"Do you wanna talk about it?" Daiyu asked.
"No. Just make everything go away," Lily replied. She lay on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. "I just need to be alone right now."
Daiyu nodded and left.
The ceiling was spinning. The soft lavenders and purplish blues started to twist and serpentine into patterns and shapes indiscernible to any sane person. She felt nauseous and turned to her side as she watched the room start to twist and morph into fragments and swirls.
If only Harry was more like a brother than a soundless enemy. If only he were her savior instead of the obstacle. She needed someone in her life to be there for her and care about her. Someone she had known since birth and shared blood with her.
It couldn't be Matt, he shared only a drop. It certainly wasn't her sister or mother, who hated her with their lives and cursed the day she was born. Harry seemed to care for her as much as his owl and that flew away when he was in his second year of Hogwarts. She thought that had left her father, but in reality there was no one.
Finally when the room stopped spinning quite so much she went back downstairs. She smiled at James as he silently asked if she was okay and looked around very confused as to where everyone went. They should be downstairs still.
"James, where are Matt and Chang? And Daiyu--what about Sirius and Remus?" she asked him, sitting down next to him on the couch. "Shouldn't they be here?"
"No," he replied, laughing. "It's one in the morning. They went over to my house to annoy the hell out of my parents for awhile. I opted to stay back to make sure you were okay. I got some dirt on you for the trouble, too," he said, smiling as he held up a photo album. "Who knew you were a cute baby?"
"Cute babies make for cute adults," she retorted as she sat down next to him.
"Yes, but I was looking for a beautiful baby, because you're a beautiful adult."
She blushed and took the album away from him. She smiled and stroked it. "My First Album," she read. "This was something my sister bought me for my third birthday. She was six, and she was so proud. I didn't have the heart to tell her I had already had a few albums already."
He laughed and she opened it, smiling at the picture of her family. It was professionally done, her, Petunia and Harry. They looked happy, but no one knew they actually had to be bribed into taking the picture. Lily wasn't even sure if the photographer knew.
"This looks like Harry Evans," he said, pointing to Lily's brother.
She laughed. "It is Harry Evans. That's my older brother, the one that only showed up for a few minutes. You have no idea how confusing living with a Harry and Larry was." She laughed and flipped the page. "This was me and Harry at my fifth birthday. He was the best brother ever back then."
James looked at her and saw her sad expression. "He's not anymore? What happened?"
She shook her head. "We grew up. Harry was a lot older than me, and he has to work all the time. Kids can't always expect their heroes to stick around, right?"
"Right…I guess," he replied, confused. Heroes were always supposed to stick around. It was their job to make things better! "So, he was your role model?" he asked.
Lily shrugged. "For a long while, yeah. Then when I was…six?…I had to move to New York to go to this school, Julliard? And suddenly I didn't have time for a role model, I was mocked for having my brother as a role model…I stayed there until I was ten, and then I came home--I couldn't take it.
"By the time I came home, Harry had gotten into the habit of getting arse over tits, and I didn't like it. As we got older, it got worse, and Matt became my role model because he would never drink in public or drink too much in private. He was never forced to be the designated driver, he offered. Not the normal kid, I tell you."
"He sounds great," James complimented.
"Only on paper," she replied. "Everyone has a flaw. His is that he enjoys sex with Japanese girls, to the point he'll hired prostitutes and keep them in the house for a night. I used to sleep over his house all the time. And he likes it kinky. I thought I'd be scarred for life, but he's been getting better about it."
James's jaw dropped. "You caught him with girls? Did he ever make you…you know…"
"Right," she replied, slowly and sarcastically. "That'd be the day he lost his dick. Do you know it only takes two minutes for a man to die if he's castrated? Because so much blood runs down there. I think I'd take less time if he had a boner at the time."
"What?" he yelled.
