Hi there! I know. You're thinking: this chapter took ages. Aaaah, don't tell me. I kept writing, and deleting, and writing, and getting stuck, and writing some more, and feeling stupid. I guess I need a beta OR... maybe a new brain with more/better ideas. Anyway, hope the chapter is not too bad. Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: Noo. The characters are still not mine. I just like playing with them.

"Words written like this" are dialogue

(Words written like this) are thoughts

I couldn't stop thinking it looked better before I bought it. When I stared at my image in my room, skinny jeans and black tank top on, I saw less of the sexy young woman I had caught a glimpse of in the shop's glass and more of a little girl wearing the clothes of her elder sister. I was tempted to change back into my old jeans and the Metallica T-shirt Dean had given me a couple of years before. But Mom was so glad I was worried about girly things instead of obsessed with hunting she had given me some bucks to spend on clothes for my birthday. We were not exactly rolling over money after Dad's death, so at least I should have the decency to wear what I had bought. I was finally approaching the door when someone downstairs felt the need to shout at the top of his lungs.

"JOOOO!!!! Are you bloody sewing your own clothes? 'Cos some people here are getting hungry."

"Shut up, Dean! Don't be such a whining girl. I'm almost done here, ok?"

(One...two...three... four...five), I focused on counting the steps as I was walking down the stairs. My eyes were fixed on that spot in my boots where the leather was almost torn. (Twelve...thirteen... fourteen... fifteen. End of the journey, Jo, you'll have to raise your head.)

I searched their faces for some sign of an opinion. John was wearing his poker face and, man, he was good at that. Mom looked surprised. I could feel I was making Sam nervous, though not really if it was in a good or bad way. We had a nice lunch, the cake was really good and I loved my presents. For some reason there was a moment when I thought my outfit would not be mentioned.

But, of all people, Dean had to be the one speaking.

"What the fuck are you wearing?", he asked, mouth still full of chocolate.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

"I don't know... Could they be clothes, Einstein? And don't speak while you're eating", I shot back.

He sent me the hell of a murderous look while he swallowed that piece of cake. I was gonna pay for that during a training, sooner or later.

"I think you're showing too much."

"Well, I think you're staring too long."

"Do you know who stares too long? You know who, Ellen?", he directed a look to Mom, trying to get some co-operation, "boys your age, Jo. They stare too long, and they stare at body parts they shouldn't be staring at. And you know what boys your age think about all the time? Tell her, Sammy"

Sam jumped on his seat.

"I don't think about anything", he shook his head vehemently, all puppy eyes, "I swear, Ellen."

"Maybe I should wear a burka", I interrupted.

"Finally a good idea there!" Dean snorted.

"Dean! I've got tits, get over it already!", I tried to shut him up.

"Joanna Beth!" my mother was looking serious.

"But Mom!", I complained, with no results at all. The conversation was over.

We talked about this and that and took some pictures for Ash, who was away at the time doing some business we didn't wanna know about. My friends were soon waiting for me at the door. Sam and I took our jackets and listened to the last pieces of advice before leaving.

"I'm trusting you, show me it's the right thing", Mom gave Sam the keys of her truck. That was gonna be his first time ever driving without an adult watching him. "And Jo, no matter what the rest do, don't lose Sammy, ok? You're going to that concert in town only because he'll be watching out for you."

I rolled my eyes.

"Sure, Mom. I wouldn't dream of getting an inch of separation from Sam. I'll go to the toilet with him if that's necessary." I affectedly batted my eyelids.

Anna, Rose and Mark were waiting for us at the door.

"Wow! You look different!" Anna smiled.

"I join the WOW!" Mark added, ignorant of what he was asking for with that comment. I was sniggering even before Dean put his grip in the back of his neck.

"You touch her, I'll gut you. You look at her, I'll gut you", Dean directed to my poor friend his most menacing look "you think of her..."

"You'll gut me, I get it" Mark said in a barely audible voice.

