When Captains Have Nothing Better To Do
Part Four: After-Dinner Conversation
Mayuri's head hurt. Okay he had misgauged the boy's body mass, but he thought that a difference of ten or so millilitres wouldn't provoke so adverse a reaction. So naturally he was surprised when the boy woke up too early spouting gibberish. And naturally he wanted to examine the phenomena before anyone interfered with the subject. So it was only to be expected that he would have tried to move there in a hurry. What was unexpected was that Ukitake, the bastard, would have already realised that the food was intentionally poisoned, by Mayuri, and accordingly stuck his leg out when the twelfth division captain rushed past. The following events involved: a passing waitress, a badly situated chair, the dessert for the evening and being trodden on by Unohana, who was on her way to check on Hitsugaya. (A/N Happy lcarey?) This was the main reason Mayuri's head and assorted other parts now hurt.
Unohana, while always pleased to walk over Mayuri, was now very worried about the tenth division's captain. He was alright, maybe, but he seemed to be acting, a bit out of sorts. After she had taken her sweet time hurting the president of the Shinigami Research Institute, she had gone to the child and found him in a sort of daze. After a glass of water he calmed down a little, but he had this creepy grin on his face. He thanked her, a little too politely, and then excused himself to go to the bathroom, before heading off towards the kitchen. With a sigh she gave up, he'd land on his feet whatever was wrong with him.
Tsukidate Chiyo was panicking in a major way. She was going to be executed for sure. She had just punched out one of the thirteen most powerful Shinigami in soul society. In her state of panic she was so half crazy she thought he might be dead. She was going to be killed if they found him. So she did the only logical thing… she put the unconscious captain in a broom closet, which was a good thing because about half a second after she closed the door she was accosted by the captain of the second division. Thankfully Soi Fong-taicho wasn't overly annoyed by the kitchen girl shrieking. She just asked if the girl had seen Hitsugaya-taicho, since he came this way. Chiyo stuttered her way towards a "no taicho", which unconvincing as it sounded seemed enough for the captain level. It was unfortunate because she hesitated a second which was just long enough for Hitsugaya's unconscious body to come tumbling out of the closet.
"You have three seconds to explain why Hitsugaya is unconscious, why he was in the closet and why you just lied to me." Was the mandate of Soi Fong, hence the smaller girl burst out the answer as fast as she could.
"Iwasjustcleaningupinhereandthenhecameandsaidiwasprettyandtriedtotouchmesoihithimandhefelldownandthenihidhimintheclosetsoyouwouldn'tknowand PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"
Soi Fong restrained herself from laughter. "So you say Hitsugaya tried to make a move on you, and you defended yourself"
"uh-huh" The kitchen hand was almost in tears
"Then there's no problem. I'll take him with me and you can get back to your duties."
Chiyo definitely had had enough excitement for the day so she didn't question the taicho and instead ran all the way home after her shift.
Soi Fong managed to drag Hitsugaya out of that kitchen with a serious face on but the second she reached the main dining room, she burst out laughing so hard her sides hurt and she had to lean against a wall for support. As the other captains inquired to her mirth she felt it her duty to reveal Hitsugaya's dirty little secret.
"Casanova her was just punched out by a kitchen hand after he tried to make a move on her." She said between fits of laughter. The reaction was mixed. Ichimaru and Aizen, though they still had bite wounds from the last time they mocked the Tenth division captain, both cracked up laughing. Kenpachi and Kyoraku, who was now better after being served an 'old mountain cure' by a waitress with assets to rival Matsumoto-fukutaicho, both had a good chuckle. Mayuri wasn't actually paying attention and was confused as to what the joke was. Kuchiki, who hadn't learned his lesson after all, was zoning out again. Unohana, Ukitake, Tousen and Komamura simultaneously sweat-dropped. Since everyone was busy focusing on Hitsugaya, nobody actually noticed that Yamamoto was chuckling quietly.
This is part four in, I hope you all like it. Because of the review count being so high this time, I'm not going to be bitchy by asking for more! Part 5 will be in within a week, and from now on I'll update whenever I can, regardless of reviews. But for the love of God don't stop reviewing. If you want the story to go somewhere you need to tell me in a review or PM, because my psychic abilities just aren't what they used to be. All right, next week Part 5: It's Going to Be a Long Night