"It's not that big a deal. Honestly, Matt does Japanese girls because he's been hot for Chang's little sister since…third year…and he can't shag a Chinese girl without thinking of her. Japanese are close, and the average size for a Japanese man's dick is--"
Suddenly Matt Apparated and clamped a hand over her mouth. "Let's not finish this little conversation, okay Lily?" he asked. Suddenly he yelled and tossed his hand away from her mouth. "You licked me!"
"Your hand was over my mouth. What was I supposed to do? Bite you? I'm a little more mature than that," she retorted.
"Oh, so much more mature," he muttered, wiping it off on his shirt. Then he smiled when he saw the album. "Aw, Tiny Tune's album! I love that album! Do you still have the picture of when I was dunking you head first into a giant aquarium in Disney World?"
"Yep. And I still remember the spell to make a shark appear and eat you. Do you want to piss me off?" she asked.
"Hey! Who took you to the doctor's yesterday? Hmm? I'd be a little nicer if I were you! I have your best interest in mind…Oh look. That was the day Harry and I went to New York to see you."
The two were almost comical as they bickered, and James got the impression that they were in fact as close as siblings. They knew every little detail about each other and were upfront and open.
Suddenly James found himself pressed under Lily's weight and she squealed as Matt pinned her on him. "Admit that Harry sucks," he said.
"If he sucked, no one would listen to him. Record-sales says otherwise," she replied, surprising him with a forceful toss that had him sprawling on the carpet. She rolled off the couch and smiled as she did a cheer. "I won, I won. I told you I was right."
He groaned. "Yeah, yeah. So Harry's got some pipes on him. But you're a better singer anyways! James, tell Lily she's a better singer."
"You're a better singer," he replied, looking at a picture. "Lily, do you know where this picture's from?" he asked, shocked.
She looked at it and gasped. "No way," she breathed. "We were little. Your family came over for New Year's Eve. I was so happy to see your father after Christmas. I just figured out this puzzle he gave me."
James snorted. "So you confused me with my dad? No offense, Lily, but there's no way you thought I was my father."
At that, she kept her tongue in her head. She didn't need James to know that the answer was arranged marriage. Lily and James were meant to be married at the age of twenty. It wasn't something she ever planned to tell him, in hopes he forgot.
James smiled at the sight of them kissing, and looked up in the corner to see they had been standing under mistletoe. "Oh, no wonder why," he said, sighing. "Aren't you supposed to take mistletoe down after Christmas?"
Lily shrugged. "Not sure. It was the first and last year we used it. Harry's girlfriend was horny, and she took snog under mistletoe to mean shag under mistletoe. I don't think they will ever forgive Harry or bringing her home."
James looked at her in shock. When she shrugged, he looked at Matt as he picked food out of his teeth. Matt caught his gaze and nodded. "Julie was a freak! Harry might've even tapped that if he wasn't eleven! She only saw him that one holiday break."
"That's scary," James commented, turning the page as Lily laughed. "What?"
"That's exactly what you said when you saw Julie trying to devour my brother. She was so pissed she stopped and left. You were my parents' hero that night."
James smiled and looked at a few ordinary photos. Lily at the beach, Lily with her siblings, Lily in the park, Lily with her brother--who looked strangely like Harry Evans, Lily in a moving picture in new York--
Hold up.
"When were you in New York?" James asked.
"When I was six for performing arts. I was given a scholarship to go to a school there and become refined in the arts," she replied, tucking a hair behind her chin. "I told you that already."
Matt blew a raspberry. "This girl's being modest. The school doesn't have a single child under the age of seventeen in the college programs and Lily belts her way in there. She's got an amazing voice. And she was such an adorable ballerina."
She laughed and shook her head. "Plies, pirouettes, arabesques. Our recital I barely touched the ground. I hated ballet so much. The next year I requested a contemporary dance class. The year after I dropped out of the dancing programs at Julliard because they had no contemporary class."
"How do you have a moving picture?" he asked. "I thought you were a muggle."
"Didn't I hear you talking to my dad about this?" she asked. "My parent's are both squibs. I'm a pureblood, but…it's one of those weird things in life."
