Author's Notes: Hello my fine readers, here's the rest of Christmas 1991, and something to get excited about, Sirius in a leather jacket. I want to thank everyone who is reading, and I would love to hear what you think. The hit count is fairly high, and I only have one reviewer. It would help to read them, I'm at my parents house, helping my mom recover from rather extensive back reconstruction surgery, and your notes would certainly brighten my day. Thanks so much in advance. Songs for this chapter: almost anything from the "Nutcracker Ballet" and then the "Piano Concerto # 17 in D Minor" by Beethoven. That peice is nicknamed "The Tempest" and it fits Anwen's mood at the end to a tee. Again, thanks so much for your reading and reviewing. My deep thanks to my beta, Peter, for his quick and remarkable work and I don't own this world or the characters, I just like to show what life might have been like if Harry's parents had lived. Enjoy. Mutt
Chapter 3:
Knowing When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
Sirius POV:
I had dressed myself in Anwen's favorite charcoal gray suit with a white dress shirt, even gone as far as to purchase a rather stupid looking Muggle Christmas tie, with holly berries on it to wear on days such as this, when we were trying to pass for a regular couple in London. My hair was pulled back off my face and I had trimmed the facial hair so that I looked presentable. Anwen will be pleased with just how 'normal' I appear. I went down and knocked on Harry's bedroom door as we needed to be leaving. He'd dressed himself in a red and navy stripped sweater and a pair of khaki pants. Thank goodness Lily didn't try to make him wear a suit. No need for both of us to be uncomfortable.
"Hey kiddo" I said as I opened the door. "You ready to go?" He looked up at me and gave me half of a smile.
"Are you sure that it's not sissyish to be going to the ballet?" he asked. I had to think about my answer for a moment. I walked over and put an arm around his shoulder.
"Harry my boy, it is never a sissy thing to do something that makes someone else happy, especially when you love that someone. The ballet is not my thing, but your Aunt Winnie loves it and someone that she is friends with is dancing today, so it's very important to her," I explained. "For today, if it makes her happy, then it makes me happy, and I don't think anyone would call me a sissy," I added, cocking my eyebrow at him and flashing that Marauder smile that made my wife nervous. He shook his head and gave me a matching grin. "You love your Aunt Winnie, right?"
"Almost as much as I love Mum," he answered, looking like I'd offended him at the suggestion that he might not love Winnie.
"Well then, going today makes her happy. Come on, we don't want those pretty ladies waiting too long for us." I moved my hand off his shoulder and we started for the door. Harry suddenly stopped.
"Wait, I almost forgot my wallet. I had Dad change over some of my allowance to pounds so that I could shop while we were in London. I need presents for Mum, Dad and Evan," he explained, reaching into his wardrobe for the small brown billfold. He stowed it away in his pants pocket. Just to be safe, I put a slight sticking charm on it, to keep it where it was until Harry decided to take it out. We wouldn't want a fun day to be ruined by a pickpocket while we were in the city.
Downstairs, he grabbed his dark blue pea coat and we flooed over to Grimmauld place, after saying his goodbyes. The girls were already there, waiting in the dining room. Anwen had on the most beautiful green sweater that hugged her curves and made her eyes sparkle. Ginny looked adorable in Anwen's old dress.
"Well, it would seem that we've found the loveliest ladies in all of London," I announced as I walked over to my wife and pulled her to me. "You look stunning and I missed you," I added as I gently kissed her hello.
"You look quite dashing as well, and I missed you too; but love, I don't think a dragon tooth goes well with the outfit," she said, her hand going to my earring. I had forgotten that it was even there. She gently removed it, and laid it down on the sideboard. Then she summoned one of her diamond studs and carefully slid it into the hole, and attached the back. "Much better, more dignified, but undeniably sexy," she said, pulling my head down to kiss the earring and my ear.
"Argh!" Harry moaned from behind us; Ginny was giggling. "You're the grown ups, act like it!" he admonished, using the same words that he used when James and Lily were affectionate with each other. Winnie slipped away from me, looking over at our charges for the afternoon.
"Okay you two, calm down. What would you like for lunch?" she asked the pair. They looked at each other, and then back at her, and in unison replied, "Pizza!" Of course. Winnie nodded at them and we all put on our overcoats and headed out the front door. I made sure that there was no one looking as we stepped through the wards, or it would have seemed that we had materialized in thin air.
We traversed across the park in the square and headed to the main street. We found an empty booth at the pizzeria that Anwen and I frequented and we were greeted by name. Guess we come here more than I thought. I enjoyed a pint while the kids had Muggle soda pop. Ginny had never had it before, and liked the way the bubbles tickled her nose when she brought the glass to her lips.
