Chapter 4: No No No, Don't Lie

Syrup Village…

"Everybody run for your lives, pirates are here!" a strange young man shouted, running down the street. He was wearing brown overalls and a hairnet, but his most distinctive feature was his 8" long nose. Suddenly, a man wielding a baseball bat threw his door open.

"Shut up, Usopp. There are no pirates. There are never any pirates. You're nothing but a worthless liar," the man yelled at the long nosed boy.

"I'm serious this time. We need to run for it while we still have time," Usopp said, looking around at the other people who were starting to come out of their houses.

Clang.

A pan hit Usopp right in the back of his head. "Get out of here Usopp. Why can't you just let us have breakfast in peace for once? It's not even seven o'clock yet," the woman who threw the pan asked.

"Yeah, go away," more villagers started shouting, throwing pans and rolling pins and other kitchen implements at him.

"Muahahah, just kidding!" Usopp laughed, running away. "Once again I have provided this boring little town with excitement." He ran out of the village and made his way to the edge of the forest. There, he climbed a tree and took a nap.

"Hey, captain, wake up!" a kid with an orange hat shouted, causing Usopp to fall out of the tree.

"Oh, hey Carrot. Hey Pepper," Usopp said to the orange-hatted kid and the kid with green hair standing next to him. "Where's Onion?"

"Everybody run for your lives, pirates are here!" a kid with brown hair and glasses was screaming, running towards them very quickly.

"Hey Onion, what's with the shouting?" Usopp asked.

"Pirates are here. They're heading towards the beach on the north side of the island!" Onion exclaimed.

"Yeah right. You're lying just like the captain does," said Pepper.

"No, I'm serious you guys. There are two small boats flying Buggy the Clown's flag."

"Oh my, look at the time. I'd better be going. I don't want to miss my cooking class," Usopp said, turning to run away.

"Liar," Carrot said, "you're just afraid to face them."

"I only saw three people on board though Captain." said Onion.

"Men, ready Island Defense Strategy #17," Usopp commanded, suddenly turning around. "We will not allow these pirates to threaten our peaceful village."

"Aye aye, sir!" the three kids shouted, as they all headed north.

The North Beach…

"Finally, land," Luffy said, stepping onto the beach. "Okay, first thing we need to do is get some provisions, and then… Who's there? Show yourself," he shouted, looking up at the top of the cliff.

"Hello, I am Captain Usopp; brave warrior, feared pirate, and defender of this island. I lead a force of over 8,000 men, each a danger on their own, but together we are a nearly unstoppable force. I suggest you leave this island while I still feel merciful," Usopp decreed. Along the cliff edge, dozens of flags popped up, displaying a skull and crossbones with a long nose.

"8,000 huh? I count three," Nami said, stepping out of the other boat.

'Oh crap, she knows!' the kids thought, dropping their flags and running away.

"Shishishishi," Luffy laughed, watching the flags fall.

"Grrr, how dare you laugh at me. I am a proud warrior, and I will not be mocked!" Usopp yelled, drawing his slingshot and aiming at Luffy.

"I see," said Luffy, getting serious. He stared directly at Usopp, his face covered in the shadow of his hat. "But now that you've drawn your gun, are you prepared to use it?"

"Huh?" Usopp responded.

"Guns aren't for making threats, they're for actions. So take your shot and fight, or stand down and live," Luffy said, cracking his knuckles. Next to him, Zoro drew one of his swords.

Usopp stood still for a few seconds before dropping to his knees. 'Wow. Words are so much stronger when you can actually back them up.' he thought to himself. "Fine. You win…" he conceded, dropping his slingshot on the ground.

"Hahaha!" Luffy and Zoro started laughing.

"I stole that line from my hero, Red-Haired Shanks!" Luffy said.

"You know Red-Haired Shanks?!" Usopp asked incredulously.

"Yeah. I know your dad too. His name's Yasopp, right?"

"That is my dad's name. How did you know that?"

