"You must be exhausted," Victor murmured against my ear, his lips tickling slightly as they ghosted over my skin.
"No, no. I'm really not," I denied, shaking my head lightly against his shoulder. I knew that while the adrenaline was fading, it wasn't exhaustion I was feeling. It was content. "Besides, there's no way I could fall asleep now."
An hour had passed since I told them. One crazy, tear-filled hour consisting of enough hugs and kisses to make me the happiest girl in the world. All of the movement and spinning was making me a little light-headed, so we'd finally slowed down. I was currently cozied up with Victor on the couch. My tears had miraculously dried up, and I was happy to sit around with boys while we had some unexpected free time.
"You can doze off here, Princess," Victor pressed gently, slowly rocking his body side to side against the couch. Since I was on his lap, I swayed along with him. Sleep was enticing, but staying awake was too important to pass up. "I promise not to let Luke put Play-Doh in your hair or super glue your toes together."
"That was one time!" Luke shouted from the kitchen where he was stirring baking ingredients into a bowl, causing me to laugh. His grin was both cheeky and charming as he sent me a wink. I knew he was busy making some sort of celebration cake, which North surprisingly hadn't batted an eye at, but I wasn't sure which flavor. He claimed it was a surprise.
"I don't want to miss anything," I answered quickly, turning around slightly to smile at Victor. I'm not sure if it were physically possible for a smile to be permanently stuck on one's face, but mine hadn't left since Silas and North had carried me over from the windows to join everyone else.
"As you wish," Victor huffed slightly, the sound clashing with his sweet, baritone voice as I snuggled further into his chest. His fingers trailed up and down my sides in a soothing motion.
Sean and Owen had both been standing off to the side for the past ten minutes or so, both heads ducked and discussing something quietly. I didn't have the heart to be suspicious, and they didn't look worried. My eyes were drawn to Gabriel's laptop screen beside me and Victor, where he was staring intently at the screen and mumbling under his breath.
"What are you looking at, Gabriel?" I asked curiously, too lazy to move my head from its comfortable spot on Victor's shoulder.
"Is that Pottery Barn?" Nathan asked, leaning over the back of our couch and eyeing the screen. Something caught his interest and both eyes lit up. "Hmm, that's kinda cute."
Now my curiosity was overpowering my comfort and I shifted on Victor's lap to lean closer to Gabriel. Looking at the screen, I discovered why he hadn't been responding. He was lost in his own little world of online shopping. The screen had endless pictures of toy chests, gliders, changing tables, cribs, and tiny kitchen furniture. My heart melted at the sight, and I felt a surge of excitement.
I'd been so focused so intently on the boys' reactions and the tiny human growing inside of me, I didn't give much thought as to what we would need after it was finished growing.
"Really cute," I agreed softly, eyeing a little girl placing fake food onto the tiny kitchen table. My mind immediately tried to picture miniatures versions of the boys in her place. I pointed towards a comfy looking chair. "Why is that chair in the nursery furniture section?"
Gabriel seemed to snap out of his trance, turning towards me in surprise.
"Oh, that? It's a swivel chair and rocker. You can't tell just looking at it, but it's very similar to the gliders," Gabriel explained, opening up the photo I pointed to and showing me a closer look. "It just gives a different look and is a hell of a lot comfier."
"Hmm," I hummed thoughtfully, smiling when I thought of sitting in one and holding our baby.
A shadow loomed over the laptop, and I leaned back against Victor, looking up to see Silas smiling down at us.
"You've had her long enough, Vic," Silas said, offering a hand to me. "My turn."
Victor sighed, squeezing his arms tighter around me for a moment before letting go.
"If he wasn't so big, I would've demanded five more minutes," Victor murmured against my neck, placing a soft kiss there as I set my hand in Silas's.
"I could be as small as a raisin and you wouldn't be able to keep me from aggele mou, Victor," Silas retorted, pulling me up and keeping one hand wrapped around mine as he led me to the couch across from us.