I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, thank you for your protection, Cerberus, but I think I'm old enough to take care of myself."

He turned his gaze to his younger brother.

"Keep an eye on her, Sammy."

"Sure, Dean, sure", he answered, already on the other side of the door.

"C'mon, it was not that bad!"

"Sam! You got us lost and when we finally arrived there, the concert had been canceled 'cos the place didn't have the appropriate license," I argued.

"You mean this is not your very best birthday ever?", he gaped, pretending to be offended.

"As much as I'm enjoying our thumb wrestling competition, I had a different idea of what today was gonna be like."

Sam's face went immediately straight.

"If you're bored and wanna go back home, I'm ok with that."

"Nay, I like playing with you."

He smiled. We were killing time in Mom's truck before returning home. Maybe we were not the most popular kids in school but that didn't mean we were ready to arrive home one hour before curfew with our tails between our legs.

"It was still quite a good birthday, anyway," he stated.

"Was it?", I raised my eyebrow while I tried to beat him once more.

"Dean's face when he saw your clothes? Totally worth eating Ellen's special stew."

I burst out in laughter.

"Is it just me or it's getting worse every year?"

"It is," he took a breath "And the burka part? Genius, I must say."

He laughed again, cute, cute, cute dimples appearing. I bit my lip. I was getting goosebumps all over my skin. He had been making that happen the whole afternoon. Dean had told him to watch my back. Sam was an obedient boy, so he did it. Literally. Every now and then, I felt his eyes on the small of my back, staring at the skin between the hem of my top and the waistband of my low-ride jeans. Maybe trying to assume I was not his little girl anymore. We had been exchanging looks and shy smiles nobody else seemed to notice. But by the time Anna, Rose and Mark had been dropped back at their homes and we were finally alone in the car, nothing happened. Apart from the thumb wrestling competition, of course.

"Ha! I WON!"

"Not fair! I wasn't paying attention," I protested.

"Good point, Harvelle", he strained his voice so it would sound husky andolder "because if you ever thumb wrestle against a demon and you're not paying attention, he'll be fair to you. Now stop thinking about the burka you're buying tomorrow. Once more from the beginning!"

I smiled at his impersonation of John.

"Do you also think that it is, you know," I gazed at my outfit "too tight?"

He stopped the game, hands still intertwined, and avoided my eyes nervously when he spoke.

"I think tight looks good on you."

I needed to look somewhere else, too, trying to hide my blush. He squeezed my hand.

(Ok, Jo: it's now or never. You're so not gonna have better opportunities than this one. He's not going further than that remark if you don't dare make a move. One, two, three. Go.)

So I kissed him. Suddenly, probably clumsily, without any kind of warning. At first, my eyes were shut and my teeth so clenched together it hurt. Then, I noticed he was not rejecting me. I relaxed more and more as Sam's hands moved to caress my hair, my neck, my waist. I couldn't think anything coherent till I felt he was moving his face away from mine with a worried look.

"It can't happen," he whispered.

"Why?", I demanded to know.

"It's complicated. I'm so sorry, Jo, I shouldn't have... I shouldn't. Really."

He moved to start the engine. I put the key in its initial position. I was not gonna end the conversation that way.

"But Sam..."

"Look, if you were... If I were..." he sighed "it's not going to happen again, that's it."

"No, that's not it. I'm not your sister, Sam."

"I know."

"What if things were different? What would happen if this was the first time we met? If I was not Ellen's daughter, and you were not John's kid? What if...?"

"Jo, you are who you are", he closed his eyes, "and I am who I am, and this is not right. Not right." He opened them again, and pulled a strand of hair behind my ear. "You understand?"

I pushed his hand aside, and avoided his eyes.

"I wanna go home."

"Jo..."

"I'm tired, I wanna go home."

He took the keys and started the car. I had my eyes fixed on the dark scenery.

"Crappy first kiss", I mumbled, breath misting over my window. It was gonna be a long sleepless night for me. (Happy fourteenth birthday, Jo. You've fucked up big time.)