I still have no clue what Felipe is having her do or where she is going, but I realized that I had left a few gaps over motivation and where I am going with this story. So Sookie is sharing what she knows about it all, as she prepares to go do.. something..

After listening to Felipe's thoughts, I decided to take off that evening. I really hated traveling in the travel coffins. Not only that but I had seen just how many opportunities there was for things to go wrong, with humans moving you. Not only that, but as he pointed out, if I leave tonight, no one will have time to concoct some elaborate plan to kill, or kidnap me. Not that I planned on that happening, but as I learned from a Viking, you don't survive for as long as he without planning out all contingencies. I cannot even think of him by name anymore. He is either Viking or Sheriff of area 5 in Louisiana. To think of him as Eric, makes me think of my Eric, and it just hurts to much. I should have trusted my first instincts. That night long ago when he staked Longshadow, I heard this thoughts, and by golly they were accurate. He would do anything he had to as long as he got the desired result. He would try to be non lethal but only as so far as it serviced his needs. Cold lethal snake pit I remembered thinking. I have learned to trust my instincts now, my problem before was my reactions to my instincts, but I have been working on that. I wanted to be a Vampire to gain control over my life, and I was never going to get that control if I didn't give myself a few good once overs too, and see how I had allowed myself to be sucked into situations.

That is how I came to be with Felipe. When I felt his attention at my drinking from his chalice, I knew it was not malicious. Then he smiled at me, with pride. I could hear his mind and how impressed he was with my not killing anyone. I knew he was a good Vampire. Not a good guy. He was not unnecessarily cruel, or hurtful to anyone or thing. He was a savvy politician (hey he way King), and a master of all things Vampire. By human standards he was ruthless, cunning, and devious, but by Vampire standards, he was fair, cunning and vastly intelligent. Then I heard the humans. I needed time to figure out how to stay with the King, because I knew Felipe could teach me what I needed. I didn't want Eric dead, but there was no way I was staying with him to be sold off into a harem. Instantly I had a plan, and fell to the floor in convolutions. It was truly the best decision I had ever made. Every night with Felipe proved it over again. He spent hours discussing politics, and motivations with me. He was as indulgent as a father with his only daughter with me. He loved to spoil me, and I in return gave him my complete loyalty, and devotion. I never questioned him, and in returned he explained everything to me in private. I was lucky to have a great mentor.

After informing Felipe of my decision, and he gave his approval of my departing this evening, I went and packed my bags. This evening was bigger than being sent out for the King for the first time. I knew I was going to run into him. This would be the first time he didn't see me as an asset, or a problem. As stupid as it sounds, tonight was a night for first impressions. There was no way I could go and even pretend that this was the first time, there was way to much water under that bridge for me to ignore, but that man never saw Sookie Stack house.

Packing a few dresses, I remembered picking them up with Pam when she came to drop off some stuff to the king. Felipe had decided he didn't want to see the Sheriff, so Pam came in his stead. Our friendship picked up right where it left off, hell we were closer because you know Vampires first. Pam was anxious to hit all of the designer stores in the hotels, and I let her excitement guide me. I didn't worry about prices for the first time ever. If the shoes that matched my dress were $150.00 then that is what I got. If the boots that went best with my skirt were $900.00 that is what I got. I would deny myself nothing in this second chance of life (undeadness?) I knew my appearance was a reflection of the King, so I bought what I needed. I didn't buy 20 dresses, or 20 shoes, because I had to live with myself at the end of the day. Even though I am determined to enjoy my life, Sookie Stackhouse doesn't take advantage of anyone, and I just had to be true to me.

On my way to the airport, I thought about Pam trying to get a rise out of me by taking about him, as we walked to the next hotel. I took a quick dip in her head and realized that it had nothing to do with him rather it was just Pam being Pam, (and that means fucking with people). I knew I had to put her in her place before this got out of hand. "Pam, if you are going to spend our time talking about him we better go our separate ways. We both have way to much history with him, and I am not going to let it affect my friendship with you." She took notice that I didn't even mention his name. Oh no, she knew I was hurting over it, but she couldn't quite get why, but she understood I was serious. "Sookie, Do you mean that I can't ever mention him?" she asked. Another quick dip revealed why she was worried. Poor thing, most of her life was wrapped around Fangtasia, and if she couldn't ever talk about it, or him she would have nothing to say. I hugged my friends and told her "Of course not silly, just stop trying to use him to fuck with me."