James smiled and Lily smiled back. He yawned and put the book away. "That's actually really cool. I mean it. I just have to sleep."
She shrugged and got up with him. "Do you want to stay over? I mean, it's not a really long walk, but everyone's over your house, so it'll be loud and really hard to sleep in, and everyone'll be screaming and--"
James laughed and she stopped rambling. "If you want me to stay and keep you company, I can. You just have to say it."
Matt made a funny face, but Lily didn't noticed as she blushed and asked him to stay. Then Matt spoke up. "Wasn't that the plan, though? You would stay here until tomorrow, this morning I guess, and just watch over Lily while I went to get the presents? I'm so confused. When did the plan change?"
Lily laughed as James slapped his head. "It sounded romantic," James muttered from behind his hand. "It was still my plan."
She got up and took James's hand, leading him to her room and her king-sized bed. She blushed when he looked at her, questioningly. "I just moved today. Well, my brother and I, but he hasn't been here at all. I don't have any other rooms set up yet and it seems rude to have a guest sleep on the couch. Especially after you've been so nice to me."
"Anytime," he told her as he kissed her cheek and flopped onto the bed.
Lily blushed a deeper scarlet, then went to change into her pajamas. She debated whether she should change into her flannels, silk sleep pants, or even a nightie. It wasn't that she didn't want James's affection, it was just she didn't do casual and that was what he wanted, she was sure. So would it torture him to see her in a nightie? Would he be repelled if she were in her warm pajamas?
"Oh my God," James told her as she came out in her flannel pajamas with stars all over them. "You look…"
She was ready for an insult, but was shocked when he suddenly said "so sexy in those pajamas. How do you manage to look sexy in everything?"
She laughed. "Good night, James."
"I'm serious, though," he told her, earnestly. "You're so sexy and you never notice it."
"James, it's two in the morning, I'm tired and I just want to sleep. Can we discuss this later or something?"
He shrugged and looked at her, about to say something else before he noticed she was already fast asleep, a smile on her face.
He laughed softly and started doze off himself. But just as he was falling fast asleep, he smelt smoke and shot up, looking around.
Matt sprinted into the room, slamming the door behind him. "There's a fire," he told James. "Someone set the house on fire. Lily, Lily!" he yelled, shaking her, trying to wake her up. "I'll give you a Mandarin Backhand if you don't wake up right now! Lily! There's a fire!"
She bolted up, panicked and looking at her door immediately. "Matt, my photo albums," she told him desperately. "I can't leave them."
"Lils, it's either you or the albums," he told her, picking her up and hauling her over his shoulder as he cast a spell for stairs to appear outside her window. "Everyone's already fighting the flames. There might be a few left."
James went down first and Matt came down after him with a crying and frantic Lily beating to be let down and go back into the house to get her photo albums. He ignored her and showed her the house, how inflamed it was and why it would be bad for her to go back in. Over the house was a sight neither she or James ever wished to see in person, something the band had been subjected to since becoming famous.
Voldemort's mark.
Lily screamed and sunk to the ground, sobbing as a new batch of tears poured out for the sheer fear the sign made her feel. Despite the warmth of the fire, she suddenly felt cold and alone and afraid for her whole family.
On her front door was the source of the fire, flaming napalm arranged to read "Mudblood whores go home! This is a wizarding community!"
James gaped at the words, not knowing what to do or what to say. He only put a hand on her shoulder and stood there, hoping she would realize he was trying to comfort her. James felt her stiffen up and take out her wand, then yell a spell at the house.
Water suddenly poured down on the house as if a bucket dropped right over it. The flames died immediately and in the place of the hateful words were daisies spelling out "Bring it on. I am not afraid."
Before anyone could stop Lily, she sprinted into the house and looked for her photo albums, coming out with My First Album and three others intact, while two were burnt at the edges and anther blackened and ruined. Her face was stoic and resolute, and she only admitted that she was okay with the ones she saved, though she wished she saved them all.
