Okay so this is one of the funniest chapters so fdar! Also one of the stupidest. I should start putting warnings on this thing: WARNING- Extreme stupidity contained in the fanfiction. May cause loss of brain cells. Read at your own risk.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su MARY SUE is a stupid character that seems perfect in every way. They don't think her name is Mary Sue, they think she's stupid. OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! Awwwww poor man is In love with a major Mary Sue. dey nu eechodder b4 ok! My cellmates a killer, they make me do push ups... IN DRAG. Listening to MCR 3 love them.

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" He turned slowly, revealing the revolver in his hand and smiling evilly. He cocked the gun and put it against my head, and the last thing I felt was the cold metal on my forehead, the last sound I heard was the soft click of him pulling the trigger.

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously. Dammit. She's not dead -_- I like my version better, didn't you?

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. Somebody's PMSing...

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. Bipolar much?

And then... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. How do you make out keenly? He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Oh Em Gee Really? You even took off your BRA? Scary mental images here...Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what No, I don't know what. What is it? and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. TMI... I NEED MINDSOAP! D: We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. As a vampire, you can't get warm. And then...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" OOH! I wonder who caught them?

It was...Dumbledore! DUMBLEDORE! YAY! He is pretty awesome. This Dumbledore even cusses!

A/N: So, how was it? How many brain cells did you lose?

A lot, right?

Okay, while I have you here... I know people are reading this. So please review? Thanks :)

Love, Eva Cormac 3