Bring Me To Life
By: Ellivia22
Chapter 4
Beast Boy
The warm sunshine falls over me, waking me from my slumber. It wasn't a peaceful sleep. I spent half of the night tossing and turning. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't clear my mind. The pain was strong.
I sit up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I feel weird. My muscles feel strained and tight. My chest feels like I'm carrying an anchor. Apparently Star's words are still affecting me greatly.
I glance at my watch. 12 noon. Holy crap I missed combat practice! At first I wonder why the others didn't wake me. But then I figure they're still mad. This doesn't improve my mood at all.
My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I didn't have dinner last night. I was too upset to see anyone. I figure now everyone would be doing their own thing. I'll be able to grab lunch and avoid everyone. Another idea strikes me. I'll play video games with Cyborg and lose on purpose. That'll make him happy and make things normal between us again.
I get out of bed and pull on my clothes. I want to smile, act like nothing's wrong, but I can't. The muscles in my mouth won't work.
I stop dead when I enter the living room. Sitting at the kitchen table are Robin and Starfire eating lunch. Starfire stares at me fearfully. Robin glares at me, making me feel like he wants to squash me like a bug.
Doing my best to ignore them I hold my head high. I enter the kitchen. I feel their eyes on me as I pull out a slab of tofu and barbecue sauce from the fridge. I am able to hear them whispering.
My chest tightens. I feel sick. I think instead of playing video games with Cyborg, I need to talk to him. I need to let all my emotions out. He's my best friend. He'll listen to me…..won't he?
I turn and head back to my room. I close the door behind me. I lie back in my bed and eat my lunch. It feels good to eat something. I didn't know I was this hungry. While I'm eating, I try to organize my thoughts in order to talk to Cyborg.
Instead I think of Raven. Her violet hair, her beautiful indigo eyes. I love everything about her. I love her more than anything in the world. I know she hates me though. I'll just have to love her from afar.
I polish off my lunch and start looking for Cyborg. God I hope he's forgiven me. I can't stand having my friends mad at me. The first place I check is the garage. I enter the Titan's garage. The strong smell of motor oil enter my nostrils. Cyborg is, as I expected, leaning over the engine of the T-car. I start to get a bad feeling, but I push it aside.
"Hey Cy," I say as normally as possible.
He looks up, his eye meeting mine. "Beast Boy," he says in an abnormal voice. He lowers his head back to his work.
I swallow my fear. "Can I talk to you?"
"Sorry. Too busy."
"It'll only be a moment,"
"NO!"
Cyborg's voice is cold and sharp, like a knife in my chest. I back away slowly. My heart is thudding in my ears. So it's true. I've lost my best friend too. Suddenly my back hits a shelf, which starts to break. I turn around quickly and try to keep the shelf from coming down.
"Yo!" Cyborg yells. "What are you doing?"
His outburst startles me. I drop the shelf. Wax, oil, grease, and paint starts flying everywhere. Orange paint splatters over me, Cyborg, and the T-car . I stare at Cyborg in horror. He's going to kill me. Cyborg advances on me and grabs my now painted shirt. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY CAR!"
"I'm s-sorry C-Cy," I stammer. I close my eyes, not wanting to see the fury on his metal face.
"YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!" My stomach tightens painfully as his words of fury hit my insides in every direction. "GO BUG SOMEONE ELSE!"
He lets go of my shirt and I run as fast as I can out of the garage. I don't stop running until I reach the bathroom. I think I'm going to be sick. I run to the toilet and drop to my knees. My lunch comes out.
Once I'm done throwing up, I lean against the wall. Not until then do I let my emotions run free. Tears are dampening my face. They're coming so fast I can't see. I can't believe this is happening to me. It seems like no matter what I do, I make things worse. Maybe Cyborg is right. I can't do anything right. His sharp words cut me deep. I'm bleeding on the inside.
Can't do anything right
A sudden determination sparks in me. No! They're wrong! I am a good teammate! I can do things! I wipe the tears off my face and stand up unsteadily. I'll show them. I'll show them all. I'll succeed in the next mission. Then they'll realize I can be helpful.
I strip and get in the shower. I turn on the water as hot as it will go. The scorching water is a good distraction to what I'm feeling. While I'm washing the sticky paint off, I come up with a plan.
I don't have the strength to face my teammates again, so I'll just stay in my room until the next mission. I'll eat at night so I won't have to worry about running into them. Then when the time comes, I'll prove my worth.
It'll work. It has to.
Raven
A few days have passed since Robin and Starfire talked to me. The atmosphere around the tower has changed drastically. We don't hang out anymore. Each of us is doing our own thing. Robin has been scheduling training sessions like crazy and strategizing. For some reason he hasn't included Beast Boy in any of the plans. Cyborg has stopped playing the game station and spends most of his time on his car. Starfire cooks almost every moment every day. I seem like the normal one.
Beast Boy? I haven't seen him since he sat next to me in the living room the other day. He doesn't show up for training sessions or meals anymore. It's so weird not hearing his laughter, his jokes. I only know he's still here, because when I meditate I feel his presence. I feel his distress. He's still really upset about something. I want to go into his mind and find out what, but I don't want to invade his privacy.
I'm sitting in the dark kitchen, sipping some herbal tea. The clock on the wall reads 2 am. I can't sleep. Beast Boy is on my mind. This is no surprise to me, though. Ever since I realized I was in love with him, he's been on my mind constantly.
I feel pain increase inside me. Not mine-but his. I wish there was some way I could help him.
There he is sighs Love dreamily in my head.
I glance up from my tea to see a shadowed figure opening the fridge and take something out. Though it is dark, I can tell it's Beast Boy. Damn he's sexy! "Hey Beast Boy," I say quietly. "Couldn't sleep either?"
He whirls around quickly. He stares at me in shock. It's obvious that he thought he was alone. I narrow my eyes in suspicion. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing," he says quickly. His voice is crackly and hoarse.
I roll my eyes and get out of my chair. Beast Boy tries to hide the items in his hands behind his back, but not quick enough. In one hand, a slab of tofu, the other barbecue sauce.
I raise my eyebrow. "So that's when you eat. At night. When everyone is asleep. You must really hate us."
"I don't hate you," he says quickly.
I fold my arms. "They why aren't you coming for training sessions? Or for meals? Are you planning on living in your room for the rest of your life?"
He glares back at me, his green eyes hard. "Like you can talk! I never thought I'd see the day that you'd come out. What's the occasion?"
His comment stung. He acts like I spend my whole life in my room. It's not totally true. I only spend most of my time in my room. Besides I've come out more than him lately. I pull up my hood to hide the effect of his words. "We're not talking about me. We're talking about you."
He sighs irritably. "Whatever."
He turns his back on me and leaves the kitchen. "Hey! I'm not done with you yet!" I say angrily, but he ignores me.
I sit back down and sip my tea. His attitude is so strange. He's never walked out of an argument with me before. Maybe he's too upset. I shouldn't have been so pushy for answers.
I decide to talk to him tomorrow. I'll apologize for being a bitch and ask him if he needs to talk about anything. If he doesn't answer, then I'll try again the next day. And the next. Just like he used to. I won't stop until he decides to come out at last.