A/N: Thanks to all who have reviewed, I really appreciate it. I really value every thought that you have, so don't hesitate to put down any reaction you have to this; constructive criticism is much appreciated. Thanks again!

Chapter 4

(continuation of last scene in Chapter 3)

"Let me go back…" she whimpered, her breath coming out in a ragged whisper, the powerful sobs shaking her shoulders. She collapsed onto the floor in a heap, drawing breaths in uneven, gasping gulps and fighting the blackness that was closing in, tightening around her chest. She pulled her knees to her torso and rocked, her arms wrapped around herself in a vice grip as if trying to hold herself together. "Aslan, please, just let me see him…Aslan…"

She couldn't breathe it was closing in tighter tighter need him my prince need to see him falling apart Caspian falling falli—

Dark.

The rain fell harder, the individual droplets drumming on his soaked skin. Lightning flashed, whitewashing the sky, and thunder echoed soon after, its deep, sonorous rumble shaking the earth. Wind, not to be outdone, howled wildly, changing the direction of the raindrops with every gust and wailing through the forest like a lost ghost. The man sitting underneath the tree looked heavenward, trying to find the steadily disappearing stars. The cold seeped through him, running in his veins like ice, freezing his insides, and he let it. Maybe it would dull the pain.

He closed his eyes.

He had just remembered it all. He'd seen the days run before him as if they were right before his eyes. Those glorious days when he'd catch a glimpse of her now and then, talking with her brothers and sisters, or even sneaking a glance at him. And then she'd blush, that rosy tinge spreading on her cheek, looking away too quickly for him to smile back. It all had come back. He thought this would help, he thought he would find peace in acceptance. That he would go on, stronger than before and able to rule Narnia without the pain of the past clouding his judgment.

So foolish.

The pain that was dulled by denial before rose up like a hungry flame, eating away at the memories he had just brought back. It blazed like a monster now, destroying any shred of composure he had. All that was left now was a hideous, all-consuming longing. It added to the cold inside him, a fire that burned like ice. It gripped onto his heart and squeezed the warmth from it, every drop draining him. He thought he had helped himself, but all he had done was drive the blade deeper.

He didn't think it was possible to still have tears left, but there they were, defiantly rolling down his rain-soaked skin. They mixed with the frigid raindrops and lost their heat. Everything was so cold.

So very, very cold.

A light?

What started as a pinprick in all the darkness steadily grew brighter and brighter. It ripped through Caspian lifted his hands to block the brightness. He couldn't see anything, and even when he closed his eyes, the radiance blinded him. He tried to back away but found the firm trunk of the tree against his back. Trapped.

The light grew stronger still and Caspian could just barely make out a bleary shape emerging through the light. Still, he tried to run away but it was as if his body was sucked dry of strength; he didn't even have the strength to lift himself up. His terror grew as the shape took on form and definition. It grew larger and larger…

Gold. A beautiful, liquid, warm gold.

The rain stopped.

Caspian's strength came back in a rush and he fell on his knees, frame shaking in awe. He'd been too weak, too inadequate, not fit to be Narnia's king. And it was all over now; he was coming to take it back. He suddenly wondered if it would hurt terribly if large, powerful teeth ripped you to pieces? Suddenly, he felt a sweet, warm breath run across him and all the tension and worry disappeared.

"Rise, my Son," came the deep voice.

And Caspian finally looked into the eyes of Aslan.

There was a flood of emotions. Awe, terror, love, humility, comfort, but most of all, calm. His heart that had been frozen started to melt, and slowly the blood in his veins became hot and living again. Those great golden eyes seemed to see through him as if he was a piece of thin glass, but they didn't judge. They carried a love in their molten depths that shook Caspian and seemed to offer an understanding that he that would undeserved. The great lion shook his mane, and suddenly, the darkness didn't seem so dark anymore.

"When Aslan shakes his mane, there will be spring again," mused Caspian to himself and the air seemed to clear, sweet smell permeating the clearing.

"And do you believe that, Son of Adam?"

Caspian dropped his gaze in shame, tears pricking at his eyes. "I'm sorry Aslan, I haven't ruled Narnia well; I've been distracted and I've let you down. I am not fit to sit on the throne."

"My dear Caspian, I have not come to berate you, nor have I come to take your crown. I have given it to you, therefore it is rightfully yours."

"They why—"

"The Queen is in peril, your Majesty."

Caspian froze. A thousand images flashed in front of his eyes: Susan with a blade held forced at her pale throat, Susan surrounded in a dark room with no way out, Susan on the ground with a pool of blood forming around her unmoving body, Susan tripping and falling to the bottom of the stairs, her neck bent at an unnatural angle…

Reflexively, his hand immediately flew to the hilt of his sword, all the while his breath growing shallower. A cold sweat broke over his skin and he felt his pulse begin to race in pure, unadulterated terror. If anything happened to her, anything at all….

"What happened? Is she safe?"

"Do not panic, your Majesty; Queen Susan is not in any immediate danger. But there is a decision that you must make. She has already made her's." At the Lion's apparent calm, Caspian's heartbeat began to slow.

"I'm afraid I don't understand. What decision? What happened to Sus…the Queen?"

"She has lost hope. She's pulled back so far into herself that all that is left is a shell. She cannot hold on to even that shell for much longer, because there's someone in Narnia she can't let go of and it is that knowledge that causes her the most pain."

Caspian's throat closed as conflicted thoughts clashed inside him. He felt dread, knowing that whatever danger she was in was because of him. But there was also a muted sense of joy; she hadn't forgotten him.

"Why can't she…let go?" asked Caspian with some difficulty, praying and hoping for an answer he know he would regret.

"A love is very hard to forget."

So that was it, then. He was the reason Susan was in agony, the reason that she had lost hope in herself.

He loathed himself.

Because he knew the pain that Susan was experiencing was the same torture that he was going through now: heartbreak, and the terrible, aching longing that followed. It was the kind of torment that ate you from the inside out, destroyed you, consumed you. He could only imagine that it was the same for her...Susan, sweet, beautiful, gentle Susan...Caspian wanted to rip his heart out.

"She has made a request, your Majesty."

"A request?"

"She wishes to come back again."

He didn't let himself hope, he didn't let himself believe, because it would be too painful when it all shattered.

"…You said that the High King and Queen were never returning to Narnia…you told us, Aslan."

"Yes, I did. But it is clear that you cannot forget her, either. And under those circumstances, your ruling Narnia would put it into chaos. So I've come to give you a decision, your Majesty."

"A decision?"

"Yes, but more a choice. I can make both you and Susan forget the other's memories of the other, so that it will be as if you had never met. Or, I can give you both one more day together, fulfilling Susan Pevensie's wish. Choose wisely, my King, for your decision will be affecting not only yourself but Queen Susan as well. "

One more day together…Caspian's mind raced. Forgetting would be painless, it would be easy. Both of them would be happy and they would be free to go on with their lives without anything holding them back. But Caspian couldn't bring himself to forget her. He'd finally found her, the person that he felt whole with, a person that even the mere mention of their name could make his heart skip a beat. To forget love seemed like the most terrible of sins to Caspian; it was too precious, too rare, too beautiful a thing to just throw away. And if it caused him infinite pain, infinite agony, infinite heartbreak, he would endure it. He would ask Aslan to spare Susan of the hurt and direct it towards him; he would take it all. It was well worth it, if just for another moment, another touch. If just for another smile.

"One more day with her, Aslan. I choose one more day."

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