Chapter 4: Kollektiv

"So you and Chris, huh?"

After the initial shock of what happened finally begins wearing off, Eva can finally think straight and like herself again, she's beginning to find this question particularly grating.

She's standing in the corner of the room, facing the monotonous white wall for some inexplicable reason, not like there was a plant or an awful painting in sight to blame her distraction on. Maybe she wasn't as completely back herself as she thought.

It's one of the Penetrator guys loitering around that approached her. A handful of them had left about half an hour ago and the rest were nonchalantly strewn across the room in various positions. Her own set of friends were scattered around, a few of the guys were conversing with a couple of the Penetrator guys and Noora was messaging someone (most likely William) while seemingly lost in her own little world. Isak and Even were huddled together a decent ways away from the nearest group of people, Even looked slightly unnerved but Isak was holding his hand and speaking in low whispers into his ear. Eskild was engaged in a far too animated conversation with one random Penetrator member who looked confused about whether to feel disturbed or slightly turned on, or disturbed that he was slightly turned on. Magnus, Vilde and the others were huddled together in the opposite corner while Sana surveyed the surrounding with an unnerving poker faced glare.

"Yes, me and Chris," she says, almost like a challenge as she turns to look at him in the end, daring him to say one misogynistic word.

"Oh," he says which was not what Eva was expecting at all. "That's great. He really likes you, you know. I can tell." He adds, and on a scale of one to ten on the list of what Eva absolutely did not expect to hear, that was about a twelve.

"Oh," she says eloquently in return.

"He's a lucky guy," Perpetrator Guy #3 adds and Eva decides that she really should find out his name.

Admittedly of all the times she's found herself having this conversation tonight, this was arguably the sweetest outcome of them all. Who would have thought?

A commotion near the entrance draws her attention and the attention of pretty much everyone in the room.

The door swings open and in comes William, flanked by the Penetrator guys who had left earlier, strolling in like he owns the place and the souls of everyone in the room, which at the moment didn't seem as farfetched at it sounded. William looked both pissed and distraught and guilty at the same time, like his mind couldn't decide which emotion should take precedence. Considering the allegation that the Yakuza guys were involved, Eva couldn't blame William for feeling guilty. Chris and the guys got beat up because William beat up someone first. They were looking for him while he was off wooing Noora on some hilltop with hot chocolate and serenading her with tales of his misspent youth (or so Noora said). Instead the guys paid the price. And now, Chris got attacked while he was off gallivanting in a foreign country wooing hot upper-class British ladies with tea and mini sandwiches (or so Chris said).

Noora approaches William without hesitation and pulls him into a hug when he gets close enough. William melts into Noora's embrace and Eva looks away, feeling like the intimate moment wasn't theirs to infringe on.

She doesn't even know what time it is right now, a glance at the clock tells her it's fucking late o'clock but no one's come out to talk to them or tell them about Chris yet and the waiting feels like hell. Some of the guys look like they're one sheep away from dozing off but forcing themselves to stay awake until they get news about their friend.

"Eva?"

She hears her name and it sounds weird rolling off this unfamiliar tongue. She turns around to face William and he looks terrible. His hair is dishevelled and his eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep or crying or both. Not that she blames him. If she was in his position and Noora or Jonas or someone she cared about got hurt as a result of something she'd done, she'd be wrecked. But even if it wasn't anything she did, the thought of Jonas hurt, the thought of Noora or Sana or Vilde or Chris or even Isak hurt was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She couldn't even imagine what William was feeling. She heard from Noora that Chris was Williams best friend, he'd said so himself, and the more she paid attention to it after she found out, the more she noticed how close they really were, even going beyond Russ and Penetrator stuff. If William was there then Chris was always hanging around somewhere close and vice versa. When William decided not to leave for London—before he then decided to leave for London again—it was Chris he stayed with when he didn't want to go back to his apartment.

Outside their barely-there relationship, Eva didn't really know all that much about Chris, only what Noora had heard from William. In fact Eva felt like she knew William better than she knew Chris. Where were his parents? She'd been over at his place a couple of times but no one was ever around. He never talked about them; he never brought them up in conversation the way she did even though she barely saw her mom during the best of times. The name that was mostly brought up in conversation with Chris was William; William this, William that, William did this and said that and things like that. Eva had asked jokingly whether William was the third wheel in their relationship or was she. Chris had grinned one of his Cheshire cat grins and said with a shrug, "It's just William," like that should have explained everything. Perhaps in his mind it did.

