A/n: For the sake of the timeline of events in which Elliot left that are described in this chapter, lets pretend that Jenna's case didn't happen.

When she arrives back at the precinct after lunch, there's a twinkle in her eyes. A glimmer of hope and happiness on her face that hadn't been present in years. There's a certain strength and confidence to her steps that hadn't been present since he was by her side. The squad room is almost empty, Amanda and Sonny had left to go question someone for a case, and she assumes Fin is still at lunch.

Fin is the first to arrive back and immediately notices something different.

"Hey Liv, you meet someone at lunch?" He asks and she laughs.

"Fin, when do I even have time to do that anymore? Seriously."

"You just look..well..happy, refreshed, relaxed, carefree, I haven't seen you with that look since-he-since" She rolls her eyes and her smile widens.

"Fin you can say his name you know."

"That look Liv..that's..that's your Stabler look." She pauses before responding

"He's coming home Fin, Elliot's coming home." She's laughing through tears of joy

and he looks confused for a moment.

"Coming home? Liv I don't know what's going on but, Elliot left everyone even his own kids out of his own free will, he abandoned you like the selfish moron he is."

Her expression changed and she shot him a death glare that, if looks could kill, would have taken him out in an instant. She knew Cragen may not have told the rest of the squad that Elliot had been placed in Witness Protection, so it wasn't Fin's fault, but she immediately felt defensive of her partner. Her tone was low and dangerous when she spoke

"Don't. Ever. Talk About Him. Like That. Again." Fin is silent, shocked by her sudden change in mood.

"Elliot Stabler would never just abandon anyone, especially his kids, and he is not selfish, you hear me?"

"Baby girl, I know you miss him, but it's been 7 years and-"

"STOP!" She cuts him off, and has to remind herself that what he's saying isn't true, that she will see Elliot again in just a few hours. She sees Fin's expression and her glare softens.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry it's just-Cragen didn't tell you did he?"

"Tell me what?"

"7 years ago, El started receiving threats. It started out as just letters, that we thought were harmless and figured it was just some pissed off perp we had locked up. Then one day Kathy called him while we were on a stakeout, she was crying uncontrollably. Said someone had left a voicemail message at their house saying they knew where he lived and they would kill him and his family in their sleep." Liv is shaking now, remembering her own fear she felt at the thought of losing him permanently. "I had never been so scared in my life, and I made him stay with me that night so he would be safe. Kathy took the kids to her parents house. We had no idea who they were or how they knew Elliot, just that his life was in serious danger. We called Cragen and told him and he told us to come to the precinct and stay in the cribs cause we would be safer there. Then-" She doesn't realize she's crying or close to hyperventilating until Fin helps her sit in the chair at the desk.

"Cragen called us into his office that next morning and told us that..that they had found a bomb..rigged to our squad car-"

"Oh my god Liv"

"Whoever this was, they hated Elliot and they wanted to kill him and the people he cared about. They had been following him, we think, for awhile and were planning a time to strike. Elliot never seemed as worried for himself as he was about his family and the squad-"

"You mean you Liv, he worried about you way more than he worried about us. He loved you, deeply, we could all see it. That's why him leaving was such a surprise."

"I know he does..and I love him too..so much, but neither one of us could act on it you know? It wasn't appropriate, he was married and we were partners. It would have caused all kinds of problems. Anyway he completely ignored the fact that the bomb had been planted to kill him too and demanded that Cragen put a detail on me. I was so frustrated with him for ignoring the threat to his own life, I tried to tell him this wasn't about me but he wouldn't listen. I guess we were both just scared and worried and protective of each other and ended up not really speaking for most of the day, but we never left each other's side. He still drove me home that night, like he always did, and stayed with me. We ended up ordering takeout and talking for hours, opening up about how scared we were for each other. It was unusual for us you know? We were the type of people who kept our feelings inside, opening up like that was rare."

She sniffles and wipes her tears before continuing. "He didn't come right out and tell me he loved me that night, but I think..looking back on that conversation..I think I knew. He told me he wasn't gonna risk my safety or his kids without taking precaution. That we were too important to him to lose."

"You guys were his world Liv" He replies gently, assuming the worst.

