Disclaimer: I own only my soul...and my ideas...
AN: So...here's another chapter. This has sort of turned into my guilty pleasure fic. My other projects are babies and I treat them with the utmost care, but this fic I just toss whatever I'm thinking into. To that end, I need your help. I don't really know if I should have Jacob imprint on Bella...at all. It might be fun, but then it would make the story line sweet and sugary and easy...and I like angst. So, I defer to the populace. The person who wins my game (for those of you who have forgotten, all you have to do is simply give me the connection between the quote and the chapter) will essentially get the power to decide if Jacob imprints. =P Oh, and since no one even participated in the last game, I chose this chapter's dreamer myself. If you can figure it out, you get a cookie! (Meaning you get to pick the next chapter's dreamer since I changed the game's prize this chapter) Anyway, Thank You All for Taking the Time to Read and Review =D
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
It was like light, he decided. It was shapeless, but warm and inviting. It didn't need a form in order to make him feel like he belonged in it. It was there, surrounding him, but he could never reach out and grab it. The strange part was, he was bathed in absolute total darkness. The only thing he could remember was following the beautiful woman who promised him freedom; freedom from his father; freedom from life; freedom from death; freedom from humanity.
He drifted in the darkness, dancing along the edge of what he was told ought to be mind numbing pain. He idly wondered if basking in it made him a masochist on a scale grander than anyone could ever anticipate. He had had dreams of a new life. He had had dreams of a purposeful existence, an existence where he could be him.
He drifted in the darkness turning to light, images running by him. There were images of strength, of power, of beauty. None of it mattered to him now. Everything was dust in the wind – everything but him. He was eternal now. He dreamed of it. Eternity. Perfection.
The red haired beauty had promised him an eternity, and he would love her for it.
Jake had not taken Embry's disappearance well. He had not taken the subsequent realization that Embry was now ensconced within Sam's "gang" any better. Thankfully, however, Jake hadn't associated Bella's desire to take Embry home with his inclusion in Bella's brother's Pack. Bella didn't think she could handle it if Jake suddenly hated her.
It was strange, her need for Jacob. Originally, she had thought that she needed nothing except for life. As long as she was alive, she was doing something, as long as she was doing something, she had a purpose. End.
That was it. After he had left her, she hadn't thought she needed anything more than the spice of life. That was all that was left to her. Certainly she had nothing else. Bella had been convinced she couldn't feel love, hatred, joy, loathing, even pain.
But then Jacob had helped her smile. He had held out his warm hand to her when he didn't even know how much she truly needed it. In the midst of a world that was shrouded by the mists of uncertainty and the haze of monotony, he had lit the path for her the same way the sun burns away the morning dew.
And then she had laughed. And she had the strangest person to thank for it: Paul. Of all the people on the Earth, Bella had not expected Paul to help her laugh. But that was what made her life so very strange. She was finding warmth, love, devotion, in all the strangest places. She was finding a purpose in a void where nothing but the darkness of doubt had before existed.
Originally, she had written all of this off. It wasn't improvement. It was just her mind and body acclimating to the roles they were playing. She was an actor, playing her role in life, and they were learning the lines, bit by bit.
And then she had seen Jacob's tortured eyes as he stared at Embry hanging out with the Pack.
And her soul had been shattered again.
Bella could feel whatever it was that had come in to her life slowly die away as she saw the light that had shone through the dreary veil of depression dim. He was her light. She knew it as well as she knew herself. And she wouldn't let him feel this way. Sam had, of course, objected violently, even a week after the phasing of Embry.
The tiny little ball of glass that occupied the space where her heart had resided had broken for Jacob. She hated seeing him in pain. However, the glass had quickly sublimated and ignited upon hearing that she, too, was supposed to stay away from Jacob.
"Absolutely not," her brother had objected in the stentorian tones that marked what she had now dubbed the "Big-Brother-Voice".
Bella had merely rolled her eyes at her brother's continued use of an obviously ineffective method of control, "I thought we'd already established I'm not a part of the Pack, and therefore don't heel, play dead, or shake hands on command," Bella had hissed out, still piqued at being treated like an invalid. Sam and Charlie had both commented on her improvement. Sam, however, for some odd reason, wasn't pleased at the source.
