Chapter 4: My What?

Renesmee's POV

I couldn't think straight at all. I just couldn't, for the life of me comprehend what Carlisle had just said. Was this boy, the one who had treated me so cruelly, really my father?

I finally managed to look at Edward, who was just staring at Carlisle open-mouthed. He was clearly in as much shock as I was. How many times can a person be shocked in one night? It seemed like it would be never ending. First Carlisle Jr., and now me? What were the odds. Fate seemed to be playing tricks on all of us.

"What do you mean that she is mine and Bella's daughter?" Edward finally managed to ask.

Carlisle sighed before beginning his story. "Earlier when we were talking I asked her questions about her past. She said that she was born in Forks, Washington 20 years ago. Her mother's name was Bella Swan. Then she just happens to look so much like her and you. That's just to much of a coincidence, I'm sure that she is your daughter" Carlisle said.

Edward then turned towards me. He looked at me as if he were truly seeing me for the first time.

"Where is your mom? Is she with you?" he asked. Oh god, he doesn't know.

Immediately memories of my birth and her death flooded through my mind. I had always tried my hardest to suppress the memories, and usually I was very good at it. But now, it seemed like whatever wall that had been blocking the memories was now broken. I couldn't stop myself from remembering.

As I looked into Ed- I mean my father's eyes I saw anger, anger that had not present before. I didn't think it was possible for him to be anymore upset than he already was, but boy was I wrong.

"You killed her! What the hell kind of monster are you?! What kind of a person kills their own mother!" he screamed.

My whole body was starting to shake. I could feel the tears beginning to form behind my eyes and I knew that soon the would begin to fall.

"Edward stop this right now!" the caramel haired woman shouted.

"No Esme, that thing killed my Bella! It is a menace an abomination that should never have existed, it killed it's own mother!" he shouted.

I made the mistake of moving towards him. "Don't ever come near me!" he screamed. He left, he ran before anyone could say another word.

"Edward!" I heard several people scream. Almost everyone from his family ran after him. Only Carlisle and the rest of the hybrids stayed behind.

As for me, I felt numb. My own father had rejected me. My own father had called me a murderer. I already knew that it was my fault that my mother was dead. Not a day goes by where I don't think about my mother. If I would have never been conceived than my mom would still be alive right now. But still, to have your own father confirm it was just painful.

By now the tears had begun spilling out.

"Ness-"Carlisle had started to say, but I stopped him.

"Please don't say anything. He's right, he's only confirming what I already knew was true" I said.

"Nessie, how can you say that? You are not a killer. The same thing happened with all of our births, we couldn't control it" Jennifer said.

I looked at my friend. It was true, we were all born the same way. We all had the same value for human life. None of them were monsters. So why did I feel like I was one? Maybe I'm just different, or maybe it's because I have a clearer memory of my mother than the rest of them do.

"I'm going to sleep" I announced. "Is there any guest rooms I can sleep in?" I asked.

"Of course Nessie, they are all on the second floor. There is enough rooms for all of you actually. Take whichever one's you want" Carlisle said.

Carlisle walked us upstairs and showed us all of the different rooms. Throughout the whole process I could tell that his mind was a million miles away. I was sure that he was thinking about my father.

"I'm going to go after them. I need to talk some sense into my son" Carlisle said.

"Okay" I said. I rubbed my eyes as I realized just how sleepy and tired I really was. Today had been a very long day. I changed into some of the pajamas that he'd given me once everyone had left.

I had a hard time falling asleep. I had started crying once the lights were out. I had always hoped that when and if I had ever met my father, that he would be a loving and caring man. Much the same way that I was sure my mom would have been. It hurt me, no it killed me for him to think of me as some murderous creature.

I heard the door creak open slightly. I turned to see Carlisle Jr. standing in the doorway.

"Are you okay Nessie?" he asked. He sounded very worried.

"No, I'm not" I said.

He didn't hesitate to enter my room. He closed the door behind him and rushed over to my bed.

"Ness, I'm sorry. Your father shouldn't have said those things to you. He's a jerk" he said.

"But everything he said is true. I already knew that" I said.

"Nessie please move over and make some room for me. I think we are going to be talking for awhile" he said, suddenly serious now.

I didn't hesitate to move over and make room for him. My heart started to beat a little faster. This was the first time that we had ever shared a bed together.

"Nessie, I never want to hear you blame yourself for your mother's death again. It was not your fault. If you call yourself a monster than that would make the rest of us monsters as well" he said.

"What?!You are not a monster. None of you are" I said. I was horrified at the idea of him considering himself a monster.

"It happened to all of us Nessie. All of our mothers died as the result of our birth. We are all sad because of it. But overall we are good people; especially you. I have never met someone who is more kind, good, and pure than you are" he said firmly. It seemed like he was describing himself, not me. That's what I feel about him.

"I don't know about that" I said.

"Well I do" he said.

After that we just laid there for a long time. I couldn't tell if Carlisle and his family had gotten back yet. We both fell asleep too soon to figure out it out though.

When I woke up I realized that my head somehow ended up on Carlisle Jr.'s chest, and somehow I had an arm wrapped around his body, and he had an arm wrapped around me.

I looked around noticed that Carlisle and my father were standing in the hallway staring at us shocked and open mouthed.

"Oh my god!" I shouted in surprise. In my surprise I had accidentally scooted all the way back and hit my head on the headboard of the bed. Somehow I had hit Carlisle Jr. and woken up. He screamed in surprise and embarrassment when he noticed our guests. As we were both scrambling to get out of the bed I accidentally hit him in his, um, private area. "I am so sorry!" I shouted to Carlisle Jr. Now he was hopping up and down in pain. Great! This just keeps getting more and more awkward.

"I swear nothing happened!" I shouted a little too loudly. Then I realized that everyone else could hear our little circus going on up here. If possible things just get more awkward.

"It's okay Nessie" Carlisle managed to say a few minutes later. "Your father wants to talk to you alone. Once my son recovers we'll both head out and give you two some privacy" he said.

"Okay" I said.

Carlisle Jr. was still in a lot of pain. I must have hit the poor guy good. A few minutes they had both left, just leaving me and my father.

My father's whole demeanor had changed greatly since last night and I wondered what was on his mind. His eyes looked very sorrowful. He just looked sad, very sad.

He took a deep breath before coming over to me and hugging me tightly. "Renesmee, I'm really sorry for what I did last night. It was wrong of me to do that to you. I was just upset, and I lashed out. None of this is your fault. You are my daughter, and I love you. No words can express how sorry I am for what I did. Can you please give me a chance to make things right with you?" he looked hopeful.

I didn't know what to say.

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