Chapter Four
'We'll take a picnic' he'd said.
How was it he had gotten out of all the preparations then?
Padmé tossed a datapad into the large basket. The lid had to be coaxed into snapping shut.
"I'm ready," she called loudly.
"I'll be there in a minute," Anakin's voice called back.
Her mind danced ahead of her, wondering what he was doing in the workroom he'd found around the back. After walking in on him yesterday and being sprayed with grease she wasn't particularly game to seek him out again. But she was glad he'd found something to entertain himself. There was that feeling again. That soon the great hero would be bored.
Relying on him being more than a minute she left their picnic basket near the door and went to look over the baby's room. Right now it still looked like the office it had always been. Large, dark-wood desk. Holo receiver. Bookshelves. Tomorrow, she promised herself. Tomorrow they would begin cleaning out this room. Because her baby was going to sleep in a cradle right underneath that window where a coat-stand now covered the gorgeous view.
"Ready?" a calm voice asked in her ear.
She nodded as she felt him standing behind her. He peered around her shoulder and looked over the grand study thoughtfully.
"Is this the baby's room?"
"I'd like it to be," she replied.
Padmé turned slightly into him, her hands resting comfortably on his chest as she surveyed the grand view out the clear window. Almost as an automatic response he slipped his arms over her shoulders.
He held her for a moment and surveyed the space. But his mind was obviously on the here and now, not the future. The baby's arrival was far off and would wait. Right now they had each other, and should savour every moment of it.
"Let's go," he breathed into her ear.
He kissed the lobe briefly then captured her hand and led her away. His insistence on holding her hand was bringing a begrudging acceptance from her. She didn't like to feel so physically trapped all the time. Especially since she wasn't used to it. Yet at the same time there was a part of her that basked in the emphasis he placed on such an innocent act. He used the connection to convey his reactions as she talked to him, squeezing and stroking her fingers every now and then, filling up her awareness with him.
The basket swung up over his other arm and together they made a peaceful trek up to the shaak grazing fields.
At her side Anakin surveyed the unchanged waterfalls, gushing more liquid than a Tatooine resident could hope to see in a lifetime.
"You fell in love with me here" came tumbling out of his lips.
Padmé hadn't been here since that time before they were married either. Somehow the purity of the memory was not spoiled by the reality in front of her. It made her feel younger, carefree. Something Anakin seemed to encourage as they discarded all contact with the friends they'd left behind and took the time to explore one another. It was fulfilling, liberating.
She leant down and picked at a select few of the meadow flowers, weaving them into her hair as they stood looking over the paddocks.
"I fell for you long before we came here," she acknowledged then halted herself and looked away when his intent gaze rounded on her.
He looked so cute, his face scrunched up like it was a total surprise. Her tall handsome partner looking so disagreeable because she may have loved him for a few more days than he was aware of.
"You could have told me!" Anakin was indignant.
---
She shook her head and started walking higher up into the grasses, pausing atop a low rise. He scurried after her, watching with interest as she pulled a blanket from inside the basket and laid it out.
"I was heartbroken that you kept rejecting me," he tried to guilt her into looking at him.
Unfortunately, he couldn't hide the little smirk that weaselled its way onto his face. Somehow, having her as his adoring bride now, had stripped all the pain associated with those memories. Instead of feeling the aching grief from having her refuse him, he could only laugh lightly at being previously denied. It was hard to be bitter when the same person sat beside him, someone he was so utterly in love with, who was so accepting of his attentions.
There was no jealousy of possible other lovers – the ones he had been so sure would win her affections. Now she carefully lowered herself to the rug, showing that she was carrying his child and smiling at him in earnest.
"I was terrified by your political leanings," she remembered then eyed him curiously. "I think I still am."
He leaned into the basket and pulled out lunch.
"I thought we agreed to disagree? Anyway, no politics. No war," he insisted as he leaned over and handed her a plate.