"What a shame we all became such fragile broken things," she said to Matt, crumbling the photo album with tears in her eyes.
He pursed his lips together to keep from crying with her. "A memory remains just a tiny spark."
Not able to take it anymore, Lily launched herself into Matt and started sobbing. Daiyu ran over to her and hugged the both of them, crying with them. Chang and Ritter stayed back in the distance where they were, amazed at the spell Lily cast and her courage to keep moving on. Sirius and Remus tried to comfort Lily with their words, though Peter had seemed to disappear.
James came over and held her hand, and suddenly everything seemed to feel right again to Lily. She let go of Matt and hugged James, holding him tight and crying silently on his shoulder as he just stood there and stroked her back.
Once she was done she stepped back and let go, whispering "thank you" as she looked at the house and surveyed the damage.
James's father came running over and trying to comfort Lily, making her laugh and bringing up old memories. He asked her to stay over the house and promised it was protected by so many spells and charms nothing could hurt it. Once he got her to agree, he gave her space and gave her time to adjust to the shock of being targeted by Death Eaters.
"Uncle Harry, if it's all right to say, I'm not done," she told him. "It's not over yet, and I'm going to find the people that did this and destroy them."
He smiled softly. "I hope you do." Then he coughed and lost the sentimental tone in his voice. "Your father and brother already know and they're setting up precautions at their residence to keep your folks and Petunia safe."
"Good."
"Harry also wanted me to tell you , 'I told you so.' He told you what, dear?"
She looked down at the ground, depressed. "We had to keep moving houses or the Death Eaters would come after us. Because we look and act so much like muggles. They think we're mudbloods, and they want to get rid of us. Me especially, because no one ever explained that Harry and I are siblings, so no one knows my story."
Mr. Potter looked like he just swallowed a frog and Lily closed her eyes, praying the sign would be gone and it would all just be a nightmare. When she opened her eyes, it was still there and she squeezed them tighter together as she thought of what should send up in response, to get rid of the evil.
It was a white dragon, James realized. She sent it shooting up into space and he watched, amazed, as it circled around the mark and crushed it before sitting itself in a tight coil where the mark had been. He looked at her and caught her glaring at the mark and squeezing her wand.
"They'll pay," she whispered, spinning on her heel as she stormed off to James's house.
Sirius whistled and pointed at the dragon. "That, is serious and scary magic, mate. Your girlfriend's a really strong witch. Watch your back, mate. Watch your back."
James laughed nervously. "She's not my girlfriend, Sirius. I just want her to be."
Mr. Potter clapped James's back and laughed, walking away and leaving James and his friends confused. Then he turned around and counted. "James, son, where's that mousy one? Your awkward, tag-along friend? Lucas?"
James looked around. "Peter?" He was nowhere to be found and his brows furrowed in confusion. "Where is he? Wasn't he here the whole time?"
Sirius shook his head. "He was over at Lily's with you, wasn't he? He said he was. He never came over to your house with us."
James and Remus shrugged, and walked to James's house down the street. Lily was there sitting on the couch, talking to someone in the mirror with tears in her eyes. James made a fist and got ready to punch something. He wanted to kill the person that reduced Lily Evans to tears.
"Okay. I love you guys, too," Lily said. "Keep safe. I'll see you on Wednesday."
Wednesday? James thought about what Wednesday was and realized it was the Marauders concert. He was going to meet Harry in four days, if he and Lily made it that long. He couldn't believe anyone, even Voldemort, would want to kill his Lily flower in a hundred years.
"Are you excited?" Daiyu asked, helping Lily get ready for the Marauders concert on Wednesday.
"Oh, sure, I only had to stay hidden indoors and keep away from all human contact for the past two days," Lily replied, annoyed and sarcastic.
She had been in lockdown since the attempt on her life on Monday, where someone tried to tie a bag over her head and toss her in the lake behind the Bagshots. Then there was the attempt the day before when she was swarmed by zombies, but were really only an illusion that almost made her kill herself and Matt when he tried to help her out of it.
