Author note: Why didn't anyone tell me I labeled the last chapter wrong? This is the real chapter four. Not the last one. I'll fix that one shortly. The last time I tried to fix a chapter, I messed it up and had to reload the whole story. So just pretend it was chapter three, which it was. Happy reading!
Chapter Four – Plans Mean Nothing
Willow could feel the pressure from all the witches close in on her as she had entered the estate. It threatened to consume her whole. It was the same feeling she had the last time she was here. Giles had brought her to the Wicca stronghold the first time, trying to help her heal. Now she didn't have him to anchor her. He was the last thing she needed as an anchor right at that moment.
"How are you, my dear?" Gertrude asked her as she handed Willow a soothing drink.
"Here. That's about all I can deal with right now," she answered shakily.
Gertrude frowned at her a little, standing still directly in front of her. Willow squirmed in her chair, like she was going to be tested and be found wanting.
"Eyes aren't black. I'd say that was progress," Spike chimed in.
Spike hadn't left her side the whole time. It kind of weirded her out a little, but he seemed genuine.
"Yes, William, I'd say that was progress. Although your reluctance at entering was a bit surprising."
The air was crushing her lungs, but she wouldn't confess to that. Breathing deeply, Willow closed her eyes and concentrated on just making it through the next minute, even the next second.
"If you would like me to help you, I can do that. Your distress is apparent, Willow."
"Yeah, well, Rupert tried to let loose on her. That would distress anyone. You gonna do some kind of exorcism on the man?"
Gertrude shot an annoying glare Spike's way, but didn't say anything else.
"I just need time," Willow squeaked out.
"Indeed you do. But if something doesn't happen shortly, I'm afraid we will have to put you . . . ," Gertrude explained.
"No, no. Do whatever. I don't wanna go there."
"What's going on?" Spike inquired.
He got up to put himself between the witch and Willow. Willow wanted to tell him that it was necessary. Or he wouldn't be able to defend her even if he wanted to, since Gertrude was very powerful.
"Spike, it's OK. She's just trying to help," Willow told him, starting to pant a little.
"You feel the pull. The dark trying to pull you in. Relax, Willow. We are here to help you."
Gertrude's sing-song voice did calm her a little. The pressure of Spike's hand on her shoulder helped a little too. The door opened to reveal five more witches, one carrying supplies.
"I'm so sorry," Willow cried.
"Not your fault," Spike whispered in her ear. "Damn Ethan Rayne. We'll catch him, little one. Don't you worry. Just let them help you."
"Don't leave," Willow said to him as he released her shoulder.
"He can stay, if that's what you would like," Gertrude answered as she readied the spell to ward off the darkness trying to envelope her. "He just might help ground you now that Mr. Giles is not able to."
She felt Spike's reassuring grip back on her shoulder, making her breathe a little better.
"Just get it over with," Willow spoke out loud, voice becoming a little screechy.
The witches circled around her, chanting a spell to help her release the demon that plagued her, that Ethan had somehow reawakened in her. At one point, it felt like her heart had stopped beating, it constricted so severely. Then it all came rushing back, lifting the weight off of her, making her feel free again. She'd been crying through the whole thing, tears falling fast and furiously, making the front of her clothes damp.
When she finally was able to open her eyes, only Spike and Gertrude remained. The ritual had been scary the first time around, but this time, it was even more so. The darkness that had engulfed Giles was there on the periphery, fighting with her darkness. Wesley's added to the mix, making it even harder for her to get rid of the evil, the dark side of her magicks. But the spell lifted it from her heart, making her feel a little lightheaded. Spike was holding her up in the chair. She suspected so she wouldn't slide out of it, boneless person she was at the moment.
"You are cleansed, Willow. But there is much to go over yet again."
"I know. Thanks for that," Willow winced, feeling like her chest had been pummeled by Buffy.
"She's OK, then? No more evil beasties?"
Gertrude laughed a little at Spike's assessment. "Those evil beasties are still present, William. She will just have better control over them for the time being. There is some extensive training that she needs to go through."