"Aunt Winnie, Uncle Sirius said you know someone who is dancing today?" Harry asked her.
"Yes, that's why we're sitting in one of the boxes. A friend of mine is part of the company. Her name is Clara Lewis, and she will be the Sugar Plum Fairy, her husband is dancing the role of the Mouse King," Anwen explained. Clara had been married for a few years, I remember her wedding, I had never seen so many very skinny people in one room before.
"Wow. How do you know her?" Ginny said, sounding impressed.
"When we were younger, we studied ballet and music together. I wasn't much older than the two of you when we met," Anwen replied quietly. She had never really told either of the children about her life before Hogwarts, or her special, non-magical skills.
"You studied ballet?" Ginny said, sounding more impressed.
"Yes, for quite a few years. In fact, your Uncle Sirius used to hate the way it made my feet look," Anwen told them, I nodded in agreement. She told them a little about her days dancing, as well as singing. Harry knew that she had musical skills, but not the extent of those skills. The pizza came, and we all ate in a comfortable silence. I paid the bill and we went and hailed a cab.
The theater was beautiful and we were led to one of the boxes to the left of the stage. Clara's parents and her younger sister were already there. The Walkers embraced Anwen and shook my hand. Anwen had kept up with Clara, even after all of these years. We often met for dinner in London, and every year we went to the Walkers' for their New Year's Day At Home. My wife introduced the children, and they all commented on Ginny's dress. She proudly said that it was Anwen's as a child and that she was thrilled to be able to wear it. I could see the pride in Winnie's face.
Anwen and the kids sat in the first row, along with Clara's sister, Doey. That's one odd name, I hope it's short for something. Harry was on one side of Anwen, Ginny on the other. Throughout the show, she would explain things to them, or point out important dance moves or interesting things about the set. She never misses a chance to turn something into a teaching moment. She must be wonderful at the Auror School. I know Moody had recently decided that she would be teaching Crime Scene analysis in the new term. I could tell from the way that she was pointing things out to the kids that she would be wonderful at it. She saw things that most people would let go unnoticed.
When the show was over, Anwen took Harry and Ginny backstage to meet Clara and some of the dancers, while I waited in the lobby. Several women had walked by me, making eyes at me. It was like this whenever I went out into London, but I just ignored them. The only woman that I found attractive anymore was my beautiful and beloved wife. I wandered over to the souvenir stand, and I noticed a snow globe that had the Christmas Party Scene inside. It played one of the pieces of music from the ballet when you wound it up. I purchased it, and slipped it inside the pocket of my overcoat. Just then, the others emerged from backstage.
"Uncle Sirius, you wouldn't believe how big it is back there. The ceiling is so high," Harry said, sounding very impressed. I nodded at him.
"I know, I've been back there," I confirmed. "How is Clara?" I asked my wife, looking over Harry's head at her.
"She's wonderful. She said hello and hopes that she will see us next week at her parents. I told her I wasn't sure if we would be back from our Anniversary trip or not." She seemed a little sad, but I didn't want to press it now. I could feel her sadness, so I sent her as much love as I could, seeing as we were in a crowded lobby. She smiled at me.
"Well, I believe that we have other stops to make this afternoon? Should we be off?" I asked and she nodded at me. We walked out onto the street, and Winnie instinctively took Ginny's hand, while I put a protective hand on Harry's shoulder. I could feel the shield that Winnie cast over us all as well. The trip from the West End to Harrods was long, but it was fun for the kids to ride both the double decker bus and the Underground. Ginny had spent little time in Muggle London, and her eyes were wide with excitement. Both kids kept pointing at things and smiling brightly. Winnie even got Harry to do some Latin translations based on street names. I can't believe she is still pushing the Latin with him, even out here. I wonder if he realizes that she is doing lessons even now?
We arrived at the large retailer, and it was obvious that neither of the kids had ever been in a Muggle department store. Anwen and I came over often, especially when she was shopping for her family in Canada. They were both wide eyed as we entered and started to make our way around the store. We walked through department after department, floor after floor. The kids stopped to look at things and kept pointing items out to us. We stepped off the escalator, onto the floor where the women's lingerie department was, and I had every intention of heading over, until my dear wife grabbed my hand.
"Sirius, don't even think about it," she whispered under her breath.
"Why?" I said, grinned at her.
"Because, I don't think that either sets of parents would appreciate your taking these children over there. They haven't hit puberty yet, I don't think you should push them into it today," she admonished me. I pouted at her. She let out a deep breath. "You can come back and buy whatever you would like for our trip dear, just not now," she relented, but her unhappiness was clearly evident.
We went and had some hot chocolate and biscuits at the food court, and then we had to settle down to do some actual shopping. We first started at the children's level, Harry picking out a stuffed lion for his little brother.
