Disclaimer: All I own are my thoughts, and a copy of Kingdom Hearts 1 & 2 for PS2... as well as my laptop.
.Pour Voir Que Tout Est À Refaire.
"Just ignore my cousin's room, please." Sora had told me.
Up until that day I had not even met his cousin, let alone his family.
Sora's mother had died upon birth. By age thirteen, Sora's father commited suicide.
Roxas was only eleven when his parents took Sora in as their own.
Sora was a junior in highschool, suffering from something people like to stick a name to as jealousy. He had been dating Riku Mitsori, a senior at his highschool, for nearly two years. That is until, Riku got bored of being with Sora.
And so we have him. Poor, heartbroken Sora with a taste of revenge on his lips.
I met him initially through Riku, back when I was still a highschooler, and since then I have spoken to Sora a bit. Just not all that often.
He really didn't strike me as anything out of the ordinary.
A pretty face, a good fuck.
I stuck with him for only four months. One month past the day I met Roxas.
Sora's cousin.
The fucked up highschool freshman.
I remember passing by the room, noticing the blackness of the room which didn't bother me. Then I saw a bright red swastika painted upon the ceiling.
Swear words practically carved into the walls. White words upon a black canvas. The kid was staring dolefully at his computer screen, set up in some sort of chatroom. He moved his wrist temporarily to change the song and I took note of a long, healing scar running his arm.
Music blaring from pathetic speakers.
But on Sora walked, so I followed.
Roxas had to keep his door open after the incident which I had noticed earlier upon first seeing him. Such Sora told me, but he was trusted enough to shut his door. Aside from the fact that the parents knew what Sora did most the time when Riku came by.
I came by Sora's house two more times in the following week, each time, I very rarely saw Roxas. Always in his room, on his computer or on his bed, music playing on, or out in the kitchen picking up some food.
By the third time, I finally saw the boy's face.
I had gone to the restroom while with Sora, and I was walking back down the hallway, passing his cousin's room. Roxas and I nearly collided at the doorway, but we had both stopped short.
Short of a possibly bloody nose and a very sore chest.
His eyes were wide, and apparently, he disliked being social.
Bright, glass blue eyes.
I quickly eyed him up, he looked similar to Sora in a few ways, though his facial structure and hair color were off. He glared at me as if I had just set his computer on fire.
He pushed past me, but I grabbed his wrist.
"You know," I began in a low whisper, "you've gotta be more careful when you shave. You must have quite terrible aim to reach your arm there."
He wasn't very strong. He was still quite young and I was at least a good foot taller than him, but I let him push me against the wall. He didn't know where to go from there, I realized after he stayed there, halfway pinning my arms to the wall behind me.
His eyes focused angrily at my chest, I tried not to laugh.
Key word there being "tried."
I snickered and he quickly walked away, disgust plainly shown on his pretty face. And yet, as I continued on into Sora's room, I felt eyes glaring after me upon my back. He interested me.
When I did glance back, his eyes flashed angrily at me. I just smirked.
I walked in on Sora sitting in his chair at his laptop.
He didn't move when I came in, he just sat there, glaze-eyed at the screen.
I noticed the screen name that had popped up because I talked to the same guy. Although apparently, neither of us had been talking to each other in a while.
Riku was trying to make amends with this ordinary boy.
There was just something Riku had caught that I had clearly missed.
I came over a few more times, but Sora was obviously troubled, no matter how many times he tried to deny it.
One day, I walked down the the kitchen to grab a drink when Riku called Sora's cell phone.
I let him have the private call he needed. Roxas was downstairs then.
Perhaps he was asleep, but I couldn't tell, his arm was over his eyes as he lay sprawled out upon the couch.
I walked as quietly as I could around to his side, leaning down.
"Hey."
I hadn't bothered to lower my voice and he jumped. Asleep or not, he was awake now. "Sora's talking to his lover-boy, so I figured I would come down and talk to you! It looks like you're in need of company."
I grinned at him, but I received a growl instead.
"Go. Away."
He sat up immediately when I didn't move. I kept a goofy grin on my face when he continued to glare at me. I followed behind him as he stomped upstairs to his room.
He stopped as he reached his door and turned sharply to me, glaring death threats at me. I was enjoying myself, he just needed a smile. He pushed all of his weight into me, forcing me against the wall again.
And again I helped him.
"Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't touch me. I. Hate. You."
I smirked at his loving comment and simply mumbled, "Whatever."
It kinda blurred after then. Blurry until he was sitting on top of me on his bed.
Grinding into me with purpose. I held his hips, guiding him even when he knew what he was doing.
It showed.
"I hate you." He breathed against my mouth, his blue eyes glared deeply into mine.
I kissed him as ferociously as he. "I know."
Roxas didn't reply, but he didn't need to, I rocked him roughly against my jeans and spoke again. "I want you."
It's not like I was expecting Roxas to actually give himself over to me that night.
Later I found out why he did so easily.
From then on, my visits over to that house were no longer as a cause to my boyfriend status with Sora.
Sora had been so consumed by his Riku complex that he didn't realize I was over half of the times that I was. Not to mention pounding into his younger cousin more often than not.
Roxas surprised me when he tentatively held my hand.
This wasn't our first date. In reality, it was the fifth in over a month.
Considering that we had sex more nights than not.. he moved quite slowly with the familiarity of dating.
He was shy, nervous, and blushing the night I kissed his forehead. After than night, I refused to fuck him for a while... that is until he could kiss me on his own.
Pederasty.
Roxas was glad the morning Sora's father died.
No more sleep-over nights at Sora's house where he would sleep only until two in the morning.. to be woken up. Awake until four... sometimes five in the morning.