On the plane I took my time scanning every mind on the plane. Nothing was out of place, no bomb, crazies, (well a few but they were harmless), or anything that would make the plane fall out the sky, and I settled in to thinking about my first night as a Vampire. I forced myself to remember it. I needed all the information I could get to make this right. I knew I had to set the tone when I saw him. One thing the Viking taught me that night, was a good offense is better than the best defense. Every time he registered an emotion coming from me, he would ask why I was feeling it. I almost revealed my secret that night. I didn't realize I couldn't lie to him, OK wait, I knew he would know, but not that I would physically be unable to. Only because of my skill of not revealing the whole truth did I get away with as much as I did. I realized my new Vampire mind, allowed me to spit out a half truth much easier than my human mind, and my human mind was pretty darn good at it. He was getting really close to the truth, and I knew that my luck was going to run out soon. I kept tabs on his brain and once an emotion I had was strong enough to get his attention, I quickly deflected with another question before he could ask what was wrong (and I had to answer honestly). Like at one point, I was terrified of the idea of him selling me off as a whore, and he sensed my fear. Before he could ask me what was wrong (and I had to say that I didn't want to be a whore, and therefore revealing that I could hear his thoughts), I asked him "Will Felipe really kill us both if he doesn't get the answer he wants." It was a logical reason for my fear, also a question I wanted answered, and best of all, I didn't have to answer him.

I had to keep my feelings in check, and tried to think of other things but his brain was evil. No.. not evil. Angry, pissed, rage, all directed at me. I was so scared of him, but I wanted to know why I was the object of all these feelings. I skirted around his brain, lest he feel me in there, or my reaction to being in there. This person was like an altered ego of the Sheriff. The vampire I had first met with Bill was the real Sheriff, and the way "real guy" viewed me was hmmm lets see how to explain it. I was some thing to be possessed. I wasn't quite as invaluable as his cell phone that could be replaced the next day, but not quite his corvette, either. I wasn't easily replaceable, but he would destroy any of the three "possessions" in a second to keep number one safe. Altered Ego Sheriff despised me because of Hallows curse. He sat at my feet. Others had seen him defer to me. Others taunted him because they saw the hold this human had over him at the time. The fact that he was cursed is the only reason I am alive. But he made it his goal to "put me in my place", long before he regained his memory. He blamed me for the way he acted, and for allowing him to appear weak. Since then everything he has done, was to acquire me, my talent, and make me sit at his feet. Once he regained his memory, he realized he could use affection to get what he wanted, and that it would ultimately work better. Not that he would have minded hurting me, but love would have been more effective. I would be his, and subject to his ever whim, which he planned to exercise quite regularly and publicly. Once everyone saw that I was his, and completely at his mercy it would absolve him of his actions while he was cursed. Part of me was just sickened by it all.

The vampire side of me understood it completely. I mean really how can you be cruel to a cellphone? Knowing that he never really saw me, was what kept me from going crazy. I was never a person to him, merely a set of personality quirks that gave his brain an opportunity to stretch and plot a way to squash them. Never a whole person, just a set of problems that needed a solution. That is why this first visit is so important. He will meet Sookie Stackhouse, not potential asset, fuck, snack or anything else. What if he was never cursed? How would have things played out then? Pull it together Sookie I tell myself. I am a Vampire because I didn't want to play the what if game. I was done with coulda, shoulda, and woulda. The plane is making its decent, and I start reeling my mind back in. I am the King's most trusted, I have power, influence, and the tools(mental), to make what I want to happen become reality. Now to figure out what I want from Him. No... What I want for me. I will deny myself nothing. I need to figure out where I want to place him, and then maneuver him there.

Time to put on my game face.