"He'll be in Gryffindor someday, so he needs to have his own lion," he said. He proudly paid for it himself.
"You know, I said the same thing when I got yours for you when you were five," I told him. I wasn't even sure if he remembered our trip to the Welsh Mountain Zoo, but it was special for me. That was the first time that I realized just how amazing Anwen was with children, and how much I really did want to have children with her someday. It can't come soon enough now.
In the men's department, Harry found a pair of rather garish holiday socks for his father. They were a sort of golden yellow color with a large Christmas Tree on them. They were of course, on sale, so Harry chose to get them for his Dad. I had tried to stop him, but once again, Winnie placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, and turned us so that we were facing away from Harry.
"Sirius, one of the joys of parenthood are the odd gifts that your children pick out for you. I remember buying my mother some perfume at the corner store in the village where we lived. I was so proud of myself for the purchase, and she had tears in her eyes when she opened it. I thought that it was because she liked the gift, turns out that the stuff smelled like vinegar and it shocked her when she opened it. However, if you ask my Ma what one of her favorite gifts from me was, she will tell you that it was the perfume, because it made me so happy to give it to her. Yes, they are ugly, but James will most likely put them on tomorrow as soon as he opens them." she had such a soft smile on her face, I couldn't help but acquiesce.
"I'll bet you five Galleons that James does not put those on tomorrow," I challenged, I know my best friend better than she did.
"I'll take that bet," she said, smiling and shaking her head. We saw Ginny eying a tie a few rounds away from us, and Winnie walked over to her.
"Ginny, what did you find dear?" I heard her ask as I went and stood with Harry in the queue to pay for his purchase.
"This tie. It plays music when you press it." The holiday tie was ugly as all get out, but when you pressed a button in the bottom, it did indeed play a sort of metallic sounding Christmas carol. "My Daddy would be so excited about this," Ginny said, sounding a little sad. She was correct however, Arthur Weasley, and his love of all things Muggle, would think that this tie was the most wonderful present. Anwen always enjoyed shopping for him, because he appreciated the most mundane of things. "I don't have any Muggle money."
"Ginny, how about if I loan you some money, and then you can come over and work it off for me? I am going to need some help around the house, cataloging some books after the first of the year. After your lessons you can help me put the book plates in and put them away on the shelves," Anwen suggested sweetly, and the little girl's face lit up. Ginny nodded at her and grabbed the tie and headed over to join us. Once they were standing behind us, Anwen reached into her bag and took out a 10 pound note, and gave it to Ginny. "Give me the change, and I'll hold onto it, since you don't have a bag with you. Okay?" Ginny nodded at her. I looked at the choice curiously, knowing full well that there was much more money in Anwen's purse, since she had taken a fair amount of cash out the last time we were at Gringotts; and yet, she only gave Ginny such a small amount.
We finished in the men's department, and they both found a small piece of jewelry for their mothers and paid for the purchases. Both kids were keenly aware of how much they had left, and chose to make purchases within their limits. Anwen praised them for making wise decisions, and for staying on their budgets. Why is she doing that? If they needed more money I would have been more than willing to give it to them. I felt myself getting frustrated at my wife. She must have felt it, because she turned and looked at me confused, and somewhat hurt.
It was nearly dinner time when we were finished, and we got a cab back to Grimmauld Place. Kreacher had made us a thick beef stew for dinner. Before we took the kids home, Winnie helped them wrap their purchases for their parents so that they would remain a surprise. Before they left, I took the snow globe out of my pocket and handed it to Ginny. She shook it and smiled brightly at me, and then threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly.
"Thank you, Uncle Sirius. It's perfect. I've never had anything so pretty," she beamed.
"You're welcome. Have a very Happy Christmas, Ginny," I said, kissing the top of her head. I looked over at my beloved Winnie, and she had tears in her eyes. The wave of love and lust she sent to me enveloped me and surrounded me and I smiled at her.
Winnie left first with Ginny, to take her back to the Burrow. The Weasleys were leaving in the morning for Romania to visit Charlie, where he was learning to care for dragons. The kids were all being shuffled off to Molly's Auntie Muriel's, which we had found out from Ginny, had all of them dreading Christmas. I was tempted to floo call Molly, and let her know that they were welcome to come and stay with us, but then I remembered that Winnie had to work hard to get her time off this year, and I doubted that taking care of the 5 youngest Weasley's would be what she would consider "relaxing".
I thanked Kreacher for his fine meal, and let him know that we would not be back before we left for Monaco. He bowed at me, and then went to his quarters. The house was closed and shuttered and I checked the wards before I left again. Shortly after I arrived back at the Manor, Anwen got back from the Burrow.
