It had been raining that day, the sky opened up, soft droplets of water tumbling to the earth in a torrent of pain and sorrow. He had been hard pressed to get home, the streets oddly void of life, darkened and grey so unlike the way he had remembered them. Maybe it was just something caused by the rain.

Home had been a tall two story house, set upon a quiet road on the back streets of Germany. He'd lived there for a little over a year now, occupying the large four bedroom home with Alphonse and the girls. They were a family, the quartet; a troop of friends lost amidst the love they shared for one another. They lived, they loved, and they survived off the emotions and friendships they forged. Edward and Al had been so reluctant to seek out the friendship that the girls provided; a sort of relief, a kind of release of some sort. That was how Edward looked at it anyway.

When Alphonse had introduced him to Noah's friend, he had been a little skeptical at first, scared of what it would mean to allow another human being into their past. To allow another human to witness how broken he had become, both in mind and body.

Her presence however, was proven to be just what Edward Elric needed to move on. His life held meaning again as he watched the light shine within her eyes when she smiled. They lived, they loved, and they survived off one another like addicts on some sort of drug. Edward found himself living the way he imagined people his age normally lived. He loved her, and within their love he found comfort, he found home. He gave up alchemy, he gave up fighting, he found a job, and lived the way he had always wanted to. Shamelessly he forgot the state, forgot his missions and all the horrors he had been forced to witness. He focused all his time and effort on being happy, becoming whole again, only to be rewarded by the birth of his beautiful baby girl.

Yes, Edward had everything he had been denied in his previous life. A happiness he shared with Alphonse as the two boys, now young men, considered themselves uniquely lucky.

Rain and darkness, a surge of power which crept through the air, leaching off of every breath Edward took. The windows shown blue, the iridescent desperation of an alchemy experiment destined to go wrong.

His home?

Darkness groped at his pant legs as he ran through the darkened streets. Puddles splashed up as his shoes collided with the water sending droplets into the air, clinging to his pants as he forced himself to move on. He felt as if he had been sent back to the gate, those feeble hands groping at his body, determined to steal away whatever appendage they could close within their grasp.

He tripped, stumbled, his arms flailing as he tried so hard to maintain his balance, forcing himself up the steps towards his now broken home. The wood beneath his feet creaked and groaned as if to give way below his weight. The feeling of solid ground slowly left him, lost on a sensation of weightlessness. He ran through space and time until he was able to throw himself through the heavy oak door, forcing the heavy object closed, shutting out the world of darkness and sorrow behind him. He wanted to be safe within those for walls, but his brother's voice brought reality crashing down around him.

Ed forced himself to stand, the weight of his body having thrown him to the ground, and he ran. He ran towards the stairs, towards the voices and the undeniable electric pulse which surged through the air. He ran toward love, towards desperation. He ran in hopes that some how something would be different.

The stairs seemed to slip away beneath his feet, a never ending path which grew harder and harder to climb. The blue light only grew more intense as the top of the stairs came into view. Panic caused Edward to trip again, his chin colliding with the hardwood floor as he found himself at the top of the stairs. His first instinct had been the baby, though somehow it seemed pointless, he knew how this would play out, a never ending nightmare, a recurring dream which forced him to relive his most terrifying memory night after night.

The hallway stretched on for eternity as Ed found his feet and threw himself forward. It was pointless yes, but some part deep within hoped that he might be able to rectify the situation. Maybe if he happened to do things differently now, when he woke up, he'd be at home in his bed, her arms wrapped tightly around his chest.

No…

White lines drawn upon the floor in chalk, his brother's horrified screams as the woman Edward loved so fully knelt within the center of an intricately drawn out array.

All words lost their meaning as Edward tried to scream, sounds muffled within his throat. He watched as her young form coddled their child, the wee one fast asleep despite the hectic flow of energy which pulsated around her.

"A gate in all of us…" she said softly, her head resting against the babies, arms folded across the child's back.
Edward knew what happened next as Alphonse threw himself forwards. He tried desperately to wrench the child from its mothers grasp while Edward stood and did nothing. He did nothing.