Kota was snug against one side of the couch, scrolling through something on his iPad while North sat silently next to him.
"What are you looking at, Kota?" I asked him curiously as Silas pulled me towards the couch and dropped down next to North.
"Uh, nothing really," Kota shrugged as I slid onto Silas's lap. North took hold of my knees, swinging them up until my calves fell onto his lap. I tried to peek over North to see what was on Kota's iPad, but he aimed the screen away from me. I looked up to see a blush tinting his cheeks.
"Kota, are you blushing?" I asked in surprise, my lips twitching into a smile. My eyes were puffier than usual from all of the crying, which made my vision a little blurry, but I could've sworn he looked embarrassed.
"Well, shit. Now you really need to tell us what's on that screen," Gabriel said, looking up from his laptop.
"He's just been reading something," North shrugged, wrapping his long, humongous fingers around my sock-covered feet. "I haven't seen a single picture and he's been at it for the last ten minutes. Probably something about Physics."
"Physics, sure," Gabriel snorted, snapping his laptop down and narrowing both eyes at Kota, who was still noticeably quiet. "Fess up."
"Fine," Kota sighed, clearing his throat slightly and tapping the iPad against his thigh. "I downloaded a few pregnancy books."
"Pregnancy books?" Gabriel echoed, his voice slightly louder and drawing the others' attention. "Like the ones women get about 'what to expect when they're expecting'?"
"They make books for men, too," Kota defended, bristling slightly as his shoulders tensed. "I just got a few informational ones to make sure we're prepared."
"How many is 'a few,' Kota?" Sean asked with twitching lips, both him and Owen walking over towards us.
"Seventeen," Kota answered after a beat, tilting his chin up almost defiantly. Gabriel and Nathan snickered quietly, but North leaned towards the iPad and tried to get a closer look at the text.
"Which one are you reading now?" I asked gently, leaning my head back against Silas's broad shoulder. North had started massaging my feet, and it was becoming more difficult to keep my eyes open. Silas's warmth wasn't helping, either.
"Your Pregnancy for the Father-to-Be," Kota answered, turning towards me and offering his warm smile.
"Does it have any of those crazy facts in it?" Gabe asked curiously from his spot across from us. "Like how many diapers you'll go through in the first month? Or if Sang will crave things like pickles with ice cream?"
My stomach rolled at the thought.
"No, it's a little more practical than that," Kota rolled his eyes, flipping the iPad's screen off and on quickly. "There are chapters on pregnancy terms, lifestyle changes, ways to support your partner, and essential steps to prepare for her labor."
"Sounds dull," Gabe rolled his eyes, turning back to the laptop. "I'm sure I can find something better than that."
"What lifestyle changes is it talking about, Kota?" I asked curiously, wondering if it was mostly negative things.
"I haven't finished that chapter yet, but it's mostly areas like health and emotional wellness," Kota explained, scrolling down the page. "Things like an exercise regimen, helping around the house, and a nutrition plan."
"A nutrition plan sounds good, I'll be helping with that," North nodded, his magical fingers working their way up to my ankles as he continued to massage.
"Of course you will," I mumbled under my breath, narrowing my eyes slightly at him. Wasn't it just last week that North said we should all play a new "game" where you only eat meat and food that's green? It didn't work out as well as he'd expected when Luke pulled a green fruit roll-up out of his back pocket.
If Luke wasn't so good at sneaking, I'd be slightly worried that our unborn child would never discover what a cookie is.
"I can speak with Dr. White about getting you some more medically-focused texts, Kota," Sean offered as he walked over behind our couch. "He's been in practice for over twenty years now, and he'll know the best ones."
"That'd be great," Kota's eyes lit up appreciatively.
"Oh shit. This says if a pregnant woman reaches above her head, the umbilical cord could get wrapped around the baby's neck!" Gabriel exclaimed, his eyes widening in alarm as they flew back and forth across the laptop screen.