"I think the kids will fall right off tonight. We did a lot while we were out today. Molly thanked us for giving Ginny such a nice day, and sent some boxes back with me, three guesses what's in them," she said, slipping down into a chair, removing her shoes. She was across the room from me, which was odd. We usually sat together. Clearly, something is bothering my wife. She was so happy just a few minutes ago, what happened? Remus came in and joined us, followed shortly by Lily and Evan. James had gone out to run some errands.
"Winnie, are we baking tomorrow?" Lily said hopefully. Anwen was the best baker of the bunch, and at the moment there were no biscuits for Christmas in the house.
"Of course Lils. I'll check the supplies first thing in the morning, and head to the market if necessary. There are a few men in this house who would be quite put out if I didn't make them their favorites," Winnie said with a slight smile on her face. Conversation flowed for the rest of the night, but Anwen stayed quiet, often just staring into the flames of the fire. Remus got out the Wizard chess set, and we started a rather deliberate and intense game. When it was done, I realized that Anwen wasn't with us anymore. I went up to our room and found her balled up in bed with the covers over her head. I quickly undressed and got ready for bed and slid in with her. I was surprised to find her awake, her face tear stained.
"Love, what's the matter?" I asked her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close.
"It's nothing," she said, trying to brush me off. I wasn't going to let her.
"Anwen, it's not nothing. You've been sad for most of the day, and far too quiet. Come now, what is it that's got you so upset?" I said, stroking her shoulder and down her back.
"Clara is pregnant. She is due to have her baby in late May. They weren't even trying to have a baby," sounding almost angry about it. I wasn't sure what to say, knowing full well that there was nothing that could be said that would make her feel better.
"Anwen, she didn't do it on purpose, and if she had known what we'd been through, she may not have even told you," I said gently, hoping that it was the right thing. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I could feel her tense. Nope, not the right thing. She rolled away from me, turning her back to me.
I lay there for a while, still stroking her shoulders and back, sending her my love and comfort. She had been so difficult to predict lately. Ever since she had to change jobs within the department, she was running hot and cold, and her moods were giving me whiplash. I had no idea what to do to help her, no idea even what she needed. Days like today, she is still a mystery to me. I've known her most of her life, and yet, I don't know that I will ever really understand her. The one thing I am sure of, is that I love her more now that I ever thought was possible. I just want her to be happy. Her breathing began to slow down, and I could feel her muscles releasing their tension. I thought she may have fallen asleep, but then she rolled herself back over, and burrowed herself into me, finding her normal sleeping position. Her little hand, with it's wedding band came to rest over my heart, and I was filled with the warmth of her love. I brought my right hand over to covers while my left arm wrapped around her and held her to me. She let out a contented sigh and then I could feel the sleep claim her. "I love you, my little one. All I want is for you to be happy," I whispered into her hair, and I let myself succumb to slumber as well.
Anwen POV:
I yawned and stretched, and was surprised to find myself alone in our bed. I rolled over, and looked toward the windows. I could see light beyond the draperies, and was shocked to find that I had slept this late. I can't remember the last time that I was awake after sunrise, and I certainly can't remember the last time that I was up after Sirius. I stretched again and decided that I needed to get up. As I was pulling myself up into a sitting position, I was surprised when the door to the room flew open, and my husband came in, carrying a breakfast tray. I couldn't help but smile at him. This should be interesting, Sirius can't cook, at all. His culinary skills extend as far as boiling water for tea and perhaps making toast, but that's it.
"Good morning sleepy head. I wasn't sure if you were ever going to get up this morning," he said, carrying the tray over to me. "Of course, I was looking forward to waking you up," he added with a swagger and grin that let me know he had given it far too much thought.
"Well, that can wait for Monaco. So what do you have there?" I asked as he joined me on the bed.
"Toast, fruit and coffee. I hope it's strong enough. I haven't had to make you coffee in quite a while, so I had to try and remember how much to use," he was beaming.
"I'm sure it will be fine. What time is it?" I asked, taking a triangle of the toast. It was burned.
"After 9:30. Harry is itching for you to get up and get baking. I told him that he needed to let you sleep, but he couldn't understand why." I leaned over and kissed him.
"Thank you darling. It was nice to have a lay in for a change." I leaned myself against him and we ate in near silence. These were the moments of my life that I appreciated the most; the quiet moments where I could simply be with Sirius, without anything weighing in on us. The overwhelming sense of foreboding that had been with me for the last few months seemed to abate with the light of morning, and was replaced with the feeling of delight at my husband's sweet gesture. I felt better about everything as we sat there, relishing our closeness. I finished the toast and fruit, and went to drink my coffee. It took everything to swallow it down, and not spit it out over the duvet cover on the bed. It reminded me of tar. Well, nearly everything was perfect this morning. I continued to pretend to drink it, but I was actually sending it to the bathroom sink and down the drain. I would need to make more coffee once I was downstairs.
