Merlin leaned comfortably against a fallen log, chewing on a piece of cheese as he watched Percival instructing Carwyn in the tricks of swordsmanship. The knight had become his closest friend after Gaius and Gwen. Their relationship had grown after Merlin returned to Camelot. Neither said anything, but they both knew what it was like to fail saving a good friend. Merlin smiled sadly. He missed Gwaine. Gwaine had always had the words to cheer him. And he had died so horribly...

Merlin took a breath and pushed memory away. He didn't want to feel the pain today. He turned his attention back to Percival and Prince Carwyn. He and Gwen had decided it would be best to travel disguised and with as few people as possible. Merlin knew he was capable of protecting Carwyn on his own, but Gwen had insisted someone else come along. Merlin suggested Percival and she'd agreed. They'd worn common clothing, hardly a change for Merlin who still hadn't seen a need to adopt noble attire, but the knight and prince looked quite different.

Percival shrugged in his shirt sleeves. Merlin grinned. The man hated his beefy shoulders being confined. It was a peculiar trait, but one that only endeared him more to the warlock. It was nice to know even someone so apparently strong had a strange quirk like everyone else. Percival moved deliberately across the clearing, meeting Carwyn's wooden sword with a stick as the prince followed his instructions. "There! You got it!"

Carwyn beamed at the praise. Merlin clapped a couple times for the young prince. Carwyn glanced at him and sobered. Merlin sighed inwardly. Two days of travel and he still hadn't been forgiven. He was trying to be patient, but Carwyn's attitude continued to remind him that the prince's circumstances were his fault.

Percival followed Carwyn's gaze and broke into a large smile. He brandished his stick. "Why don't you try?"

"Me?" Merlin asked. "You know I've never been good at swordplay."

"I know," Percival laughed. "Come on. Just try me."

Merlin shook his head and laughed. "I could never win against a hulk like you."

"Chicken."

Merlin raised his eyebrows and jokingly clucked. He wasn't one to be goaded by juvenile insults.

Carwyn advanced on Merlin and held his wooden sword out. "Are you scared?"

Merlin shook his head. "I know when I can't win."

"You're scared."

"I'm not."

"Prove it."

Merlin stared at the prince's insolent eyes. Maybe this was his chance to show the prince his advantages. He took the wooden sword and stood, walking across from Percival who grinned widely and held his stick in readiness.

Percival slashed first of course, but Merlin deflected the blow. He knew he wasn't as good as the knight, but he hadn't learned nothing all those years with Arthur. He blocked a couple more blows, then tried his own thrusts, but Percival met them deftly. The dueling picked up and Merlin found himself more and more outmatched as he barely blocked and never found an in. Percival knocked a mighty blow against the wooden sword and it tumbled out of Merlin's grasp. Merlin made to back up, but Percival dropped his stick and picked Merlin up, swinging him over his shoulder. Merlin could hear Carwyn laughing. This was his moment.

Merlin's eyes flashed gold as he incanted a spell. A vine from a nearby tree shot out and caught Percival around the legs. The large man tumbled to his knees and Merlin rolled out of his grasp and over the ground. He came to his feet, laughing at Percival who shook his head at Merlin's trick.

"You win," Percival conceded.

"You cheated."

Merlin's laughter stopped as he looked to the prince standing with his hands on his hips.

"It wasn't fair."

Merlin stared at him. "Why not?"

"Because...because..."

Merlin raised his eyebrows.

"Because Percival doesn't have magic."

"I'm not a swordsman," Merlin countered. "It's fair for Percival to use his swordsmanship against me? But I can't use my magic?"

"It's just cheating," Carwyn spat out.

Percival, who had finished untangling his legs, stood up and turned to the prince. "If we were attacked, I'd want Merlin to use his magic. It's even better than a sword."

Carwyn looked chagrined as the knight took up Merlin's defense. Merlin moved closer to the prince. "You can use your magic to protect yourself and others."

Carwyn locked eyes with his guardian for a moment, then moved away to his horse, rummaging inside a pack for some food.

Merlin felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. "He'll understand some day. To be honest, Merlin, it took me a while to get used to the idea of you and magic. He has to get used to his own magic."

Percival walked towards his own horse to prepare for further travel.

Merlin kept his eyes on Carwyn. He wasn't sure how to help the prince except by showing him what magic could do, but the prince wanted none of it. He rubbed at his eyes, hoping someone wiser than he might have the answer he sought.

"Merlin!"

"Mother!"

Merlin embraced his mother tightly. He hadn't seen her in almost a year. She let him go and cradled his face in her hands. He smiled. She was still the same—kind, compassionate, and in many ways a kindred spirit. It was she who had always been on his side no matter the circumstances.