Her curly hair fell over her shoulder for a second. He stopped to watch as she brushed it back, then gracefully accepted the crockery he offered. Above them the sky was bright and clear with the autumnal sunshine, glinting off highlights in her hair. For a brief second he hoped the baby would start to make her look unattractive. Because at the moment he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Her rounded belly was only making her more beautiful. Not to mention how its mere presence seemed to spark vitality back into her spirit that the war had been slowly draining. If she kept going in this vein he may never look at anything else again.
"Alright. What will we talk about? Because I was reading this morning that Obi-Wan has left his search for Grievous on a 'secret mission'."
She reached into the basket and pulled out the datareader he'd failed to notice.
"Hey! When did you smuggle that in there! No work!"
Good naturedly he dove across the blanket, trying to wrestle it away from. She fought him with a careful tenderness that was aware of the life inside her, but still refused to surrender. They laughed loudly, privately, as she almost gained the upper-hand. It wasn't coincidence that even despite his great advantage in agility Anakin ended up beneath her. Stretched out on his back, pinned to the ground beneath her hips, he looked up seriously.
"Hand it over and I won't have to hurt you," he threatened.
Padmé continued to laugh quietly, covering his hands as they came up to rest on her hips. Even as he was playing the sore loser his hands caressed her. Constantly displaying his love. He couldn't help himself – looking up at her as she straddled his middle only reinforced what he already knew: – he was enamoured. Totally and utterly consumed by her.
"I'm on top here, you can't hurt me," she declared conclusively, refusing to bow to his threats.
With a carefully controlled flip that cradled her body and absorbed the impact without allowing her to escape, their positions had been reversed.
"I won't show mercy," he grinned, pinning her arms by her sides. "Say it Padmé, no work."
"I will make no such compromise!" she hotly contested.
Hoping to be a little more persuasive he lowered himself and, only a breath away from her lips, throatily asserted
"It's mine now," then snatched the datapad from her hand as he gave her a quick kiss.
Hungrily he climbed off her and went back to lunch. Their brief argument already forgotten Padmé sat herself back up, and even though he'd finally won she kept chattering about it anyway. Grinning cheerfully at his disapproving frown she waved him off and continued.
"It seems that there is an issue more pressing for Obi-Wan than ending the war."
She paused then stopped spooning food from containers and looked at him expectantly.
"I think that we are the more pressing issue," she confided.
He already had food in his mouth and was chewing happily until she said that. His pause and swallow must have been more obvious that he thought because she was clearly waiting for a response.
"What makes you say that?"
She raised an eyebrow and he nodded in reluctant agreement.
"This is why I did not tell anyone where I intended to go. Do you think he can find us?"
Anakin reached for his glass thoughtfully and swallowed the sweet juice. He was annoyed to have to think of anything outside of the loveliness of the world they were in right now. Again with Obi-Wan. There must be a one-sided remanent of the Master-Padawan bond. He was getting suspicious of the uncanny knack his friend had for hunting him, whether Padmé was distracting him with her physical presence or merely the thought of her.
This time though, they were well enough hidden, Anakin was sure of that. Six hyperspace jumps before their final destination would throw anyone off. Moving their ship to a private hanger had been Padmé's stroke of genius.
In his memory he made sure he correctly remembered clearing the flight records and the controller's memory as they were passing through. Yes. There was no trail left there. They'd also shielded their recognisable faces in Theed and taken three different public transports to the farther flung Southern region. They couldn't have been followed. And they'd bought rather than rented a speeder to make it to the lakeshore. If Obi-Wan could track them that far then he deserved the straight answer the ferryman would give him on their whereabouts. Unfortunately for Obi-Wan, even he was not a clairvoyant.
"He'll certainly come to Naboo to look. We cleared our trail though, he won't find us," Anakin concluded.
"I would not go back with him. Coruscant's dangerous," he reminded after a moment of silence.
And I'm still not right inside Anakin finished to himself quietly.
She nodded in understanding and sensing his distress subtly altered the subject.