Daiyu pursed her lips, then eventually shrugged. "So long as you're alive, I'm okay with the house arrest and the 'no magic' and all that crap. What would I do without you? Every time I tried prank the band would know it was me. You need to be around even if it's just to confuse them."
Lily laughed and tossed her titian hair over her shoulder. "That's true. So, what do you think?" she asked, spinning and almost tripping in her heels.
She was wearing black, strappy Italian heels with light blue jeans and a rip on her left knee. It was a beige tube top covered by a caramel suede jacket and an emerald green scarf-necklace that matched her eyes.
"Cute, but ah…You might be wearing too much for James's comfort," she told Lily, smirking. "You and he like to be really free in front of each other."
Lily screamed, laughing, as she went to hit Daiyu for the remarks. "Just because he keeps showing up when I'm only in a towel, or when I'm getting changed, and I always pop in on him when he's shirtless, or in boxers…" She had to pause for a minute to stop the drool from showing. James had a real hot body… "Doesn't mean he and I are like that."
"Of course, my Lily dear," Daiyu teased, flipping on the bed. "Lily dear, should we go downstairs to see the boys now?"
"Lily flower, you look amazing," James said, earning the laughter of Daiyu and Lily. "She does," he mumbled, embarrassed.
"Come on, Lily dear, we have a concert to attend," Daiyu teased as she linked arms with Lily and skipped down the stairs.
Sirius looked at them oddly, then nudged James. "Oi, why are they skipping? They realize they're full-grown adults, right? Skipping's for third years. And younger." His eyes bugged out and he looked at James with a serious look. "Do you think maybe they're crazy? And that's why Lily won't go out with you?"
James laughed and shook his head. "If she heard you, Lily flower'd say she would be insane if she did go out with me."
Remus coughed and walked by, eating a chocolate frog. Sirius and James watched him as he moved to Daiyu and Lily, waiting by the fire to greet Tonks. They looked around and couldn't find Peter. Lily and Daiyu became aware, but Remus said that Peter had wanted to spend sometime with his family, so he wasn't coming.
"Problem's solved…Tonks is here!" Lily replied, squealing and jumping up and down as her friend popped through the fire. They hugged and Lily introduced her to Daiyu. "This is Chang's fiancée. And baby-holder."
Tonks shook her head. "You should've waited until after the wedding."
Daiyu sighed. "I was planning to, but we were in the moment, and Chang was like, 'you'll never get pregnant.' Now here I am, pregnant before I'm married, and I hate life. Stupid Chang. I wanted to wait to have a baby."
"Hey, you can say that all you want, I can help you deal with it, but never say that in front of Chang. He'll be heartbroken that you don't want his kid," Lily warned, looking at James and Sirius. "You boys ready? We're going to floo over to my cousin Frank's and walk over from there."
"Longbottom, right? How far away does he live?" James asked, stepping into the green fire with Lily.
Lily shouted the address and waited to arrive at Frank's. When she stepped out of the fire, she was almost tackled by Alice back into it.
"Lily, Lily, look at the ring! He proposed. He proposed!" she sang, showing the expensive little thing off. Three carats, four hundred and fourteen galleons. It was a good thing Frank was rich. "Lily, we're going to be together forever. We're going to graduate and have a family and watch them go to Hogwarts and grow up and be just as happy as Frank and I are right now."
Lily laughed and Frank came out to hug her and kiss Alice silent. He greeted James, then Sirius and Daiyu and Remus and Tonks, the last pair to arrive. Alice, in turn, showed it to each of the girls as the men congratulated Frank.
Lily smiled, but inside she didn't understand why the two would be so excited. They had been dating since they started at Hogwarts, never had another relationship. How did they know they loved each other unconditionally, and that it wasn't because they were afraid and wanted something familiar and comfortable as war was starting?