"I met him when I was little. He was a part of Shanks' crew. He used to talk about you all the time."

"My dad is a member of a famous pirate crew? That's so cool! Could you tell me more about him? He left when I was really young, so I don't have a lot to go on."

"Sure, but first,"

Gurgle

"Do you know where we could get some food?"

In Town…

"…and then they went back to sea. That's everything I know about your dad, but I'll bet he's still with Shanks. They seemed like good friends," Luffy said, finishing his fifth plate of food.

"Wow, he sounds awesome. Thanks for that Luffy. My dad followed his heart, and someday I'm going to follow his example and set out to sea as well. It was really great to meet you guys, but I have somewhere I need to be soon. I'll see you guys later," Usopp said, getting up and heading out the front door.

"That was weird, I wonder where he ran off to in such a hurry." said Nami.

"What he does with his life is none of our business. Besides, we got a free meal out of him, so who cares?" Zoro asked, chugging his eighth pint of rum.

"I didn't see him leave any money though," Luffy chimed in between bites of a large chicken leg.

"That sneaky bastard dined and dashed us didn't he!" Nami shouted, jumping to her feet. She looked like she was ready to kill somebody.

"Calm down. He said he'd see us later, so you can get the money from him then. Besides, he seems like a nice enough guy. I'm sure he just got caught up in thinking about all the stuff I told him about his dad and forgot about paying. We'll deal with it later, okay?" said Luffy, who had finished the chicken leg and moved on to a giant rack of ribs.

"Calm down? He may seem nice enough, but he didn't look rich enough to pay the bill for the barn worth of meat you ate or the lake of rum Zoro drank!" Nami shouted hysterically.

"Why don't we just use some of the money we stole from Buggy?" Luffy asked. "Or not!" he added quickly, as he felt a wave of murderous fury wash over him.

"We're pirates, right? Why don't we just leave too?" Zoro asked, setting down his tenth pint.

"No. These people were nice enough to feed us, so we're going to pay them. I don't mind stealing from other pirates, or even Marines, but these people are just trying to make a living. Shanks always paid for his meals and so will I. We can crush the weak if we have to, but we will not hurt the innocent. Is that clear?" Luffy asked sharply, staring at Zoro.

"Absolutely!" Zoro replied. He felt a small twinge of something he had never felt before. Fear. He was pretty sure this was what fear felt like, having seen it in the eyes of his enemies.

"Nami, pay the bill, and let's get going. We need to find a ship." Luffy said, getting up from the table.

"Okay." Nami said weakly, the power emanating from Luffy overwhelming her obsession with money. She reached into the small pouch of money she always had with her and paid the owner.

After Nami paid, Luffy went up to the owner. "Excuse me, but do you know where we could get a ship?" Luffy asked the man.

"A ship? You'd have to talk to Miss Kaya about that. She's the only one rich enough to afford a ship on this island. She lives in the mansion up on top of the hill over there," he answered, pointing at a beautiful two-story gated house.

"Thanks!" Luffy said, heading out the door, followed by Nami and Zoro.

As they stepped outside, they found three children waiting for them.

"What have you done to our captain?" Carrot asked.

"Do you mean Usopp? He said he had somewhere to be, so he left," Luffy replied.

"Oh, then he went to visit Miss Kaya," Pepper said.

"Why would someone like him be visiting a mansion?" Nami wondered out loud.

"To tell lies!" Onion answered.

"That's horrible!" Nami exclaimed.

"No, it's really nice. Miss Kaya is very sick, and she can't leave her room. So the Captain goes to visit her and tells her a story to make her feel better," Pepper said.

"Oh wow, that's actually kinda sweet when you put it like that." said Nami.

"Alright then, let's go see about getting a real ship. If she's friends with Usopp, she must be a good person!" Luffy stated, heading towards the mansion.

"Luffy, you idiot. You can't just walk up to someone's house and ask for a ship!" Nami shouted at him.

"Don't worry about it." he said, continuing to walk towards the mansion, as the others begrudgingly followed. "It'll be fine, okay."