"I don't like leaving Jar Jar in charge. After the military creation act incident I haven't trusted him with anything important. He's going to have to review and make a decision on the war crimes act, which I'm still not sure about. I don't see justice in having a single figure judge every case. Especially the Chancellor, who is already prone to allowing public opinion to point his moral compass."
He could feel the frustration rolling off of her. Whether it was the process itself or the fact she wasn't there to help it along, he wasn't quite sure.
Grinning, Anakin reminded himself that he was sure that she was physically far away from all the dangers Coruscant posed. That sensation of an ominous fate looming over them disappeared a little more each day they were away from the giant metropolis and right now his senses felt freer, clearer.
What he didn't know was whether the threat had passed or remained when they left.
With their stomachs full and tired from the trek, Anakin stretched out. After a moment he moved his head to her lap and closed his eyes. Nothing could be more relaxing for him than this moment.
Padmé slowly stroked her fingers over his forehead, intent on her work, her concentration serving as a focus that allowed him to release himself. His awareness drifted, freed in the life that surrounded him. Padmé next to and above him. The grass. The flowers. The fish in the pools at the bottom of the waterfalls. The small birds riding on the shaak's backs. The shaaks themselves. He let go in a way he had been unable to for almost a year. The peace and quiet that existed here was laid out to bare. It permeated his connection to the force, slowly releasing tension like a spring that had been pulled too far, being eased back rather than snapped. He had an odd sensation that invisible gaps, had been poked through the fabric of his life. He hadn't even noticed them before, but now they were being filled back up.
It was possible these holes the cause of the feeling of internal imbalance. Eagerly Anakin struggled to voice his state to the one person he trusted implicitly.
"It's like I am two different people," he mused quietly into the stillness. "One exists when I'm on a battlefield and I'm carving through battle droids, or up in my fighter dodging missiles. When I feel like that I can't wait for the next challenge – more droidekas or a control ship to drop out of hyperspace – something really exciting."
Padmé looked down at him with alarm.
"Don't you feel remorse for the lives you're taking? Or the comrades you're losing?"
"The comrades yes, but they're usually droids, or leaders who have committed atrocities themselves, then I feel no regret."
He took her hand from his forehead and led it to rest over his heart. Her fingers splayed out, covering the pulsing skin.
"Then I'm with you," he whispered seriously, looking up at her intently.
"And I'm torn. I want to go out and save the entire galaxy for you, but at the same time I just want to laze around in your bed and never see beyond our door again."
She leaned down from behind him, her lips dropping and placing a long kiss to the bridge of his nose.
"We're all of two minds. The more fulfilling option is inevitably the more costly," she told him wisely.
"So is being here with you now wrong? Because I'm fulfilled," he pushed her.
He hadn't meant for this to be a moralistic debate, he just wanted to put into words how he felt. He was so contented that he almost worried for himself. There was no conflict, despite the fact he had abandoned the people who had raised and cared for him. Did that make him an unfeeling monster?
For a moment there was silence.
"You have to know what is important to you. If staying away from this problem on Coruscant is vital, then that is the path you should follow. If you feel that you would be of more use by returning to the Jedi, then return."
She sat waiting for an answer he wasn't to give, her gaze patient and warm. Finally he shook his head in a 'don't worry' and eventually Padmé left him to his musings. He could feel her fingers occasionally tapping her datapad again, her attention turning fully to her work.
It didn't take any meditation to know what was important. Some things were the very foundations of your understanding, and need never be questioned. That Padmé was the only one for whom he would give up his life was one of these. Even if the life he was giving up was to be his life path rather than his actual life force.
He returned his attention to listening to the force. Listening to the soft whispers of its will. To shield his eyes from the sun he lifted his hand to cast a little shade.
Padmé jerked as he sprang from her lap.
"What is it?" she asked, startled as he fell back to his knees.
"My hand," he panicked.
It was obvious by her silence she didn't see the darkness that had leeched onto him. Like a black cloud of smoke, wisps misted across his skin, out of his pores and the joins in his mechanical fingers. He brought his other hand up for comparison and was confronted with the same thing.
