***Previously on Cruelty of Life***

Inside the bathroom was Edward hunched over a toilet. He was pasty white and his cheekbones were sunken. He leaned his head on the edge of the toilet seat.

"I'm sorry Bells."

Chapter 3

I don't say a word I just open the cabinet door and pull out a washcloth. After getting it damp I kneel on the floor next to him. I place the washcloth on the back of his neck as he begins to heave more, though there is nothing in his stomach for him to purge. This time tears fall from his eyes. I just wrap my arms around him and shush him. Sobs wrack his body as he curls into my arms.

After what seems like hours, his breathing steadies and I can tell he has fallen asleep. As I count his breaths, I notice a slight bit of wheezing. My cheek rests on the top of his bald head. As I run my hand down his side, I feel every rib protruding through the skin. I take notice of rash on his lower legs and the spots that he has broke the skin from scratching. I try to deny the doctor in me, but the same symptoms I diagnose every day were currently curled up in my arms. It has been years, but I still love the way he feels in my arms, it is just so right.

"Edward we need to move you to your bed." He whimpers in his sleep as I move out from underneath him, but he moves to help me get him into a standing position. Once I got him to the bed, I sat him down and removed his t-shirt and shorts. I got him situated under the covers and noticed a swan tattoo on his chest over his heart. A pain ran through my heart as I thought back to the night I said those hateful words that made him leave. He settled back into his slumber and I looked around the room for the first time. There were clothes all over the floor and the stuff that belonged on his dresser was spread across the floor. This is very unlike Edward; he is usually the neat freak.

I grabbed the clothes off the floor, not knowing if they were clean or dirty, and carried them to the laundry room to start a load. I, then, walked into the kitchen and started the dishwasher full of the dishes that were lying around. I occupied myself with cleaning for hours. When I finally looked at the clock, I saw that it was 4:45 am. The exhaustion had finally caught up with me. I decided to check on Edward before falling asleep in the guest room.

Edward slept peacefully on his stomach. I sat on the couch clutching the blanket to me, watching the moonlight dance on his angelic face. As I sat watching him sleep, I realize that I am no longer tired and I think back to the last time that I saw him bald.

It was our senior year of high school. The football team had decided to shave their heads if they made it into the playoffs. What was funnier was that if they won the state championship, they were all going to wax their legs… they did win, 37-35 in double overtime. I remember Edward sitting on stage in the cafeteria with the rest of the team. Everyone's girlfriends were standing behind them with shears in their hands. Edward was the only single one on the team so he had me shave his head. I remember tears fell from my eyes as the first lock of hair hit the floor. After everything was done, I grabbed a lock of hair and placed it in a scrapbook that I gave him after we graduated college, right before he proposed.

"You're staring at me." His velvety voice was full of sleep as it ripped me out of my memories. "What are you concentrating about?"

"State playoffs senior year." He chuckled. "What is it Edward?" he sighed.

"Stage 4 Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I was diagnosed 18 months ago at stage 1. It is now drug resistant." I didn't say anything. "They are now giving me 10 months. I just want to go home." I could see the tears beginning to stream down his cheeks, my own were stinging in my eyes.

"So you're saying, you are done with treatment and you want me to take you home to die?" my voice cracked at the end. "Have you looked into all the options Edward? Seattle Grace is doing amazing things with stage 4 NHL. My team is doing amazing things. Do your parents even know?" He hung his head and shifted up to sit against the headboard, reaching over the bedside table for his glasses.

"No they don't know anything. I haven't talked to them in 2 years, except for the occasional email to my mother, but other than that, no they don't. Bells, I can't go through anymore treatments. Please Bell I just want to go home and try to fix things with my family. I need to try to fix things with you. I was stupid I should have never left." The expression on his face was tortured.

"What do you need me to do Edward?"

"You'll help me?"

"On one condition. You will at least talk to the patients in my program." He agreed and said that he needed to look into apartments.

"Why don't you stay with me? I still have the penthouse. There are three bedrooms not being used, and I haven't touched your office. We don't pay rent on the place."

"Alright, I need to get some things in order here. I need to go to the hospital and get my records, give my resignation and visit the genetic department before I leave. I need to call a moving company to come pack the apartment hand have things shipped to Seattle. Then I need to contact my lawyer here and my family lawyer back home." His eyes were closed as he was trying to list everything he needed to do. I stood from the couch and straddled his knees, being careful to keep my weight off him. I took his face in between my hands, making him look me in the eyes. His emerald green eyes were wet with unshed tears.

"What do you need me to do?" His breathing was shaky.

"Love me?" his voice was that of a small child, highly afraid.

"Edward, I never stopped." My voice was full of tears and sadness. He pulled me in for a kiss, wrapping my hands in his. He broke the kiss as his thumb ran over my engagement ring on my right hand.

"You still wear it? I would have thought you'd have pawned it." He hung his head again. "I screwed up Bells; I put my career before you. Could you ever forgive me?" the tears that once were unshed, were now falling free of his copper lashes.

