She had never been one to be so abrupt about anything especially when it came to talking about what it was inside her that made her who she is. Feelings, her family, the thoughts her brain produced, none of it was ever spoken aloud, not even to herself, the inside voice was always silenced. Until now.
''Oh, well please don't sugar coat it''. He said,
She took a deep breath realizing she had jumped the gun and let the dam of emotion flood out a little too quickly. ''That's not what I meant''. She said.
''Could have fooled me''.
''Just let me explain I –''
''Let you explain what? That you're sorry for what you said? Which time you're referring to I have no idea but your apology is slightly accepted. What else. Oh! For never visiting me in the hospital even though you pretty much pushed me to the edge all those months ago. For consistently refusing my help and fucking me off''. He spoke calmly which made her more fearful and angry with herself. But she wouldn't show him that. She could never. But you want to don't you. All you want to do is just run to him and pretend like the last year hasn't even happened. Face it, FACE IT.
''I don't hate you if that's what you're wondering, coming here to have a clear conscious there is no need. You are forgiven and now you may leave''. He said brushing past her, his arm grazing hers and the cord spiked up again the demonic voice screaming inside her head. That felt nice didn't it. You would love nothing more than to hold him all night, be with him. Don't kid yourself its what you've always wanted since he helped you escape isn't it? Isn't it? She was shocked to say the least he had taken the words right out of her throat and projected them for her, finishing with the sloppy half grin he did when he was uncomfortable about something. Before she could stop herself she opened up her mouth.
''Why did you do it? You were almost dead? Do you know what that did to me''? She asked.
He rolled his eyes, making her even angrier. Damn she had been feeling angry for a long time now and in the beginning it was at herself but now she wasn't sure. She was trying to apologise for fucks sake couldn't he just smile and say no problem and quip her with some pathetic and ultimately sexual remark that he picked up from some sleazy channel on the TV? Why did he have to be an ass about it?
''I'm trying to say I'm sorry and explain myself, can I do that''?
''I don't wanna hear your shitty excuses''.
''Why did you do it''?
There was silence for what seemed like hours.
''Why did you do it''? She asked again softer and she could feel the tremble in her lower lip and his practically lifeless body filled her mind. If you keep questioning he will answer, and you know what it is. You know because you feel the same. Can you hear it out loud? Someone accepting you for what you are. A monster.
''Because you ruined me. I love you. And you broke me''. And in that moment his dam of emotions broke, his silver cord inside himself snapping. The coil coming undone and attaching itself to hers.