"It looks fine," Padmé was obviously puzzled.
He shot his glance up for just a second, then returned his attention to his hands. The sinister cloud became more apparent under the bright light of the Naboo sun. With a slow sense of realisation he understood what it was.
In awe he turned his hands over. The darkside, manifesting itself into something visual. Born of the force, he was able to perceive it unlike any other. And now that his mind was clear of doubt for possibly the first time in his life, the mist slowly burned off, gobbled up by the supple meadow grasses.
Padmé softly caressed his now normal forearm with an "are you alright?"
He nodded and lay himself down by her side, closing his eyes. As she concentrated on frustrating news from Coruscant like the latest movements of troops, Anakin's soul was unknowingly on the mend.
---
Obi-Wan Kenobi gently settled his fighter to the ground, then surveyed the main military hanger in Theed. This was the most difficult assignment he'd ever had, no competition. The parameters weren't clearly defined, which he detested. The expected outcome was not even hinted at, which was worse. But the very nature of this mission led to the uncertainty. There were too many unknown variables.
To bring Anakin back sounded difficult. To bring him back when you didn't even know why he was missing was going to be almost impossible.
Coming to Naboo seemed instinctive. Senator Amidala's empty apartments had of course been his starting point. He knew Anakin well enough to try the obvious. The Naboo embassy revealing that Representative Binks would be the ambassador until further notice, that was what really sparked his interest.
At least if she and Anakin were together, they were more likely pleasure-bent than held hostage. Of course that left the equally problematic issue of why the pair would up and disappear so suddenly, together.
He just hoped for Anakin's sake it wasn't what he suspected they'd been doing for some time now.
A quick montage flashed through his mind. Anakin's behaviour towards her so long ago, a single hug and kiss shared between them after that horrendous battle with Dooku. The generally upbeat cheery person Anakin had become. Like he was content to know that something better was always just around the corner.
Or, as Obi-Wan was loathed to think, waiting back on Coruscant for Anakin with a hug and less chaste kisses than he'd witnessed.
Knowing that he'd have to face the truth one way or another Obi-Wan climbed out of his starfighter onto the smooth floor.
A flight controller quickly rushed to him, bowing politely.
"May I help you Master Kenobi?"
Obi-Wan nodded his head and folded his hands into his sleeves.
"Has Senator Amidala returned to Naboo recently?"
The tall woman turned her head down to a datapad in her hands and hit a few buttons.
"Not in the past month," she replied.
Looking at the floor for a moment he pondered her answer.
"How do you determine that?" he finally asked.
The woman looked taken aback at his question. He could tell she was overwhelmed by his status and tried to calm her with the force. Her rationality was needed now as the starting point to finding his wayward friend.
If indeed he was wayward and not rotting in a prison or worse right now.
The flight controller cleared her throat and answered confidently
"The system checks for use of her landing clearance codes and her ship's unique beacon. Neither have been used Master Jedi."
Obi-Wan grimaced. Blast.
His fingers reached for his beard without thinking and he tugged the shortened hairs in thought.
If they were here secretively they'd put in at least a basic effort to disguise it. If they weren't here then he had absolutely no clue where to look for them.
If he was even looking for them. He could just be looking for Anakin. This mission was far too broad for his liking.
"Did you check civilian docking bays as well?"
She nodded but then told him confidently "If the Senator's ship was planetside she would dock with priority here. For security reasons."
It's likely she has an enamoured Jedi with her. Security is not a problem Obi-Wan considered grimly.
"I'd like to leave my ship here. Will that be a problem?"
"No sir."
"Would it be possible to get entry to both civilian and military flight logs for the past five weeks?"
She led him across the floor in silence to a terminal and brought up the relevant records.
"Thank you. You've been most helpful."
She bowed and left him to it. He would have laughed at her relief to get away from him. Except he was well aware of the tediousness of the task that awaited him in scrolling through thousands of data entries hoping one would pop out at him. Plus, he never laughed at the frightened.