Chapter 4: South Park Rules match - Kenny McCormick versus Roxas.
Squidward: 'Now this next match came about as a challenge from Kenny when he debuted on Monday Night Project X the night after Second Night Stand with his South Park teammates. Kenny gained the win in a match over Warrick Brown and everything was going great until the Kingdom Hearts Keybladers sent a message of disrespect by beating the boys down. Roxas singled out Kenny and made his life hell, so DJ Diddy Dog made the stipulation that if the Keybladers could not defeat Team South Park in a 6-man tag team title No.1 contenders' match, Roxas would be forced to face Kenny in South Park Rules.'
Greg: 'Which of course was suggested by Kenny, who wanted to get revenge on Roxas for the weeks of torment. Tonight, Kenny gets his opportunity to go one night without getting killed!'
Squidward: 'Wow. What a crappy segue.'
Megaman: 'Ladies and Gentlemen, your next contest is a South Park Rules match, scheduled for one fall with no time limit. Anything goes and the competitors are limited to one rope break each. Introducing first, from Twilight Town and/or The World That Never Was, representing Disney & Kingdom Hearts, he is ROXAS!'
This Fire Burns by Killswitch Engage hit, bringing out Roxas, dressed in new attire that appeared to be his usual costume all black with silver streaks of barbed wire on it. He also had a black streak of hair at the front. He looted under the ring and retrieved a trashcan full of weapons, waiting patiently for Kenny.
Megaman: 'And his opponent, from South Park, Colorado, he is the self-proclaimed human assassination attempt, KENNY MCCORMICK!'
It Sucks To Be Me by Avenue Q played, which brought out the muffling Kenny, who has been killed 497 times (not accurate) in the history of South Park. He got into the ring and tossed the trashcan of weapons over, just to try and get in Roxas' head. But Roxas remained level-headed as the referee rung the bell. The two circled it up before locking up. Roxas easily tossed McCormick aside but Kenny came bounding back with quick strikes before getting caught in a powerslam predicament that resulted in him getting slammed into the turnbuckles.
Roxas hit a body slam and dropped an elbow. Roxas slammed McCormick off the top buckles and began booting away at McCormick in the corner. Roxas gave McCormick some 'help' out of the corner before hitting a double under hook submission hold, using his size advantage to wear McCormick down. McCormick got feisty and fought out of the hold only to get nailed with a sidewalk slam for a near fall.
Roxas hammered away on the hooded warrior on the mat before booting him around the ring. Roxas hit an Oblivion Brainbuster but missed with a leg drop attempt. McCormick came back with stinging kicks and a double drop kick but only got a one count on the cover attempt. McCormick hit a whisper in the wind he calls the 'Thing I Learned In Hell' but Roxas kicked out.
Kenny went for the twist of fate he calls the Fatesealer but missed the running boot. McCormick slammed him to the mat and hit a big Swanton Bomb for the shockingly quick upset win.
Megaman: 'Here is your winner of the South Park Rules match, KENNY MCCORMICK!'
Roxas couldn't believe that he had been upstaged by Kenny in less than five minutes, so Sora & Riku came down to the ring and attacked Kenny again. Roxas pulled a table with tacks glued to it from under the ring, set it up... and drilled Kenny through it with the Oblivion Brainbuster. Kenny was reduced to mush, blood and guts.
Squidward: 'Oh my god! He killed Kenny!'
Greg: 'YOU BASTARD!'
Then Riku grabbed a microphone.
Riku: 'Eddy, you and your partners are on notice. This is what you can expect unless we get another shot at those titles!'
Then the lights went out and music began to play. The Pretender by Foo Fighters, to be exact. When the lights came back on, Double D & Ed, Eddy's former partners, were standing at the top of the ramp with weapons in hand. The Keybladers were shocked. Double D slowly taped his fists up before gripping a barbed wire baseball bat in his hands and following Ed down to the ring. But before they could get back in the ring, DJ's music hit.
DJ: 'Thank god you guys are back to teach these three pussies a lesson in respect, but unfortunately, the guy who just lost is barred from ringside while we have a sanctioned tag team grudge match, right here... RIGHT NOW!'
Roxas was livid as security escorted him out while the cleanup crew mopped up Kenny's remains. Riku told Double D to bring it as the referee called for the bell.
Spongebob: 'The return of the Eds, here tonight! Who woulda' thought it?'
Squidward: 'Not me. I didn't see it coming!'
The match began quickly when Riku slapped Double D across the face. Riku backed Double D into the ropes with several more slaps, sent him across the ring and knocked him down with a running knee. Riku then ran over to Ed and knocked him from the apron with a straight right hand. As the referee held Ed back in his corner, Riku and Sora double teamed Double D behind the official's back.
Sora made the blind tag and began choking Double D with his boot. Double D was stuck between the bottom rope and Sora's boot for the entire five count before the referee forced the break from Sora. Double D was taken down with a single leg and dragged back to the corner where Sora tagged Riku back in who hopped over the top rope and dropped a knee right across Double D's leg.