All that came was her scream and a bright light.

"Iris!!"
Roy awoke with a start; fingers groping at the flesh beneath his shirt which had some how lost its buttons. He watched in horror and awe as the young alchemist he had forced to bed lie beneath his arms, face torn in agony, was desperately clawing at his chest.

"Iris, Iris, please no…" the blonde wonder muttered, rocking his head back and forth, his hair a tangled mess as it lie against Roy's arm.

It was hard not to wonder what images plagued Edwards mind. What horrors he watched beneath those heavy lids, who Iris had been to him. Roy wanted to wake the child, wanted to ask him questions, to wonder like a curious child, like the boy Edward had once been, but knew it best he let Edward open up in his own time.

Now lie the question, should he rouse Edward from such a painful sleep. Would waking the boy provide some sort of relief?

Finally a hand posed at the boys shoulder. Mustang's firm hold groping at the

boy's warm flesh a moment, and then he shook, uttering the young mans name softly.
It was moments before anything happened. Roy's dark eyes peering through the heavy blue shadow which enveloped their quiet bodies, the lamp light all but gone out.

"Edward, come on…" he finally said, voice raising some in order to fully rouse the young man before him.

Thankfully that time did the trick. Edwards eyes flashed open, honey brown iris' glowing within the moonlight which trickled through the window. He looked scared, panicked, lost within his own world of hurt and emotion, so unsure what to do with himself, where to go, or how to manage now that reality was coming back into focus.

Roy wasn't sure but he thought he noticed a slight tinge of blush creep over the young mans cheeks as he tried to wipe the sleep from those weary eyes.

"Bad dream…?" The elder questioned, his hand removing itself from Edwards shoulder to rub away a glistening tear from his cheek.

Edward nodded meekly, "Sorry if I woke you…"

He wasn't sure why, but in that moment, Roy's heart shattered into a million pieces. He wanted to hold Edwards head to his chest, allow the beating of his own heart lull the young man back into a peaceful sleep. He wanted to wipe the shameful tears from the young mans eyes and promise him the world would be a better place if he only waited for the sun to rise. He wanted to reform the world, create a better place, a world where Edward wouldn't hurt, wouldn't hurt and worry about other people; a world where Iris, whoever she may be wouldn't leave Edward to a restless sleep.

"Don't be… " the man begun, stopping any words of jest and merriment from falling off his tongue. Instead, Roy Mustang allowed his thumb to trace the hollow line of Edwards's cheekbone, sweeping down and across the young mans jaw. "Are you ok though?"

Edward seemed to think on the question a moment, as if he wanted to answer truthfully, but settled on a simple nod.

"Who's Iris then?" Roy pressed before he even had a chance to realize what he was saying. So much for letting Edward open up on his own.

Once again Edward seemed lost upon his thoughts. He deliberated allowing Roy Mustang the truth into his very private life before settling upon a cryptic answer, "The reason I'm here…" he sounded off in quiet painful tones, drawing away from Mustang's contact.

There was however, no place to run. The Flame Alchemist's arms lie wrapped tightly around Edwards feeble sleep ridden form. Try as he might the younger of the two was trapped, his body pressed against the warmth of Roy's body, his sense forced to endure the spicy scent of smoke which lingered heavily within the air. "I don't want to talk about it…" Edward managed to mumble, tilting his head so that he might avoid Mustang's annoyingly calm gaze. It was bad enough the man had Edward pinned there, but those dark orbs seemed to look straight through the surface peeling away at the layers beneath, the layers of hurt and betrayal.