"Edward," my voice cracked, "I should be asking you this. I said those things to make you leave. I felt I was holding you back. I looked into the program here. I was the best thing for you, I made you leave. I should be begging for your forgiveness. I wear the ring because I couldn't stop thinking about you. I needed a way to keep you near me. I love you Edward. I always have, and always will love you." I pulled him back in for a kiss. Laying his body on top of mine, he deepened the kiss. His hands ran under my shirt, tracing patterns on the skin as they made their way up to my breasts. As he palmed the skin, I gasped. He broke the kiss just long enough to discard the shirt I wore. I had forgotten the way his skin felt against mine, and from the pressure on my thigh, he had too. Simultaneously as my hands went to the waistband of his boxers, our phones started to ring.

"Hi Alice." Edward's eyes widened.

"Don't you 'hi Alice' me. Where are you? I am standing in your apartment right now and you are not here. I know that you aren't in the hospital. Your bedroom looks like it was ransacked. Bella I am scared. Where are you?" I sighed.

"Alice I'm fine. I had a last minute plane to catch." Edward gave me the what-the-hell look. I held my hand up to calm him. "I have been working nonstop on this convention for the last two months and I felt I needed a vacation. I lost a long time patient yesterday so I just wanted to get out of town for a while. So don't worry about me. I am sitting on a beach in the Bahamas with a stiff drink in my hand and a very hot cabana boy. It's just a short sabbatical. The paper work is on your father's desk. Three weeks that's all I am taking."

"Bell you would tell me if something was wrong…right?" Shit she's on to something.

"Ali you would be the first to know if anything was wrong. Now Ali I have to go the cabana boy wants to rub more sunscreen on me." I was trying to get her off the phone.

"Alright call me when you get back." She hung up the phone and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Wow Bell you are a better liar now. If I hadn't been sitting here I would have almost believed you." Edward quipped while tracing patterns on my stomach.

"Well you had better hope that she believed me because if she doesn't, we are both screwed. She will be on the next flight to New York. Besides you believed me all those years ago." He looked down at his hands.

"I have an appointment at noon so we should get ready. Take a shower with me?" I nodded and followed him into the bathroom. I leaned against the sink as he fiddled with the shower taps.

"What was your phone going off for?" he moved to lean against me, wrapping one arm around my waist and the other reaching for the medicine cabinet. He pulled out a large blue case.

"It's time for my pills. My phone is set to remind me." He opened the Thursday compartment and dumped out a handful of pills.

"Still take pills with apple juice?" I slipped out of his grasp as he nodded and padded my way into the kitchen. I grabbed a glass of juice and took a pack of saltines out of the basket on the counter. Once back in the bathroom, I first handed him the saltines. "You know better than anyone not to take those on an empty stomach." He quickly ate the crackers and then took the juice from my hand. He then removed my pants and thong as well as his boxers and pulled me towards the shower.

I grabbed his body wash and loofa. I pushed him down on the bench and began to lather his chest. I knelt down in front of him and carefully washed his legs and feet.

"I have a cream in my bag for these." He hummed and I noticed his head was lolled back against the tile wall with his eyes closed. His member laid hardening against his thigh. I pressed my thumb to a sensitive spot on his foot and he moaned and his dick twitched. With a smirk I took his dick in my mouth, making him jump and curse.

"Holy fuck B."

I sucked him deep into my mouth and hummed. He restrained his hips from bucking up and his hands went to my hair. I pulled back, lightly dragging my teeth up his shaft. I wrapped my hand around the base and flicked my tongue over the head. His breathing sped up as I increased the speed of my pumps and my other hand went to fondle his balls.

"Bell…come…do…don't swallow." I pulled back and the thumb on his balls pressed on the sensitive spot behind his balls. That was his undoing. His cum mixed with water and soap as it swirled down the shower drain. He hissed from sensitivity as I released him.

"Oh god Bells…oh god." My fingers ran over the swan on his heaving chest. I got that shortly after that car accident I got after coming here, after mom and Alice left." I remembered sitting in the Cullen house when they got the call that Edward had been in a car accident after driving drunk. Esme and Alice were on the next flight to New York. Luckily Edward had not hit another vehicle. He ran into a light pole after passing out.

I turned to grab the shampoo and he gasped. I felt his fingers ghost over the tattoo on the left side of my ribs. "The blue and pink beads make a bracelet. B.C. is for Baby Cullen. 3/24/2007, our baby's birthday." Tears began to collect in my eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me we had a child?" his voice was harsh.

"We don't." My voice cracked and was full of emotion.

"You aborted my baby?!?" he was livid. I slid down to the floor and hugged my knees.

"No. No I didn't abort our baby Edward! I lost it, the same weekend of your accident. I was staying at the house when your parents got the phone call. Esme and Alice left to catch their plane and I went upstairs to take a shower. Carlisle was downstairs when he heard my scream. He ran upstairs to find me on the bathroom floor surrounded by blood. He rushed me to the hospital and we found out I was miscarrying. I didn't even know that I was pregnant Edward. The whole family thinks that it was appendicitis. Carlisle had everything cleaned up and my medical records altered. He has the original records in the safe in his office. I was 6 weeks along." He moved to the floor and took me into his arms, muttering apologies in my ear until the water ran cold and we were forced to vacate the shower.

Sorry it took so long to update this one. Please review. This is the first time I have posted something remotely lemony…