This chapter is from Christian's P.O.V., as requested by some of you ;-). Christian is at the unit, feeling pretty angry and disappointed, especially with Syed. Cue Syed. You all know what happens next ;-)

~c~s~

The loud clunks and clangs the stainless steel trays make as I stack them with unnecessary force, are oddly satisfying. Especially as I'm envisioning taking turns thumping them on the heads of first Bushra and then Zainab. Just for good measure, I slam the last of the trays with some extra zeal.

I hate them for making me feel this way. I hate myself for allowing them to make me feel this way. I don't know why, but their words, their looks, their actions, stirred something deep inside me. Something I thought resolved a long time ago. For an instant, I felt like a teenager again. Coming out for the first time. Steeling myself for the looks, the whispers, the silence. The rejection. People I considered to be my friends, turning their backs on me. People who were supposed to love me unconditionally, looking at me with disgust.

Luckily, not everyone was like that. There were plenty of people around me who actually did support me, love me, understood me and protected me. Friendships becoming stronger, family ties closer. Without them, I would not have survived. But they couldn't completely wash away the feeling of loneliness, abandonment, loss that I experienced. It took me a long time to get over that. And tonight, I discovered a small part of me that still hasn't.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. It's not like I don't know homosexuality is still taboo for most religious people. It just never stops astonishing me, why people would care. People that have met me, talked to me, liked me, laughed with me, suddenly changing their mind about me because I like men. Why do they care? It has nothing to do with them. It won't affect them in any way. It shouldn't make a difference. But it does. The unfairness of it all bothers me much more than I'd like. I like to think I'm above things like that. Out and proud, and fuck all if you don't like it. That's about you, it has nothing to do with me. That's how I feel most of the time. Unfortunately, now is not one of those times.

As much as Bushra's and Zainab's attitudes have riled me, it's Syed that is haunting my thoughts. His rejection hurting more than anything those other two could have said or done. We've grown into this easy, comfortable, warm kind of friendship of late which I really enjoyed. I thought we understood each other. Liked, respected and cared about each other. I guess I was wrong. And that bothers me. It bothers me a lot.

Syed. Something has changed between us. Something shifted. I can't put my finger on it, but something is definitely going on. I saw it clearly in his eyes today. I felt it in the pit of my stomach. I feel like it should be obvious to me, like it's staring me in the face, but every time I try to look at it more closely, it just slips away.

I'm no longer sure why I had to know how he felt about me. It seemed so important at the time. It still does. I had to have an answer, forced him to answer me, but when he did, I couldn't handle it. His words hurt me, affected me in a way that scares me. He was trying to stall me, why didn't I let him? Why did I have to force it and ruin the easy bond that was forming between us? I should have let it rest. But I have never been a patient man. That has cost me before.

I heave a resigned sigh. Enough now. It's done, nothing I can do to change that. I square my jaw and get back to clearing away the clean dishes. I'm focusing on my motions, distracting myself with making them sharp and decisive. I'm nearly done when I hear someone open the front door and come in. Although I can't see him yet, I know it is Syed. I always know when he comes in. I'm not sure how or why, I just do. I feel bubbles of anger rising up inside of me again. I decide to ignore the bubbles along with Syed, and keep my eyes on my busy hands. Out of the corner of my eyes, I watch him come in, hands in his pockets, shoulders slumped.

'Bushra's booked us for three more functions in July', he says like nothing has changed.

'Hmpf…'. The derisive sound has left my lips before I can bite it back.

'And with any luck, she'll start recommending us to her friends', he continues. Great. So we're going to pretend are we? I'm in no mood for this…

'Had some sort of bump to the head Syed? A couple of hours ago, you were all set for a public flogging'. I make no attempt to hide my hurt or my anger as I spit the words out at him.

'I'm sorry', he says quietly. I can tell my words are affecting him, but I'm not done yet.

'You can tell your mother, and her mates, that there is more to me than being some pumped up queen', I finish.

'You don't need to tell me that'. He's starting to get annoyed now.

'Don't I? So what was all that about?' I demand.

'You don't understand…' he tries, and takes a step in my direction.

'Damn right, I don't', I agree with him vehemently. But then I start to feel deflated and just want him to leave me alone already.

'Just go Syed'

'I can't'

'Why not?' My frustration builds and I just let the words pour out.

'Got what you wanted haven't you? Go on, go off, marry your little princess. Live happily ever after. I don't get you Syed. You make out like we're mates, and then you rip apart everything I stand for. What exactly is your problem eh?' I rant. Apparently he's had enough, for he turns to leave with a sigh. I won't let him though. We've come this far, and now we need to finish this, whatever this is. So I grab hold of his arm, turning him back to face me. Without giving him time to respond, I continue.

'Cause this isn't just about religion is it…'

And then it happens. I lock eyes with him, and I start to finally see the truth. All the pieces of the puzzle slowly click into place. The look in his eyes, that is not disgust. He wants me. He wants me, like I want him. Oh God yes, I want him. I want him with every fibre of my being.

As in slow motion, I watch while he parts his lips slightly and leans in. His beautiful eyes darting all over the place, like a hunted deer. Yes, so beautiful, I marvel. And then his lips touch mine and for the first time ever, everything makes sense. Just a gentle, searching kiss, but I can feel the power of it hum through my veins. He tilts his head forward, breaking our lips apart, for a moment resting his forehead against mine. Then he slowly takes a step back, keeping his eyes firmly on his feet. My hand is still on his arm, and he makes no move to free himself.

'Syed?' I ask gently. He stiffens, but other than that, makes no response. A rush of tenderness hits me like a wave while pondering the beautiful man in front of me. I want to share that feeling with him, so I cup the side of his face with my free hand, while I softly stroke the arm I'm still holding with my thumb.

'Syed?' I try again. 'Sy?', I breathe and then he looks up.

There it is again. That connection, both fragile and strong. How could I have been so blind? All the looks he gave me, the way his touches stirred something deep inside me, the need to see him, talk to him, make him laugh? It is so obvious now that I have finally admitted it to myself. And even though I've only just realised what and who it is that I want, I feel that I can wait not a moment longer. Uncertainly, I search his face. He is looking at me with a mixture of feelings. I see longing and impatience, fear, excitement and an urgent question. He is silently pleading with me to do something. And now that I am no longer blind, I know exactly what it is he wants me to do. So I stroke his cheek, and move my hand to hook behind his neck and pull him into me for a demanding kiss. A shudder rocks his entire body, before he melts into my embrace. I wrap my arms around him protectively and plunder his mouth with my tongue, encouraged by the soft cries and moans escaping his lips. There is no hesitation, no doubt. I can't remember anything ever feeling more right than this.

~c~s~

I apologize for leaving you like this. I might be persuaded to update soon, if you leave me a review *bats eyelashes innocently*