Cut to:
Extreme close-up: movie frame.
It comes into focus and we see it's a penis.
INT. PROJECTIONIST BOOTH. THEATER. NIGHT.
Vash, in the foreground, narrates to the camera. In the background, Wolfwood sits at a bench, looking at individual frames cut out of movies. Near him, the projector rolls a film.
Vash:
Wolfwood was a night person. While the rest of us were sleeping, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come in one big reel, but several, rather. So someone has to be there to change projectors at the exact moment one reel ends and the next begins. If you look for it, you can see little dots coming into the screen in the upper right hand corner.
Wolfwood points to the side of our screen. Two dots briefly appear onscreen.
Wolf:
In the industry, we call them "cigarette burns".
Vash:
That's the cue for a changeover. The movie goes on and no one in the audience has any idea.
Wolf:
And why would anyone WANT this shit job?
Vash:
Because it affords them other interesting opportunities.
Wolf:
Like splicing single frames of pornography into family films.
Vash:
So when the snooty cat and the courageous dog with the celebrity voices meet for the first time in reel three, that's when you'll catch a glimpse of Nick's contribution to the film.
INT. THEATER.
We see the audience, but not the screen. Cartoon voices are heard. Briefly, there is the sound of a woman moaning, but it is cut off as the film continues. In the audience Meryl sits stunned, glancing to either side to see if anyone else saw it. Millie sits next to her, contentedly munching popcorn; oblivious. Further down, Jet squints at the screen to make sure he wasn't just seeing things, next to him, Spike raises an eyebrow while Faye moves to cover the eyes of Ed, who's wearing a quizzical expression on her face.
Vash:
Wolfwood pretty much sticks to close-ups, like a four-story tall erection, slippery, red and terrible, or a Grand Canyon vagina with an echo, twitching with blood pressure as Cinderella dances with her Prince Charming. People watch. Nobody complains. Afterwards, moviegoers feel sick or start to cry and don't know why.
Wolf:
Nice. Big. Cock.
Vash:
Even a hummingbird couldn't catch Wolfwood at work.
INT. LARGE BANQUET HALL. NIGHT.
Wolfwood moves around one of the many tables throwing food to the patrons. Vash sits in one of the chairs at the same table. He turns to the camera behind him.
Vash:
Wolfwood also worked sometimes as a banquet waiter at the luxurious Pressman Hotel.
INT. SERVICE ELEVATOR. NIGHT.
Vash turns and we pan to Wolfwood, standing by a cart with a giant soup tureen. His hands are on his fly and he's making to piss into the soup.
Vash:
He was THE guerilla terrorist of the food service industry.
Wolf:
Do not watch. I cannot go when you watch.
Vash:
He farted on meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup…well-
Wolf:
Go ahead, tell 'em.
Vash:
You get the idea.
Cut back to:
EXT. LOU'S TAVERN. RESUMING.
Vash:
What do you want me to do? You want me to hit you?
Wolf:
C'mon, do me this one favor.
Vash:
Why?
Wolf:
Why? I don't know why. Never been in a fight. You?
Vash:
Well, not really, but that's a good thing, right?
Wolf:
No it is not! How much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight? I don't want to die without any scars-
Wolf takes two bottles of beer out of his pockets and sets them on the ground.
Wolf:
-so come on and hit me before I lose my nerve.
Vash:
This is crazy.
Wolf:
So go crazy. Let 'er rip.
Vash:
I don't know about this.
Wolf:
Well don't either. But who gives a shit? No one's watching, what do you care?
Vash:
This is crazy. You want me to HIT you?
Wolf:
That's right.
Vash:
What, like in the face?
Wolf:
Surprise me.
Vash:
This is so stupid.
Vash swings wide. A clumsy roundhouse like in the movies, except instead of knocking Wolfwood flat, Vash hits Wolfwood's ear, making a dull, flat sound.
Wolf:
MotherFUCKER! Ow…You hit me in the ear!
Vash:
Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry.
Wolf:
Why the ear, man?
Vash:
Aw, I'm sorry, I screwed it up!
Wolf:
Oh, no, that was perfect.
Wolfwood shoots out a straight punch to Vash's stomach. Vash falls back against a car. His eyes tear up. Wolfwood moves closer to see if he's okay.
Vash:
(coughs)
Nah, that's alright. Wow. That really hurts……hit me again.
Wolf:
No, no, you hit ME. Come on!
Wolfwood punches Vash in the stomach again. They move around, clumsily throwing punches.
EXT. STREET – LATER.
Wolfwood and Vash sit together on the curb. Their eyes glazed with endorphin-induced serenity. Wolfwood is smoking and Vash is drinking a beer. Vash hands the beer to Wolfwood.
Vash:
We should do this again sometime.
Wolfwood smiles and drinks.
EXT. PAPER STREET. NIGHT.
A street sign in the foreground: "Paper Street". A paper mill sits on one side of the road, facing a lone house on the other. The rest of the land is scrub grass and dunes. The house is a grand old three story, long since abandoned. Wolf leads Vash towards it.
Vash:
Where's your car?
Wolf:
What car?
INT. PAPER STREET HOUSE. NIGHT.
Wolf leads Vash through the front door.
Vash (v.o.):
I don't know how Wolfwood found the house, but he said he'd been there for a year. It looked like it was waiting to be torn down. Most of the windows were boarded up.
INT. PAPER STREET HOUSE. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS.
Wolfwood and Vash climb creaky stairs to the 2nd floor landing.
Vash (v.o.):
There was no lock on the front door for when the Marshals or whoever kicked it in. The stairs were ready to collapse. I didn't know whether he owned the place or if he was squatting. Neither would have surprised me.
Wolf opens the door to a bedroom.
INT. ROOM – CONTINUOUS.
Vash enters. Wolf stands in the hallway.
Wolf:
(pointing to the room)
That's you.
(pointing to room down the hall)
That's me.
(points across hall)
That's toilet. Good?
Vash:
Yeah, thanks.
Vash sits on the creaky bed. Dust flies up.
Vash (v.o.):
What a shithole.