"Well if you're alright then it should stand to reason that you would have no problem indulging my curiosity…" Roy sounded off logically, the hand beneath Edwards shoulder snaking its way up and beneath the boy to rest against a mound of messy golden locks. He allowed his fingers to toy with a few delicate tendrils before pressing the young mans head flush against his chest. "You're reaction implies that you are not quite as alright as you claim Edward…"

The young man's shoulders sunk, his body weakened and he managed to give in beneath Roy's tender advances. Roy was too damn logical for his own good, finding ways to slip out bits and pieces of information Edward had reluctantly kept to himself. "Fine, I'm not ok…" he huffed indignantly, nuzzling his cheek against Roy's bare chest, the sensation of skin on skin enough to clear his mind of any ill begotten nightmare.

Still, odd as it was, Edward felt himself becoming strongly attached to General in all his manipulative mannerisms. He was quirky and difficult to read, but he meant well and he was warm, so very, very warm.

"Who's Iris, Edward?" the question came again.

Edward was as prepared this time as he had been the first, "a girl from the other side of the gate…" he mumbled into Roy's chest, his words just barely audible.

"So Iris is the name of a girl from the other side of the gate who helped you get home..?" piecing this together would be difficult without more pieces to Edwards angry puzzle.

"No!" the boy huffed, his hands curling into the material of Roy's shirt, clutching tightly to the fabric as Edward forced stability into his being. "She forced me home, forced me back… she didn't love me… didn't love us…"

Had Edward not wanted to come home?

Roy's jaw dropped, his chin tucked softly against the crown of Edwards head as he tried to make sense of it all. Edward had been… happy there, beyond the gate? He was happy with no intention of coming back?

Everything suddenly hurt inside. Roy felt betrayed and abandoned while he held Ed's body so tight against his. He had been forced home… forced… Edwards's words repeating within his mind as many times as the small space would allow, fumbling over concepts mingling with an odd bite of jealousy. Ed didn't want to be there, he didn't want Rosembol or Central. He didn't want the fields or the alchemy, or his friends. The people who helped him grow over the years; he had shed them off like an old layer of skin, no longer useful, more restricting and tight.

God, it hurt more then Roy thought it ever would. Not only had Edward found a potential love in the other realm, but it meant more to him then his friend's home did. How was that even possible? Even better, why did it hurt this bad?

It felt as though someone had cracked a shovel against his sternum and began digging away until they found the buried treasure that was his aching heart. It hurt like the hollow aching of something he cherished, had gone missing, more then it had when Edward had disappeared the first time, more then when he left the second too. It just hurt, as if he'd never feel warmth occupy that space again.

How is it possible to feel so alone… when he's lying right here? Roy's mind was a battle ground of questions going off like gun fire. His eyes spaced as he focused on the trail of moonlight which struck the floor leaving a pattern of the wooden window frame in its wake. He needed to focus on something other then Ed while he thought, a task which proved increasingly difficult as the scent of metal and sweet vanilla stormed his mind and senses; as Ed stirred just slightly, his lashes dragging along the sensitive patch of skin upon Roy's chest as the young mans eyes opened and closed. Roy could feel the heat from his gaze, Edward was staring through the darkness into the space where Roy's hear should lie, steadily beating. It was as if the young alchemist knew the organ were functioning improperly, heart beat racing within Roy's ears as he struggled for short gasps of reality.

"Everyone… Everyone just seems to suffer so much… all… all because of me…" Ed whispered softly, his breath, hot moist air lingering upon Roy's chest.

He could almost feel the residue from each sorrow filled syllable as he brought Ed's body closer, eliminating all space that separated them. "It's not meant to be Easy Edward…" somehow though, that felt like the wrong thing to say.

"I never said I wanted it easy…" Ed mumbled solemnly, Roy's words had clearly struck the wrong cord, throwing the young man deeper into himself, "I just want it to be… normal…"

"Normal can be nice…" the elder mused, "But boring after a while, you're an alchemist Ed, things aren't meant to be normal around us, it's what makes our lives so… amazing…"
A huff of air burst over Roy's skin causing the man to go rigid a moment as Edwards hands groped the material of his shirt even tighter, "I'd gladly give up alchemy…" he choked desperately, words laced with tears as the warmth of such an embrace blessed Mustangs skin, "I'd give it all up… t-to know love again…" the fleshy expanse of his forehead pressed hard against the Flame Alchemist's chest as Ed slowly began to cave.