"Are, present tense..he's..he's not dead Fin." She corrects but smiles to let him know she's not angry with him. "He's my world too, before Noah he was the only family I really had. The longest relationship I ever had. We went into work together the next morning and Cragen called him into his office. That was the day he had me work cases with you, because he figured it would be safer for Elliot to stay at the precinct until whoever was threatening him was caught. We got back to the squad room a few hours later and.." She trails off, fighting back more tears. "That was when Cragen called me into his office and said that El had put his papers in. That he was gone and wasn't coming back. I never heard from him after that and I was devastated, and terrified that something might have happened to him."

"He left to protect you, ok that makes sense, I'll accept that, but he still could have called you."

"Not exactly. He DID leave to protect me but, it's not what you think. 3 years went by with no contact whatsoever, I just assumed he couldn't take the fear anymore. But I didn't understand at the time either, why he couldn't have at least called me to let me know he was ok. Why he didn't say goodbye. I was terrified that he might have gotten hurt, or worse." Her voice broke at the thought. Pull yourself together, he's ok, you'll see him soon. "Then-" She pauses momentarily, as if worried that saying the next part out loud would bring her assailant back to life. She notices her wrist feels sore, as if remembering being broken. When she takes a deep breath and continues, her voice is small and quiet and she's looking down at the floor.

"Then..then Lewis..happened." She's shaking, and Fin is immediately at her side. She hadn't opened up to them about all that happened, even in court..and Fin wonders if the situation was worse than she let on, as it is clear that she's still haunted by the memory. Still, she pushes herself to continue.

"Liv..did he-"

"Not now Fin I..I can't talk about that he right now ok I-you asked about Elliot, not Lewis, please just.. let me talk about Elliot." She pleads as if reaching for an anchor, for the strength even thinking about her partner provides. Saying Elliot's name twice seems to keep her afloat and block memories of Lewis from consuming her. Lewis is dead, Elliot isn't. Elliot will be here soon, I'll feel safe again soon. Elliot wouldn't let anyone hurt me. Elliot will protect me, like he always has. She tells herself in order to control her breathing. Fin immediately feels guilty and wraps her in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry baby girl, I'm so sorry, you don't have to tell me anything about that scum. Just think about Elliot ok, just Elliot." She's trembling like a leaf, and he walks into her office for a minute and brings out the framed picture she kept of her and Elliot at one of the precinct Christmas parties. Placing it in her hands in hopes that seeing her partner's warm smile will keep her grounded, keep her in the present. It helps a little, and she continues, looking at the picture to hold herself steady.

You're thinking about someone aren't you, mom? Dad? Boyfriend? No, someone else, someone you would give anything to see just one more time...you'll scream their name, hoping they'll come save you but they can't. The flashback hits her, hard and unexpected and she sinks down to the floor. She ended up doing exactly what Lewis told her she would do, calling out for her 'knight in shining armor' when she was too scared and helpless to fight. Elliot..Elliot where are you? Help me..please..El I need you...please help me. She had screamed and sobbed while he..he..

Fin is kneeling down next to her, realizing she's having a bad flashback and trying to coax her back to the present.

"Liv, Liv it's just me, it's Fin, you're safe. Lewis isn't here. Tell me about Elliot Liv, your partner, Elliot Stabler. Don't think about him anymore Liv, just Elliot..just your El. You don't have to finish the story if it relates to what you're thinking about right now. Tell me where Elliot is Liv, that's what you were trying to explain right? You said he's coming home, which means you've been back in touch with him, so that's good. Where's Elliot Liv? Just Elliot."

"Elliot?" She whimpers, her panic still there but slowly fading,

"Yeah, that's it Liv. You're not there, wherever your mind just took you, you're here in the squad room with me, trying to set me straight for calling Elliot selfish. You were trying to tell me what really happened to him but that might be a little too much for you right now."

"I-I"

Her phone rings and she jumps, panic beginning to set back in. Fin looks at the caller ID and answers, thinking that maybe hearing the caller's voice will help her. While he wasn't Elliot, Nick was there when Lewis happened and would understand.

"Liv-"

"Where is Elliot? I need him, where is he? Lewis is gonna-oh god, help me..please!" She sobs into the phone.

"Hey Liv, Fin told me you were having a flashback, it's gonna be ok. No one's gonna hurt you I promise, it's all over. It's just me, it's just Nick." Nick's voice is gentle and soothing, not as much as Elliot's but enough that it breaks through her panic a little.

"N-Nick?"