Sam had received muted growls from the rest of his pack at that. The last time they had had this argument, the Pack had been forced to subsist on vegetables for nearly a week. After Embry had phased, it had only been intended as a single day of retribution (which Emily had happily endorsed). However, Sam had torn into her about bringing a neigh phasing werewolf home the next day, results or no. Emily hadn't wanted to get him angry, being his imprint. Bella hadn't cared. She had simply listened. It was then arranged that Emily would take care of cleaning up after the Pack, and Bella would handle the cooking for the Pack. They had, of course, devised this plan after copious amounts of "girl talk".
Sam and his wolves had been expecting flank steak and possibly a side of mashed potatoes to congratulate Embry's inclusion into the world of the wolfy. They had been met with green. Boiled spinach, steamed broccoli, and steamed green beans, without even basic forms of seasoning, had been presented to the Pack as Embry's "Welcome Dinner". Sam had, of course, refused to take back what he'd said about what he still insisted was Bella's mistake, despite the fact he was being forced to eat what Bella had essentially turned into somewhat textured nutrient paste.
"Rice and Kimchi for Breakfast, Rice and Kimchi for Lunch, and Rice and Kimchi for Dinner" were the merry words Bella had sang the next morning, and were in point of fact what the entire Pack had had that day. She had packed them all lunch. It was a lunch consisting of fermented vegetables. Just because she packed it in an air tight container...she had snorted when Paul actually passed out from the smell of just Kimchi. Apparently enhanced senses weren't a good thing all the time.
And on the third day, Bella had rested, and it was good. And her brother had apologized profusely. The entire Pack had gotten on his case when neither Emily nor Bella cooked. They had attempted to subsist on take out, but they couldn't manage it and feel full without going broke. The Pack had been rewarded with a sumptuous feast on the fourth day.
But now it was day seven, and Bella was again contemplating a food strike.
"I just want to cheer him up. He's been in the doldrums since Embry phased and has refused to hang out with him, on your orders," Bella growled out herself. She had never been one for fights in the past. Maybe it was the fact she now had a sibling, but it seemed the only one she ever got in arguments with was Sam.
"No," was all Sam growled out. Apparently, the only time he ever lost his cool was when he argued with her. At least it wasn't all one way.
Bella threw her hands up in exasperation, "Oh of course! Let not the poor fragile, ephemeral creature be plagued by the ever so ineffable reasoning of the ever so glorious eternal!" she cried in mock adulation. Sam's eyebrow started twitching a steady tick, and Bella could swear she felt her bones vibrate with the subsonic growl he let out.
The rest of the pack just looked at her funny while Emily laughed. They hated it when Bella used big words, especially when they couldn't understand said big words.
"He could phase, I don't want you getting hurt," Sam breathed out after doing his best to enshroud himself in an aura of calm.
Bella just arched an imperious eyebrow at him.
Sam rolled his eyes, "He likes you," was all the older werewolf grumbled, as if Jacob deserved to be executed for the crime.
Bella blinked. Her brother, the giant werewolf, was being overprotective and didn't want her to see Jacob because he was afraid that his pure little sister might be tainted by the big bad wolf. Bella blinked slowly.
However, Bella caught the furtive, ashamed glance he cast towards Emily.
"You're afraid he won't imprint on me," Bella breathed out. It all made sense now, his constant insistence that Jacob in particular wasn't good for her. He didn't want to isolate her from the Pack, in point of fact, it appeared to be quite the contrary. He was quite eager for the wolves to treat Bella like family and vice versa. What Sam was worried about was Bella forming any sort of connection to Jacob before he phased. He didn't want Bella to end up like Leah.
Sam's eyes shot to hers, Bella's whisper had been so quiet not even the other werewolves had heard, to say nothing of Emily. It had been just for her big brother.
She saw it there, the pain and the guilt and the sorrow, it was warring with the contentment and the happiness. And Bella knew instantly he wouldn't wish those feelings on anyone, even the vampires.
