Summary: She's living in a world of sex, drugs, depression, self harm, and more just trying to get by. There's only one person who can save her from this life...and from herself. Can he? Loe.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

With one final grunt from him and- against my better judgment- a moan from myself he collapsed on top of me, both of us panting our lungs out.

I find myself wondering how exactly I got here…I mean I know HOW I got here, I guess I'm really wondering why. The past few hours became a blur to me, I know I was at Miley's eating dinner but I cut out early because he called. But before I can put too much thought into it, I feel a large weight literally lifting off my chest and watch him stand up, reaching for his boxers.

"Nice one tonight Truscott," he said and laughed. I shuddered at the sound of his laugh. There is nothing that could pass as loving emotion in the tone of his voice, or his laugh for that matter. "Mhm," is my only response. I light a cigarette; I'm hoping to clear my head. I take a particularly long drag and blow out a perfect smoke ring. Blake is only half naked now; I'm positive he plans to keep it that way…teasing me with his perfect body. Ugh.

"I swear girl you get better every time," he says. I'm not exactly sure if he's talking to me or himself. I just take another drag so I can avoid answering him either way. He looks at me for the first time since he got up from the bed, keep in mind I'm still naked. "And you're so hot," he adds seductively, emphasizing the 'so'. I watch his every move as he comes back to sit next to me.

He takes my cigarette from me, and takes a drag himself. "Hey!" I say in protest. He softly chuckles and put my cigarette out in a nearby ashtray. I glare at him. His response however, is what really set off a reaction in me. His hands were running up and down my thighs, but the movement quickly spread and I was receiving a full body massage.

What ever memories that I regained from the back of my subconscious were again long gone at the touch. I shivered and relaxed into him; my mind screaming in protest, but my body begging for more. I am so weak. Five, ten, fifteen minutes…I really don't know how much time passed but it seemed like forever. Then he just stopped, and smiled at me.

"What the fuck?" I breathed out, angrily. If he's going to get me started, he better get me finished. He smiled the perfect smile and got up off the bed. "I really should get you home now Truscott." He pulls his shirt on. I hate Blake Goodman, so much.

Regardless, I quickly dress myself, re-light the cigarette he just had to put out, stuck it in my mouth, grabbed my bag, and headed out the door. The depression came rushing back at me with the assistance of the chilly air. I sigh and head towards his car, Blake not far behind.

The ride home is silent, not one word. I'm actually surprised, not complaining, but surprised. Blake Goodman never lets me off easy, he loves making me awkwardly talk to him. I want to know what gives, so I ask him. "So you fuck me and don't talk to me? That's a first…what's your issue?" I noticed to my dissatisfaction that my tone is bitter, almost begging. He must have noticed it too, because he's grinning. "When have you ever complained before Truscott?" His tone is taunting, teasing me. I glare at him and l gaze out the window, not saying another word. "But if you must know," he starts, "I'm upset actually." Since my back is turned to him I make a face, Blake Goodman upset? He read my thoughts; I hate how he can do that. "That's right sweetheart, I'm upset. It's not a big deal, but I heard some things." I turn to face him now, hooked by the curiosity now.

"See, I heard from some inside sources that you were seen flirting with the new kid. It doesn't work that way Lilly, if you're going to be fucking with me then I strongly suggest you keep other guys away from you. I don't want an STD or anything," he says to me. He has the nerve to say to me. Without even meaning to I throw out a disgusted grunt. "Fuck you," I mumble under my breath. My back is towards him again, and I can FEEL his smile pressing into my back. The rest of the car ride wasn't so silent.

"Three hundred tonight," he says with a smile. I rip the money from his hands and slam the mustang door behind me. I hear him drive off, and it takes everything in me not to turn around and cuss his pretty little face out. I have to always think ahead, after all, he is my…provider.

I begin the long walk home that I've become so accustomed to. My thoughts are spinning in all different directions. I decide to take a detour. It's probably late but I don't care.

XoXo

I approach a small abandoned looking building and enter quietly. "Ollie?" I hear something falling to the floor with a loud bang. "Fuck Lilly don't fucking scare me like that!" A guy's voice rang throughout the building. "Sorry. Thank god you're here, I need a hit," I reply with a smile. He laughs. "I've already had many!"

I follow him to the back room and instantly I feel three pairs of eyes on me. I look down and suddenly remember I'm dressed like a complete whore, and I've got to have sex hair. I wish I could feel embarrassment still, but that emotion has faded too. I notice many empty bottles of alcohol and some joints sprawled across the table.

I looked at Oliver, he was so high, and I wouldn't be surprised if he was drunk off his ass too. I felt a twinge of remorse surge through my body for a moment, Oliver had changed so much. A couple months ago when his parents got a divorce and his older brother killed himself he snapped, although I can't blame him. He sadly became a druggie, and actually he turned me onto drugs, but that's the only thing he knows I do. More than often he's here in this building getting high with people I've never seen or met. I feel myself blinking back unwanted tears.

"Guys, this is Lillian Marie Truscott, my best friend!" Oliver said, clumsy with his words. I smile at the three other guys in the room. They appeared older than Oliver, so I examined them more closely.