"Hey partner. I was calling because I wanted you to know that Elliot's plane is getting ready to land, I just got an alert on my phone."

"His-his plane?" Her mind is still a blur between past and present and it takes her a minute to register what he's saying.

"Yeah, I'm gonna text him alright, I'll tell him he needs to get to the precinct as soon as he can, I'll let him know you need him ok?"

"Ok"

"And I'll tell Fin where he's been ok, that way you won't have to talk about it anymore."

"T-Thank you" Her panic is fading, but her hand is still shaking as she gives the phone back to Fin. There's a pause for a few minutes as Nick is likely explaining that Elliot's been in Witness Protection, and that the first time he and Olivia talked again was right after the Lewis ordeal, which is what triggered her flashback and panic attack. Fin's voice seems distant as Liv is trying to come back into the present, but she hears him say

"Witness Protection? Ok, that makes a lot more sense. God I'm such an idiot, shouldn't have just thought he would just abandon her. They're letting him come home?" It's with those words that she breaks out of the nightmare she was reliving in her mind and remembers that Elliot was coming home. It's all over, everything's ok. Breathe, just breathe. She is back in the present at last and immediately feels embarrassed and ashamed. She's a seasoned SVU lieutenant who just had a breakdown in the middle of her squad room. How pathetic. She should be able to take care of herself, she shouldn't need anyone to come to her rescue. She had brought that up to Elliot once, after Sealview, and he had told her that there was no shame in needing someone. She was still a human, even though she was a cop, and being scared didn't make her weak. Having a full blown panic attack at work though just seemed unprofessional to her and she was glad Fin was the only one around to see it. She excused herself back into her office when she noticed Amanda and Sonny getting off the elevator. She wasn't embarrassed to break down in front of Fin, he had known her for years and had seen her at her worst. The younger detectives though didn't have that kind of friendship with her yet, and for them to see their boss falling apart in the middle of the room would be unacceptable. Her tears of panic mixed with tears of shame and she closed her door and allowed herself to sob softly at her desk.

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She must have cried herself to sleep, because she opens her eyes and notices it's darker outside her window. It's not too late though, because lights are still on in the squad room and Fin, Amanda, and Sonny are all still working at their desks. There was a knock on the door that made her jump slightly, panic from her flashback earlier still lingered. She wipes her eyes, clears her throat and attempts to make herself look presentable before saying

"Come in"

The man who enters her office is a bit thinner than she remembers, but still muscular. What's left of his hair is turning grey and he's starting to grow a goatee on his formerly clean shaven face. He's older, but those blue eyes, that are looking at her lovingly, beginning to form tears are still calming. His smile, possibly wider than she's ever seen it, still makes her heart warm. He's still

"Elliot?" She asks, and wonders if she's dreaming. Clearly hoping but not daring to believe. He closes her door and steps in fully. He is careful as he walks closer to her. Fin had told him she had a flashback earlier and that she might be a little jumpy, but that she really needed him. He can't even form words because he would probably start crying, and she needed him to be strong for her right now. She needed a rock to lean on.

She stands shakily as he reaches out his arms to her and she's there in seconds, wrapped up in his embrace. They hold onto each other as tight as possible without causing pain, refusing to let each other go. She's sobbing uncontrollably from relief and happiness and he can feel her shake against him, her earlier panic still in the back of her mind. They'll talk and catch up later, for now he just comforts her like he wished he had been able to do when they had that first phone call after Lewis.

"It's alright Livia, it's alright, I'm here now, I've got you sweetheart, let it out, I've got you. You're safe now, I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you." He holds her tight and sways them from side to side, comforting her as she cries. He doesn't ask her anything, just holds her, whispering words of comfort in her ear. She buries her face into his neck, breathing in his scent she missed so much. He places a gentle kiss to the top of her head and continues to hold her and comfort her. His arms locked tightly around her are a cocoon, protecting her from the monster who's haunting her thoughts. Shielding her from the storm in her mind. His voice is her security blanket, soothing her, providing her with warmth and love.

She snuggles in closer, taking comfort in his embrace that feels safe and warm, like home. And as she feels the ache in her heart begin to fade, for the first time in 7 years,

She feels whole again.

A/N: Longest chapter I have ever written! Hope you enjoyed their reunion, and there will be more I promise! Next chapter they will talk more, but I liked the idea of ending this chapter like this :) Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season and thanks for reading!