Bella turned towards the stairs without another word, trudging up each stair dutifully.
"I'll make some Key Lime Pie for breakfast tomorrow," she muttered loud enough for the Pack's ears to pick up. A chorus of whoops and howls followed her as she walked into her room, smirking at her Pack's – her family's – satisfaction.
Despite her resolution not to torture her brother and the Pack with another bout of greenery and fermented cabbage, Bella still decided to hang out with Jacob. He needed her and she needed him. He had revealed, more than once, his trepidation at the Pack's interest in him and Quil. His and Quil's sentiments had only become that much more poignant after the loss of one of their best friends.
Sam didn't want to think that his actions were having a detrimental effect on the others, but it was. She knew that Sam didn't intend to cause harm, but he was worried about the secret of the wolves spreading. The only problem was, they had to be let in on the secret some time or another, why not do it early so they had time to brace themselves for what was to come?
And then there was imprinting. Jacob hadn't quite made himself clear in his advances on her, but then again, Bella had never been on e to see these things for what they were either. That being said, Jacob was her light, he was that bright ebullient force in her life that guided and aided her, just as she was now trying to reassure and ground him while they walked to lunch.
"Look, I know the guy is your brother and all, Bells, but you've got to be at least a little creeped out by the fact he and his clones are always lurking everywhere half naked," Jacob muttered to her. Oh, and then there was the fact that Jacob was highly agitated that Sam was her brother.
"Jacob, I'm not going to start feeding you the 'Sam is the greatest thing to happen to the tribe' junk that you hear from your dad and the other elders," Bella said gently, referring to the constant arguments Jacob had gotten into with Billy over Sam and his behaviour, "but I am going to tell you that while, yes, he does definitely seem a bit shady and weird most of the time, it's just because the Council have given him a lot of responsibilities. He and his...friends are just trying to cope with whatever it is the Council has them do," Bella reassured, patting Jacob on the bicep before he slung his arm around her in a familiar fashion.
Jacob had shot up recently, too. It was just another sign that he was going to change soon. The school year had started with Bella and Jacob being almost even in height, Jacob sporting an inch or two more height than her. Now, however, Jacob was at almost a full six feet, and sported lean musculature that, while not as impressive as the bulk toted by the other wolves, was close.
That, added to the fact that Jacob and Quil had actually come over to her house once, Sam or no Sam, to study and flirt, had put Sam on edge. He didn't want them near her. End of story.
Bella, of course, casually went about defying the nominal chief of the tribe she was allegedly part of. She still couldn't believe it, as she was as white as a dove, but that was immaterial.
"Oi, white girl!" Bella heard a familiar voice ring out, sharply mirroring Bella's own somewhat prophetic thoughts. She just sighed and turned around to see Leah marching towards her.
"Yes, Leah, is there something I can do for you?" Bella said with a sincere smile suffused with polite warmth. Leah twitched back slightly. It was how Bella always dealt with the bullies. They were constantly off-put by her kindly demeanour, servile or no.
"I want to talk to you in private for a sec," Leah said impatiently as she tapped her foot on the ground in a steady rhythm, her balance regained after Bella's initial non-vampiric sparkling wore off.
Jacob had arched an inquisitive eyebrow at Bella at that. It was widely known that Leah hadn't been the sweetest girl in the world, even before the whole debacle with Sam. Her breakup with what the entire school had known was the love of her life had only made her that much more confrontational. And the entire school certainly knew that she had expressed clear distaste for Bella, as the new woman in her former lover's life.
Bella just smiled at him and waved towards the cafeteria by way of reply, signalling that she was more than willing to talk to Leah alone. Jacob frowned at that, Bella wasn't one to stand up for herself, despite the occasional argument he had heard her get into with her new brother, she had never bothered to put herself up against the school bullies and their incessant torment.
However, Jacob was Jacob, and acquiesced to her wishes, heading into the Cafeteria along with Quil, whispering to his friend about the potential reasons the "Queen Bitch" could have for asking to talk to his Bella privately.