"If you'd said you were coming I would have prepared your favorite food!"

Merlin's smile broadened. "Anything you cook will be fine."

Hunith looked over his shoulder. "You brought friends! Welcome, Percival!"

Percival nodded to Merlin's mother who he'd only met once before when he'd accompanied Merlin to Ealdor four years before.

Hunith walked around Merlin. "And Prince Carwyn. Welcome, my lord." She gave a little curtsy.

Carwyn bowed to her. "My lady."

Hunith looked back at Merlin, amused. Merlin smiled. Gwen had wanted Merlin to spend quite a bit of time teaching the prince manners and that respect included all people, not just nobility. Sometimes Merlin thought Camelot didn't know how lucky they were to have such a fair and just queen.

Hunith smiled down at Carwyn. "I haven't seen you since you were quite small." Gwen had visited Ealdor when Carwyn was just a toddler, desiring a break from rule for a short time. It had been a good trip, one Merlin remembered fondly. This one, he feared, would be quite different.

"I don't remember you," Carwyn said honestly.

"You were too young," Hunith said. She looked back to Merlin. "You must be hungry."

Merlin nodded.

"We're starving," Percival said.

"Then come and eat."

Merlin relished the strain on his muscles when he dug into the earth with a shovel.

"You don't have to do that," Hunith spoke from her back door.

Merlin looked over at her. "I want to do it."

Hunith smiled shortly and moved into the garden, sitting on a barrel in the shade of the house. Carwyn had fallen asleep eating his dinner and his mother had insisted on picking him up and laying him in a cot herself.

Merlin went back to his work. Most days he missed this. Living in Camelot was fine, but there was something about using his hands to work the earth. Magic came alive when he participated in bringing forth new life. And he didn't even have to use a spell.

"So why are you here?"

Merlin continued digging, but smiled to himself. Oh, how he loved her! "You wouldn't believe I just wanted to see you?"

"You never were good at lying."

Merlin agreed with that. She ferreted out his mischief with ease when he was a child.

"Except when you hid your magic."

Merlin stepped back to assess the depth of the hole he'd dug, then picked up a cabbage plant. "I suppose if you're threatened with death, you can get fairly good at doing something you're not good at." And if you love someone enough. He'd known how important it was to her that he be safe.

"So...why did you come?"

Merlin laid the cabbage plant into the hole, then filled in the dirt with his hands. He stood and brushed his hands together, then walked over to his mother. He laid his hands on her shoulders. "I did want to see you."

"And..."

Merlin sighed. He lowered himself on a short crate next to the barrel. He put his elbows on his knees and stared out at the green garden. If he'd stayed here, life wouldn't be so complicated. And Carwyn would be dead. He would have to accept complication.

"When I saved Prince Carwyn, I gave him magic." Merlin looked up to see his mother's reaction. Her eyes dawned with understanding. "I didn't mean to. It's just started to appear recently. Gwen says it puts him in danger. She wanted us to leave for a while."

Hunith's brow creased thoughtfully. "She's right. Sometimes travelers from Camelot pass through. There are those who voice their displeasure with the queen and her views on magic."

Merlin flung out a hand. "Gwen is the most fair, kind, just queen. I don't understand how they could think she has anything but their good in mind."

Hunith placed a calming hand on Merlin's head. "It's only been seven years. All the evil done by magic can't be forgotten so quickly."

Merlin rested his chin on his clasped hands. "I did magic, too. I saved Camelot. Magic isn't always evil."

"Oh, my boy," Hunith spoke quietly, stroking his hair. "They must see much more good done before they believe. It's a sad truth that people don't trust easily what they can't see many times with their own eyes."

Merlin contemplated her statement, frustrated that he had to put up with people who wouldn't give him the benefit of the doubt even now that magic was lawful.

"What does the prince think of his magic?"

Merlin snorted in annoyance. "He liked mine just fine. His...he thinks it's a curse."

"What does he do with it?"

"So far he's only used it when he gets angry."

"Well, then, it must scare him."

"I know he's scared, but even when I show him how he can use it for good, he's upset at me."

Hunith moved her hand from his head to his shoulder. "You sound like every parent I've ever known, including myself."

Merlin raised his eyebrows.

"It's sometimes hard to get children to hear you. Remember old man Dirgo?"

Merlin winced. "Don't remind me." His mother had warned him time and again not to trespass in the man's fields. He hadn't listened. It had long been a tradition of the children in his village to dare each other to cross the crotchety man's fields. Merlin had let himself be goaded. The result was being caught and thrashed soundly by the old man. And even then, when I could have used magic to escape, I didn't. He hadn't wanted to disappoint his mother further.