Willow remembered what that extensive training had entailed the last time she had been there. It had been hard, it had made her face some facts about herself that she hadn't even realized had been a problem. Obviously, it hadn't held as well as she would have liked. But Spike was right. At least her eyes weren't black.
"You have a greater ability to keep the dark forces at bay. You have grown in your abilities, Willow. For that, I am very proud. But the fact of the matter is you were reeking of dark magicks when you walked in the door."
Willow looked everywhere but at Gertrude. She had let the older woman down; she had let Giles down.
"I know. Can you make it better?" she asked the wiser wicca.
"No, child. You have to make it better. I cannot do that for you. I can only give you the tools to do it yourself."
"Self-help malarkey," Spike mumbled to himself.
"What makes you think you deserve him?" Lilah spat at her.
What? Faith wanted to yell at the woman. Who was she to talk? And why was Lilah of all people invading her dreams? If she could, she'd bitch-slap her into oblivion for how she treated Wes.
"I'm here for him. That's why I deserve him. Something you couldn't seem to manage."
"You think for one second that if Ms. Texan Twang was alive, you'd be anywhere near his bed? It was always about Winifred. She's his muse, the love of his life, his reason for living. Don't you see that?"
Faith pondered what Lilah was telling her. Sure, Fred had been important to Wesley. He had even told Faith that. Would Faith ever be those things to him? Would she ever want to be those things to any man or person? Faith was never into that pedestal thing, a man worshipping her. She always in her dreams wanted someone who was her equal.
"Dead, Lilah. Fred's dead. Gone. Not coming back. I'm here."
"Second best. Oh, sorry to tell you. Third best."
Faith laughed at that. So there was someone else she put ahead of Faith. Like herself.
"So what? Did he ever tell you he loved you? Don't think so. You couldn't hold onto him. I can."
Lilah sat down on the bed with them, stroking her hand over the quilt that Wesley had snuggled under with her when the air in the room had turned chilly.
"Oh dear me," Lilah said in mock horror. "You really think for one moment that you'll be able to hold onto him. Sorry to tell you, not gonna happen in this lifetime. Why do you think he hasn't touched you?"
He's touched her, Faith thought. Just not enough. And why the hell did Lilah care?
"Get the fuck out of my dream, Lilah. Not wanting your help."
Lilah smiled back at her, licking her lips as she arose from the bed. "You'll never know how good he is."
"Bitch," Faith shouted back at her, only to awaken with a shiver.
The dream she had just had was too fucking real. Kind of like those dreams she had of Wesley right after he had died. Was someone trying to tell her something or was her imagination just working overtime? She certainly wasn't going to do battle with a freakin' ghost in her dreams.
"Cold," Wesley mumbled as he snuggled deeper into the blanket.
Faith's hands and feet were now freezing. The dream had affected her more than she thought. So she put the hands on Wesley's back and pushed her feet between his.
"Oh, good Lord, woman," he hissed.
"Sorry. I'm just cold."
"Weren't you under the blanket?" he asked as he took her hands and started to rub some warmth into them.
"Ah, yeah. I think I was. Just had a weird dream, so I must have flung the covers off."
Faith could feel the warmth seep back into her hands and feet quickly. Wesley sure was a great heater, especially a hot, sleepy Wesley. She almost moaned as he blew more warmth into her hands.
"Nightmare?" he quietly asked.
"Sort of. No big deal. Should we get up?"
Wesley took her now warmed up hands and started kissing each finger gently. Faith shivered, but not from being cold. Rolling over, he landed on top of her, pressing his long body into hers. Now she was freakin' hot, every last inch of her.
Framing her face with his hands, he slowly lowered his head to hers, gingerly placing light kisses all over her face. The gentleness of his ministrations almost undid her. Here he was being all nice and careful with her. She didn't deserve him being this way. As a matter of fact, she didn't deserve him at all. That fucking dream was really messing with her mind now.
Sensing her change in attitude, Wesley looked down at her in question.
"I should, um, get up, since it's dark now. We should find the others," Faith barely got out without crying.