At Kaya's House

"…and then we escaped on a giant slingshot ball!" Usopp said, finishing his story. He was sitting in a tree overlooking the grounds of a large mansion. In the window, a pale-skinned girl was laughing. She had flowing blonde hair and light brown eyes, and was wearing a mint green dress. Suddenly, Luffy dropped down out of the sky, his arms wrapped around Nami, Zoro, Pepper, Carrot, and Onion.

"Warn people the next time you're gonna do something like that, you idiot!" Nami shouted, punching Luffy's head as he let go of everyone. Zoro heaved an exasperated sigh, and the kids backed away from Luffy like he was a monster.

"Are you all okay?" the girl in the window asked.

"They're fine," Luffy replied, looking up at her and waving off the other's complaints. "Are you Kaya?"

"Yes, I am. Have we met before?"

"No, but the people in town said I should see you to ask about getting a ship."

"How did you people get in here?" a man asked, coming around from the front of the house. He was tall, with slicked black hair and glasses. He wore a black suit with what appeared to be two golden turds on it, and large black and white striped shoes. "Honestly, why do we pay the guards, if not to prevent this kind of situation?"

"I'm just looking for a ship. If you'll give me one, then I can leave," Luffy said nonchalantly.

"This is Miss Kaya's home, not a charity. We will not be giving you a ship, so I suggest you leave now. The same goes for you, Usopp. You are a liar and a troublemaker, and I do not want to see you lurking around this house anymore. Whether you want money, or something else, you will not find it here," the man stated sharply.

"Klahadore, that's not fair. Usopp is a good person. Apologize right now, or…" Kaya said to the man, before being interrupted by Usopp.

"Relax, Kaya. It's fine. I'll just go now, alright?"

"Yes, please leave. I am not about to degrade myself by having to apologize to the son of a filthy pirate," Klahadore said, looking smug.

"How dare you?! My father was a great man who choose to follow his dreams. He set sail beneath a pirate flag to become a brave warrior of the sea, and I respect him for it. Someday, I'll join a pirate crew and be just like him!" Usopp shouted, jumping down from the tree.

"'A brave warrior of the sea?' Pirates are nothing more than scum, the lowest of the low, and the most pathetic group of people in the world. If I were to spit on them it would be an improvement, because at least then they could clean themselves up," Klahadore ranted, making Usopp angrier and angrier with each word. "Your father, and everyone like him, is a stain upon the…"

Usopp had heard enough. He ran forward and punched Klahadore square in the face. "Don't EVER speak about my father like that again, you understand?" he asked, raising his fist up again.

"Stop it, please, both of you!" Kaya shouted, causing Usopp to let go of Klahadore.

"There, you see. He resorts to violence to solve his problems, just like any wild beast. It is not safe for you to be around him, my lady. Leave this place at once, Usopp," said Klahadore, brushing himself off and straightening his glasses with his palm.

"Fine, I'm leaving. Don't worry, you'll never see me around here again," Usopp said before storming off.

"Come on you guys, we're leaving too," said Luffy, motioning for them to follow him.

Outside the Gate...

"That was not 'fine, okay'!" Nami shouted angrily.

"Alright, I'll admit, that didn't go the way I wanted it to," Luffy said, "but look on the bright side."

"What bright side?!" they all shouted at him.

"I don't know. I was kinda hoping that one of you had something," he said, looking around at them. "Hey, where's Usopp?"

"He's probably over by the shore at his secret thinking place," Carrot said.

"Maybe we should go see if he's okay," said Pepper.

"I'll do it," Luffy said, "you guys just wait right here."

"Hey, where's your other friend?" Nami asked the kids as Luffy walked away.

"Oh yeah, Onion!" they both exclaimed, looking around.

"He does tend to just randomly disappear sometimes," Pepper stated.

"Yeah, and then he'll just come running out of nowhere shouting something like…"

"Look out you guys, some crazy backwards walking guy is coming this way!" Onion shouted, running up to them out of nowhere.

