Chapter 4

After a long cry and more than a few cleansing breaths, Leah found her way up from the floor. She left her bag and keys and marched straight to the shower. Her cell phone rang as she turned on the water. At that point Leah didn't care who it was and chose to ignore it; she wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet. She switched on the radio to drown it out.

Leah stood in the shower for a good 20 minutes letting the hot water beat down onto her, hopefully washing her clean. Tears came once again when she heard a familiar song floating in the air. Leah began to sway as she noticed herself singing out loud like a prayer.

She sang louder, nearly shouting the lyrics over and over, praying more fervently for help. Leah asked for a sign of encouragement, any sign, and she swore she would pay attention this time.

Exhausted, she composed herself and stepped out of the shower. After Leah put on her favorite old Rocky Horror Picture Show t-shirt, she turned off the radio and the lights and burrowed into the shelter of her bed. The soft sheets and heavenly layers of cover never felt better. She rolled to her side and found a cool spot of pillow; it felt wonderful on her face, still hot from the shower and all the crying. Leah's eyes closed, and before she could begin to cry again, sleep took her.

She was at an elegant party of some sort in a large room full of people mingling and enjoying themselves. Men were dressed in tuxedos and ladies in cocktail dresses. There were several people in line at the bar that she could see in the corner. Others were talking and laughing, gathered around the tall cocktail tables scattered about the room.

As she was looking around, she noticed someone out of the corner of her eye. He was standing alone and had the look of a predator seeking out its prey. She walked over to a nearby table to reposition herself and get a better look at him; he was dressed in black from head to toe, even his hair was black. It looked to be about shoulder length and was tied back at the nape of his neck. His skin was fair like hers and he had elegant hands with long, slender fingers. They looked like a musician's hands to her, and each of them held a glass of champagne.

He turned slightly and she was able to get a good look at his face; his features were sharp to say the least. As he scanned the room, he wore a tense look of concentration, almost a scowl. Just as she was wondering what weight he could possibly carry to look so serious, he slowly and deliberately turned his face to her and looked her straight in the eyes. She decided not to look away as she didn't want to hide from him. She didn't want to act like she had just been caught staring at him, even though that was exactly what was happening.

Looking at her, his face softened a bit, and a sly ghost of a smile played at the corners of his lips. His left eyebrow arched, questioning her, but she held her ground and gave him the same look back, questioning him. She saw a mischievous light in his eyes just before he gave her a slow nod, bowing his head toward her. She held steady and he began to walk toward her. He reached out his hand to offer her one of the glasses of champagne.

Leah realized she was awake, and looking at the clock, she saw that it was 2:30am. 'That dream again?', she thought to herself. 'I wonder what brought that on?'

She frequently had the dream and knew every detail by heart; he was the dark horse she was never able to find. Leah was always attracted to men like that, dark, mysterious, bold Too bad she couldn't find any.

She checked out the Goth scene and the bad boys, but they were all just that – boys. What Leah needed was a man, someone who could handle her temper and her passion, someone smart and resourceful, someone who didn't need to shout because he could captivate her with a whisper, not a master and not a slave. An equal. She ached for her dark horse now more than ever.

At this point Leah realized she was sitting up in bed, wide awake. She got up and looked to see if anything was in her CD player. Finding her Norah Jones CD, she turned it on, figuring that it was mellow enough to calm her down and maybe even get her to sleep again. She laid quietly listening, and by the time "Come Away With Me" came on, she was peaceful.

Leah listened to the honest beauty of the song and its lyrics as she drifted off. 'If only things were that simple', she thought to herself.

There she was again, at the party, the same man standing across from her as always. But this time the scene seemed to pick up from where it always left off. Her dark horse was compelling, Goth for sure, tall, lean, intense. Looking up at him, she could see the offer in his eyes, and took the glass of champagne from him. "Looking for someone?" she inquired. He leaned forward as he put his glass on the table behind her. Straightening back up to full height, his face only inches from hers, he leaned in close and said, "Just you." His voice was rich and hypnotic as it caressed her ear. Pure black magic.

She was awake again. 'Now, that has to be a sign!' Leah thought of her dark horse as she drifted back off into sleep.

At 7:23am, Leah crawled out of bed and got ready for work. She made it in a little late, but considering what she endured the night before, she couldn't have cared less. She said nothing of her attack to anyone and got settled at her desk. Looking at the missed calls on her cell phone, Leah realized it was time to call Will back, as there were several from him. She got his voice mail and decided not to leave a message.

Leah really wished her boss, James, was not out at a meeting. He was the one person she would have told about the attack. She had been close friends with him for years and needed to talk with him now more than ever; it made no difference that she reported to him. Keeping work and friendship separate had never been a problem for them. James would be back at work tomorrow, and Leah reminded herself to be patient.

At lunch, she walked to the park to clear her head and thought, 'God, it's hotter than two bats screwing in a wool sock out here.' (Charleston had four seasons – hot, hotter, hot and Christmas.) With a little distance between her and the previous night's events, she felt more calm and focused about her situation. Now, she just had to figure out what to do. Leah decided to surprise Will after work at his place and they would talk. An ambush, that was the first step.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Despite the fact that she was a little sore from pulling the "Charlie's Angels" last night, she wasn't feeling too many after effects. It was creepy for sure walking to and from her car, but there was nothing to be done about it. She simply had to get used to it, keep her guard up and learn to overcome her fear. Common sense always offered its own special kind of comfort.

Pulling up at Will's apartment that afternoon, Leah noticed his car parked in its usual spot. 'Good', she thought, 'no escape.' Climbing the stairs, she heard a door opening and Will's voice drifting out. She stopped in the stairwell to listen and heard another voice, too quiet to make out.

Silently, she crept to the top of the steps and peered around the corner toward Will's door. And that was when Leah saw it. She didn't know if she would ever be able to get that picture out of her head as long as she lived.

As she peeked around the corner, she saw Will in a man's arms. They were embracing quite sweetly, kissing each other goodbye.

The man walked past her down the steps and Leah found the contents of her purse suddenly fascinating. 'Chris, was it?' Once he was gone, she sat down on the steps and cried softly, shaking her head.

Her cell phone rang in her purse, and looking at the caller ID, Leah realized it was Will. She stood up, took a cleansing breath and marched toward his door, mustering all the strength she could. He opened the door, took one look at her, and knew what happened. The look on his face seemed to say it all. Busted.

He tried to explain, but launched into apologetic babbling instead. He was so sorry…he never meant for this to happen…didn't she know that he would never deliberately hurt her?...blah, blah, blah.

Leah didn't know what happened inside, but she put on her "never let 'em see you sweat" façade, probably because she could hear her mother's voice inside her head saying it. Leah appeared composed, but inside, she was collapsing.

After talking, they agreed that it was over. Leah promised not to "out" him as he wanted to do it his own way. She decided to let him keep a shred of self respect and offered up the "we grew apart" story. That was what they would tell everyone. Leah had no idea how she was able to be so kind. If she hadn't been emotionally weakened from her attack and her epiphany the night before, she would have torn his still-beating heart from his chest with her bare hands.

When she got home that evening, the anger set in. Leah got hysterical…and violent. At least her dishes thought so, as she broke nearly all of them in a fit that night. She couldn't believe the hand life had dealt her. She thought that everything was falling into place, when in fact, it was falling apart. That was when Leah began to look back and see the signs, the warnings she was given, and she saw the price she paid for ignoring them.

Soundtrack Entry #3 – Bring Me To Life – Evanescence