No more soreness... no more... rape.
Roxas vividly remembered the first night that the sick bastard began.
And he would never forget it.
"Here, Roxas.. let's go into the kitchen, we can eat some ice cream if you'd want."
Roxas, a sleepy-eyed nine-year-old stiffled back a quiet yawn as he obediently followed Adam into the kitchen.
"Do you want to know something that Sora doesn't know? It will be just between us, our little secret, ok?"
Roxas nodded, intrigued, eyes bright and wide with young wonder.
Their 'secret' was no more than Adam teaching Roxas to give him a hand job.
Roxas gagged many times while learning how to blow, and still did on occasion, stating on how sour the white stuff tasted.
Adam smiled, kissing Roxas on the mouth briskly, and when Roxas asked why he did so, Adam made up some bullshit reason.
"I think of you as family, Roxas, and I kiss my family.."
Too young of an age to argue that he never kissed Sora that way, or that he didn't feel right, Roxas was stuck.
Slowly, Adam began to bring Roxas into his bedroom while Sora slept soundly.
He would have the boy take off his clothes, and he taught Roxas how to please himself.
Then, Adam had Roxas take his clothes off after several months of experiments.
"It's our secret, right Roxas?"
Roxas smiled, though his confidence in that smile had since long ago been burnt out.
"Roxas, kiss me."
For a year or so, Adam had been satisfied. Now, he wanted more.
"If you're quiet about this, I'll give you some money so you and Sora can go see that new movie together tomorrow." Bribing him with money, with anything he could, Roxas allowed the ministrations to continue.
He knew if he followed instructions, he would be rewarded.
Besides, Adam always liked Roxas better than Sora.
He told him that often.
When Roxas was first penetrated, first soiled, he realized that perhaps... perhaps Adam had been lying.
"Shh... keep quiet Roxas... it won't hurt much longer.."
Oh, but it hurt.
When Roxas finally found his voice one night while he was up again, Adam got mad.
The bruises, Adam told him, would not show so long as he didn't tell anyone.
That night, it hurt worse than normal, and Adam thrust inside him fast, hard, and violently.
Months passed, and soon, Roxas perfected fucking Adam. Perfected pleasing Adam.
So that he would stay his favorite... he didn't want to be on his bad side... ever again.
Adam had a video recorder one night.
"Let's record this night, ok Roxas?"
Roxas nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat as a swell of nervousness fell upon him.
Adam smiled warmly, "You're such a good boy, Roxas. Come here and sit on my lap."
Roxas watched where Adam stashed the tape when his fun was over with.
In fifth grade, the sex education video the schools showed finally snapped Roxas out of it.
He didn't tell anyone at first. But he never told Sora, and never would.
Because still... Adam always liked Roxas better.
Later on, that tape would cause Adam to kill himself.
Adam, Sora's father... and Sadie, the mother he never met... dead.
Eventually, Roxas did kiss me, and I refused sex that night as well. Somehow, a distraught and frustrated Roxas was so much better to be around. A little fucked up? I'm guilty. Handcuff me, please.
Call it a little bit like makeup sex, but the night after, the sex was just that fucking good. He still wouldn't kiss me in front of Sora, and he slapped my hand if I even tried to show my affection publicly by holding his hand. I got away with a lot at the movie theather where it was so dark, I was able to coax him into letting me kiss him, nothing else.
Just holding hands and kissing. Cheesy, and yes, degrading back to first dates rules, but since we had all but skipped the step in the initial month, I didn't really care. I continued to pester him around Sora. Coming up behind Roxas as Sora cooked dinner while the parents were at work, grinding my crotch into his ass as I kept up a friendly chatter with Sora.
Roxas would pout, obviously distracted by my ministrations too much to remember that Sora was in the kitchen.
We would sneak down at night when everyone was asleep to the kitchen. At least, mostly asleep, an occasional moan told me that Riku had made amends with Sora. Because the moan was definitely not Sora's. I would shove Roxas down onto the kitchen table, suck him off, while forcing him to be quiet so we wouldn't get caught.
It's not like I cared, but his parents wouldn't approve of the age gap. It was quite nearly illegal as it was.
I would tease him endlessly, leaving ghostly touches to his twitching errection, and he would squirm, throwing his head back. I know that he wanted to fuck, but the foreplay is the best part of sex. Roxas, becoming less and less demanding with wanting sex everytime we got intimate, made it easier for me to get him to smile.
To smile when he moaned my name the times we did fuck.
Author's Commentary:
I excuse myself here, and step out of the fire-range for I admit, I needed to stop writing. Honestly, I wrote about three pages of this thing in two hours... thought I was on a roll... then I just stopped.
But I will not leave you hanging, I'm quite embarrassed now that I realize that this is the first fiction I've posted since... a long time ago. I apologize, but I really cannot explain myself. I'm just lazy and picky.
Now, I may add a new chapter to this collection in a continuation. I will inform you all of the addition if and when it comes! (If indeedy.) And to any questions, I'm sorry if I never got around to them, it's been so long that I've forgotten all about them!!
For all of you who are uneducated on the subject of pederasty, it is a term literally meaning 'boy-love'.
Except this is the relationship between an adolescent boy and a male relative who is not in the immediate family of the boy.
It was a custom practiced by many cultures back in the day. (Ancient Greece, etc.)
And the title, Pour Voir Que Tout Est À Refaire is generally translated to mean To See That Everything Is To Be Redone. It's from a song, Chaque Seconde, by Kyo, an amazing French band. I say generally, because I was too lazy to translate it myself. Go figure.
Thank you all so much for reading!!
( 08/01/08 )