"You know what's good for him, Merlin," Hunith said. "But he can't see it himself. Think about Camelot. How much of its history comes from dark magic. The prince never thought he'd touch such a subject, not personally. Magic is fine for you. I'm sure the prince loves it. But for him...it's changed his whole world. He's no longer who he thought he was."

Merlin stared back into the garden, trying to imagine how it would have been for him to learn of his magic at an older age. Maybe it would have been hard for him to grasp. He'd just always been so used to it. His mind flitted back to Morgana and the dreams that had terrified her. The awakening of her magic had been horrifying for her. And Carwyn was so much younger.

"And children sometimes blame you for something, even if you did it in their interest. He doesn't know what magic means for him, and you're the one who put him in this position. It's only natural he's angry."

Merlin sucked in a long breath.

"I used to blame myself for your magic."

Merlin looked up at his mother, eyes wide in surprise. "You blamed yourself?"

Hunith nodded. "That I chose to love a Dragonlord. That you'd come to be for some unknown reason and that you had to suffer hiding yourself."

Merlin gripped her hand tightly. "None of that is your fault. It was destiny and there was nothing you could do about it."

"And what if this is the prince's destiny? Will you blame yourself for what you cannot change?"

Merlin stared. Destiny again, the word that haunted him. "I can't believe I've never had any choice."

Hunith smiled sadly. "You have choices, but even some destinies are strong. And if that is true, Prince Carwyn is supposed to have magic. Perhaps he will be the key to true acceptance of magic in Camelot."

Merlin hadn't thought of it like that.

"The prince needs time and quiet. A place without the weight of future kinghood and the expectations of his people pressing on him. You were wise to bring him here."

Hunith stood and moved back into the house, leaving Merlin in quiet contemplation.

Merlin's eyes fluttered open and he realized he was shaking. He took several deep breaths to calm himself as Gaius had taught him soon after he first returned to Camelot. He hadn't suffered a nightmare in so long. He wiped sweat off his brow, trying to forget the raging storm in his dream and his desperate attempts to save a drowning Arthur.

He heard voices whispering in the next room. He sat up slowly when his shaking wore off. He rose and stepped gingerly over Percival who had insisted on taking the floor. When he reached the doorway, he saw his mother sitting on a bench before the fireplace, Carwyn next to her. He leaned against the doorframe, listening.

"He did that?" Carwyn asked.

Hunith chuckled. "Of course, I was surprised. No mother expects her baby to make his own rattle float through the air."

Carwyn giggled. "I guess not."

Hunith sighed. "You know, magic isn't a curse."

Carwyn looked down at his knees. "Not for Merlin."

"Or you."

Carwyn shrugged.

"Well, you don't have to think about it right now. Tonight you can sleep, and how about tomorrow we just forget worrying about magic and play. There are many village children who would love a new playmate."

Carwyn didn't look up. "I can't...play."

"Princes don't play?" Hunith asked teasingly.

Carwyn looked up with a small smile. "Yes, they do."

"Oh. I was afraid you didn't think you were good enough to play."

"I like to play," Carwyn insisted.

"Then play with them."

"I'll hurt them," Carwyn whispered.

"Why?"

"Not on purpose. But, what if they tease me and I get angry? I've made things happen and..." He broke off, covering his face with his hands, elbows on his knees.

Merlin felt a catch in his throat. Arthur, I'm sorry I did this to your son.

Hunith put an arm around the prince. "Don't worry. Worry doesn't change anything. You can stay with me tomorrow. Is that alright?"

Carwyn nodded.

Merlin pulled back into his room, retracing his steps over Percival. He perched on the edge of the bed, not quite ready to lay back down, unsure of another nightmare. I'll fix this, Arthur. I won't let him live his life in fear.

Morning found Merlin and Percival eating a hearty breakfast and Carwyn being taught by Hunith to make her delicious sweet rolls. Hunith insisted on keeping the prince near her for the rest of the morning and Carwyn adamantly declared he'd stay with her. Merlin retreated to his garden, trying to let it relax him, but his mind was too troubled with the prince.

He knelt next to some potato plants, pulling up weeds. He wished he had his mother's easy way with children. On reflection, he knew his relationship with Carwyn had been fairly easy until now. Magic had changed everything.

Merlin spent the rest of the morning enjoying the garden and its earth, taking breaks to lay flat on his back in the warm sun and let the vibration of life's magic embrace him. He was interrupted during one of his reveries by a shadow. He opened his eyes. His mother stood over him holding out a piece of meat secreted inside a roll of bread. "It's time to eat."