"That's a lie," Sean snorted, stepping up behind our couch and placing his hands on my suddenly tense shoulders. "There are so many outrageous myths about pregnancy. You just need to ignore them."
"This says wearing high heels can hurt the baby," Gabriel frowned, narrowing his eyes at the screen. "I'm not putting Trouble in flats for nine months straight. What is this shit?"
"A myth, Gabe," Sean laughed, massaging my shoulders as I leaned against Silas. "Although misleading, it does have a spot of truth. During pregnancy, a woman's center of gravity will change and she can become less steady on her feet. Heels can be dangerous then, but by themselves they will not hurt the baby."
"Here, go to this page," Nathan told Gabriel, pointing at something on the screen. "It says actual facts in the description."
"Cool," Gabriel agreed, clicking and re-situating himself on the couch.
"Just because it says facts doesn't mean you should trust it," Sean chided, giving my shoulders one last squeeze before letting go and heading towards the empty couch. He plopped down as Owen came around to sit beside him. "I'd stick to medical journals and articles that have proper citing from medical professionals on them. Internet sites full of advertisements can't be trusted."
"They can be a lot more interesting, though," Nathan grinned, leaning forward to read the screen.
"Hey Sang, get a load of this," Gabriel called over, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. "Did you know that when you're in labor your cervix will dilate to the size of a bagel?"
The room fell silent.
"What?" Nathan breathed out in mild horror.
I just stared blankly at the carpet.
"Damn, I wonder if I could fit my head inside it," Gabriel said thoughtfully, causing me to gag slightly on air.
"Ew!" I cried, my body squirming in disgust at the idea.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Gabe?" North barked, his face pulled into a grimace.
"I was just wondering!" Gabriel defended. "I never said I wanted to try it."
"Is that true, Dr. Sean?" I asked nervously, looking up towards the doctor. "Am I really going to...is it even capable of...that's a myth, right?"
"Don't be worried, Pookie," Sean tried to reassure me, shaking his head. "It's all very natural and a good thing. If you didn't dilate that much, there's no way the head could fit through without tearing your vaginal walls."
Flinching, I put a hand to my stomach. Unsure if I was feeling nauseous or faint, I tried not to think about an actual baby coming out of me. A baby that could possibly belong to Silas.
My breathing started to become shallow, and Silas brought a hand up to rub my thigh soothingly. It had the opposite of a calming effect as I was reminded just how big his hand was. Silas's fingers alone with bigger than hot dogs.
His baby's head would probably be bigger than mine.
Oh my.
"Sang, Sang. Breathe," Sean's comforting voice spoke firmly into my ear. Panting slightly, I looked up to see Sean's worried face hovering over me. "In through your nose, out through your mouth. Deep breaths."
"I can't do this," I shook my head adamantly, horror scenes of a bloody delivery room with a stuck baby flitting through my vision. "I can't fit a baby through there! This is crazy."
"Sang, Pumpkin, yes you can," Sean assured me, squeezing my hand as his other caressed my cheek. "There's a reason they call it the miracle of childbirth."
"There's no way it will fit," I pressed, my head continuing to shake against his head as Silas tightened his arms around me. "What if the baby is Silas's? It'll get stuck and hurt!"
Silas stiffened beneath me, but his fingers continued to rub circles against the skin underneath my sweater.
"Sweetie-pie, I need you breathe," Sean ordered firmly, ignoring my worries as he rubbed a hand up and down my back. "We can talk about this, but first I need you to calm down. Please, Sang, deep breath in."
I breathed in as deeply as I could, gasping slightly as it was cut off and I tried again. Breathing in deeply, I held it for a moment as Sean nodded encouragingly and I let it out through my mouth.
"Again, aggele mou," Silas whispered against my ear, his voice concerned.
I breathed in again, tightening my grip on Silas's forearm before letting the breath out slowly.