Riku hit a Guillotine DDT across the top rope and landed on the apron. As Riku leapt onto the top rope for a flying elbow, Ed met him in mid-air and took him down with an amazing hurricanrana. Both competitors crawled to their corners and Ed was tagged in. He stormed in and began to clean house with clotheslines and dropkicks. But Sora snuck up and hit a low blow leading to the Traverse Town Tragedy (Sliced Bread No.2) but Ed pushed Sora over the top. However, he turned into Riku's Way To The Dawn.
Riku covered, but Double D was there with the save. He then targeted Sora on the outside and executed a picture-perfect Plancha Suicida to the outside, sending Sora flying over the guardrail. Ed quickened the pace by running through several clothesline attempts from Riku, then sliding through his legs before finally landing a Dropkick knocking Riku through the ropes and onto the outside.
Ed then connected with a Baseball slide which sent Riku crashing into Sora. This then broke down into a ringside brawl with Riku & Sora double-teaming Ed before Double D came from the top rope with a Crossbody to take them all out. Back in the ring, Sora caught Ed with a Superkick and then went for the Traverse Town Tragedy but Ed threw Sora over the top rope which also knocked Riku from the apron.
Double D once again jumped from the top and hit Sora with a Dropkick which sent him into Ed, who was waiting with his finishing move, Tim's Awakening (Spinning Torture Rack Backbreaker, think inverted F-5). Double D then positioned Riku on the top rope and blasted him with a big time Clever Idea. Following that up, Double D moved Sora to his feet and popped off the EKO. Ed pushed down on Double D as the smartest Ed pinned Sora for 1-2...
But Riku recovered and broke the pin again! The fans were going absolutely crazy! Riku dragged Double D from the ring and slammed his face against the announce table, while Sora sent Ed into the corner and landed a Stinger Splash. Sora then climbed to the top and connected with a flying clothesline leading to a two-count. The referee soon regained order. Riku attempted to send Double D into the ropes, but the 'Ed with Two Ds' countered and sent Riku into the ropes and into a knee which Ed had raised.
This allowed Double D to take control of the match away from the Keybladers. Ed landed a huge Spinebuster but Sora managed to break the count before the three. Ed thrusted his shoulders into the ribs of Riku. Double D ran across the ring and hit Sora which sent the match into a chaotic mess once again. Ed and Riku brawled at ringside, while Double D took control of Sora in the corner of the ring.
Double D lifted Sora onto the top rope and then climbed up to the second rope. Double D then asked if anyone wanted an EKO, but before he could hit the move, Riku jumped onto the apron and tripped his foot. This allowed Sora to ram Double D's head on the turnbuckle and finally land the Traverse Town Tragedy. He hooked Double D's leg and got the 1-2-3.
Megaman: 'Here are your winners, Sora & Riku, THE KINGDOM HEARTS KEYBLADERS!'
Sora & Riku got the hell outta dodge as Double D & Ed gave chase. The Keybladers hijacked a car in the parking lot, threw out the driver and sped off in it, leaving Double D & Ed on foot.
Ed: 'Awww... they left before I could kick their butt!'
Double D: 'Not to worry, Ed. There's still a lot more butt-kicking to be done!'
Backstage
Milhouse: 'Hi. Milhouse here again, but this time I am joined by two-thirds of the UCW 6-man tag team champions, Eddy and big Homer Simpson. How do you feel about your two best friends returning tonight, Eddy?'
Eddy: 'I think it's great and I have to ask Homer one thing before we go out and whip Team South Park's candy asses. Homer, after this match tonight, can I take the belts back and put them back on my friends' waists?'
Homer: 'You see, I have no problem with that, my friend. I'll gladly give you my belt back... but it's Jinpachi who won't come so easily. But now that's settled: it's time to get to business!'
Eddy: 'Right. Team South Park, you may have done away with the Keybladers to earn this match, but you'll soon wish you'd be back facing them when me, Homer and big Jinpachi are done with you... and that's all we got to say about that!'
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A/N: Well, there's your fourth and fifth matches of Khaos In Kyoto, with Kenny McCormick getting a quick pinfall victory over Roxas in South Park Rules (before his unfortunate 498th demise) and then the other Eds returned to UCW to lose to Riku & Sora in an impromptu matchup. Eddy decides to take the 6-man tag team titles back for his buddies, but is warned that Jinpachi Mishima might not take too well to giving up his championship status! Chapter Five shall feature a requested match by JC619 in which Goofy & Donald Duck, accompanied by Max Goof, shall be taking on the debuting Mas Y Menos of Titans East, accompanied by Daffy Duck (and if you're wondering why Donald is back in Mickey's good graces, you're just gonna' hafta read!). Also, there is an interview with Kamen Rider Zeronos as he prepares for his Monster's Melee match against Blaze, Ghost Rider & Guyver! Later.
DJ Diddy Dog - GUN FORM.
