HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER

Christian's POV

*heard you're going out with Ana

*Yeah

*Don't hurt her; she's been through a lot

*Fuck off Elliot

*She has a kid Christian, if you want her then you have to want her son, doesn't it bother you that she has a kid?

*FUCK. OFF

I throw my phone in the sofa as I make my way to the kitchen. I've lived here for a month now. My parents disapproved because of the size, but I like it. I can't cook though. I usually order take away or eat out, so my fridge is pretty empty. The kitchen is way too big for a guy who don't use it, but yeah, I can at least fill it with beers (ha-ha still laughing). The only time the kitchen is to use is when one of the subs cooks, which reminds me, I need to tell Leila not to come over anymore.

I've got some time before I have to leave; the diner is just down the street. I have dressed casually, because I wasn't sure how to dress, it's not a date and at the moment we don't really like each other, I think. I like her, but I also hate her, hate what she did.

30 minutes later I'm standing outside of the diner. I see Ana sitting there, and I get angry. She must have done that on purpose. She's sitting at the exact same place she sat that night. Why would she do something like that? With my anger still there I walk into the diner. She doesn't look up when I enter, but I see she tenses up.

''Christian,'' she greets me, she doesn't stand or anything just acknowledge me. ''I see the diner has changed.'' Are we going to talk about the weather next? I didn't come here to small talk; I came here to try making this right, at least try.

''Yeah, Geoff's son took over the diner 2 years ago, so the menus are new, and almost everything is new,'' I say before I ad ''except the seating.'' She doesn't look surprised by that comment, and I know she knew what this place means to me. This is where we officially said our goodbyes. She didn't leave the day after, but we didn't talk much after that night. When we saw each other at school we'd always turn the other way. She didn't help me to study on the last math test, not that I needed her help but it hurt.

We order our food, and wait for it in silence, and we start eating as soon as we get it. It's just really awkward, all of this. But I need to do this, we need to do this. We at least have to be civil for Teddy's sake. I know that we won't be a happy family the three of us together, but I want us to like each other at least.

''So…tell me about the past 4 years.'' I say. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for pushing them away, but I'm willing to try if she will let me. But no matter what, I will be a part of my sons' life. If she won't let, I will do everything I can, to get shared custody of Teddy.

''I got my…'' she starts, but I interrupt her. It wasn't really her I wanted to hear about. Well I'm wondering about that as well, but I mostly want to hear about Teddy. When she told me why she named him, and that it was after Gramps, I got this warm feeling in my chest. I haven't had that feeling for over 5 years.

''I'm sorry, I meant I wanted to know about Teddy.'' She looks disappointed for second but shakes it off.

''Oh, yeah of course… I stayed home with him from his birth to the day I left for college. My father was staying home with him until we felt he was old enough to start in daycare.'' She says, from the day of his birth? He must've been born early in the year, so what about school? Didn't she finish high school?

''So you're dad raised him, not you?'' she narrows her eyes at me. I guess that wasn't the smartest thing to say right now. Not when I'm trying to get her forgiveness. But Vancouver is far away from Montesano. She can't have seen Teddy much the last three years.

''I went home every weekend, that's 9 fucking hours each way by bus, but he's worth it. Teddy will always be worth it! My second year of college, he came to me one weekend every month. My father would drive him to me, go fishing or something, and pick him up Sunday. Are you trying to tell me that I abandon my son? I didn't want to go to college, but dad wouldn't hear anything of it, he offered to stay home with Teddy, and when Teddy started in daycare he went back to work. I tried to be there for my son, because I love him, and I wanted him from day one.'' Of course she loves him, I don't doubt that. I guess being a single teenage mother isn't easy either, I'm glad Ray was there for her. I don't mean to be rude, I'm just curious; it is my sons' life after all.

''That's unfair Ana.'' I bet she will always remind me of that day. But if she hadn't changed phone numbers, maybe this could all be avoided. Because I tried reaching out to her, first time a month after she left, then again on her birthday. And if she hadn't changed her number she could've told me she kept him.