"That's my girl," Sean grinned softly, leaning back on his heels as I felt my breathing even out. I kept my gaze locked on Sean's, too embarrassed to look up and see the boys' concerned faces. North's grip had tightened almost painfully on my ankles. The one thing he never knew how to protect me from was myself. I swallowed again before looking up at him, his grip loosening slightly as I offered him a wobbly smile.
"Sorry," I mumbled as his shoulders sank slightly, the room itself seeming to let out of a breath of relief.
"As long as still you're breathing, baby," North spoke gruffly, dismissing my apology as his thumb passed over my anklebone.
"Pumpkin?" Sean caught my attention, still crouched down in front of me. "Are you okay with me checking a few things now? And I'll explain a little more about labor."
"Dr. Sean, I don't know what you even want to check. The baby is so tiny right now," I reasoned, giving him a small smile as I actively tried not to think of how big the baby was eventually going to get.
"I just want to check your vitals and make sure you're healthy," Sean replied, giving me a hopeful look.
"Okay," I gave in, unwinding Silas's arms from around my waist and sliding off his lap. North frowned as he let go of my ankles.
"Gabe, swap spots with us," Sean ordered, leading me over to the couch.
"What spot?" Gabriel scrunched up his face at us. His eyes looked over me in concern before seemingly satisfied as he pointed towards North and Silas's couch. "You want me to sit on Silas's lap?"
"Just move to a spot next to Owen and Nate," Sean rolled his eyes, nodding towards the other couch.
"Oh sure, don't make Owen move," Gabriel grumbled, grabbing up his laptop and notebook before sliding off the couch and shuffling over to the other one. Sean picked up his bag from the floor and ushered me to sit down beside Victor.
"Have a seat, lovebug," Sean chirped, his voice filled with forced cheer as I perched on the edge of the couch.
"Cupcake, do you want to help me pour the batter into this pan?" Luke called softly from the kitchen. I looked up to see his concerned gaze on me as well, before he planted a smile on his face and wiggled his eyebrows playfully. "I'll even let you help lick the bowl. Maybe. If there's any left when I'm done."
"No thank you, Luke," I shook my head, grinning slightly.
"Here you go, Pookie," Sean said, slipping a blood pressure cuff over my hand and sliding it up my arm. He tightened it until my arm a little uncomfortably before he began squeezing the bulb repeatedly and causing the cuff to inflate. My arm began to feel a little numb as he monitored the results before repeating the process again.
"Beautiful," Sean said in approval, leaning forward to kiss my nose as he unfastened the cuff and slid it off my arm. I'd never had a doctor say my blood pressure was beautiful before. "Let's practice your breathing again now."
Sean pulled out a stethoscope as I heard Gabriel telling the others about a site he found that sold penguin-shaped urinals for toddlers.
"Who would want to piss in that?" North scowled.
"I don't know, it looks pretty cool," Nathan remarked thoughtfully, making me giggle a bit.
"Deep breath in through your mouth, Pookie," Sean ordered, placing the stethoscope against my chest. I inhaled deeply, holding it for a moment before he nodded and I let it out.
"Good girl," he cooed, moving a few inches to the left and nodding. "Again."
Breathing in again, I looked across the coffee table to see Silas and North speaking quietly to each other. Kota was back to reading his iPad. Nathan and Gabriel were huddled over the laptop again, and Owen was scrolling through his phone. I felt that itchy feeling of being watched, and after a quick glance to see Luke placing a pan in the oven, I turned to see Victor gazing intently at me. His eyes were simmering on low as his lips parted in a warm smile.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Victor murmured, scooting slightly closer on the couch while still leaving room for Sean's bag between us.
I reached out and picked lightly at the zipper on the medical bag, stalling a little as I considered it.
"Not right now," I decided, sighing as Sean moved the stethoscope lower to my stomach. "If I think about it too much, I feel myself starting to freak out again."