The rest of the day was spent in the kitchen with Lily. We baked 5 different kinds of biscuits, including fancy cut out ones that Harry and I decorated together. I was surprised that there were any left at the end of the day, because the guys kept coming into the kitchen and helping themselves, even if the cookies weren't done. I finally had to put a shield up over them, so that we could at least have enough left for dinner and for Christmas Day.
I helped Lily with the Roast Beef and Yorkshire pudding for dinner. I always did the whisking by hand, rather than with magic, because I thought that it produced a better froth for the eggs. Lily, Remus and I went to church in town at 11, leaving James and Sirius home with the boys. It didn't bother me that Sirius didn't come with me, it was always something that was much more important to me than it ever was to him. The three of us appreciated the quiet of the service and the chance to just sit and relax.
We awoke Christmas morning to Harry bounding through the hallway, banging on the doors and yelling "Happy Christmas!" working hard to be waking everyone up. Clearly he is anxious to be opening his presents.
"I thought he was over the whole Father Christmas phase," Sirius grumbled as I pulled the blankets down, exposing him to the cold air.
"He's still a child Sirius, and he knows that there are presents down there. Come on, get up," I chided him, slipping my feet into my big, fuzzy slippers and grabbing my robe from the door of the loo. Sirius was up and pulling a Molly original sweater from a few years ago over his head, he had pulled his old jeans on already.
"Happy Christmas love," he said, pulling me to him, and kissing me deeply. I love the way he tastes, like chocolate and salt.
"Happy Christmas," I replied when the kiss ended. I pulled myself tightly to him, hugging him with all of the strength I had. I felt so safe when I was wrapped in his arms. We opened the door, and we were greeted by Harry, hands on his hips, a rather frustrated look on his face.
"I wasn't sure that you were ever going to get up. Old people." Harry said, his voice clued us in on his irritation at the situation.
"Yup, that's us Harry. Ready for the rest home. Come on, let's get down there," Sirius said pulling his wand out from his jeans pocket, lifting him off the ground and levitating him down the stairs. Remus was walking down behind me, and I looked back at him.
"I swear, it's like he's frozen at 17 some days." I rolled my eyes, and Remus laughed at me, nodding his head.
Harry opened his presents first. He got several new books on Quidditch and some other school supplies. His parents had even gotten him season tickets for Pride of Portree for the upcoming summer. The seats were in the second row, in the center of the pitch. Harry actually danced around the room when he opened them.
Sirius had picked out some very nice Seeker gloves for Harry, in Gryffindor colors, and we had his name and number stitched on them. We had also gotten him a regulation practice Snitch, so that we could play pick up games here at the Manor. Harry was thrilled with them, giving his godfather a high five, but allowing himself to hug me. He also received his very first Weasley sweater, producing sniggers from his father and godfather; but Harry was delighted with it. He and Ron had always been friends, but it seemed that since they now shared a dorm, they had become even closer. Many of Harry's adventures involved Ron and a girl they met at school named Hermione. She was Muggle born, like Lily and I, and very bright. I wonder how she puts up with the two of them. I had watched Harry and Ron together since they were five, and I had to be honest, they often drove me nutters when they were together.
The best gift however, came from his father. Harry's eyes opened wide when he unwrapped the gift, and slipped it from its wrappings.
"Dad, are you sure that you want to give this to me?" Harry asked.
"I'm sure. I can disillusion myself. This has been in my family for generations, and I think that it's time that it was yours. Use it wisely, but if I find out that you've been abusing it, I won't hesitate to take it away," James admonished his son. Harry nodded, picking up the Invisibility Cloak and throwing it over his shoulders.
"Cool, my body is gone. Dad, this is so neat. Thank you." Harry took it off and went over and hugged James. Lily had tears in her eyes, seeing the affection between her older son and his father.
When he was done opening gifts, Harry very proudly presented the gifts that he had gotten everyone. He had found small items for Remus, Sirius and me while he was at Diagon Alley with his mother when he first arrived back in London from Hogwarts. I could tell that a great deal of thought went into each present, especially the container of magical flea bath for his godfather. I think that I will appreciate that more than Sirius.
He then gave his parents and brother the items we had gotten on our trip to Harrods. Evan was able to sit up, with the help of Uncle Remus, and began chewing on the stuffed lion.
"You don't put it in your mouth, silly." Harry tried to tell his brother, but as soon as he pulled the lion's ear out of Evan's mouth, the baby immediately put it back in.