"You love alchemy!" Roy rushed lamely.

Yet he was met with silence. Edwards body lie tight against his, his shoulders trembling as tremors of sadness ransacked his hollow being. He said nothing more on the subject, nothing of Iris, nothing of Germany. Ed only cried, soft tears gingerly rolling over the young ones cheek to fall between the creases made where each mans flesh met. Roy allowed him his moment, fingers lost within Edward's hair as he cradled his young friend against his chest. Edward sobbed and choked on air as he struggled to close the tiniest of gaps he felt growing between their bodies.

He wouldn't go back to sleep, he couldn't face what awaited beneath lidded eyes. It hurt, it was frightening, and so they lie like that for hours, darkness stolen away by the fresh burst of sunlight which swept into the room as dawn crept over the horizon.

Roy couldn't remember the last time he had just laid in bed with anyone. He couldn't remember the last time he had allowed another to find such comfort within his arms. He couldn't remember when his heart had last beat so fast he felt it swell beneath his chest. Maybe there was more to this friendship thing then he realized, maybe his fondness for his subordinate was more than just the fatherly protection he had always chalked it up to be.

He was staring down at Edward's body, the way his leg curled up just so finding comfort the closer it came to his body. The way his hands grasped his shirt, the flesh so tightly wound about the white fabric while his automail seemed to tentatively appreciate the strength within and just held Roy close. He wanted to say so many things, do so many things but the body before him caused all thought and reason to slip out the window. His tongue felt bloated, mouth filled with reckless mumblings and blatantly stupid phrases. He'd always known just what to say to win the women over, always known what to do in order to melt the hearts of those he woe-ed. Why then, was this whole situation so ripe with angst and awkward wanton desire?

He was a grown man for god sakes; a grown man allowing his mind to wander over the stretch of a young man, his young subordinate's body. What did Ed look like under those clothes, was the rest of his skin so lightly tanned, if not, where did sun kissed brown meet stark white. Roy wanted to find out for himself, allow his hands to explore every nook and cranny Edward's body offered. He'd been there all night without the simplest of adjustments. His legs felt numb, his arms heavy as the warmth of Edward's body occupied the space within. He needed to think, needed to breathe fresh air, but all that seemed left was that which had already occupied his lungs. Roy felt uncomfortably dizzy as if all the blood were leaving the important areas, pooling in the most awkward space imaginable.

Good god, this can't be happening! His mind desperately screamed. Here Edward was, upset, body torn through from some painful night mare and he was getting all riled up and over what?!

The mere idea of the boys tanned chest. The thought of how sculpted his body felt, how hard and defined the muscles of his back alone felt as they lingered beneath Roy's touch.

Stop, stop, stop, stop! He begged, no, pleaded with his body to just allow him this one simple pleasure. Ed wasn't one of the women he courted after all; he was a needy young man. One which Roy had been trying to bring back to reality, one which Roy had been trying to comfort in his time of need and all Roy could do was absently think such scandalous thoughts.

He needed to get up, he needed space, he needed fresh air!
It seemed only logical that he place space between their restful forms before his problem became more apparent. Carefully Roy tried to slip his arms away from Edward. A movement which only elicited a drawn out sigh of protest and the warmth Edwards's body drawn even closer then before.

Roy could feel a soft rouge dust across his cheeks. He's going to think I'm some hormonal teenager… Roy scolded himself mentally, the growing heat within his stomach slowly beginning to boil.

"Nnh Roy…" Edward drawled in a sleepy voice, his mouth wide in a yawn, lips centimeters from Roy's chest. "You ever… ever lose someone you cared about… ever felt so empty…?" but he didn't finish his statement. Edward rolled his head back, drawing away from his superior officer. His eyes squinted within the dull mornings light, small pools of liquid amber curiously seeking answers. Edward's head slowly tilted back in order to capture the gaze of his superior. He needed to know, to see Roy's reaction, watch the truth flicker beneath the elders onyx gaze. As his torso arched some, the clawing grasp of Roy's fingers pressed into Edward's back, the young man's hips rolled forward, pressing tight against the lower half of Roy's body. His abdomen met Roy's pelvis and the awkward problem Roy seemed to silently struggle with.