"You see?" Carrot said, finishing his previous statement.

"You liar!" Pepper said to Onion.

"I'm telling the truth, look!" Onion said, pointing down the road. Sure enough, a man in a dark blue trench coat and light brown pants was walking backwards down the street. He was also wearing a wide brimmed hat that was the same color as his coat, and green and brown gloves. As he reached them, they also noticed he was wearing red, heart shaped sunglasses.

"How dare you call me crazy," the man said, "I'm a perfectly normal guy, I'll have you know."

"Right, sure you are," Nami responded with heavy sarcasm.

"It's true. I'm just an average, ordinary hypnotist," he said defensively.

"A hypnotist, that's so cool. Could you show us something, please?" the kids asked.

"Why would I do something like that? Okay, look at this ring. One. Two. JANGO!" The children and the hypnotist all fell over and started snoring loudly.

Later, at the Secret Thinking Place…

"Hey," Luffy said, sitting down next to Usopp. They were sitting on a cliff overlooking the shining blue ocean, that stretched on as far as the eye could see. "How's it going?"

"Well, I came here to be alone, but I guess that's not an option now, is it? I'm just so mad at that stupid butler for saying that stuff about my dad," Usopp admitted.

"I know what you mean. I was this close to hitting him myself, but with all those shots at your dad, I figured you needed it more than me."

"Thanks. Hey, isn't that him down there? What could he possibly be doing out here at this time of day?" Usopp asked, noticing Klahadore walking down on the beach.

"Let's listen and find out," Luffy replied, crawling out to the edge of the cliff.

Down on the Beach…

"Jango, what were you doing sleeping in the middle of the road? I thought I told you to keep a low profile," Klahadore asked the hypnotist.

"It's fine, I'm like a chameleon. Totally inconspicuous," Jango responded.

"Is everything ready to go?"

"But of course. Operation: Murder the Rich Girl is ready whenever you give the word."

"Accident, Jango, not murder."

"Sorry. Accident."

"It's not just about killing her though. After you all destroy the village, you are going to hypnotize Miss Kaya and have her write a will, leaving everything to her faithful butler, Klahadore. Then you kill her. Is that clear?"

"Crystal, Captain Kuro sir."

"Don't call me that. When this is all over, 'Captain Kuro' will be gone forever. Tell the men to be ready to strike at dawn. No survivors." With that, Kuro straightened his glasses with his palm, and walked away.

Back at the Secret Thinking Place…

"They're going to kill Kaya?! This is bad. We have to warn the villagers. We have to evacuate the island, we have to…"

SMACK

"Calm down, Usopp," Luffy said quietly after slapping him in the face. "No offense, but your reputation for honesty is terrible. Do you really think anyone is going to believe you any more than they usually do?"

"No. But this is my home. I have to try to protect them," Usopp replied.

"I didn't say we weren't going to protect the city. I just meant we weren't going to tell anyone. There's no reason to alarm everyone if we stop the pirates before they get off the beach. We'll go get Zoro and Nami, and then we'll come up with a plan of attack."

"Alright, let's do that."

Five Minutes Later, at the South Entrance…

"…and that's the plan. Any questions?" Usopp asked.

"Just one." replied Nami. "What about the North Entrance where we docked?"

"Oh yeah. I figured that since they were talking about it here, this must be where they plan to attack from," Usopp responded.

"That has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard!" Nami shouted at him.

"Okay, how about this. Zoro, you and Nami go to the north shore, while Usopp and I stay here. They said it started at dawn. So at dawn, whoever doesn't see them will run to the other group. Then we beat them up. Problem solved," Luffy suggested.

"Well, that sounds like a gross oversimplification, but it's better than Usopp's idea. Come on Zoro, let's get going."

"Hey, Luffy, since we still have some time, I want to at least try to warn Kaya about this. With Kuro in her house, it may not matter if we beat all his men. She could still be in danger." Usopp said as Zoro and Nami walked away.