"Harry, it's what babies do at his age. Everything goes in their mouths," I explained to him, and he sighed.
"Yuck!" he said, making a face at the now drool–laden lion's ear.
Lily loved the little pin that Harry had picked out for her. There were two charms on it, both in the shape of little boys, one had an H on it, and the other an E. She hugged her son and attached it to her pajamas. "When did you become such a thoughtful young man?" she questioned him, holding his face between her hands. She hugged him again. Harry just shrugged at her. When James opened the socks, he did a wonderful job of suppressing his desire to laugh at the color of the foot coverings.
"Harry, these are great! I've never seen anything like them!"
"I know. They're Gryffindor gold and Christmas-y!" the boy proclaimed. James then proceeded to take the white tube socks he had worn downstairs off, and put the monstrosities that he had received on. I leaned over to my husband and stroked his neck and whispered. "You can leave my money in my cloak love." He looked at me sideways and shook his head.
Harry started playing with Evan and the adults began exchanging gifts. I had found some interesting things for everyone, and Sirius and I were glad at their responses when they opened them. James then handed me a rather large, heavy object.
"That is for you, Anwen. I hope that it will come in handy." I looked at him puzzled, but he said nothing more. I tore into the wrap and was so excited at what I found. Inside was a large Muggle book about crime scene investigations: how they analyzed a scene, how they stored evidence, how the tagged and photographed things, all of it.
"James, this is amazing. Where did you get it?" I said, not really looking at him, I was already thumbing through the book.
"We were in London a few weeks back, and I saw it in a book store near University. Sirius had told me that you would be teaching it next term at the Auror school, so I thought you would find how Muggles do it interesting." I put the book aside, and stood up.
"Thank you, it's perfect," I said, hugging him. He smiled down at me.
"Can you imagine what King and Mad–Eye will say, if you tell them that you're using a Muggle reference book for the class?" Sirius said behind me.
"I can't wait to tell Fudge and Umbridge." A wicked smile crept across my face. "King will be happy that we are expanding their horizons and Mad–Eye has complete control over the program, and he'll let me do whatever I feel like doing, but Fudge and his toadie will have a cow," I giggled.
"Perhaps we will need to visit you on that day," James suggested, and everyone broke into laughter. I nodded my agreement.
After a while, when Lily had gotten up to feed the boys their brunch, Sirius and I exchanged gifts. I had gotten Sirius a new leather jacket to wear when he rode his motorbike. He had a rather bad spill in the early fall, and had ripped up the sleeve and back pretty badly. I had tried to repair it, but given its age, it was simply falling apart. He'd been wearing the same one since he had gotten the bike, while we were still in school.
"Love, it's perfect." He said, slipping his arms into the jacket. It fit him quite well, and with his hair down and his ripped jeans, he looked dangerous and undeniably sexy. He must have felt my emotions, because he looked at me with desire and longing in his eyes. "Maybe we will leave for Monaco tonight," he whispered. I said nothing, just rolling my bottom lip with my teeth. He pulled a large box out from behind the tree and brought it over to me, sitting back down.
"What's this?" I said, unable to figure out what he might have gotten me that would need such a large box.
"Something I thought that you could use. Go on, open it." My husband said, wrapping his arm over my shoulders. His excitement was palpable, and I could feel how important this gift was to him. What in the world has him this keyed up? I tore into the paper, but all that was there was a red dragon hide case. He urged me to undo the latches and I did, and then flipped the case open. Inside was a new, clearly custom made broom, lying in black velvet. I had never seen anything like it. I gently rubbed my hands across it.
"The handle is made from willow wood, since it's light and durable and the grip is an alloy that is made from a Muggle metal called titanium. There is a cold weather cover for it made of sheepskin and it has stability control as well as speed control. It's also charmed so that it repels dark magic spells and hexes," Sirius announced proudly. I took the broom from the case and held it gently. I could see the runes beneath the grip, and running down the length of the broom.
"Sirius, why? How?" Words were failing me. I can't even begin to imagine how expensive this broom was. I had never, in my life, seen anything like it.
"You're having to fly more now, and you haven't gotten a new broom since your sixth year. It's the newest Firebolt, it was only released for general purchase a few weeks ago. I went to the broom maker I went to for your first broom and explained what I wanted; they were all too happy to do a custom overhaul for me," he said proudly. It was the right height and weight for me and it hummed in my hand. It's beautiful, but why on earth had he spent so much money. I remembered how much I had paid for my broom a little over 13 years ago, and I couldn't even fathom just how much something like this would have cost.