Merlin sat up, observing the sky. Afternoon, then. It didn't take him long to eat the roll. Hunith handed him an apple next. Merlin bit, enjoying the juice that burst into his mouth. Hunith walked back to the house, but stalled in the back doorway. She looked back at Merlin and gestured to him.

He stood, walking over to her. She pointed. Carwyn stood in the front doorway, head against the doorframe. The sounds of children laughing poured in from the path outside. Merlin walked inside the house to peer through the door. He grinned. Percival stood in the lane, half a dozen children gathered around him, and two hanging from each upper arm. He squatted up and down, and the children squealed in delight.

Merlin stepped up next to Carwyn. "Go outside and play," he said in the midst of chewing another bite of apple.

"You're not supposed to chew with your mouth full," Carwyn muttered.

Merlin nodded. So he'd been telling the prince for as long as he could understand.

"I don't want to play." Carwyn turned to wander back into the house.

Merlin followed him with his eyes as the prince meandered to a set of dishes and began to stack them. How many times had he come home dejected from being called names or rejected from play? Home had been a safe place...but not the only one.

"Carwyn."

The prince looked slowly over at him, eyes wary.

"Come with me."

"Where?"

"Just come."

"I don't want..."

"Come."

Carwyn let out a breath and followed Merlin out the door.

"Where are we going?"

Merlin had led the prince into the forest away from the village. "You'll see."

"How much further?" the prince whined.

"We're almost there."

Merlin paused when he reached a mossy curtain hanging from a tall tree. Carwyn caught up to him. "Moss?"

Merlin shook his head. "I didn't bring you out here to see moss. It's what's behind it."

Despite his current feelings about Merlin, Carwyn seemed curious, peering at the moss.

Merlin pulled back the curtain and stepped through. Carwyn came after him. Merlin walked a few more steps and stopped in front of a small indentation in the earth filled with water and surrounded by mossy rocks. All around tiny white flowers bloomed in soft grass. "I didn't know if it would still be here," Merlin spoke quietly. But it was the same.

Carwyn ran his eye over the hidden sanctuary.

"Sometimes when I was angry or hurt or just tired, I'd come here," Merlin said. He sat down and pulled off his boots and socks, then rolled up his pants legs. He stood back up and slowly walked into the water. He stood knee deep, swishing his hands back and forth through the water. He turned to Carwyn standing uncertainly on ground.

He spoke a soft incantation and the water began to glow with a blue light. Merlin pulled his hands out of the water, and some of it came with them, floating just off his hands. He cupped his hands, then drew them slowly apart. A fish molded out of water drifted back and forth between his palms, the glow of the water making it look like the flashing of scales. "I learned to do this here."

Carwyn's eyes were wide. He'd seen Merlin do so many things, but this was so very different. Usually Merlin's magic was practical in nature. Yes, there were the fire creatures he created from flame, but the prince had seen those since he was a baby. This glowing, ethereal water in front of him and the crystal fish swimming back and forth caused him to gape.

"You can do it, too," Merlin said. He dropped his hands and the fish fell back into the water. "Do you want to?"

Carwyn's eyes darted here and there as he warred with himself. "I guess," he finally said.

"Come in then."

Carwyn took off his own shoes and socks and hitched up his pants. He stepped into the glowing water and gasped. Merlin reached out a hand to steady him. "It feels...it feels..."

"It's the magic," Merlin explained. He felt it, too, the glow he'd conjured pulsing through the water and up through his body. It was pleasant.

Carwyn stopped in front of his guardian.

"Close your eyes," Merlin said. Carwyn obeyed. "Calm your mind. Forget worry or anger. Just be here now. Let the shadow calm your heart."

Carwyn breathed deeply.

"Now, feel the magic in the water, how it flows up through you. Pull it up onto your arms and lift them above the water." Merlin smiled. "Open your eyes."

Carwyn's eyes opened. "Wow." His hands were encased in light, the water bobbing here and there as he moved them. "Can I make an animal?"

"That takes practice," Merlin said. "But we have time."

When the warlock and prince left their secret hideaway, Carwyn had managed a crude resemblance of a fish and Merlin felt relief. For the first time Carwyn had been able to use magic apart from negative emotion. They walked back towards the village in the silence of peace instead of anger.

What they did not see were the eyes following their return. Nor did they hear the carefully placed steps trailing them. And when they walked back into the village, they didn't hear the voice that whispered behind a tree.

"So, you've returned, Emrys. And you've brought the prince with you."