At first he wasn't sure what was going on, Roy seemed to blush, to struggle in his desperate need for air, for space. Space which Edward claimed with his own boyish form, "R-Roy?" was the only thing that came to mind. A question posed upon the air, confusion saturated with the need for sleep and the suns bright light obscuring reality.

Oh, Roy just wanted to die.

Edward's question fluttered through his mind on some whimsical line of thought. He'd asked a tangible question, something he seemed to need the answer to. What was he suppose to say?

Confess how familiar that feeling was, how desperate he had been to see Ed once more?

Instead the General closed the space between them hesitantly. He hadn't meant to at first, only watched within his mind as the scene unfolded before him. It was of course, a little more magical and almost perfect within the confines and secrecy of his wishes, but as his lips captured Ed's in a moment of rushed passion, it didn't seem to matter how clumsy or foolishly childish it felt.

The warmth of the Mustang's lips stole all conscious thought from the young man's mind. He meant to protest, he really and truly did, but nothing made more sense then to cave. The tenderness of the embrace was breathtaking, like only a first kiss could be, as Edward found his body relaxing into it. Roy seemed to take that as a sign as he deepened the moment, allowing his tongue to dart passed parted lips, lingering upon the curve of Edward's lower lip.

A soft sigh came as the response, Edwards fingers loosening upon Roy's shirt, fleshy fingertips pressed beneath the Flame's clavicle as the space between their chests became limited.

It was like swallowing mouthfuls of passion. Like his heart were about to rupture from both pleasure and confusion, like no sound could conquer the trepid monstrous thundering of his frantically beating heart. He savored the taste of Roy upon his lips, the scent of cinnamon smoke and lust swallowing him whole. God it felt good to be wanted again, to have arms encircling his body, the warmth of another against his chest. It felt good to be submissive and so wanted it made your body ache.

Roy ate up the soft gasp and grunts for air which escaped Edward's lips. He allowed his mouth to breach the land of intimacy, to linger upon the ground of just plane desire as his tongue begged entrance into the cavernous warmth Ed's mouth seemed to offer. Each gentle touch was carefully orchestrated, every lap, every lick, as delicate as the situation surrounding them. A hand cupped Edward's cheek gently as Roy's tongue rolled over the soft cushion of flesh that was the younger's lower lip. His eyes closed sight no longer important. Taste, touch, scent, those were what mattered, even hearing; the soft struggled breaths, the wet sound their mouths made as they came together in a repeated motion, each time more desperate then the last. That was what mattered. The way Ed's skin felt beneath his calloused fingertips, the warmth his mouth granted, the friction between them, the supple wetness of his lips. Then the teeth, the sharp nip at Roy's flesh as Ed suckled his bottom lip before giving it a slight tug.

Light broken his sight as he allowed his eyes to open momentarily, watching the question spread across Edward's pooling honey gaze, the reddened puffiness in Edwards kiss swollen lips…

"Wh…" he managed no more then the sound of a word as he struggled for breath. He was guilty? Guilty for sure, the confused questioning gaze settling upon Roy as Edward struggled with his breath. "Ho.." Even that question seemed stupid.

"Explain…" he finally demanded his touch unsure, as if running away was now becoming an option.

Roy merely smiled, "lose someone you cared about… feeling so empty…" Roy repeated softly. His mouth was moving, words coming out before he could manage so much as a coherent thought. "Yeah… and it's hard…" he added lamely, "really, really hard…"

It was then that Ed realized, He's talking about me…

Again, more fluff... I know Roy's a grown man and could probably control his... urges... but he missed Ed...
as always read and review!! 3