"Sirius, why did you spend so much money? My broom was fine," I said before I realized it was even coming out of my mouth. The blood drained from my face when I looked over at him and I understood that I had hurt him. "Love, I'm sorry, that didn't come out right. It's a beautiful broom, and I really do love it, I'm just surprised, I never expected a new broom, not when mine was more than adequate." Words were just tumbling out of me, and again, I knew that I had stepped in it.
"Anwen, I was just worried about your having to fly so much now. You're out on duty three times a week, and your broom is old, and it wasn't a very good one to start with," Sirius said, obviously getting frustrated that I hadn't received the gift the way that he had hoped. "If you had let us buy you a good one back then, I wouldn't have been so worried, but you had to be so stubborn about it."
"Well, please dear, tell me what you really think," I said sarcastically.
"Anwen, it was a mid–level broom that you wouldn't have even been able to buy if James and I hadn't helped you pay for it. You are so bull headed about money. We have more than enough of it to buy anything and everything over and over again," he said, standing up. He and James had helped to pay for my broom? I set the new broom back down in the case and went to look at him face on.
"You and James helped to pay for my broom? When I told you specifically not to?" Tears were forming behind my eyes, and I went from being angry to humiliated in a second. He must have felt the change in my emotions, because he immediately softened.
"Anwen, you had just gotten hurt because you were flying so recklessly, we were just worried if you tried a stunt like that on a cheap broom, well, you'd get really seriously hurt," he said, coming toward me, trying to put his arms around me. I just stood there. "It wasn't a problem for us to help you."
"That's always your answer isn't it? Money isn't a problem, we've got plenty." I broke free of him. "Sirius, I don't agree with you on that point." I looked around the room. Remus and James were still sitting in the lounge with us, their mouths hanging open. Lily had come to stand in the door between the kitchen and lounge, probably to block our conflict from the boys. "I'm sorry everyone, please excuse me." I was humiliated at what had been said, and worse that it had been said in front of our family. Tears were streaming down my face, and I ran from the room.
I got upstairs and sealed the room. James and Sirius practiced their curse breaking skills on my wards. They had yet to break one. I'll be alone for a while. I flung myself down on the bed and let myself cry my emotions out. I don't know why I am so upset here. Well that's a lie, you know exactly why you are upset. At some point you are going to have to tell Sirius what you found out, but not today, not like this. I could hear him outside the room, begging me to let him in. I shook my head at him, even though he wasn't going to be able to see it. I quickly did a cleaning charm on myself, and threw on some clothes and trainers and apparated myself right out of the room. I wanted to be alone to think things through.
James POV:
Sirius bounded back down the stairs. "She's locked herself in there, and we aren't going to break down that ward, unless she wants us to," he added, clearly frustrated. "What the hell did I do here? Why is she so upset?" He threw himself down on the couch, and it slid a foot across the floor, leaving a gouge in the wood panels. Need to fix that before Lily sees it.
"Well, for starters, did you actually think that she knew that we had helped pay for her broom her sixth year?" I asked him.
"I don't know. I never thought about it. I mean, come on, a sale just for students? It was a pretty lame story you came up with."
"It was, but she believed it. And it was thirteen years ago. Sirius, why did you bring it up now?"
"Because," he said, obviously unable to come up with a better answer. Because she didn't gush over your gift, so you wanted to make her feel bad. "Why can't she just accept a gift, for the reason that it's given, without having to justify it? Doesn't she get that we have enough money, more than enough money?" He threw his arms up in the air.
"She does, Sirius; but she has a different attitude about money than you do," Remus spoke up. I knew that this was something about her that he understood better than either of us ever would. "Just because everything is great now, it doesn't mean it will be in the future. She would rather budget and save so that she knows that she will have enough, no matter what comes." His tone was calm, but there was an insistence to what he was saying.
"But there will be. She was doing the same thing with the kids when we took them shopping. She praised them for making choices that stayed within the amount of money they had with them. We could have helped them pay for whatever they wanted," Sirius complained, clearly not hearing us.
"Well, I am glad that she did," I said, frustrated at my best friend for his shortsighted view of things. "Face it, Harry will never want for anything, but that doesn't mean that we don't want him knowing the value of things, and the importance of living within your means. Those are skills that may come in handy later in life," I told him sternly. Sirius looked at me with the most peculiar look on his face, like I was speaking a foreign language. He said nothing, but it was almost as if you could see the wheels turning in his head. His concentration was broken by Lily entering the room.
"She's not upstairs anymore. I don't know where she is," she said clearly concerned. We all looked at Sirius.
"Bollocks," was all that he responded, and then he closed his eyes. "I can still feel her, but that doesn't mean much. Even when I'm in London and she's off on duty somewhere, I can feel her. She's hurt and frustrated, and very embarrased." He raked his hands through his hair. "Look guys, you should know, she hasn't been herself for the last few months. The stuff with loosing the baby and then being transferred back to the Auror corps, she's been a bit of a mess. I've been worried about her," he said quietly.
