TITLE: Duck Dodgers: Sera-phib?

AUTHOR: Andrew Joshua Talon

FANDOM: Looney Toons, Duck Dodgers in the 24th and a ½ Century

GENRE: Humor, Sci-fi action

WARNINGS: A little innuendo, a little dark humor, a tad bit of violence, ships blowing up, and bodies floating in space. How's that?

RATING: PG to PG-13

NOTES: Thank you, A. Penelope Quill. With your encouragement, I've got the inspiration I need to keep going!

SECTOR 342 – NEUTRAL SPACE - 43.9 LTYR from SOL SYSTEM

"Guhhhh..." Doctor Tobias Malcom was rightly called a genius. It was he who had revolutionized starship construction with the introduction of molecular-bonding modules, that allowed every Protectorate vessel to be repaired of anything less than a cataclysmic core breach with ease. It was he who had created the artificial-neuron computers that would become the mainstays of the Protectorate information super highway for the next thousand years. And, it was he who had developed the first androids (the Malcom series) to be adopted for use by the military.

But right now, all he was was a man with a headache.

"It's okay now, D-Doctor Malcom," soothed a kind voice above him.

"Your vital signs have returned to normal... However, the plasma infusion will take time to completely take effect," another voice he recognized as Sara's said above him. Groggily, he opened his eyes.

The sleek, circular bridge of the Seraphim greeted his eyes, as did Sara's smiling face and... A pig in a Protectorate uniform. Tobias blinked.

"Where... Are we?" Sara smiled.

"Roughly 43.9004 lightyears from Earth. I believe that, once my computer core processor is replaced with our spare, we will be able to head there."

"As it stands, the S-S-Seraphim's FTL drives are o-o-o, ah, disabled, Doctor," the pig continued. "W-W-We don't have the n-n-needed c-computer codes to run them." Malcom groaned in response, before trying to sit up. Sara, gently but firmly, pushed him back down.

"Now now, Tobias... You are still not yet fully recovered. Please rest."

"I would, if I'd made the deck of the bridge more comfortable," Tobias grimaced.

"I'd, er, j-j-just like to say, D-Doctor Malcom, that I'm a huge f-f-fuh, ah, admirer of yours. Y-Y-You're one of my childhood h-heroes!" Malcom blinked at the pig.

"... I'm only 28... I'm not that old, am I?..." The EYS Cadet smiled, embarrassed.

"Uh, er, I mean, you're one of my heroes, s-sir..." Malcom managed a nod, his headache still tormenting him.

"That's... Good... So... What ship are you from, if I might ask, cadet?" The EYS Cadet saluted with a small smile.

"The Drake, sir..." Malcom's eyes shot wide open, as he leapt up to his feet.

"WHAT?! You mean that-Guh!" Tobias fell down, the dizziness of getting up too quickly easily overcoming his brief momentum. Sara caught him, and set him down gently.

"Now Tobias..."

"That deranged, egomaniacal duck is on my ship?! Who KNOWS what he's doing to my baby now?!"

"Well, Tobias, all he really asked for was that you consider making another me for him," Sara said, looking frankly amused (and disgusted) at that notion.

"NEVER! Never in a million years! That pervert can make his OWN sex toy!" At that moment, Dodgers emerged on the bridge, holding up a complex piece of machinery.

"Hey Doc... This thing kind of... Fell apart when I was checking the engines... Know what it does?" Malcom, the EYS Cadet, and Sara all stared at him in mounting horror.

"... What?

"Commander! We have gotten a lock on the Seraphim!" Reported a Centurion to the Martian Commander. The small alien gleefully rubbed his hands together.

"Excellent! Inform the fleet that we are to capture it, as a prize for Mars! Onward!" With that, the Martian armada - Six heavy cruisers and a swarm of fighters - moved as one, heading for the Protectorate vessel with weapons drawn and powered.

Uh oh... This doesn't bode well...

R&R!