"Faith? What did I do?" he asked as he sat up on the bed.
"Nothing. Don't stress. I'm just wired is all."
Faith sat up and crossed her legs underneath her. Looking down, she twisted her hands, trying to figure out the words to tell him how she felt. Lilah got to her. The bitch had gotten into her head and messed around with it. This wasn't Faith and her insecurities. It was Lilah trying to head her off of having anything decent with Wesley.
"That fucking bitch. She's messin' with me," Faith finally said out loud.
Wesley cocked his eyebrow at her, not understanding a bit of what she was talking about. Faith reached over and grabbed his shirt, pulling him to her roughly.
"Not listenin' to her," Faith muttered before attacking Wesley's mouth with her own.
No one got the better of Faith, even in a dream. Lilah could go to hell and back for all she cared. She wasn't giving up that easily.
"Shit," Lilah barked out, watching Faith almost devour Wesley with just a kiss.
Wesley had always been so controlled around her, taking his passion with Lilah, but that was about it. He was mostly closed off to her, only a few times actually opening up. But as she watched him run his hands through his Slayer's hair, she could tell there was something different about him. He cared for the bitch.
"Payback's a bitch, now isn't it?" Cordelia said from the doorway, snapping her fingers to make the scene disappear.
"What do you want?" Lilah sneered back.
"Uh, uh. You need to watch your attitude, Lilah. Meddling is not why you are here. You're supposed to help Faith, not ruin it for her."
"I was trying to help her. He'll use her and throw her away the first chance he gets. That's what he does. The first virtuous woman that walks his way, Faith's dirt."
Cordelia started to laugh, at her. The laugh was a full-bellied, no holds barred kind of laugh. "I don't believe this. You're still hung up on him?"
"Are you still hung up on him?"
Cordelia just smiled back. Two could play that game. "He's one of my best friends and I love him."
"Must smart that the Texan and psycho slayer got to him and you didn't?"
That's right, Lilah thought. I'll push her buttons and maybe she'll reveal the real facts of why she brought Lilah there.
"Wesley and I had an understanding. Fred loved him. I do think that Faith can love him, given time."
"Not talking about what they feel. I'm talking about you."
Lilah crossed her arms over her chest, like Cordelia was on the witness stand. Lilah wanted to chop her up into little pieces and feed her to the wolves.
"I know what I'm feeling right now. I'm feeling that a contract I have in my possession just might get reinstated."
Cordelia smirked her way. Higher beings had a way of using their power over you. The Senior Partners had tried that trick several times, not always winning against Lilah.
"Not fighting fair, Cordelia," Lilah drawled. "Just your style. I wonder what Angel would think of all your meddling. Probably wouldn't be pleased. As he wouldn't be pleased about your meddling with Wes. Hmm. I wonder what would make him angrier. The fact that you knew about all that was going to happen to Connor, or the fact that Wes really did mean more to you than he did?"
Cordelia just smiled right back. Control, Lilah concluded, had never been the woman's strong suit. This woman was different. Cool, calm and in control Cordelia would be a formidable opponent.
"I don't quantify my relationships like a child, Lilah. Remember that. You mess with Faith like that again, I'll not be so forgiving."
Fred wanted to cry, scream, punch something, kick something, anything. But she stood, calm and collected while she did her job. Her stinking job. Spike was OK, for once in his life. He was taking care of Willow, which made Fred a little happier. Willow deserved someone to take care of her, someone who understood her. Spike would understand the evilness that built up in a person.
What Fred didn't understand was Cordelia. Had she ever understood Cordelia? Probably not, she mused. The woman was never that forthcoming with her feelings. The biggest thing she couldn't understand was the way Cordelia had pushed Wesley away after the Connor incident. She always thought that Wesley and Angel meant more to her than anything. And Connor had come between them all.
Fred watched as Spike literally doted on Willow, bringing her drinks and food, tucking her into bed, sitting by her side as she slept. Spike had flitted around Willow like she was some kind of goddess or something. Kind of like Wesley had done for her.
