Doctor Arkham again tapped his fingers on his big oak desk as he waited for the guards to escort Edward Nigma to his office for his schedule therapy session. His desk had a note pad and the tape recorder was all set up so that when the session officially began, he didn't have to waste some of the session setting it up and testing it. On the other side of his desk was a chair that was designed to restrain any problem patient that came his way.
Yet again there was three knocks on the door.
"Come in." Dr Arkham watched as Cash and North sat Edward down on the chair across from him. He gave Edward a warm smile and pressed start on the tape recorder. "Tape Patient Interview Three, interviewing patient is Edward Nigma and I, Dr Jeremiah Arkham am presiding, so, how are you feeling today Edward?" He let the question hang in the air and took down some notes on how Edward looked.
Edward with a large smile on his face stared back at the doctor and replied. "I haven't felt better." Twiddling his thumbs in his lap, "I've seen the silver lining of this place and I intend on making the most of it. Sure I'm locked up in an asylum for the criminally insane, that doesn't mean I have to look at the negatives when there are so many positives opening up to me."
Dr Arkham could tell Edward wasn't lying about being in a good mood because it showed in his body language, but he didn't have bipolar, but he did suffer from mood swings and tantrums, like any child or childlike adult. Dr Arkham took note of Edward's rare good mood and continued.
"So, you think that you've seen something that is going to change your attitude or has the last week in isolation showed you that you don't need to cause problems? How would you put it Edward?" Dr Arkham was intrigued by Edward's change in attitude so quickly. Normally it was take months before he would start opening up, but he had done it in just under a week.
"I would put it Doctor, as that being in isolation has given me some clarity that I didn't have before I was brought back to the asylum." He smiled back at Dr Arkham. It was kind of frightening.
Dr Arkham made some more notes and decided to dig deeper into the reason why Edward was being so co operative so early on in his rehabilitation process.
"Ok, two weeks before you committed the bank robbery, you escaped from here. I would like to dig deeper into that." Dr Arkham had reviewed the tapes and Edward had just opened his cell and walked out during the late shift when there were less guards patrolling.
Edward sighed "I escaped from my cell." He paused and looked directly into Dr Arkham's eyes "Which I am sure you've reviewed the tapes over and over to see how I was able to solve the problem and escape. Well, after I escaped from my cell and left the grounds, I headed to one of my secret hideouts all over Gotham. I only grabbed a spare suit and continued to the hideout that I would be staying in until I robbed Gotham's First National Bank." Edward took a long pause and then took a deep breath. "Is there anything else you need to know Doc?" Edward looked down at the ground and eventually looked at Dr Arkham.
"How you were able to get out of your cell is something I'd like to know a bit more in detail. Can you do that Edward?"
"I didn't have to bribe anyone if that is what you're insinuating, I was able to 'manipulate' a few of the guards, which allowed me to walk around the grounds without anyone alerting Cash about me being out of my cell." He paused.
"MANIPULATED?"
"Oh yes Doctor, you've read my file before. How could you have forgotten that I, Edward Nigma, am a master of manipulation?"
Dr Arkham looked at him and stopped the recording.
"That will be all for today, Guards!"
Edward was taken back to his isolation cell and left in the dark. He took refuge on the mattress on the floor. He wasn't tired, but being locked in the dark and with not much else to do, he lay down and closed him eyes. He had no intention on falling asleep, he just thought of riddles and brainteasers to keep him occupied until dinner.
'The man who makes it doesn't want it, a man who wants it doesn't get it and a man who has it doesn't even know he's using it, what am I?' Oh how I used to love that riddle when I was younger, clearly the answer is a 'coffin'. Shame really, even though I'm in room, the size of this place makes it feel like a coffin. Edward sighed inwardly.
'I soar without wings, I see without eyes. I've travelled the universe to and fro. I've conquered the world, yet I've never been anywhere but home. Who am I?' another easy one, 'The human brain.' Well that's enough of the brainteasers, let's get started on how I'm going to get back at Batman.
A few days later during Edward's next therapy session, while Dr Arkham was thinking about how his progress Edward had made and that he hadn't told a single riddle since being brought back, he was startled when he heard.
"Care for a riddle Doctor? I promise it's a good one."
Dr Arkham let out a cough "I thought we had moved past the riddles Edward, you haven't told a single one since you were brought back. I don't really want to encourage this sort of behaviour."
Edward looked at the doctor confused. Since Edward had been brought back, in none of their four sessions had they discussed his compulsion to tell riddle and the truth, but it was clear when ever Edward talked about something, he told the truth, and he would never tell a lie.
"We haven't talked about my riddle compulsion since I was brought back doctor. Were you hoping since I didn't leave a riddle at the scene of the crime that I had made progress to breaking my compulsion? Actually, there was method to the madness; I didn't leave anything behind because that was the point. If I didn't leave a clue behind, Batman would find it harder to catch me. Not leaving a clue was a riddle in itself."
Dr Arkham sighed and wrote down on his note pad "still has compulsion to tell riddles and the truth". He then put down his pen and placed his hands on the desk. He wasn't going to write down the riddle Edward was going to ask him seeming he could get it off the tape later if he didn't answer it.
"Ok Edward, I'll humour you. Go ahead and tell me your riddle." He smiled at Edward hoping it wasn't going to be hard or have a disturbing undertone. But he was wrong.
"What is it that walks on four legs, then two legs and finally three legs?"
Dr Arkham sighed in relief, it was an old riddle, but it was one that he could answer.
"Easy Edward, the answer is simple. It's 'man', as a baby it crawls on all fours and as an adult it walks on two and in later years it uses a cane."
"Hmm, hmm, good try, but the answer to all three is a baby, true it crawls on all fours, but cut off its legs it can only wriggle on two limbs, give it a crutch it can hobble around on three you see?"
"How can you even joke about that?" Dr Arkham just looked at Edward with both disgust and horror.
"Easily Doctor, It's not my baby."
"GUARDS"
It would appear that Dr Arkham didn't enjoy my little riddle. Sure it was a little on the "disgusting" side and might have been something that Joker would make a gag about, but I spend ages planning that one. I was sure it would get something out of him. I'm sure that since I did tell him a riddle he thinks that I've reverted to type, but in truth, I never left.
I, the Riddler am better than you Dr Arkham. You believed that I had changed, but you couldn't be further from the truth.
Edward started laughing and laughing hard. His deep laughter echoed in the tiny cell. It was loud enough that it even woke up Joker, who had been asleep for a few days.
"Hey Eddie, let us in on the joke or keep it down, some of us are trying to get our beauty sleep." Clearly Joker was annoyed about been woken up by laugher of someone who wasn't dying from toxin.
Edward regained some composer. "Joker, you've been asleep for about two days. I don't know how much more sleep you could possibly get before you're diurnal cycle changed to sleeping for days at a time."
Joker yawned and yelled back, "Blah, blah Nigma, like I care. Two days? That's about average for a nice sleep. Still, you haven't told me the reason you were laughing. WHY?" he demanded.
"Oh you wouldn't believe me if I told you Joker."
"Oh, really, maybe we need to have a little meeting next time we have a shower. Who's on top?"
"Well I had 'therapy' today with Jerry and he really didn't appreciate the riddle I told him. He just doesn't have a sense of humour that man, always so straight about everything."
"Was it the mutilated baby joke?"
"How'd you guess Joker?"
"I'm a lucky kind of guy."
To be continued...