A/N: Hello all! Thank you to all who read and reviewed the last chapter. Also, a big thank you to my pre-reader/beta team Ella and Annette. I couldn't have done this without their insight, helpful tips and for listening to me rant when a chapter doesn't go right.
Another thank you goes to my friend Beckie for her support. :)
SM owns everything Twilight.
Chapter four-
Charlie and I are standing in an uncomfortable silence as Alice waits in front of me, tapping her foot, blocking my only exit. Her hard expression sends shivers through my body, reminding me that Alice hardly ever got pissed off but when she did, she was a force to be reckoned with.
Charlie shifts nervously as I glare at him.
Yeah, I would be nervous too, if I were you.
I asked him not to let her in and what does he do? He lets her in. I don't care if Charlie is immune to Alice's charms, my wishes should come first.
"I'll just let you two catch up," Charlie says, before he all but runs from the room.
Coward. My mind hisses as he leaves me alone with the hellion known as Alice Cullen.
Alice and I face each other, looking like we're in a stand-off. I shift Adam on my hip and he giggles unexpectedly. This breaks Alice's stare and she looks at him softly. Hopefully her anger will fade the longer she's in the same room with her nephew.
Yeah, I wouldn't count on that.
Slowly, she moves towards me. I tense and hold my son a little tighter against me with each step she takes. When she's in front of me, she looks at Adam with a small smile.
"He looks just like Edward."
"I know," I whisper, looking at him and kissing his forehead. No one had to tell me how much my baby looked like his father. I could see it in his every action and look. It was painful to see sometimes, but nothing would make me love him any less.
"Why did you leave Bella?" Alice asked with tears and anger in her voice.
"It's complicated," I reply, not wanting to get into it. Alice and Edward were so close and I have a feeling they still are, since she's here. No matter how much I despise Edward for what he did to me, I don't want to ruin the relationship he has with Alice. She doesn't deserve it.
"Then un-complicate it, Bella."
I tear my eyes from Adam and peer over at Alice. Her hands are balled into fists at her sides and her jaw is clenched tight as her narrowed hazel eyes stare at me with contempt.
As I look at my former best friend my eyes well with tears; she is glaring at me with hate.
"I can't."
"You can and you will. I am not leaving this house until I get some answers."
"I'll have Charlie throw you out," I tell her meekly, knowing that nothing will stop her from getting answers now that she's here.
Alice scoffs. "Please. All I have to do is bat my eyelashes and bring out 'the puppy dog face' and he'll melt."
"I'll call the police," I say quietly, not really meaning it.
"Good," she responds with a raised eyebrow. "When they get here I'll be sure to tell them that you didn't inform my brother he had a child and that baby will be taken from you so fast your head will spin."
My heart lurches in my chest and my palms sweat profusely, making it difficult to keep my grip on Adam. My fears are slowly being realized.
She wouldn't have them take away my baby, would she? One look at her face tells me she' would and I know that in order to keep my baby with me, I'll have to tell her something
"I did tell Edward about the baby. When I did, harsh words were exchanged as well as a few horrible actions and I left."
Alice's hard look fades a little as she stares at me, trying to determine if I'm telling the truth. When I keep my gaze locked on hers, the hatred fades a little more.
"What was said?"
"Alice, I can't-" I start but she interrupts me.
"I'm trying to understand what happened here, okay? One minute you two are in love and happy, and the next you're gone and Edward is a wreck. What happened? Please tell me," she begs.
Before I can say anything, her eyes widen. "You said you told him about the baby?"
I nod reluctantly, wondering where she's going with this. Not a second passes before her eyes narrow again.
"Did he say something to you? He did, didn't he? What did he say?"
"It's not important."
"Of course it is! You tell me that you told Edward about the baby and words were exchanged, then you left. I know he said something stupid."
I nod, not having the strength to lie to her anymore. "It was both of us, Ali."
"Oh sweetie," Alice says in a gentle voice. A few tears fall from my eyes as I remember the last moments of my fight with Edward.
"I want it gone, Isabella. I will not be a part of this."
"Screw you, Edward! I don't want you to be a part of my child's life anyway!"
She places her arm around my waist, bringing me from my memory. I feel her leading me to the couch where I sit down with Adam in my lap. Alice sits next to me looking confused.
My breathing comes in ragged gasps and I think I hear my dad enter the room, but I can't tell for sure over the sobs which have grown louder during the short trip to the couch. Adam's weight disappears and for a tiny moment I panic.
I look up and see my father taking Adam out of the room. He looks back over his grandfather's shoulder with confused emerald eyes.