"Well, I think the first thing we should do is check around here. Remus, go look through the bedrooms. Sirius, why don't you take the outside? Lily, stay with the kids and if she comes in, keep her with you. I'll go through the rest of this floor," I said, and everyone nodded. I walked across the entryway, and checked the Library. It was dark. I went to the ballroom, which was also dark, but I still went in. I traversed across the wooden floor, and twisted the handle on the conservatory door. She was in here, her fingers nimbly moving across the piano keyboard. Her eyes were closed and she was obviously working out the keys. I leaned against the door frame and watched her. I hadn't seen her play since the concert her last year at Hogwarts, but this was so much more impressive. She continued to pound away at the keys. Without taking my eyes off of her, I quickly fired off a patronus to let the others know that I had found her, and that everything was okay. I didn't tell them where we were, just in case she wasn't ready to talk with Sirius yet.
I was amazed at how she could convey emotion though her hands and the hard keys of the piano. Sadness, longing, irritation, frustration and more were evident in her playing. Her breathing was labored, and she even seemed to be breaking out into a sweat at one point, but she just kept her eyes closed and continued to play. I wasn't sure how long I stood there, watching her play, but the piece finally came to a close. I slipped inside the room, closing the door behind me. "Bravo," I whispered at her, not wanting to scare her. Anwen's head popped up at me.
"That was amazing. What was it?" I asked her.
"Oh, James, I didn't know anyone was here." She said, shaking her head. "It's the Beethoven #17 in D Minor; it's nicknamed 'The Tempest'. It helps me think. I'm sorry for ruining everyone's Christmas, I don't know what came over me," she said, putting her head in her hands on the edge of the piano.
"You didn't ruin anything; Sirius is just worried about you." I sat down on the bench next to her.
"Why didn't I know that the two of you helped pay for my broom?" She had turned her head to look at me.
"We should have told you," I confessed. "Anwen, you were always a crazy flier. You buzzed me the first day you were on a broom. The ones you could afford would have been really dangerous if you tried a trick like that on them. It was a way to help make you safe. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you back then."
"Okay. I'm sorry I lost it. He can just be so over the top sometimes," she sighed.
"Yup. And you do love him for it. What else is bothering you?" I asked her.
"It's just the money, James. Do you know, in all of the years that Sirius and I have shared the accounts, I have never once touched any of it. Even while he was away, I did everything with the funds that I had earned. I know how much I bring in and spend accordingly. I don't think he's ever realized it. He doesn't pay attention to those things. Plus, there's some other stuff, stuff from work," she whispered.
"What things?" I asked her. She shook her head at me.
"I should talk with him about it first." I put a hand on her shoulder.
"Anwen, I appreciate the way that you look at things, and from what Sirius said, you really helped Harry understand the value of things when you were shopping the other day. Thank you. Those are lessons that he doesn't get when I tell him, maybe he will listen to you," I told her. She still had tears in her eyes, but she gently smiled at me. "Just talk to Sirius; he loves you so deeply, but sometimes..."
"I know," she interrupted me. I knew that she did indeed understand where I was going.
"Come on, let's go get some brunch. Your husband is really worried about you." She nodded at me, and we left the room. When we reached the entryway, Sirius was sitting on the stairs to the second floor, his head in his hands; it popped up when he heard us. I quietly slipped into the lounge and closed the door.
Anwen POV:
He looked so small and defeated sitting there. I didn't want to ruin his holiday. Why the hell can't you just put away what you know, and bring it out on some damn Tuesday that doesn't mean anything to anyone? I walked over to him and sat down next to him.
"I'm sorry. I do like the broom, and it will be great to have it while I am out on duty," I told him, taking his hand in mine.
"I'm sorry too. We should have told you a long time ago that we had helped pay for your last broom. I shouldn't have thrown it in your face. But, my love, I know that there is something else wrong. You're not yourself. What's bothering you? Please tell me," he looked at me, so desperately wanting me to be happy.
"I will, but not today. Come on, lets go eat with our family, and I can apologize for being so wonky today," I said standing up and offering him my hands to lift him up. He took hold of them, but instead of me pulling him up, he pulled me down to him, wrapping his arms around me.
"Love, promise me something." I looked at him and nodded. "Promise me that you will never, ever forget that I love you more than life itself; and that the only thing I desire in life is you, and to make you happy." He was so earnest that it brought tears to my eyes. I started to cry and I held him to me.
"I promise, I promise. I love you so much. I'm so sorry." He pulled me to him tightly and cradled me into his body, and for the first time in days, I felt at ease.