"Sang, your body was made for this," Sean assured me, nodding for me to take a deep breath again. "Women have been doing it long before epidurals or c-sections. If, and I mean this as a very strong if, something goes wrong then we'll have the best team of doctors on the East Coast there to make sure everyone is okay."
"I don't want to think about it right now," I shook my head tightly, the visions of a baby getting stuck and being smothered returning with a vengeance. I took another deep breath, pushing them out of my mind. Sean squeezed my knee lightly as I let the breath out. "I understand what you're saying. It's just scary."
"I'll set us up an appointment with Dr. White to go ease your worries later," Sean said, placing the stethoscope in his bag before pulling out a light stick.
"Dr. White?" I echoed, remembering him mention that name earlier. "Why not Dr. Swan? I've been going to her for years now. I trust her."
"Dr. Swan is a great OB GYN, but she isn't as experienced with actual pregnancies or childbirth," Sean dismissed easily, pulling my chin down as he shined the light inside my open mouth. "Dr. White is our most established delivery doctor at the hospital. He would've been your regular OB GYN if these cavemen behind me understood that a man could look at a woman's private parts with purely medical intentions."
"You didn't see him look at Sang's ass when we visited one afternoon," Nathan argued from his couch.
"Kenneth is a happily married man who is also twenty years Sang's senior," Sean responded in exasperation, moving the light up to flicker back and forth between my eyes. "Look up, sweetheart."
"Dr. White also has a daughter who is about Sang's age," Owen added calmly.
"That hasn't stopped men before," Gabriel snorted with a frown. "Plenty of grandpas have girlfriends not even half their age."
"Have you had any soreness lately, Pookie?" Sean asked, cutting off the conversation as he turned off the light and leaned forward to kiss my nose again.
"No," I shook my head as he pressed two fingers against different areas on my throat. "No soreness. Well, maybe just a little after exercising with Kota and Nathan, but that's always happened."
"Each woman's first trimester is different, but that's usually a good sign," Sean explained, then his fingers paused against my throat as he seemed to realize something. "How far along did Phil say you were?"
"Oh shit," Gabriel exclaimed, looking up from his laptop as I jumped slightly. His eyes were wide as he looked at me. "We didn't hear anything about the appointment besides him saying you were pregnant!"
"Yeah, what all happened before the blood tests?" Nathan asked curiously, leaning forward in his seat. "Did Dr. Roberts see a pregnant glow or something? Or is he psychic?"
"I, well," I stuttered, feeling overwhelmed as all of their eyes focused on me. Luke had slipped onto the floor in front of Gabriel, and I was struggling to remember what happened in the whirlwind of my appointment.
"How did Phil tell you, Pookie?" Sean pressed lightly, and I held his eyes for a moment to make sure there were no hidden feelings. Sean may have complained a bit about Dr. Roberts being my doctor, but I didn't want him to be hurt about Dr. Roberts being the first to know. However, his curiosity sounded sincere.
"Yeah, Trouble! Tell us fucking everything!" Gabriel exclaimed, his knee bouncing restlessly as Luke's eyes lit up in front of him. "How did Dr. Roberts know? What did he say?"
"Was he surprised?" Luke asked, grinning up at me. "Did he faint? Did you faint? I wonder if a fetus can faint."
"Well, it happened at the end of my checkup," I explained, running my fingers lazily back and forth against my sweater hem as everyone gave me their rapt attention. "Dr. Roberts asked if I had any questions and noticed anything...odd about my health recently."
"Odd? Did you notice something and not tell us?" North asked, and I looked over to see his eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"I didn't actively keep anything from you guys," I denied, shaking my head. "I would've told you if I had known it was weird."
"What was it, Sang?" Victor asked softly from beside me. He moved Sean's bag so he could scoot closer, picking up one of my hands and squeezing lightly.
"Well, I was actually just trying to make a joke," I admitted, blushing slightly at my social awkwardness. "I told Dr. Roberts that some sweet foods had started to taste a little sour to me recently."