My sobs don't stop as Alice makes soothing sounds in my ear, trying to calm me. The emotions from these past few weeks have taken their toll and I break down completely.
A sharp pain shoots through my chest the longer I cry, making me buckle over, sobbing and dry heaving over my knees. I feel Alice's small hands rubbing my back and hear her soothing voice trying to calm me down.
After a few minutes, I quiet down with only a few hiccups and stray tears remaining. I sit up slowly and rest my head on the back of the couch, so tired after my crying fit.
I don't know what to say to Alice especially after what I've told her and how I've broken down; but Alice being Alice, doesn't need me to say anything to start talking.
"When I heard that you were back in town, I was so angry with you. I was ready to rip you to pieces and hurt you the way you hurt my brother and me, but when I saw you and that baby, I knew there had to be a good reason you left. Don't get me wrong, I was still pretty pissed at you, but I knew deep down there was a good reason."
"How?" I asked my voice cracking.
"You're not a mean person, Bella. You couldn't be mean if you tried. Once I saw that mini-Edward, I knew that something bad had to have happened for you to leave with no word."
"Sorry." I say, feeling guilty that I didn't confide in her back then.
"Saying sorry doesn't erase the past, so there is no use in saying it. Besides, I know you feel bad for leaving like you did."
"How?"
"I can see it in your eyes, Bella. Pure, raw pain."
Silence looms over us. Is my pain that visible to an outsider? I thought I was hiding it so well.
After a moment, her expression brightens slightly, telling me that we're going to steer away from this topic for now. "So, you have a baby."
"Yeah. Adam Masen," I answer her, smiling.
"Aw, what a cute name! He'll be two soon, right?"
"In a few months."
She beams at me and demands details of the first two years of his life. I tell her about his first steps,-falls and all-and how he has had difficulty speaking recently. She expresses concern for her new found nephew and I quickly explain Charlie's theory. While she thinks it a stretch, she tells me that stranger things have happened and I should try it.
"What about you?"
"Well," she starts, bouncing around on the couch with excitement. "Jasper and I are engaged!"
When she squealed this, it sort of reminded me of Adam when he got excited. A smile lit up my face as I realized that he did inherit other traits from his family besides his father.
Alice shoves a huge diamond ring in my face, causing me to jerk back. Now that it isn't going to poke my eye out, I study it more carefully. The ring sparkles in the muted light of living room and as I admire it, I feel a surge of happiness for my friend.
"I'm so happy for you. How did he propose? When did he propose?"
"He proposed on New Year's. I know, it's cliché, but I loved it! He kissed me at midnight and asked me what my resolutions were and I gave him a few. When I asked for his, he said, 'I'm not going to waste anymore time.' Then, he proposed!"
I laughed, her happy mood rubbing off on me. "Why did he say that?"
At my question, she clears her throat and a haunted look comes over her face. "Well, um… a few weeks before that, Jasper had been having a lot of headaches and when the doctors did a scan to see what was wrong, they found a shadow on his scan. They told him it might be a tumor. He thought he was going to die. I thought he was going to die."
"Ali, I'm so sorry I wasn't here." I pull her into my arms and she cries silently for a moment before she clears her throat again and sits up. She clears her face of her tears and the sadness that was once there is gone now.
As I watch a small smile lights up her face. I'm glad that she still doesn't let anything get her down for very long.
"Anyway, when they did the surgery, they found that the tumor was benign and he was going to be okay."
"I'm so glad," I tell her, hugging her.
"Me too," she beams.
We part from our hug after a moment and she sits back and stares at me before launching into what college life is like for her so far.
"I'm going to school in Port Angeles and Seattle. I know the commute is a killer, but I don't want to leave home and Jasper. Anyway, I'm in a design program, learning all about clothes! This class is my heaven!" she exclaims with a huge grin.
I'm happy that she's going after her dreams, but deep down, I wish it was me that was working towards fulfilling my dreams. Once I think of Adam though, I know that I can't regret him.
"What about everyone else?"
"Well, mom is still decorating homes, although she only does it part time now. She hired a bunch of people to work for her, so she's either at the office or at home," she says, bringing back memories of Esme's love for decorating. "Dad is still chief at the hospital, but he cut his hours down. It's nice to have him around."
"Are they mad at me?" I interrupt, fearful of her answer. I thought of Esme as my mother and Carlisle as a second father. I couldn't bear the thought of them being upset with me, but I know I would deserve it for abandoning them like I did.
"They were distraught when you left, I'm not going to lie. When Edward told us you were back in town they were pretty happy though. I don't know how they're going to react to this other news of yours though," she tells me with a raised eyebrow. I look away from her as she finishes, knowing that she's referring to Adam.