Fred didn't want to think about Wesley. She just wanted to put him out of her mind. He was always that thing that needed to be solved, put into an equation, because Fred knew of no other way of figuring him out. One moment, she was his world. The next moment, the books, the research, the jobtook over.
Fred knew it was entirely her fault. She hadn't given him much choice in the matter. Gunn had come first in her life at one point. When she finally had her eyes opened, her fogged memory eyes that knew nothing of Wesley and his deceptions, something clicked in her brain. This man liked her. He was good and patient and kind and loyal. Only she was seeing him through rose-colored glasses. He was also a stubborn, pigheaded, shortsighted jerk. Or something like that in her head. And well, he wasn't always good, hence the bitch in the cottage, wasn't always patient because hey, Gunn andWesley how they had treatedeach othersometimes, not kind, and not loyal, i.e., taking Connor without telling anyone what was going on.
Fred had forgotten all those things because of one simple spell that Angel had agreed to, to save Connor from certain death. Or what he called certain death. Leave it to Angel to call the shots and not ask anyone his or her opinions.
Fred thought it might be better if she wasn't involved with the gang anymore. If she asked Cordelia for another assignment, she bet the woman would give her a different one.
She faded back to the field, breathing in the fresh, clean air. Slowly sinking down onto her knees, she leaned back to look into the clouds, hoping to find all the answers there. But they were just clouds. Big, fluffy, white clouds, the kind she used to enjoy in Texas on a breathtakingly blue summer's day.
"I've been looking for you," Lindsey called out.
Fred took a deep breath, trying to let all the tension out of her body. Too bad whoever designed this system didn't think about their comforts. Sure, they didn't need to eat to survive, but all the aches and pains when they were human still existed.
"Doing my job," Fred mumbled out.
"I see. I have a new assignment, so I need to get going." Lindsey turned to walk away.
"Wait, Lindsey. Can I ask you something?" Fred blurted out, not wanting him to leave just yet.
"Yeah?" he asked, turning back around.
"Do you like me?"
"What? Oh, yes, I do. Why do you ask?"
"Are you gonna put me on some pedestal, make me into some kind of perfect woman kind of thing?"
Lindsey's eyes opened wide. "No, I wasn't thinkin' about it. Been there, done that. Doesn't seem to work really well."
"Oh. OK. That's what I wanted to know."
His answer didn't exactly satisfy her, but he was being honest. Coming down on his knees in front of her, he took her hands in his.
"You wanna tell me what's going on? Did Lilah say something to you?"
"Nope. That bitch can rot in hell for all I care. Just thinkin'."
"Fred, you're not some damsel in distress, but a woman capable of damn near everything. You're smart and funny. I like spending time with you. Is that so bad?"
Lindsey was a lot like Gunn, Fred concluded. Not too high maintenance. He was smart. He actually listened to her. The loyalty issue still hadn't been solved completely though.
"Thanks. I needed that," Fred smiled up at him.
Lindsey pushed a curl back from her face, grinning back at her. Even though they were almost the same height, he was so much bigger than she was, so when he moved in closer to her, Fred shivered a little. His lips lightly touched hers, slowly, agonizingly applying more pressure, until she was gasping for air.
"Thanks. I needed that," Lindsey whispered against her lips, descending to leave her breathless again.
Wesley couldn't breathe. Faith had grabbed him and had crushed her full lips against his and wouldn't let go. Like if she wasn't attached to him in every way, she would die. Finally, he was able to break the contact and transfer his mouth to the wildly beating pulse of her neck.
"Now," she growled, panting as his hand found her front.
But before they could progress any further, a knock sounded at the door.
"Don't stop," Faith whispered in his ear, sending sparks down his spine.
Gathering his wits about him, he placed his forehead on Faith's and took a couple of deep breaths. Her squirming against him wasn't making it any easier to calm himself. When her hands started to roam, he finally grabbed them and pinned them behind her back. The contact of her breasts full on made his head a little dizzy.
"We have work to do," he gasped out as she moved her leg a little more to the right.