A name calling for Christoffer Schistad from the door William had entered through brought all conversation topics to an abrupt halt. There was a doctor in dark green scrubs that seemed far too stained with splotches of brown to not make everyone's heart simultaneously skip a beat. But right there he stood, calling for Chris, not at all prepared from the rush of teenagers hurrying towards him.

All it takes is a stern word from William to make them all quiet down and take an obedient step back.

The flustered doctor subconsciously wipes away the sweat on his forehead, trying not to show his relief when his eyes locks on William.

"Parents or family of Christoffer Schistad?" he asks again.

William's answer is dismissive and unexpectedly cold. "His parents aren't here. We're his family."

The doctor exhales loudly, running his hand once through his salt and pepper hair. "Christoffer—"

"His name is Chris," William interrupts coolly.

"Well…okay—Chris," the doctor says, bringing his hands up in front of him as if in submission before his tone turns sombre. "Your friend was brought in with a couple fractured ribs, a concussion and a myriad of bruises and lacerations. The immediate concern though was the stab wound to the lower abdomen. The concussion is mild and while not without its risks, it isn't immediately life threating. He fractured three ribs; they're painful and will undoubtedly cause him discomfort for some time but they'll heal up well with time and rest. The remaining injures are just superficial, but the stab wound is much more severe and complicated. All things considered, he's lucky that it didn't hit any major organs or blood vessels, but it nicked a section of his intestines. We've gone in a fixed it and made sure there are no other undetected injuries. He did well in surgery and we're monitoring him in recovery while he wakes up from the anaesthesia. The nurses will be taking him up to the ICU soon so we can keep a close eye on him for at least the next 12 to 24 hours. We need to discuss further treatment with his parents though."

A soft fuck echoes around the room after the doctor finishes speaking and the guys in the back start chattering among themselves. Eva doesn't know what they're saying but judging from their tone alone, it was obviously nothing good. She concentrated on William instead who's still engaged in a conversation with the doctor.

"I'll have his dad call the hospital to take care of the insurance stuff," William says, but doesn't address the doctors comment about the treatment. "I'll deal with the rest. He's going to be okay though, right?"

"Barring any unforeseen complications, your friend should be perfectly fine. He's going to need to be on bed rest for a while and on limited activity for even longer. Also no drinking, drugs and partying would be the ideal," the doctors tacks on the last bit as if he knows exactly who he's dealing with.

Eva can't move. She can't breathe, she can't think. She can only think of the words surgery and major organs and fractured ribs and concussion and imagining Chris on that operating table being cut open and cut into like some biology experiment. She imagines Chris unconscious. Chris bleeding out on the dark corner alone and in pain while Eva was warm and content in the apartment with her closest friends thinking the absolute worst about him. Did he feel like he was dying? Was he scared? He must have been. He must have called William, forgetting that his closest friend was thousands of kilometers away and being unable to ask for help when he answered. Was he conscious when Eva called dozens of times? When William called probably twice that many times? Did he feel alone and abandoned the entire time, or did he realize in the end that all his friends were out there looking for him, worried out of their mind?

Eva feels the warm tears trickle down the side of her cheek and a large hand coming to rest on her shoulder, squeezing it gently and glances over to see Even's kind face smiling comfortingly back at her. "It's going to be okay. He has his friends and the people who care about him here to support him," Even says and Eva knows immediately that his words weren't spoken lightly. His eyes spoke of experience and his own pain and fear and Eva manages a weak smile back at him. It seems to be enough because his smile is beaming.

"Eva."

Another unfamiliar voice calls her name. At this point Eva was fairly certain that most voices calling her name would be unfamiliar voices considering that she only really knew two, maybe three, guys out of everyone in the room.

It's no real surprise to find William walking up to her, he doesn't look any better than when he stepped through the waiting room doors not even an hour ago. The dark circles and bags under his blood shot eyes were too prominent. His hair was tousled yet smooth like he'd been running his fingers nervously through them a thousand times. He walked into the hospital waiting room with nothing on him besides his phone and his wallet meaning that he must have dropped absolutely everything to rush to Chris' side.

Eva felt like she was seeing William and the Penetrators properly for the very first time.