"Emmett and Rosalie got married a year ago when Rose had a pregnancy scare." Alice continues, taking the subject away from her parents.
My eyes widen. "What happened?"
Alice waves her hand dismissively, rolling her eyes a little bit. "You know Rosalie, over dramatic as usual. She missed one period and thought she was pregnant. For three days she ranted and yelled at Emmett, telling him that he better marry her because her child wasn't going to be born out of wedlock." She sighs, obviously remembering when it happened.
I wish I could have been there. I shake my head, taking back the thought. I made my decision. I had to live with all of the consequences.
"Anyway," she continues. "Emmett caved and they flew down to Vegas and got married. On their wedding night, what happens? Rose finds she isn't pregnant. They came back from Vegas, telling us that they aren't expecting and we asked them if they were going to stay married and they just said, 'Why not? We were going to get married anyway.'
Jasper is studying at school in Port Angeles to become a physical therapist. He wants to help people heal."
I sit back, thinking about everything that I missed. It saddens me that I missed so much and I wish I could go back in time and change things. Maybe I could have had my best friend's support and been involved in her life these past two years. Before I can wallow any more, Alice's voice breaks through.
"Anyway, enough about that. What about you? What have you been doing?"
I shrug, a little embarrassed. "There isn't much to tell. I had Adam, I worked. I came home after I lost my job."
We sit in silence before I speak again. Hearing about everyone makes me wonder about the one person she left out. I mentally question if she knows anything about Edward's lack of memory. If anyone would know, it would be Alice. From past experience, she knows everything about everything all of the time.
Taking a deep breath, I open my mouth and hope that she has the answers I'm looking for.
"What about …Edward?"
"He was a mess," Alice says automatically, obviously knowing that I was going to ask about him. "He didn't eat, he didn't sleep, he just …looked for you. At first he thought it wasn't real, that he was in some sort of nightmare….When he realized that it was real he was so worried about you. He was afraid to leave the house, because he knew that if you came back, that's where you would go. After you'd been gone three days, we asked him what happened between the two of you and he just shut down. He said he didn't know and left. We didn't see him for a while after that. Hell, we still don't see him on a regular basis. Mom has to call and threaten him to get him to come over."
I sit still, in shock. Why did Edward not remember and why is he acting like this? He was the one who said awful things to me. Why would he act like a broken person when I was just following his directions?
"Please tell me what happened, Bella."
"Alice," I say in a warning voice. She backs off and she continues to speak.
"After we tried to talk to him about what happened, he moved out and got his own place. When Mom forced him to come over, he avoided us but spoke when spoken to. The only person he didn't talk to was Emmett. He avoids Em like the plague. I asked Edward why he does that and he tells me to ask him. Do you anything about that?"
I shake my head in the negative and Alice deflates, obviously thinking I knew something about it.
Before I can process all of what she's told me, Alice looks over at me, slightly pleading.
"Can I see my nephew?"
I nod happily and get up to go looking for Adam. Before I can leave the room, Charlie appears with my son and his rabbit. I raise an eyebrow at him in question and he shrugs, not acknowledging the fact that he was eavesdropping.
Wordlessly, he hands Adam over and I walk over to Alice and sit back down next to her. I situate Adam on my lap so he faces his aunt. Alice smiles brightly at him and Adam stares at her curiously. I can't help but laugh at their first interaction. Behind me, a flash goes off and I see Charlie holding a camera. His face is slightly red from embarrassment and he leaves the room quickly.
"Hello, Adam." Alice says quietly.
She reaches forward to touch him, but he shies away from her, burying his head in my side. Alice looks up at me, hurt coloring her eyes.
"He's shy around some people."
Her eyes light up in understanding before she gently touches his hand. At feeling her touch, his head pops up and he looks at her blankly.
"You better get used to me, mister. I'm your Auntie Alice and I love you!" she tells him, quickly kissing his cheek.
He looks a little shocked by the sudden movement, but a small smile graces his face and a little hand reaches toward her. Alice beams at her nephew before reaching forward. Just before her hands make contact with him, she looks up at me, silently asking permission. I give her a small nod and she carefully takes Adam and places him in her lap.
She sits with him a little awkwardly, obviously never having interacted with a baby before. She bounces him a little on her knee and when he smiles hugely, Alice bounces him more, making different noises every now and then.
Adam's face is alight with joy and pleasure and I feel a small burden lift from my shoulders, knowing that he's finally spending time with his family.
After a few minutes, Alice looks at her watch and frowns.