Tonks took a look at Lily's outfit and begged Lily to let her change it. Lily agreed and Tonks made her Apparate back to James's house and get her clothes, then made her and Daiyu and Alice go upstairs to find a better outfit.
After the men waited a few minutes, Lily came down with leggings, a denim miniskirt with high-top sneakers, a black tube top that didn't quite reach her belly button and a charcoal cardigan. She had a water in one hand and a large black canvas bag with a cross and chain on it. Lily pulled up her bug-eyed white and black sunglasses and looked at the boys with a questioning looked.
"Are you planning to start a mob or something?" Sirius asked, offending her. "You look like such a muggle. In a community filled with anti-muggles. You're crazy."
Lily glared at him and Remus slapped him. "She's a girl, mate. All a bloke has to say is 'you look beautiful Lily and everyone that says otherwise is jealous.' How hard is that, really? You and James have issues saying that to her every time."
James tried to protest, but gave up as Frank announced they were going to be late. They all got up and started to walk to the concert, laughing and joking as they went. Out of the corner of his eye, James watched Lily as she walked and caught every glance she took over her shoulder, every time she flinched because of a stray noise. He wished he could do something for her, but he couldn't. There was nothing.
At the concert, they were asked to show their IDs and the bodyguards all treated Lily with respect once they caught her name. Everyone buzzed around her and she soaked it in until Matt appeared.
Her face went from silently happy to glowering and mad. "No way! You're making me at Hogwarts, you never said anything about London! Jameson!"
"Lils, it's a concert. It's not like I'm asking you to make a porno," Harry Evans greeted, swigging a beer. "Besides, that's part of your contract, isn't it? Being at and singing in any available concerts?"
"Oh my God, it's Harry Evans!" Sirius yelled, hitting James. "How long have we idolized this man? James, we finally got to meet him again."
Lily rolled her eyes. "Harry, are you drunk?"
"I said I wouldn't spend vacation drunk, didn't I?" he asked, offended.
"But you also said you'd spend vacation with me, and that didn't happen," she pointed out and Harry shrugged. "Besides, isn't it in my contract that I need advanced warning of a concert in my area to become available? I mean, I'm here with friends."
"Mate, Lily flower's talking to Harry Evans. Harry Evans of the Marauders. Like he's her brother. How cool is that?" Sirius gushed.
Suddenly it all clicked for James. "So, wait. Your brother Harry Evans is the Harry Evans, Lily? And Jameson is Matt Jameson?"
She nodded, treating him like he was dumb. "I can't believe you didn't figure that out earlier," she told him. "Harry, this is James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. You've met them before…they're the new Marauders."
"Oh yeah," Harry said, dreamily. "Hey, what up?" He went to shake hands with the boys, a little tipsy and seeing two hands. "Which one of you's supposed to be marrying my sister in a few years?"
James laughed, almost scoffing. "Antiquated sense of matrimony. Who makes arranged marriages nowadays? Who agrees to them?"
Lily coughed and Daiyu almost choked to hold back her laughter. "You'd be surprised," Matt told him, pursing his lips to keep from laughing. "So, Lily, are you coming on or not? Because I don't think we're going to sing at Hogwarts if you don't sing now."
She glared at him. "You're an evil son of a bitch, Jameson. You know that?" she told him, mock-glaring. "First I have to sing at my Welcome Back party, I can't bring a date, I have to get along with…that," she said, looking at Harry with a glare he gladly returned, "and now I have to sing here?"
Harry smiled and nodded. "I'm glad you understand. Now hurry up and get in costume. Aaron has everything set-up and we checked out the sound and acoustics this morning, so we don't need a sound-check."
Lily sighed, resigned, and walked off into a cloud of people getting ready to fix her up.
James just looked at her and her expression. She was sad and bored and, he thought, a little betrayed. She stayed still as the makeup artists attacked her face and her hair got pulled into an intricate design and he felt her frustration. He looked at Harry and felt the same frustration as Lily.
And suddenly James wondered, how was this the man he idolized?