How many hours had it been since the party at Isak's apartment, painting glittery paper mâché dildos and defiling classic Christmas songs with crude vulgarity—which was mostly Eskild. Or rather just Eskild. Was it that long ago that William was back in London doing god only knows what—not Noora, as Chris would argue, and her Chris was still suspiciously absent but without any real cause for concern. It feels like she'd spent all her energy worrying the night away and she realized that if it hadn't been for the phone call from William, they would still be back at the apartment being merry and jolly, getting drunk and having fun and she's be too pissed at Chris standing her up to even consider the possibility that he was somewhere out there in the elements, alone and bleeding to death on the cold unforgiving pavement.

An involuntary shiver runs through her spine at the thought.

But they weren't back at the apartment partying. The Penetrators weren't with their hook up girls at the dance party drinking themselves into the ground. William wasn't back in London, thinking up excuses and dodging calls from Noora which was exactly what he spent his days doing according to her. Even Jonas who had every reason to hate both her and Chris was there, more so than that he'd actually ventured out into the cold with her to look for him because she was worried. Same with Isak and Even, the latter barely knew her and didn't know Chris at all. None of her friends really knew anything about Chris. He was only that hot guy who makes out with Eva sometimes—Eskilds' words—or Penetrator Chris or William's fuckboy friend or the guy who got punched in the face by those Yakuza dudes while Noora was off seducing William thru the sexiness of her gigantic beige sweater and comfortable loafers—also Eskilds' words. Hell, a glance around the room even showed Linn there. And as far as Eva knew Linn never left the apartment.

Sometimes Eva thinks her internal monologue gets in the way of her real life functionality because William's standing right in front of her and she didn't even remember him walking up.

"I talked to the doctor and he said one or two people can go see him for a bit." Eva's thinks William is waiting for some sort of response but she's pretty sure she didn't hear a question anywhere in there.

"O-kay?"

Eva sympathized with William having to deal with her at that moment, especially considering that he looked like crap and was probably feeling the emotional consistency of crap; it was his best friend there in the hospital. He has far too much patience dealing with people than anyone ever gave him credit for.

"Do you want to come with me?" he says, enunciating each word deliberately making sure she actually understood him this time.

"Are you sure? I mean his friends are—"

"I'm sure," William says without hesitation. "I know he'd want you there."

A warm feeling creeps up on Eva at his words and she just nods, not trusting herself with actual words.

She feels William's strong arm circle her shoulders as he leads her towards the door where the doctor who was looking slightly more nervous than he did a minute ago was standing waiting.

"Tell Chris we're all here for him," of the Penetrator guys yells out from the crowd, eliciting a murmur of agreement from the rest. William nods but says nothing.

"We'll be right here waiting for you okay?" A softer voice speaks, and Eva turns to look at Noora who's giving her a look that's half sympathetic and half assurance. Eva appreciates it more that she can articulate at the moment.

"Remember your guru's words, Eva. Where there's a house in the heart there's another heart—"

"Shut up, guru!" Everyone yells simultaneously.

"You need to stop murdering that proverb, Eskild. Jesus Fucking Christ." Eva doesn't think she's ever heard Linn raise her voice before. But there's obviously a first time for everything.

She leaves the safety of the waiting room and the comforting presence of her friends and ventures out into the cold, unfeeling hallway of the hospital with William at her side, holding her close almost as if it was her presence being the comfort for him instead of the other way around. Eva doesn't mind, it makes her feel less of a burden and less like everyone around is shouldering her emotional weight. She feels useful for the first time that night. She circles her own arm around Williams' waist and it jerks him out of whatever thoughts were currently plaguing his mind. The fear in his gaze is palpable and the corner of his eyes is damp with suppressed tears. Looking at William at that moment, seeing the real William for the first time, Eva thinks she can see exactly what made Noora fall so hopelessly in love with this person.

"He's going to be okay," she hears herself say, echoing the words she's been told too many times that night. She thinks that maybe no one has said those words to William yet, because he's supposed to be the strong one, the one holding it together. His breath hitches and he quickly looks away. "What happened wasn't your fault," she adds and she sees the exact moment William relinquishes control and his face just crumbles. Eva stops them in their tracks and pulls William into a much needed hug. William reciprocates without hesitation, burying his face in her shoulder, his arms encircled around her waist holding onto her like a lifeline. Eva pretends not to notice the way his shoulders shake and the sound of hitched sobs as he cries softly into the crook of her neck.

She was okay with this, being the one offering comfort. With everyone else she understands their willingness to offer her comfort, because Chris means the most to her. But here, at this moment, in this empty hallway with its monotonous white walls, Eva is all too willing to offer William the comfort he needs because she knows that Chris means absolutely everything to him.