''No it really isn't. I heard everything you said at the hospital, and yes I understand you were 16 and irresponsible and scared and blah, blah, blah, but what about me? I was also 16 years old, and I was alone. You know what? I almost lost him.'' She says.

''How the fuck could I know, you didn't let me. You could've written something with the sonogram, which I want back, you could've written, I'm keeping it or something. I wouldn't drag you the doctor, I would've tried being there for you, for him. You could've sent me another sonogram the next time you went to a doctor, and then I would've understood. Would I freak out? Probably, but I would've gotten over it.''

''That's easy for you to say now, but you wouldn't back then…'' she shakes her head, and it looks like she might cry. ''I was lying there giving birth for hours, alone. I couldn't have my dad there, it just felt wrong, and my mom hated the fact that I got pregnant. It had been hours and it hurt and nothing happened, then I had to have an emergency c-section or me and Teddy would've died. And where were you? Not with me, because you didn't want us.'' I wanted you! I want to scream at her, I still do. God this is fucked up, what if she died under labor. What if they both died, and I didn't know about it. What if only Ana died, would Ray know that I'm his father? Has she told anyone?

''I wanted you.'' I whisper back, because it's true. I had tried for months to get Ana to see that I liked her, but nothing worked. I lied about having trouble in math just to get close to her.

''I told you I loved you.'' She says sadder now, ''and you pushed me away.''

''You were living a fairytale back then, what did you want from me? Did you expect me to go down and one knee and we would live happily ever happy. King and queen and our little prince, it wouldn't work.''

''You pushed me away.'' She whispers again, and she's fighting her tears harder this time.

''I know, Ana look I'm sorry okay, and I don't expect Teddy to call me daddy anytime soon, but I want to be there for him… and you.''

''For how long?'' she ask, and I frown. How long? Does she think that I will get tired of being with them, that I will play father for a week, then do something else?

''What kind of question is that?''

''We don't live here Christian, what about when we go back to Montesano?'' I didn't think of that, I don't want her to move away. I can't lose them again. If I have to I can buy them a place.

''I really hope you will consider moving to Seattle, but if not I'll come visit as often as I can.'' I will take every weekend in Montesano if that is the only way to see them. I'm serious about this.

''I don't know Christian.'' She says, quietly.

''I made a mistake Ana, Teddy shouldn't be punished for my mistake.'' She can hate me as much as she likes, but don't take that out on Teddy.

''I'm not punishing him.'' She says defensively.

''You are, you are keeping him from his father.'' I'm getting tired of fighting over and over and over again, and it's only been a day.

''Yeah the father that didn't want him'' did she really have to go there? Will she always go there? Can we never get through this?

''That's enough, Anastasia. Stop. I know there's nothing I can do or say that will make up for that, but I'm trying. And you're pushing me away. If Teddy wants to push me away, if he wants nothing to do with me, then I will accept that, but let him choose.''

''Okay, let's say I say this is okay, and you can become a part of his life, what if you leave? What if he gets attached to you, and knows that you're his dad and then you disappear? I couldn't bare the disappointment from Teddy.''

''I can't promise anything, but I will try my fucking best, I'm going to do my part in this.'' I want to talk to my 16 year old self, and tell him it will be okay, that he can't lose them. I hate that I don't know how their life has been. And I don't know Teddy, period.

''Okay.'' She whispers, so low that I'm not sure if she said it, or if it was wishful thinking.

''Okay?'' She gives me a little smile, and nods.

''Come, let's say hi to your son, before he goes to bed.'' She says, and we leave. We have barely touched our food, but surprisingly I'm not hungry.

Ana show me where she has parked her car, and tells me she can give me a ride. When I see her car, I really don't have words.

''You can't be serious Ana.'' What kind of death machine is this?

''What, she's totally safe. The breaks are going out, but she's fine.'' The breaks are what?

''Ana! Are you driving Teddy in this thing?'' If she says yes, I might have to slap some sense in to her.