Once Jacob and Quil were out of earshot, and the hallway was relatively clear, Leah finally decided to speak, "Now that you're scrawny freshman boyfriend is out of the way, I have a favour to ask," she said plainly, her voice blunt and cutting strait to the point.
Bella blushed and looked down, "He's not my boyfriend. And is that usually how you ask for favours?" Bella mumbled as she felt the blood in her face burn her skin.
Leah sighed, agitated more at herself than at Bella's weak rejoinder, "Sorry. Look, I know I haven't exactly been a sugar and sunshine to you...but..." Leah trailed off, unsure quite how to apologize for something that, strictly speaking, wasn't Bella's fault.
Bella just nodded, "Sam," she said in an understanding tone of voice.
Leah just closed her eyes and nodded, holding back a flood of emotions at the still fresh wound.
"But what was the favour you wanted to ask?" Bella inquired, her head tilted to the side.
Leah smiled wanly, grateful for the change in topic, "I...had a few issues after the breakup. I'm behind in Calc right now and I figured you were the best person to help," Leah said with a shrug.
Bella's brow furrowed, "Why would you think that?" she asked confused. There were plenty of other Quileute students that tutored the mathematic subjects, and Bella didn't consider herself particularly intelligent.
Leah turned a conspiratorial smirk towards the girl in front of her, "It's no secret that you were the only reason that dunce Paul managed to actually get above a D on his last Algebra exam. If you can help him, you can pretty much help anyone," she said ruefully.
Bella laughed gently at that, remembering the time she had spent tutoring Paul at Sam's request, "It was just a quick review of the material, I'm sure he would have been fine either way," Bella said depreciatively, obviously sure she had no major role in Paul's success.
Leah just shook her head, "Is it OK if we meet up tomorrow after school to set things up? I have some shit to sort out today," Leah said apologetically. She was grateful that Bella seemed like an actual human. Sure, the girl hung out with freshman all the time, but that was partially her fault for ostracizing her. Leah made a vow to include Bella in more upper class activities. Well, more "stupid kid" upper class activities, as Leah was sure Bella got along just fine with the smarties on the rez.
Leah turned towards the table she usually sat at during lunch, watching Bella smile at Jacob and sit on the opposite side of the table from him and Quil. "Not my boyfriend" Leah played the words over in her mind then snorted. Sure. And she was the Bloody Queen of Fucking England.
Bella smiled at a joke Quil had cracked. Well, she thought it was a joke, Jacob knew better. Quil was a skirt chaser whose reputation was second only to Paul's. Then again, Jacob highly doubted that Quil could ever actually score with her. You highly doubt you could score with her either, a poisonous little voice in the back of Jacob's mind whispered, which he quickly quashed. Yeah, there were rumours about Bella. There were rumours that she had moved in with Sam not only because she had discovered her heritage, but also because of the night she had been found. It had been the same night Edward Fucking Cullen had broken up with her.
Bella had revealed bits and pieces of the encounter to her, and he had pieced it all together from things his dad, and even Sam, had told him. Edward, the pale albino fucktard, had abandoned Bella in the woods after breaking her heart and soul like some sort of defective toy. Jacob stared at Bella's face as it was still lit up in a smile from the joke Quil had made, quickly turning to a blush as Quil followed up his joke with a far more suggestive comment, earning him a smack on the back of the head, courtesy of Jacob.
She was so beautiful when she smiled. She was absolutely radiant when she laughed. Jacob knew she was the only girl for him, the only problem was, that she didn't know he could be the only guy she ever needed. And Sam Uley wasn't helping any.
Bella's slight smile and blush disappeared as she spotted her brother leaning against her truck, a scowl marring what Jacob already considered pretty fugly features.
Bella marched right up to him, Jacob, and Quil as well after a moment's hesitation, following her to confront the large man.
"What is it, Sam, I can drive home by myself," Bella stated more than asked quietly as she stalked up to her older brother.
