You have to admit that it's a thorny issue.

"There is no way you're sticking that thing in me."

"You're more than capable of accommodating it, Avatar."

"No way. It'll hurt like hell."

"I assure you, I'll be gentle."

Korra explodes. "When you said you wanted to give me acupuncture, I thought 'you know, it might just be an elaborate ploy for Amon to stab me in the eyes, but I'll risk it – after all, they're really small needles.' Then I show up and find out that you're planning to use freaking sea urchin spines!"

"They aren't much bigger than conventional needles. And besides, why waste good material?"

In her anger Korra misses the second bit. "Do you know how many times I've impaled myself with those things?"His face barely twitches and Korra pounces on the motion. "And don't you even think about making a dirty joke, or I'll…"

"Or you'll what?" he dares her. "Set me on fire?" He points to the makeup on his face. "Been there, done that."

"Not funny."

"You only say that because you find it hilarious," he replies, not unkindly. "And what's the point of life if you can't make light of your misfortunes, however horrible, every once in a while? Now strip, young Avatar."

"'Young' Avatar? I'm of age, thank you very much," she grumbles as she sheds her clothes.

"And still quite a ways younger than me, not that you seem to care about that," answers Amon with a smile.

"I don't. You don't seem to mind having a nubile eighteen year-old in your bed on a regular basis."

"When the spirits hand you a gift, you don't question their generosity," he replies sweetly.

Korra's eyes narrow. "Oh, so I'm a gift now, am I?"

He presses a hand to his face. I try to complement her and she not incomprehensibly considers it an insult. "Sit down, Avatar," he sighs irritably.

A naked Korra huffs and puffs and pretends to blow invisible hairs from her face but does as he asks. He lets out a slow breath of relief. "Now stay there. I've prepared something special for you." He strides over to the kitchen and disappears behind the countertop. He opens the floor-bound icebox and retrieves the dish he prepared earlier. He brings it over to the Avatar and removes the covering.

She examines the plate with confusion. "Um…what is that, exactly?"

He looks down at the offering and his heart sinks. Placing the uni rolls in the icebox had not done them any favors; instead of firming up the dough wraps as he'd hoped, the cold temperature had somehow accelerated their disintegration. I knew I should have bought pre-made ones from the store. But I let ego interfere with rationale. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"It was supposed to be an uni roll," he stammers, "with cabbage, rice and fresh ginger. I had some problems with…" Since when do I stammer? He shakes his head and tries to recover. "There are many among the four nations who propagate the use of sea urchin as an aphrodisiac."

"Really," murmurs Korra sarcastically. "I've heard the same thing said about dried armadillo lion tails and ground boar-q-pine tusks, and I'm not inclined to take the word of a creepy old man who runs an exotic food booth at every Southern Water Tribe festival. But compared to him your assessment of sea urchin sounds totally legit." She makes a face and mockingly wiggles her fingers at him. "I'm guessing you've experienced its erotic power?"

"No, Avatar," he admits, trying so very hard not to let his irritation show. "But after I see to your ailing back, I intend for you to experience my erotic power. And I'm just dying to know if the uni aids your enthusiasm for…" (He makes his voice as low as possible) "…additional stress relief."

Korra's face resets and she blushes hard. "Oh. Well. Um...in that case…" She picks up a roll and, after fumbling with its spilling contents, stuffs the whole thing into her mouth.

He facepalms again. "You're not supposed to wolf down an uni dish. Take your time, savor the fl-"

"Have you eaten this stuff before? It's good," mumbles Korra through a mouthful of food.

"I had the smallest morsel to ensure it was well-seasoned-"

"Try it. You'll like it."

"I'm afraid my taste for seafood isn't what it used to be. Besides, they are meant for y-"

"Oh, stop being all 'noble' and 'above it all' and eat up," snaps Korra.

He grudgingly picks up a roll and places it in his mouth. That is delicious, he thinks with astonishment. The taste is phenomenal, and he closes his eyes to properly savor things. And Lieu always complained that I was a shit cook…

He opens his eyes to see the Avatar giving him a sultry gaze. "Well, how's the uni working for you?" She bats her eyelids. "Feeling…stimulated, yet?"

