I decided to go for a change, and add this here instead of a whole new ficcie.

Oh and lyrics aren't mine, they belong to Sonata Arctica. Winterheart's Guild, the song is titled The Misery. Damn you, Sonata.

If you fall I'll catch, if you love I'll love, and so it goes, my dear, don't be scared,
you'll be safe, this I swear.
If you only love me back.

It was a cold winter night. Ieyasu Tokugawa lay in his bed all alone. He should have been asleep long ago, but he couldn't find himself to do so.

He made a mistake. A huge one.

Not only did it cost Hideyoshi Toyotomi's death, but it cost him his already fractured friendship with Mitsunari Ishida.

Despite the coldness, Ieyasu lay naked beneath the sheets, the window open, feeling the darkness around him. His yellowish orange eyes stayed open, looking at the empty space in his bed.

Mitsunari Ishida used to lay there.

Now, it was just a blank spot.

He ran his hands down his body, where Mitsunari once touched him.

He was frightened their first time, Mitsunari kept his cool, touching him, kissing him, loving him. They became one underneath the Osaka Winter, forever cementing their love into eternity, until, a mistake tore them apart.

You steal my only hope and make me stay awake another night.
I wish you bear with me, stay near me.
When the autumn leaves have fallen. Solitude, my pain, the last thing left me...

"Mitsunari..." he breathed, watching the smoke leave his lips. He was cold, but it wasn't the weather making him that way, it was emptiness. He reached out his hand, hoping in vain that Mitsunari would take it, holding his hand, entwining their fingers, never letting go.

He sat up on the bedpost, looking down at his hands, the hands that tore apart their love.

"I was a fool. I only wanted peace. I wanted a peaceful world for us..."

Another blast of cold air flew into the room, almost like a Siberian winter, and he shivered, still looking down at his cursed palms. "I..I'm sorry!" he yelled. He punched the bedpost behind him, drove his fists into the bed, screaming apologies into the wind, screaming at no one in particular, just screaming.

He rose up from the bed, punching the lamp beside him, watching it fall. Before it could hit the floor, he picked it up and threw it at the wall, watching it shatter like the pieces of his heart, like the icicles outside the window.

"Tell me what I can do. Tell me what to do to rid my heart of this agony..."

He fell to his knees, grasping the cold brick wall beside him, as more tears fell from his eyes. The tears turned to ice beneath his eyelids, falling down slowly, as he screamed more.

Outside the bedroom, everyone who Ieyasu had managed to turn on his side stood by the door, listening to the agonizing screams leaving their lord's lips. There was nothing they could do, even if they wanted to, they could not take away Ieyasu's pain.

Edo Castle was filled with many people, many Tokugawa supporters, and the Eastern Army. But to Ieyasu, it was still a lonely castle, without Mitsunari Ishida.

Osaka Castle was just as lonely. Mitsunari Ishida sat outside the large structure, laying on a rock, breathing in the cold. He watched his breath dance in the wind, the snow particles dancing around him, sending his body into deep shivers.

But he didn't care.

The only thing that bothered him was the fact that Ieyasu Tokugawa's heart still beat within his chest.

If he had any heart left.

"Why?"

It was all he could ask. They were the closest of friends, the best of lovers, the most trusting of each other. They would spend each day training, Ieyasu progressing further than he, but still willing to help, and spend each night in each other's arms.

When Ieyasu gave him the look of love, Mitsunari returned it. When Mitsunari touched Ieyasu, he would shiver and moan, pulling him closer. When Mitsunari kissed Ieyasu, their lips could touch like magic, their tongues entwining. When they would make love, it was as if nothing else mattered, and they were the only ones who existed.

He still recalled their most passionate moments. Everything was so perfect, they had their love, they had each other.

Until that fateful day that Ieyasu turned his back on him.

Ieyasu represented the light Mitsunari loved to bask in. That day, the light disappeared and turned into an eternal darkness. His shadow turned his back on him, killing his only lord, the only man who ever put trust in him, shattering his heart in the process.

"You took it away for your own selfish reasons.." Mitsunari said, clenching his fists. "The fact that you still breathe sickens me...I will have nothing more than you dying by my hand.."

"You played with my heart, you ruined my life, you took everything from me, you played me for a fool. I loved you, I had given you my heart, and you ripped it out, and shattered it."

"Are you happy Ieyasu?"

"Are you? Because I am not...I will never be happy, knowing you still live with this sin.."

"Ieyasu..." he said, clenching his teeth, seething his name in anger. "I hate you...I hate you!"

In Edo Castle, Ieyasu still kept his eyes out on the landscapes. It was the only thing keeping his mind sane. He only wanted to unite the land by means of peace. He didn't mean to ruin anyone's lives in the process.

He turned away from the outside, and slid down the wall behind him, watching as more tears fell from his eyes. "Nothing can make me escape this misery I feel. This feeling of regret. How I long to see you again, how I long to be in your arms once more."

He looked at his now bloody knuckles, they were the same as on that fateful day, and it sickened him. He watched a trail of blood fall down his hand, and said,"How much would you give to see me bleed? How much would you love to see me fall? How much more can I give you before you're satisfied? How much more must I suffer on a count of my mistake?"

"Mitsunari...Ishida...I love you."

"Broken and withered I lay here, alone without you by my side. I don't deserve your sympathy, only your hatred, only your agony blending into mine. It was a fault of mine to push you away...a fault of mine to make you hate me so..."

The words I write can only hurt you, sorry for the rain.
Thank you, my only one, you gave me this pain...I leave you gently on the floor,
take one step towards the door.
Where's the letter never written, good night now...

Despite the blistering cold, Mitsunari still sat outside Osaka Castle, contemplating, meditating. He sat cross legged on a blanket, watching as the snow circled around him, each snowflake representing a tear he would never dare shed.

He clenched his fist and watched on as memories of himself and Ieyasu flashed through his mind. Of happier times, when they were friends, when they were lovers. Ieyasu always wore a warm, happy smile, his yellow eyes would gleam in the light he basked in, pulling Mitsunari into that sun, holding him within his warmth.

But now, it was over.

And things would never be the same again.