"Sour chocolate?" Luke asked aloud, his nose scrunching cutely. "That sounds like the worst punishment ever."
"Phil knew to get your bloodwork done just based off that?" Dr. Green asked, his eyes lighting up. "I'm surprised he'd be so aware of the lesser common symptoms like that."
"He said his sister had the same symptom," I explained, shrugging slightly.
"How far along are you?" Sean repeated curiously.
"Umm," I wracked my brain, trying to think back to everything Dr. Roberts said. Everything after the word "pregnant" felt like I was hearing it underwater, and I couldn't sort through everything. "I'm not sure."
"Didn't Dr. Roberts say?" Owen demanded, his voice direct.
"He said a lot of stuff," I hedged, licking my lips lightly. "It didn't really sink in."
"One of us should've been there," North stated, his tone laced with frustration.
"No," I shook my head, trying not to frown. "No. I think I can handle going to the doctor alone, North."
"I know that, Sang," North responded, his voice a little tight. "But I also know it's a lot of information and not something you should find out alone. I know you were overwhelmed."
"I was," I smiled softly. "But I wanted all of you to find out together. It wouldn't have been fair for someone to find out before everyone else."
"Sang's right, and what's the big deal?" Nathan asked from the couch across from me. "She was overwhelmed and missed a little information; it's not the end of the world. We're going to have a lot of doctor visits, ones we can all be at."
"I'll set something up with Dr. Roberts to go over everything," Owen declared, pulling out his phone and walking towards the kitchen. Sean rolled his eyes before standing up, grabbing his medical bag and heading for the stairs.
"Are you still shopping?" Luke asked Gabriel as he jumped up to snag Owen's seat on the couch.
"Nah, looking at more pregnancy facts," Gabriel said, tilting the laptop slightly to show Luke. "There's some pretty awesome stuff here."
"That is most likely not true," Kota added, his eyes glued to the iPad.
"Oh cool, look at this!" Luke exclaimed, tilting the laptop closer to him.
"Oy, watch it!" Gabriel cried, frowning as Luke grabbed the laptop.
"It says if you resist food that you crave during pregnancy, your baby will come out resembling that food," Luke read in amazement, his eyes calculating as he pinned me with a look. "That's it, Sang. You're officially grounded from eating chocolate chip pancakes."
"You want a pancake baby?" North asked flatly as the rest of us laughed.
"Better than a broccoli one," Luke shot back, grinning playfully.
"I think a pineapple baby would be pretty cool," Gabriel smirked, taking the laptop back scrolling further down the list.
"Good news," Owen voice carried from the kitchen has he slipped the phone back into his pocket. "Dr. Roberts has an opening at 3:30."
"When?" I asked in confusion as Owen walked back towards us. Had he already scheduled something for this week? I wouldn't put it past him. "Tomorrow?"
"This afternoon," he confirmed, continuing forward until he was standing right in front of me with an open palm held out in offering.
"But...but that's in thirty minutes," I managed to say, staring at his hand in question.
"Exactly, so we need to get moving," Owen ordered, motioning with his hand for me to take it. I reached up slowly, slipping my hand into his and he pulled me up while turning towards the room. "Work out driving arrangements. Victor, you'll be with Sang, Sean and I as soon as Sean returns downstairs."
The boys nodded in agreement. We tended to have pre-arranged cars most of the time with me being the floater, so everyone started heading towards the foyer. The boys were smiling, and my own grin widened when Owen leaned down to plant a soft kiss on my cheek.
"Oh shit, this one says babies start pissing in the uterus during the second trimester," Gabriel cringed as he looked as his phone. "Then they drink it."
"Ew!" I squealed as Luke snorted a laugh, squeezing Owen's hand as my body spasmed in disgust. "Kota, make him stop reading these lies!"
"Actually, Ten," Kota began slowly, looking at me in hesitation as he held the front door open. "That one's true."