And he thought that removing her hands from the equation would halt her amorous gropings.
"I don't think this'll take long," Faith purred as she bit down on the side of his neck.
It was oh, so tempting to take Faith up on her offer. Since she hadn't been out slaying, he was sure there was some built up energy just wanting to be released.
"Hey, get your bleeding arses up," Spike called from the hall.
Damn it, he'd been the one knocking on the door. Wesley wanted to just ignore Spike. But Faith's bump and grind against his body was distracting him from any semblance of a normal thought. Her tongue snaked up to his ear.
"Wes, touch me," Faith whispered in his ear.
He groaned back in response, so caught up in how her body felt against his. Releasing her arms, he crushed her body to his, bringing her mouth up to his. Faith responded by thrusting her tongue into his mouth.
The pounding at the door became quite annoying. Wesley wrenched his mouth from Faith, earning him a groan. She then latched onto his neck, making his breathing quite difficult.
"Go away Spike," Wesley yelled at the door.
"Can't. Watcher's gone around the bend. If the two of you don't get out here, the witches are gonna toast him."
"Shit," Faith spat out, taking deep breaths.
"Of all the bloody times for Rupert to lose it," Wesley ground out, yanking Faith off the bed behind him.
Angel had rested. He was more than rested. As he sat in the room that the Wiccas had given him, he twiddled his thumbs together as he waited for the sun to go down. No use wandering around the estate in the daylight, when he didn't know exactly what he would encounter.
"Please tell me I'm not a bad person?" Cordelia said from behind him.
Angel wasn't sleeping. He knew he'd been wide awake for quite some time now. But there she was, directly in front of him.
"You're here? I don't understand."
"Of course, you don't understand," Cordelia started on her rampage. "You never understand, until I have to spell it out for you. Then you go off all half-cocked, and almost get yourself killed, I mean dusted. Then I have to pick up the pieces. I can't pick up the pieces this time. It's too hard. I am sick and tired of being in the middle of things. No more. I'm not in the middle any more. Do you here that, buster? No more middle-gal."
Angel gazed back at Cordelia, not following one bit what she was saying. He just hoped she wasn't trying to tell him something important.
"Something happen? I mean, you're here. You're not supposed to be here, are you?"
"You know what, I've had it with the PTBs. Playin' around, messin' with my people. From now on, I'm the boss around here. What I say, goes. And if they don't like it, well then tough."
"OK. Cordy, what are you the boss of?"
"It doesn't matter. What matters is I'm in charge. They can't accept me, well, then fine. But I'm doin' my job. We are so gonna have words when I go to the next staff meeting."
"They have staff meetings?"
He was thoroughly confused now.
"Well, of course. How do you think the Powers get anything done? Me and a couple of other yahoos. That's how. Well, the buck stops here now. That's it. Final."
Cordelia swept her hands through the air like she meant business.
"Cordelia, are you a Power?" Angel asked her.
"Well, duh?"
That usually meant yes in Cordy-speak. So she had been rewarded for all that she had gone through when she was a human with those head-splitting visions.
"That's great, but why are you here? I thought . . . ," he started to ask.
"That I could appear to you only in your dreams? Nah. I just liked doing that to mess with you. And besides, it made things much simpler. You're so much calmer when you're asleep."
He's calmer when he's asleep? What was Cordy like when she was asleep? This was definitely not her day for a calm one.
"So why are you here?" he asked yet again.
"Um, just to rant. Why else? Everyone is mad at me. Me. I did not do anything. They all are mad at me. Doyle won't talk to me because he thinks that I'm in love with Wesley and not him."
Angel's eyes opened wide with that one.
"Can you believe I have to, of all people, deal with Lilah now?"
Was Cordy in a hell dimension?
"Oh, God, don't let me get started about Lindsey."
She must be in a hell dimension.
"And then there's Fred to deal with. She yelled at me," Cordelia cried out.
"Fred?" Angel managed to get out. "Can't be."
"Yep. Can be."
