A/N: Happy Saturday! I brought you a chapter as a gift.

Good morning, readers. Seeing as the chapter has started and Mellifluousness isn't up yet, I'm going to take the time to tell you all her deepest secrets.

WHAT. I sat bolt upright in bed and glared at the sky for want of something better to glare at. Good, it was clear and blue rather than starry and black.

Darn. And I was so close, too. It's just like you to crush the dreams of your poor, lonely conscience.

Ignoring it- her- thing, I continued work on the ceiling I had run out of time to finish last night. Of course, the first thing I did was block the top of my makeshift dirt stairs, forcing myself to use up some more dirt blocks and build a little tower.

Soon I was completely out of wood, so I went out to get some more. Or at least, I made to go get some more. Suddenly the floor was looking awfully far away...

Oh, that is funny.

Not for me. Shut up.

I dug away one of the dirt blocks from the 'tower' and hopped down to the ground where I was startled by a sudden bout of music. Beautiful, glorious music. Oh, how I love this game!

I chopped down trees and collected and placed saplings while dancing to the beat of this lovely tune. I imagined myself flying over the land, showing off the beauty of Minecraft as the music played.

Soon I had five saplings left and had gathered forty-four trunk blocks. Perfect! I would have plenty of pine wood to finish my ceiling, and possibly the floor too.

I ended up with two sixty-fours and a forty-eight of wood with which to finish the roof. By midday, I sealed the hole above my staircase and began on the floor.

I cleared the snow from the ground with the help of a stone shovel, musing that I could make some snow golems if I found pumpkins. Soon the floor was made of delightful dark wood, but I found that I had to make a hole in the wall near the back of the house simply because it was so dark. That would have to be fixed.

Oh, look, you'll have to go find some coal. Onwards, Mellifluousness! For excitement, for adventure, for your soon-to-be-non-existent life!

Oh, gee, thanks.

You are most welcome.

But I would heed the words of my conscience! I would go out across the taiga in search of coal, as soon as I fixed that dirt block underneath the door! I did so, replacing it with wood, and set out. Oh, wait, I was hungry. I went back inside and put some chicken in the furnace along with some wood. When it was finally done, I ate it and resolved to set out.

It's about time, too. You really are very good at procrastinating.

I began my march across the snowy terrain, stone sword in hand. Over hills and down dales, weaving my way through the pines, skirting frozen-over pools of water and leaping up rises.

Of course, I didn't notice that the sun was setting.

And then the first few waves of darkness spread over the land.

Well done. You're going to get lost and die.

Uh-oh. This is not good. I reached the side of a frozen river and my jaw dropped open at the sight of vine-hung trees and vibrant green on the opposite bank.

A jungle.

What to do? I could proceed into it and explore, risking completely losing my way and getting stuck in there like the last time I went into a jungle, or I could head back home and leave the coal-search for another day.But really, it was a jungle...

I reached a decision. I dashed across the ice, crossed a block-wide stretch of water and dove into the trees. I leapt up onto leafy platforms and wound my way between vines before I started hearing a strange popping noise.

Pop. Pop-pop. Poppop-pop-pop-pop. Pop. What could possibly be making such a sound? I took a few more steps forward and stopped to listen again.

Pop-pop. Pop-op-pop crackle-crackle-crackle...

Fire! Where was it, though? I decided to investigate. Looking around the canopy, I could detect no source of light but I thought the noise was coming from my left, so I headed that way, stopping to listen every few steps. Crackle-crackle-crackle... and what could be making that infernal popping? I hopped up a few hills, using vines to help me... crackle-crackle-crackle... maybe the noise was coming from inside the cliff...?

Clonk.

Oh, crap. I inched around the edge of a cliff, trying to spot the skeleton, listening for the clink-clonk of its bones. Nothing; the land was dark and silent. I seemed to have lost the popping sound and the fire, too. Great.

I leapt onto a tree to survey the land and was rewarded with the most beautiful of sights, a frosty, dim panorama of pine trees and ice and rivers. Lovely!

Urrrrrgh.

Oh, look, a zombie's come to play. I'd say that it's going to eat your brains, but you don't have any to be eaten.

The undead man was wandering around on the forest floor, arms out ahead of him. He hadn't noticed me yet. A walked a little way along my current leafy platform and, seeing a gap ahead of me, decided I could easily make the jump. I walked calmly towards it, preparing to leap.

It was only when I was sitting on the top of a smaller tree, legs feeling as though they were on fire, that I realised that the gap had been two blocks wide. I stifled a groan of pain lest the zombie hear me and stood up again. I needed to find my way back to my house and I needed to do it now.

Just then, it started to rain. I noticed a zombie right behind me and hacked at it, surprised, until it disappeared in a puff of smoke. Now thoroughly drenched and totally terrified because the zombie had looked an awful lot like Steve or Herobrine in the dimness of night, I collected the experience orbs and rotten flesh that it had dropped and looked around, shivering. I made my way out of the trees and onto the ice-fields beyond the shore.

It was snowing there. Oh, how lovely. Unfortunately, the glow-eyed spider that stood near me on the ice seemed to think the same. I stepped to either side of it, trying to work out how to deal with this latest issue, when it noticed me with a cry of "Shcee-oo!" and raced towards me. I killed it with a few swipes of my sword, ashamed that I had to do such a thing in the surrealistic, dancing snow. "We could have been friends. We could have enjoyed the snow together. I could have taken you back to my house and we could have shared a not-so-Christmas dinner and have been all happy, but you chose violence and forced me to defend myself. I'm sorry, friend spider. I'm sorry." I left that place with a rather heavy heart, vowing to come back some day and mark the spider's grave.

But wait, what was this hole in the ground? I raced towards the massive pit, which I found was simply an enormous hole with lava in the bottom and the ubiquitous snowflakes spiralling down into it and coating its ridges with a blanket of white. How pretty. I wondered why it was there, and thoughts of Israphel crept their way into my mind.

It's a natural hole, girl. You've been watching too much Yogscast.

Yes, right, I have. Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming from my right and whipped around to find a creeper approaching me. I gave a shriek of surprise before chopping it into pieces. Poor creeper, I thought as I collected the sulphur it dropped. Resolving that I had not seen the aforementioned death-pit on my way to the rainforest, I decided I would have to head in another direction and into the taiga. I chose one that looked relatively appropriate and dashed into the trees.

It was when I had killed another spider, outran a zombie, creeper and skeleton, fallen off cliffs enough times to bring my health down to three hearts, sprinted far enough to bring my hunger down to two, chased a few chickens around for their meat and collected enough snow on my body to make me look like a snow golem that I decided I was...

Totally lost.