"I wish I could stay longer, but I better get going. Edward knew that I would go looking for you and if he finds out that I didn't listen to him, there will hell to pay."
She hands Adam back to me and jumps up, pulling me with her as she glides to the door. When we reach the front door, she turns to me.
"I'm still a little hurt that you didn't talk to me before you left, Bella. I know that you need to work out your issues with Edward. That should come before anything. I just hope that you confide in me once you do. As your best friend, I think I deserve to know."
"I know, Alice. Can you ever forgive me?"
My eyes begin to swim with tears as I wait for her response.
"A part of me has, but another part is still ticked. Look, I'm not going to be mean and ignore you, but I'm not going to be able to trust you for a while, okay? I have to know that you won't run off and leave me again."
I nod. I understand what she means. If I were her, I wouldn't trust me either.
Alice pulls me in for a hug, along with Adam, and squeezes us tightly.
"No matter how upset I am, I will always love you, Bella. You're my sister."
I nod again, sighing quietly with relief. Knowing that Alice still loved me took a little more of the weight off my shoulders. She pulls away from me and smiles slightly before turning towards the door again. Just as she reaches to open it, a car's brakes slam outside and both mine and Alice's eyes widen. A feeling of dread encloses us as heavy footsteps stomp up to the door before a pounding starts.
"Alice! I know you're in there!" Edward's angry voice rings out. "Your car is in the driveway! Come out here! I told you to stay out of it!"
"You didn't park behind the house?" I hiss at her.
"I was in a hurry to find you and beat the crap out of you for leaving!" She hisses back.
"What is wrong with that boy?" Charlie asks, hurriedly coming into the room. "Has he gone insane? Does he remember who lives here and who still has a gun?"
Alice chuckles. "He probably has gone insane."
Edward keeps pounding on the door, yelling that Alice had better come outside. Alice squares her shoulders and shoots me an apologetic glance before she opens the door. I stand frozen in the entryway as Edward becomes visible.
"Mary Alice Cullen," Edward growls, stepping forward into the house. "You promised me you would stay out of this! This is between me and Bella! What were you thinking coming here?"
As he says my name, I take a step back, hoping to blend into the wall. At my small movement, Edward's head snaps up and his eyes widen and then narrow.
"You lied to me!" He shouts, pointing a finger at me. "You told me you weren't staying here!"
Edward steps around Alice and she grabs his arm to pull him back but he shrugs her off and continues toward me. Charlie steps in front of me and places his hands on Edward's shoulders.
"You better watch yourself, boy."
"Why did you lie to me?" Edward asks, ignoring Charlie.
I open my mouth to answer, but I'm interrupted as Adam starts to wail. My heart thunders in my chest as Edward looks down at Adam with a stunned expression. I shush and bounce Adam lightly, hoping he quiets down. The more I try to soothe him however, the louder he screams.
Charlie turns to see if he can help calm him. When he moves, Edward strides forward, basically pushing Charlie out of the way. I swallow thickly as I look at Edward apprehensively.
His eyes are glued to Adam, taking in everything about the crying infant in my arms. Slowly, he reaches toward Adam and gently touches his head, running his fingers through his messy hair.
With the gentle touch, Adam quiets down and looks up at his father for the first time. Edward gasps as he sees his eyes.
Slowly, Edward turns toward me, his skin paler than normal and his eyes fill with unshed tears. I can't tell whether he's angry or sad and I hold my breath as he opens his mouth to speak.
"I didn't think it was real. I didn't think our fight was real. It was real wasn't it?"
I nod my head, watching Edward closely. Did he think he imagined our fight? Sure, it was true that Edward and I never had huge fights, but to think he imagined it all was crazy.
I wanted to ask him why he thought he imagined it, but my mouth wouldn't cooperate. It remained shut and silent as I stared at Edward, waiting to see what he would do next.
As it turns out, I don't have to wait long. As I watch in silence Edward rubs his palms over his eyes harshly and clenches his jaw. He removes his hands from his eyes, sparing one last look at Adam and myself before bolting from the house and driving off.
Alice runs out onto the porch and screams after him in vain, trying to bring him back. Of course, he's pulled out of the driveway before he can hear her, so she's screaming at the dust cloud he's left behind. Charlie goes out to try and bring her inside before the neighbors can call the police, while I stand rooted in the same spot, frozen with shock.
I want to slap myself for not running when I heard Edward at the door and I want to slap myself for holding onto the tiny bit of hope that somewhere deep down, Edward loved his son, despite what he had said.
But now that he had seen his flesh and blood and confirmed what he said to me two years ago, I belatedly realize that I should have let go of that hope the moment I left him.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! See you next week!