Ch 3

Tali shifted in her seat. These weekly meetings had become a staple part of life on the Normandy during their stay on the citadel. In the time since the mission to the collector base, the combat missions had been replaced by politics, though many- herself included- didn't find this to be much of an improvement. The thought surprised her a little. She doubted she would have felt the same a few years ago. But that seemed like another lifetime now.

Needless to say, routine had become a much more essential part of life on the ship, and these meetings were a necessary part of that routine. John liked to get weekly updates from the team, and as she had already delivered her briefing for engineering, all that was left to do was to sit and listen. She turned her gaze back to the front of the conference room. John was in the middle of another discussion with Mordin concerning the scientist's research on the Reaper-tech they had salvaged on their missions. The salarian was brilliant, there was no question there, but he was also eccentric, and sometimes John had to make sure he was staying on task. Tali smiled slightly at the sight of the scientist describing his latest experiment. His passion for his work was admirable… and also humorous at times. She watched the Commander interact with his crew, and as she did so she found herself drifting back to the first time she met John… back in that other lifetime.

I have something to prove…

Gunfire ripped through the glass of the storefront as they darted inside, the Commander and his squadmate firing behind for cover as they moved. She had done the best she could to keep up, but the pace set by the human was fast, and as she collapsed onto floor against the shop counter, she had an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach that she wouldn't be able to get back on her feet again. She winced, clutching her side as a needling pain seemed to pierce all the way through her torso. She had done the best she could to treat the wound she had received during her flight from Saren's agents, and had thankfully managed to repair the rupture in her suit, but she was sure that the wound had reopened during the fight. Quarians were not particularly known for being fast healers.

None of this made any sense! Her meeting with Fist was supposed to be her way out. Instead, it turned out to be a trap. How could she have been so stupid! So naïve! If the human hadn't shown up when he did, she may never have made it out of that alley. How Shepard had even gotten involved in any of this to begin with was a mystery to her, not that she was complaining. The only information she had on the human was what she had glanced in the galactic news reports. Why would the first human Spectre be looking for evidence against another Spectre, especially one as renowned as Saren? Her mind was racing too fast for her to really address the question. "Fist, that bosh'tet!" she thought to herself, unable to move on from the recent betrayal, but the anger was soon eclipsed by the pain, and she drew her next few breaths through clenched teeth. Tali had always considered herself to be a strong person. She had always excelled at everything she did. She was smart, and capable, but right now, for the first time in her life… she felt weak.

The human tossed a grenade down the hallway toward their pursuers. The three of them had been able to dispatch the thugs in the alley without much trouble, but more of Fist's men had soon taken up the fight, and they were severely outnumbered. The human and his squadmate stood, obviously ready to take advantage of the cover offered by the explosives and keep moving, but Tali couldn't continue. She was exhausted, and she felt defeated. Even the slight expansion of her chest from drawing a breath was enough to ignite the pain in her side. She was afraid. Her head lowered for a fraction of a moment as she struggled to prop herself up against the counter behind her, and when she looked up again, her eyes were met by the steady gaze of the human Commander, kneeling in front of her. His dark brown eyes held hers in a stare that was calm, but deliberate.

"You've come farther than anyone expected. Farther probably than even you expected, but you are not done yet. A lesser person would already be dead, but this is an unforgiving universe. It demands the very best from us, and then it asks for more… The truth is, everyone in this room has something to prove…" he glanced briefly toward the tall form of his turian squadmate, firing through the shattered window down the hallway, before returning his gaze to the quarian.

"People like to think that they have it where it counts, that they can gut it out if they have to. People like to think those things, and yet few are the number who are ever really tested. Few are the number who experience true violence, who discover just exactly how far they can go, how much they can take. If you survive today, you can count yourself among that number." He placed a firm hand on her shoulder.

"Now is when you prove that you're not full of shit. That you're not one of those people who think they have strength, have grit, and then buckle when the test starts. Right now, you are either a hero or a hypocrite, because there is no middle ground. So prove it. Prove it to yourself- you are the person that you want to be." He extended her his arm, and she took it.

The memory still held mixed feelings for Tali. She remembered fondly the image of John in that moment, his strength and his resolve. She remembered the awe that she felt for him then, and even though they were so much closer now, and he was so much more real to her as a partner than he ever was as the untouchable Commander Shepard- the first human Spectre- still, those moments of awe had never completely gone. But at the same time, that memory was one of embarrassment. She was embarrassed that she needed to be rescued. That she was so taken in by one of Shepard's oh so famous speeches. She laughed to herself a bit at the thought. John and his speeches...

Even though it was only a few years that separated where she sat now from that moment on the citadel, fighting their way through the wards, with Fist's goons right on their heels, it felt like it had been so much longer. She was not Tali'Zorah nar Rayya anymore, she was Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, and that transformation was more than just a change in name. Still… John was right.

She did have something to prove. Maybe now more than ever.

She had something to prove to the galaxy- that her people were more than scavengers that wander through space. That they had something to contribute to the galaxy at large. That they were ready to fight for their lives, and for the lives of all the council nations.

She had something to prove to her people- that she was better than her father. Her father who had betrayed his people, who had endangered the lives of the entire fleet, even if it was with good intentions. Her father who had supported a war that could very well have wiped out the quarian race. Her father who had abandoned her…

She had something to prove to herself. That she was still the hero, and not the hypocrite.

She had something to prove, even to John. She knew that he would not approve if he heard her say that. He did not expect anything from her, or at least not anything more than for her to be who she is. She had strong feelings for him, and even though it was still a little bit unbelievable to her, she knew that he felt the same way. Even so, that did not change the truth. She did have something to prove to him…

John had been there for her, ever since she met him. He saved her from Fist's men on the Citadel. He saved her and her unit on Haestrom. He defended her at her trial. When her friends weren't there… when her father wasn't there… he was there.

Now she had to prove that she was there for him.

She lifted her gaze back toward the front of the room, only this time to find that John had already been looking at her. Their eyes met briefly, and he cocked a slight grin before returning to the briefing at hand.

I have something to prove…

It was a challenge that she was looking forward to.