Angel couldn't believe what he was hearing. Maybe this was all a hallucination. He was hearing all that he wanted to hear. Well, except for the Lindsey and Lilah part.
"God, are you deficient? That doctor guy, not the most trustworthy. Should have let Wes have a go at him. Although, way too messy with the blood and all. You really need to make sure you lock up the handheld weapons around him. His finger's a little trigger happy."
"Tell me," Angel impatiently asked.
"When Illyria, that blue whatever she was, died, Fred was released. I've got her, Angel. I'll take care of her."
If Angel could breathe a sigh of relief, he would. If Fred couldn't be alive and with him, then the best place for her would be with Cordelia, in heaven.
"Oh, don't think she's in heaven. Because, she's so not the Pollyanna we all thought she was. That girl can get wicked mean when she wants. Talking about wicked, where's Faith?"
When Cordelia was alive, most of the time Angel would have a hard time following her train of thought. Now, so much harder.
"I assume she's resting. Maybe with Wes?"
"Oh, geez. Who would have thunk that pair?"
"Oh, they're not, you know."
Cordelia sat down on the bed with him. He could tell that she wasn't corporeal. Light seemed to pass right through her. He really wanted to reach out and touch her right then. Just so he could think that everything that she was telling him was real.
"How old are you? You just didn't fall off the turnip truck."
Angel snickered a little. Yes, he did know something about attraction. He did know that Faith and Wes had been dancing around each other for months. Was that a good thing? All that emotion bottled up inside?
"Doyle thought you loved Wes better than him?"
Cordelia shook her head back and forth, like he didn't get it, yet again.
"Yep. Stupid Irishman. I love Wes. I love you. I love Doyle. Hell, I even love Gunn, when he's not annoying the bejesus out of me."
"Not what I asked," Angel told her, serious tone to his voice.
"He, I. OK, you know what. I feel guilty that I wasn't there for him. Like we were for each other in the beginning. I abandoned him, flat out abandoned him. Mind you, wasn't my choice. He means the world to me."
Angel could see the tears building up in Cordelia's eyes. She almost never cried. She was always the tough one. So whatever this meant, it meant a lot to her.
"So, sure. I love him. If things had been different, maybe things would be different. Kind of like with us."
If Angel could feel pain in his heart, he would right then. If things were different? He wouldn't be talking to Cordelia, fledging Power that Be. She'd be right there by his side, corporeally speaking.
"I'm glad you were honest about it."
"So, how do we get him and Faith together? The both of them sure do need to have some hot, groiny sex."
Angel snorted a little. Then he smiled at Cordelia. Then all of a sudden, a bellow of a laugh came out, making his insides hurt, he laughed so hard.
"What?" Cordelia laughed right along with him. "The hot sex remark?"
"No, it's just the way you said it. Like it was your job or something."
"Oh, not my job. It's Lilah's job to keep an eye on Faith."
Angel lost his laugh, face turning sullen. That was not what he wanted to hear.
"Excuse me? You're gonna let Lilah loose on Faith?"
"Nope. Actually the other way around. Faith's gonna run her ragged. Should be fun. And Lilah gets to watch as Faith actually catches Wesley."
"She's not gonna watch, you know, that?" Angel asked, emphasizing the last word.
"There you go again. You are not a prude. Oh, wait. Yes you are."
Angel threw her a sarcastic scowl and bent over to touch his forehead to his hands.
"When'd it all start getting so . . . ," Angel started to ask Cordelia.
"Screwed? Hmm. The first day we met. That must be it," she replied, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
"So Ms. Cordelia I'm a Power that Be Chase, how are you going to fix all of this?" he wanted to know from her.
"I have a plan."
"You don't make plans. Wes makes the plans. You just question the hell out of the plan. You don't make the plans."
"I do so. Just you wait." Cordelia sat beside and didn't move.
"I'm waiting."
TBC
Next: Giles. What is gonna happen with him? I really like the fact that he's going to be a little bad for now. Willow needs to get back to controlling her magicks. Faith and Wesley really need to spend some private time together. And we all need to find out what Ethan was really up to.