One of the guys, who looked about eighteen, is tall and muscular. His face is stricken with stubble, his eyes a brilliant shade of green, and his blonde hair long enough to touch his eyes. He is wearing a tightly fitted white t-shirt, which shows off his chest muscles perfectly. He looks taller than six feet.

The second in the room was a smaller guy, looking about five ten or so. He also looks younger than then other. He is skinny, but still has amazing muscles. He is wearing a red shirt with a leather jacket over it, and skinny jeans. His eyes are a light, mesmerizing brown, his hair dark brown, short and spiky. I notice he has his ears gauged.

The final one I look at was definitely the cutest. They are all very cute, but this one strikes my interest. He is shorter than the others, but definitely taller than me. His eyes are a beautiful shade of light blue; his hair light brown and dangling a little bit lower than his gorgeous eyes. It is styled in such a manor off to the side so his eyes do show. He is wearing a sleeveless black shirt and very destroyed jeans. His smile is hypnotizing, all his teeth perfectly straight. I find myself staring.

"LIIIIILLY!" Oliver screams in my face breaking the trance, while waving a joint. I snatch it from his hands and push him out of the way. He stumbles backwards and falls on his ass. The four completely wasted guys crack up laughing at this. I cannot help but smile.

"So introduce me to yourselves," I said smoothly as I light the joint. I sit down in a random chair and spread my legs apart a little, showing a little of what my shirt covered. I watched all their eyes fall down to the opening. I took a puff of the goods; feeling my pain leave me already.

The first guy was the first to speak up. "I'm Mason Lavoine, eighteen years old. Senior." I got the age dead on. The second guy spoke up next. "I'm Jake Michaels, seventeen, also a senior." His words slur more than Mason's did. Finally the cutest of the bunch responded, the only one I really care about hearing. I take another drag. "I'm Evan Caspian, sixteen, junior." He has got to be the most gone out of all of them. I feel a smile creep up on my face, junior? This boy is way too sexy for me not to know.

See the thing about me is this…I find many ways to cope with my pain; cutting, smoking, drinking, doing drugs, and even messing around with guys. I don't do the last one very often, but when I see an opportunity for a good one, I take it. Fuck what Blake says.

I motion for Evan to come sit next to me, and he obeys- but not before grabbing me a drink first. I graciously accept it and take a sip. Strong, just how I like it and the good thing is that I'm also kind of a lightweight. Hah.

Before I know it, I'm so high and unbelievably drunk off my ass. I'm on top of Evan now, both of us shirtless, I can't remember when it happened but it feels so good. We're in a heated make-out session, and I taste the alcohol on his breath. He is about to take off my skirt but somehow through all the substance-induced emotions I hear Oliver scream "COPS!"

I jump so high that I fall off Evan and tumble to the floor. Shit. Shit. Shit. I can't get caught by the cops; I already illegally live alone and now this? Oliver knows it, and must be thinking it too because he says, "Lilly you have time, go now, you can't get caught." I look at him but he shoos me away and I take off running. It is very difficult considering how under the influence I am. Right as I round the corner I hear the cops burst into the building; just in time. I sigh and slow my awkward running to a slow stumble; I'm hidden safely in the shadows now.

XoXo

I completely lost track of time, and I'm surprised I managed to get here…but I'm in my neighborhood now. The sun is coming up so I know it must be at least past six. I'm still not even close to being sober, so it must have been only like five o clock when I left the building.

I continue stumbling down the street with my head down. I realize how exhausted I am. Suddenly I'm knocked to the cement by a huge force. I groan and look up, my eyes met with beautiful brown ones. "Lilly? God again…I'm so sorry, let me help you up," Joe says as his face turns a shade or two of pink. "Ha ha thanks Joey!" I slur out, trying my hardest to keep my obvious condition under the rug. He looks at me funny.

"Lilly are you drunk?" He asks me with an accusing tone. I nod my head and smile. Good thing he didn't realize I was also high as hell. I watch him sigh. "I haven't…haven't been h-home ALL night Joe. I watched the clouds and the trees taunt me with their colors of the RAINBOW!" I listen to what I'm saying, and realize it makes no sense. I giggle profusely. Suddenly I'm off the ground, he's carrying me somewhere.

"My house is right here, you can sleep for a while," I listen to him say now, with a gentle tone to his voice. As soon as he opens the door I'm hit with the scent of him. It's a very alluring scent. "You smell very, very good Joseph!" He smiles at me and leads me up the stairs to his room. It smells even better.

"Just lie down and go to sleep Lilly. I'll call the school for you." He calmly says to me. I babble on for a little bit more and he just sits there patiently and listens. I stop talking and look at him. He's so adorable.

"Lilly…why were you out all night drunk?" he asks me. I hear concern line his voice. I feel my face become grave. "He fucked me tonight, I made three hundred bucks. I gotta…gotta do it so I can stay alive. Dad's not coming back so I gotta make the money. Ollie gave me a hit and I made out with Evan. Damn he's fine," I was slurring my words out so fast that I couldn't stop myself. Before I could barely realize the damage I have done and the look of horror on Joe's face, I passed out.

Uh oh, Lilly just spilled some of her deep dark secrets to Joe. Yeah, alcohol can do that to you. How will he react? What will he do? Find out if you read and review!