Sam's eyes bored into Jacob and Quil in turn, fixing the two of them with a look Jacob could only find disturbing. It was like he was waiting for them to do something. Dance the marigold or grow another head or whatever it was, the look that Sam always gave the two of them whenever they encountered one another since his break up with Leah freaked the smaller boy out.
"I asked you not to," Sam replied cryptically, his eyes fixed on Bella now. Jacob let out an internal breath of relief that he wasn't staring at Quil and him anymore.
Bella's gaze narrowed, though it was sort of hard for the small girl to be intimidating, "And I baked you a pie," she replied just as cryptically.
Sam's face twisted into a grimace at that, "Look, I know you don't exactly want to, but-" Sam's words were cut off by a clear female voice.
"Bella, I know I was going to talk to you tomorrow, but I wanted to know...what the hell are you doing here?" Leah snapped upon seeing her ex looming over her new tutor, maybe new friend if Bella proved to be more human than the man standing imposingly before her. And by the looks of things, she was. If the girl had the balls to give Sam a hard time, Leah certainly wasn't going to complain.
"Talking with my sister, Lee Lee," Sam said with sad eyes.
"Don't call me that" Leah hissed as the words left his mouth. She refused to be called that by him. He didn't deserve to call her that anymore.
Sam ignored her, staring pointedly at his sister, who in turn ignored her brother, "Is there something I can help you with, Leah?" Bella asked with a smile and the same tone she had used earlier that day. Leah didn't miss the implication.
Leah smirked slightly at Bella's small jab, maybe the girl had more of a backbone than she let on, "Oh. Yeah. I was wondering if maybe we could start the whole tutoring scene tonight? I know I said I was busy, but I just got some grades back and..." Leah trailed off, her eyes roaming, unwilling to act sheepish.
"Bella," Sam growled out quietly, obviously trying to get his sister's attention.
Bella continued to ignore him, "If you're sure, where do you want to meet up?" she asked with a sunny smile, her tone and manner indicating she gave no heed to the ominous presence at her back.
Jake spoke up at that, doing his best to ignore the fuming Sam, "Would you mind if Quil and I tagged along? We could all meet up at my house if that makes things easier. I know I've been having problems with English again," Jake said with a smile directed at Bella.
"Bella!" Sam rumbled in a low commanding tenor, obviously trying to get his sister to listen to him through sheer will.
Bella remained unconcerned despite the tone, "You've always needed help with English, Jake, I'd be happy to help you two as well, if Leah doesn-"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Sam bellowed, his form visibly shaking.
"'t mind..." Bella sighed as she turned to see her brother look ready to practically rip out of his skin. Everyone was shocked at the sheer volume at which Sam had bellowed, and a deathly silence reigned over the parking lot.
Upon seeing her brother's state of mind she quickly turned to her three companions and mouthed, "Call me later," before handing her brother her keys and getting in the car.
Sam shot a death glare at Jacob, giving the young Quileute just another reason to hate the older man, before climbing into the driver's seat and speeding off, despite the state and nature of Bella's truck.
It took a full five minutes before anyone worked up the courage or wits to go back to their daily routine.
Sam was still shaking as he pulled into the great open area that served as the driveway for the house he shared with Emily. He had nearly ripped the steering wheel from the dashboard several times out of the need to find some way to release all the repressed stress and misdirected rage.
Bella could infuriate him to a degree he had never thought possible. Before his change, Sam knew he had generally been perceived as relatively mild mannered and reclusive. Now that he was a werewolf, even with the attendant temper, Sam still liked to think of himself as still having a considerable fuse. Bella somehow found a way to burn the whole damn thing in mere moments.
Bella and Sam both got out of the car at the same time, neither one acknowledging the presence or anger of the other. Sam waltzed up to the door of his home, only to pause as Bella held out her hand expectantly, the glare directed at his hand indicating the object of her immediate desires. However, Sam knew very well what Bella would do once she had her keys. And, moreover, Sam knew there was but a single recourse he could take as a responsible brother.
Sam smiled at Bella warmly, imitating the smile she had given Leah while ignoring him earlier, and then yanked on the house key. It broke the key ring that Bella used to contain her house key and car key, the two being the only keys she really kept.