"Sure, you can try. I won't stop you."

"Okay, I'll be back soon." With that, Usopp headed off towards Kaya's house. He didn't notice Luffy looking after him, his straw-hat shading his eyes.

At the Mansion…

Thump

Usopp threw a rock at Kaya's window, trying to draw her attention. The window opened, and Kaya leaned out to see who was there.

"Oh, Usopp, you came back. That's wonderful. I'm sorry for the way Klahadore treated you, but you shouldn't have hit him like that. But I'm sure that if you apologize, he'll…"

"Kaya, listen to me. Klahadore is actually a pirate named Captain Kuro. I saw him on the beach earlier, talking with someone about killing you. You have to come with me now, you're in great danger!"

"Usopp, why would you say something like that? I know he got a bit out of hand, but that's no reason to lie about him like that. If this is how you're going to act, I don't think you should come by here for a while."

"Kaya, I'm telling you the truth, we have to go now." Usopp said, jumping over to her windowsill, and grabbing her arm. "Come on, quickly, before…"

"NO!"

SMACK

Kaya slapped him in the face and pulled her arm away. "Leave. Now."

"Fine," Usopp said angrily. With no other options, he turned and headed back to the south shore.

Dawn, North Entrance…

"Looks like I get to have some fun today." Zoro said, putting a sword in his mouth. There, on the beach, 30 pirates, led by Jango, were approaching the slope. Not a single one of them looked to be anything more than fodder. Trash that dared to sail on the sea with no ambition, he could already tell that he wouldn't need to bother his Captain with this rabble.

Blood.

That one word consumed Zoro's thoughts as he looked down at the enemy pirates. His was rushing, as his body prepared to paint the beach with theirs. With a sword in each hand and one in his mouth, he charged down the cliff. Crossing his arms and streamlining his body he struck,

"Oni Giri!"

The first three men up the road dropped to the ground, their heads rolling back down to the beach. Before anyone could react, Zoro continued forward, cutting people down left, right, and center. More heads rolled, torsos fell off of legs, and blood went everywhere. He was little more than a blur of green and white as he ended a life with each swing and thrust of his three blades.

From her vantage point Nami witnessed the slaughter, and though the sight of their deaths sickened her, she couldn't bring herself to feel sorry for any of them. They were filthy pirates after all, and unlike Luffy and Zoro these monsters didn't seem to have any problems attacking a defenseless village. Thinking about it she actually found it slightly poetic that these pirates would meet their end at the hands of other pirates who were fighting to actually save people. It made her think about her own situation…

Less than a minute after it started, the battle was over. Zoro sheathed two of his swords and held Wado at Jango's throat. "Game over."

"Not quite. Sham, Buchi!"

Two strange people jumped off of the cat boat. One was so fat he was almost perfectly spherical; while the other was so skinny he could hide behind a flagpole.

"At your service, captain. What can we do for… Oh, I see." the skinny one said, noticing the sword against his captains neck. Zoro grinned, like a demon, it looked like he'd be having some worthwhile prey after all.

Sorry this took so long my work decided that giving the new guy a week of overtime was funny and my ex-girlfriend became hurricane Bitchyann. I hope you like it cause this is the last of the rewrites. From here on out it'll be all 98% my work, with the 2% being the input from Fedora411, who will be my Beta reader, and the reviewers and PMers that give me ideas. Now I'm looking to reread/watch One Piece cause, honestly, there's a lot I've forgotten and I need to keep track of the general story no matter how far I veer off course. I know this wasn't as many words as I promised but like I said I've been under pressure. The crew's training will start in the next chapter more than likely and things will really start changing from canon. Also, I'm thinking of making all of my chapters' names after lines from popular songs, what do you all think?

Please review me as it helps me greatly, flames can go burn the trolls for all I care, and feel free to PM me if you have any questions or suggestions. P.S. I added the insight into Nami because a Guest wrote: "Well your Luffy seems every bit the pirate Nami hates with good reason. I'm out. Good luck."