''I've had her for 3 years Christian, and nothing has happened. Plus she's my baby, I can't lose her.'' She says pouting as if she's afraid I'll take it from her, which I will.

''You can't lose your baby?'' she shakes her head. ''What about you're other baby, can you lose him?''

''Christian! Teddy is completely safe.'' I don't want to start another fight, but she will kill them both in this death trap.

''I'll drive, and tomorrow we're buying you another car.'' She gives me the keys, but tells me not to buy a new car to her. ''Fine we can buy a used one.''

''That's not what I meant Christian. I can't afford a new car, and I won't let you use your money on a car I don't need.'' A car she doesn't need? Unless she plans on using the bus, she needs a new car. But I don't argue about it, and get in the car. She tells me the way, and when we're outside I turn to her.

''I'm a millionaire Ana, I can buy you a new fucking car.'' I don't mean to sound like a dickhead, but I won't let her drive Teddy around in this.

She shakes her head, and finds the key to the building. When we're a few steps from the apartment door, we here someone scream bloody murder. We both run in, and see Kate and Elliot making out, and ignoring Teddy's cries.

''What the fuck!'' I yell at them. ''Can't you hear him?'' I yell as Ana makes her way to Teddy's room.

''Shit'' they both say at the same time.

''Just get out!'' I scream, and go to the room Ana went to. She is holding him, trying to comfort him. I stand awkwardly in the door way, not knowing what to do.

''It hurts mommy, it hurts!'' he sobs really loud.

I make my way to the bed and ask as sweetly as I can manage. ''Where does it hurt buddy?'' I ask and he point to his arm, the one in the cast. ''It will get better, just need to give it some time.''

''No'' he sobs ''I fell of my bed.'' He cries more.

''We know you did sweetie.'' Ana says. ''We were at the hospital, remember?'' He shakes his head violently, and it's freaking me out. It's like he's frustrated that we don't understand what he's saying. ''When you jump on your bed, then it's easy to fall.''

''No mommy, I didn't jump, I was playing with my train.'' At the floor the train lies and I ask him if he fell after he got out of the hospital. ''Yes'' Ana and I both look at each other, and I call my mom, to get her over here. Then I go out to see if Kate and Elliot are still here.

''Shit bro! Is he okay?'' Elliot asks, holding a protective arm around Kate's waist, as if I might try to hit them.

''He. Fell. Of. His. Fucking. BED!'' I hiss through greeted teeth. ''And you were sitting here making out.'' I give them my sternest stare, and they look away. ''Kate you were supposed to baby sit him. What if Ana and I haven't gotten here sooner, would you have noticed?'' They don't answer, still not looking at me. ''I will make sure that neither of you ever look after my son again.'' They both stare at me with huge eyes, and I realize what I said.

''Your son?'' Kate says in disbelieve. While Elliot asks ''are you serious.'' Elliot wasn't around the time Ana and I were together. I nod and go back to the room.

Teddy isn't crying as much as he did when we got in here, but he's still sobbing. After 10 minutes my mom arrives. She checks him out, and tells us everything is okay. And that he probably got shocked and scared. We told her what we knew, and that we weren't home. And when she left she made Elliot and Kate leave as well. If Kate wanted to make a good impression on our mother, she wasn't off to a good start. And the fact that Teddy is her grandson probably makes it worse.

When we talked earlier today, she told me she wouldn't tell anybody about Teddy being my son; she wanted me to tell them. So Dad and Mia don't know, and I really hope Kate and Elliot keeps their mouths shot. Kate obviously doesn't believe me, but I don't care.

I helped tucking Teddy into bed and I loved it. Ana and I sat and talked for a while. And we only talked we didn't fight and it was nice. When I left after we had talked for an hour she hugged me goodbye. It was just a friendly hug, but it meant much to me. I had to call for a cab home, since I drove Ana's car here. I have to work tomorrow, but she invited me for dinner, and I accepted. So I can't wait for tomorrow. I hope it goes better than today, and that I can get to know Teddy better.