Sam could swear he saw a vein on Bella's neck throb as he handed her the house key. She didn't say anything as they walked into the house together.
"No one is going to help Bella get to Jacob's house," Sam said immediately once he walked through the door.
The heads of every one of the Pack members swivelled over to the male half of the brother-sister duo that had just entered before they nodded in unison. This wasn't about to end well.
Bella plastered sugary sweet smile onto her face, "I have a dozen cookies with the name of whoever wants to help me on them," she said sweetly. The Pack's head swivelled the other way. Bella's baking was absolutely phenomenal, and every member of the Pack was willing to defy an almost-Alpha order if it meant a dozen of Bella's cookies.
Sam growled lowly and the Pack's head swivelled again, acknowledging their Alpha's desires.
Emily, on the sidelines, was doing her best to keep a fit of giggles away from the Pack's ears as she saw the entire batch of boys act like little puppies at a ping pong tourney.
Bella brightened her smile by a few watts, "I'll let whoever helps me pick what we eat for dinner for a week," her voice lilting tauntingly. The entire Pack's eyes bulged, even Sam's.
Jared had just opened his mouth to agree to the conditions when Sam growled, "No one is to help Bella get to Jacobs house...ever," he said in what was unmistakably the command of the Pack's Alpha.
Everyone slumped in their chairs, disappointed that they'd missed the opportunity to decide their own food for a week, and somewhat fearful of Bella's culinary wrath. Their fears, however, were unfounded.
"You......." Bella started, her face turning red from an emotion other than embarrassment. Sam's gaze fell tauntingly to her, as if to say, "Ha. Top that."
Bella's phone ringing saved the Pack from the possibility of a month long food strike. Bella's eyes flitted to the caller ID before she strode towards the door.
"Who is it?" Sam rumbled out. They both knew that if Jacob were the one calling, he wouldn't allow her the luxury of a private conversation. However, if the caller were...
"Just someone interested in my services as a tutor," Bella replied nonchalantly as she stepped through the door. Despite her anger at her brother, she would never do anything to truly hurt him, his pack, or his relationship with Emily, and Bella was quite sure that if the Pack found out that Bella was becoming friends with Leah, life would get messy in short order.
Sam, correctly interpreting her comment, said nothing else as he sorted out the patrol schedule with the rest of the Pack. Since there were so few of them, Sam was ordering Jared and Paul to take the next few hours, Sam and Embry taking the rest of the night shift.
The Day shifts was usually just one of them running around while the others did their best to get as much sleep and work done as they had time for. However, with the addition of Embry, time had become less of an issue, but it was still wearying work.
Meanwhile, Bella arranged things with Leah, "So, I guess we're going to meet up at your boyfriend's house then?" she asked nonchalantly.
Bella's brow furrowed in agitation, but she schooled her voice to a calm cadence before responding, "I think Jacob's house would be best, Sam probably won't follow me there, no matter how angry he gets," she speculated, already having given up on correcting Leah's misplaced notions, which Bella hoped was mere teasing.
"Wait, I thought you said Sam had taken your keys, how are you planning on getting here anyway? I don't think your own personal watch dog is going to let small dark and cutsy over to pick you up," Leah said without a trace of actual barb in her tone.
Bella smiled at the somewhat unforgiving nicknames before responding herself, "Oh, I have a spare," she said as she took her shoe off and fished the spare key out from underneath the sole.
She smiled brightly as Embry walked out of the house to phase and run home, this being his only chance to get some sleep before his patrol. Before Embry could phase, however, Bella hoped into her truck and started the engine, peeling out of the clearing as quickly – though still at a safe pace – as possible before she heard her older brother's bellow of displeasure chase after her, "BELLA!"
Bella hummed a springy little ditty as she drove towards Jacob's house, only pausing as a "For Free!" sign caught her eye. She quickly hopped out of her truck and made a quick deal with the dealer looking to get the merchandise off of his hands. He helped her load them into the back of her truck and Bella was on her way again, hoping the acquisition would help bring a smile back to her sun's face.