He gazes at her magnificent body, honed and sculpted by years of training; his loins ache and he wants nothing more than to push her into the sheets and bury himself in her warm heat. But not yet.

"No, Avatar. Not even a twitch."

"Liar," she teases.

As Korra reaches for the last roll he notices a new mark on her side. "That scar – one of my Equalists, I hope?" he says mockingly.

"You wish," she smirks back at him. "Last week some Triple Threat Triad guys jumped me after I left a meeting at City Hall. I could've healed the wound, but I thought it over and decided that a proper Avatar should have battle scars."

"I'd hardly claim that getting scratched while beating up idiot gangsters counts as getting a battle scar," states Amon.

"Shut your face," she mumbles.

"And a proper Avatar should always rebut their foes with more intelligent insults than 'shut your face.'"

"…shut your face."

He laughs and tells her to lie down on her stomach. As she gets comfortable, he goes over to the nearby table and picks up a large handful of urchin spines; after examining them carefully, he walks back and slides onto the bed, opting to kneel down beside Korra's breast. "Now try and relax, Avatar. You defeat the whole purpose of this exercise if you tense up too much." He mentally runs over all the relevant chi points in the human back.

"Yes, tell the girl who you're sticking with razor sharp spines to relax. Really." She winces. "Just let me know when. That way I can at least brace myself."

"It's a bit late for that, seeing as I've already put four of them in you."

"Wait, what?"

"See for yourself." Korra wrenches her head and he blurts out "Gently, gently. Don't disturb the spines."

She can barely make out the blurry shapes rising from her back. Her mouth drops open in surprise. "But…I didn't feel a thing."

"You were focused on complaining." In truth, he was employing the tiniest bit of bloodbending to dull the nerves and prevent any bleeding from happening (he'd already fiddled with the spines to make them safer for acupuncture, but one could never be too careful). In truth, I could just give her a massage and subtly bloodbend the tension out of her muscles. But that would be cheating. Besides, I desperately need a refresher. Every chi point was important to the body, even the ones not directly related to bending. Practicing on Korra was an excellent way to keep that knowledge fresh in his mind.

"As you can see, knowing the body's chi points is handy for more than subduing wayward benders." He carefully presses Korra's shoulder before inserting more spines there. "You have a lot of knots in these muscles, Avatar."

"Between probending, my airbending training and Tarrlok's task force-"

My idiot brother grows ever bolder. The day he's out of the picture will be a joyous one indeed.

"-and kicking your Equalists asses-"

"Now you're exaggerating."

She ignores his interruption. "-I've been under a lot of stress."

"Fair enough, Avatar," he smiles.

He continues with the acupuncture, checking in with Korra every few moments to see how she's holding up, and she grudgingly admits that yes, the urchin spines are working.

Actually, they work too well.

About halfway through the session Amon goes to relieve himself, and when he returns from the water closet some five minutes later he finds the Avatar fast asleep.

So much for the sex...but she is still quite a sight.

He grins as he carefully removes the spines from her back, then kisses the Avatar on the cheek and leaves her to rest. He goes to his desk and pulls out the list of vendors who service the probending arena. Who might sympathize…and who can be bought off?

Korra wakes up a few hours later and curses when she realizes how late it is. He quietly shuffles his papers back into their proper drawers as she hastily throws on her clothes and lumbers over to him.

"Tenzin's going to kill me," she groans as she slips on her armbands in front of him.

"You said it yourself: you're an adult. Who is he to question where you are and what you do?" he proclaims cheekily.

"You're an asshole," she says casually, but kisses him on the cheek. "But thanks. And my back feels much better now. Even if you did skewer me with urchin spines. I'll be back tomorrow, but not for a while after that. Fire Ferret stuff. You should come see us play," she mumbles. "I mean, if you're not too busy taking over the city and all that."

"I'll try and make an appearance." Far more than that, I'm afraid.

"Good. Well, see ya." And the Avatar disappears.

The next morning Amon wakes up with hives all over his body.

Apparently he is allergic to sea urchin.

Author's note: There is a lot of debate about whether sea urchin spines are venomous or not (I'm obviously assuming "no"). The pedicellariae between the spines, however, are venomous.