The home we had been living in was getting quite small since Alice and Jasper moved in. It was only a six room home--Edward and I were no where close to sharing a room-- with eight people living in it. The sleeping was easy seeing as not one of us needed it at all though it was getting quite crowded in it.

Eventually Carlisle bought a new one that is deeper in the forest. It was a large older home. It had three floors, with many of many rooms for our pleasure to decorate at will. Esme had discovered a love for restoration and fell in love with the antique house. She decided to nock out the eight rooms in the first floor and make it one large family room, leaving only two of the original rooms standing. Then she built a porch around the whole first floor of the home with some help from Emmett and me.

The two rooms left from Esme's path of destruction would be the kitchen and a den for Jasper seeing as Alice has her personality all over their room. She also decided to nock out the entire south wall—yes even on the top two floors—replacing it with an entire pain of glass.

The second floor was where Carlisle's office was along with Rosalie and Emmett's room. Then on the third floor were Edwards and my room. Edward's room and mine were the only two rooms that were not white. Edward had a dark golden carpet and a whole wall dedicated his CD's and books and a burgundy colored wall. Mine was based on Paris, Danielle's favorite place to paint. It was also the place where I was to propose to her. True, we where never married but I had always waited for the perfect place and ring to ask her with.

Years had past with out any new sights of the grave. By now it was 2005, I needed to see it one last time, I needed to see it and it finally tell myself she is dead and not alive. I'm sure Carlisle would not mind if I got a plain ticket.

"Nickolaus! Would you go any where with out telling us?" Alice questioned me with Edward right behind her backing her up on every word she said. I knew I could not get out with out someone getting in the way. Surely Alice would have seen it in a vision and Edward would have read her mind and now here they were, standing in my door way badgering me with questions. And I was half way done packing. Oh well.

"I just…I just need to see it one last time before I can finally tell myself she's dead." I said knowing if I didn't tell the truth Edward would surely read my mind to see if it was.

"I'm coming too." Edward said firmly knew would take no for an answer with no choice I had to let him come.

"Why would you want to come? What would want to make you to fly half way across the world to see a grave of a person you don't know??" I said a little proud of myself for coming up with that question.

"Well…"he thought "someone needs to make sure you come back and we're practically brothers. "He said a little proud of himself. Damn it I thought I had him.

"And besides I have to come too! I can't just be left here! I'm your sister!" Alice chimed in.

"What about Jasper?" Edward asked.

Alice thought and stomped off grumbling something about how unfair Edward was. I chuckled.



After I went to Carlisle to tell him about it he silently nodded in approval. After I bought the tickets online Alice was still mad about not being able to go and had locked her self in her room till we left.

The plain ride was slow but bearable. The movie looked like it was a romantic comedy, just what I needed right now.

"Nickolaus?" Edward asked. He seemed hesitant.

"Yes?" I asked back, I was bored and a little reluctant to go to Cork again. I did not want the terrible memories to come back. But I need to make sure she was dead and I was not insane trying to tell myself she isn't and is going to walk up to my bedroom door and say "I love you and never ever leave me like that again" and we would never go any where with out each other gain.

"What makes you think she is still alive?" he seemed truly puzzled at my mind.

"It's just if you would have met her, you too would know something is not right. Before we went to Ipswich she was as happy as ever. But I'm not sure how she did die. I mean how many vampires just drop dead with out not even being killed by another vampire having to do it?"

"I'm not sure. I don't even think that's possible. I don't even think Carlisle knows of any who have." Edward admitted.

"Exactly, I know she is alive. I think she was trying to tell me something though. Her grave said "Died looking for her special someone. She was too sweet to die so god put her to sleep only to awake again" there has to be something in there, don't you think?"I said hoping Edward would catch something that I haven't.

"I think your right, Nickolaus. Let me think about it while we wait." Then he laid back and closed his eyes. He would have looked like he was sleeping to someone else but I knew he was not. The plain jolted in the turbulence while a pilot came on the intercom to keep us calm and put on our seat belts. The rest of the flight was smooth and calm.

Right now I could really relate to that song 'Life on Standby' from Hawthorne Heights.

--

Cork was totally different. The only thing that was the same was the park where I sat for days and mourned. New stores, new streets, and new every thing it was like walking in to a dream that was never dreamed of. It had surely changed in nearly 120 years. I just hope that the cemetery is still standing seeing how many new buildings are standing.

I turned down a familiar dirt road and a sharp right turn. I see it, and every thing stands still. The large metal gates are still barely standing, off in the distance a weeping willow stands. As we walk though the gates its like I'm back in the 1700's again, I don't hear Edward as he talks to me in the background. I feel like I'm alone and I'm walking to the dreaded spot again. I feel the sadness over come my heart, as I start to see the angel on the roof of the mausoleum again. The face of it is old and crumbling with age. I see the familiar writing on the walls again stating Danielle's birth, death and how she died. And what I see shocks me. I fell to my knees with my mouth hanging open. The door to the mausoleum was kicked 

off. I ran to it to see what had happened. What I saw next shocked me more than the door being kicked off. The lid to the casket was slid to the other side and on the floor with no body or bones anywhere in sight.

"Nickolaus?" I cold hear Edward outside looking at the door "What do you think happened here?"

I said nothing.

"Nickolaus?" he called again.

"Edward…" I was speechless "Edward come here!! She's …she's alive!!" I cried.

"What?!" he sounded dumbfounded.

"She is!" for once I was happy.

"Nickolaus," Edward sounded sad, apologetic "this could have been years ago or a grave rober stole her bones or she could have been kidnapped if she was really alive. For all we know she could really be dead." He was really sorry to tell me this. He was looking down at the ground when he spoke. "I'm sorry. I really am."

My heart sunk in to a black abyss at those very words. He was right, she probably was dead. My face fell. And I looked to the ground. "Your right, she probably is dead." I knew it. I didn't know what to expect when I got here.

"Come on lets go" I was mad and full of sorrow. I was sick of this place.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, let's get outta his place."

We got to the hotel and I just collapsed on to the couch. Today was one of the worst days of my life. This was going to be tough. The rest of eternity with out Danielle, at least I can finally tell myself she is dead and never coming back.

The plain ride was slower than ever. I just wanted to get home. I wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out again. It was silent the whole time, as soon as I out on the plain I focused in and out of consciousness.

Alice was the first one too meet us at the door.

"Hey." Alice said low, her voice full of sorrow.

"Hey." I replied.

"I'm sorry." She said and caught me in a hug.

I hesitated. "Thanks." And hugged her back.



When school time came I didn't go this time. Instead I stayed home with Carlisle and Esme.

It was the middle of the year when Edward started acting strange. Every night he would go out. No one knew where he went. The only person who had a clue was Edward………and Alice.

"Alice! Tell me what is going on with Edward! It's driving me crazy!!" Esme begged Alice one night while Edward was away and we were all in the living room.

Turns out, he has started seeing someone and she was human. Alice explained to her; then out of nowhere I heard Alice call from upstairs "I got it!" and ran to the door.

"Who is it?" Carlisle called from his office.

"I'm not sure I didn't see who but it will ring in a few seconds." She called back. I was in my room with the stereo turned up full blast. I was listening to My Chemical Romance but I still heard them.

Then the door bell rang.