Authors note: Disclaimer - I own nothing. Thanks to my two lovely Beta's, who have the best idea's. You should seriously check out sass-mistress-lucifer's stuff, it'll make you laugh. And possibly cry.
Nightwing had learned his lesson. Getting caught by Batman sitting down drinking coffee on the job was a no-go, especially if he wanted to keep his Batclan membership. Tim had been sending him coffee-related gifs all week. Unless the job was a stake out, he'd better not be caught again. He briefly debated whether Batman would check to see if he actually came back to this place or not, and decided that he would just have to sneak around better.
When his life wasn't on the line, Dick did like a challenge, and sneaking around Batman was about as hard as it got.
Leaping off the top of a nearby building, he jumped into the shadow of the doorway where his outline wouldn't be seen, and after checking for any overly suspicious Bats, he ducked into the shop. The black and blue vigilante (both in the suit and the bruises littering his skin) knew that time was of the essence, as he wouldn't put it past the Bat to put trackers on him like he used to when he was nine.
Quickly pacing to the opposite end of the shop, he nodded to the 3-In-The-Morning club, where everyone was assembled; from Collage Kid eternally typing away on her laptop to Lycra Girl's Fiance almost asleep in one of the plush booths lining the walls.
"Double espresso to go please." ordered Nightwing, not waiting for Shaun and Rebecca finish flirting. They knew what he wanted.
"Wha- Oh right." Shaun blurted out eloquently, Rebecca busying herself with both a mug and her phone.
Drumming his fingers of the side of the counter, Dick impatientlycounted the seconds down until he received his hot caffeinated cup full of heaven, becoming more agitated by the minute. This, however, didn't go unnoticed by Rebecca.
"So what's the rush?" she asked, elbows resting on the counter, "Because if you stopped for coffee in the middle of a riot or something, I think that's kind of irresponsible. And that's coming from me."
"I did not abandon a situation to go for coffee. I just want to get going." Nightwing told her, a little more harshly than was necessary. And can you blame him? He was at great risk of Batman bearing down on his ass for the second time in as many days, and if he got one more taunting message from the rest of the Clan he was going to scream. One man can only take so many dancing coffee cup gifs before snapping after all. Rebecca just happened to be on the wrong end of it.
Holding her hands up in the universal sign for surrender, Rebecca turned away from him with a slightly hurt expression as Shaun handed him his drink. Looking at him with a frown, Dick immediately regretted snapping at her. He had hoped as a kid just starting out with the hero gig that he would one day be an approachable hero like the Flash, but it just wasn't in his personality. It would be nice to be accepted in a community, to be a city mascot rather than it's dirty secret. Heck, even the Rouges accepted Flash! That might just have been Central though. That city was so bright and cheerful it gave him eye strain.
Dick stifled a sigh as he raised his head and placed his money on the counter, the exact amount of change being set down coin by meticulous coin, and turned to leave, his coffee clutched like a lifeline between his gravel-marked hands. That was when Liz, always unaware of the situation… or sometimes too aware, decided to speak up.
"Hey Nightwing! Who'd win in a fight between Red Arrow and Green Arrow?" Unaware. Definitely. That, or just on a whole new level of devious.
Dick forced himself to stop walking to the exit and began the laborious process of turning towards her, stopping his eyebrows sarcastically rising only through sheer force of will. When he moved to Bludhaven he'd promised himself that he wouldn't end up like Batman: disappearing mysteriously from an allies' side and abandoning them to the limelight with only a swish of his cape (not that he had a cape but the point still stood). Dick dragged his battered form around to face Liz.
"Uh, well Green Arrow's more experienced, having been a vigilante for much longer, but I'm friends with Red Arrow, so friendly bias, I suppose." Dick resumed his not-so-subtle break for freedom, eyes locked on the door like it represented everything he cared for in the world. Which at that moment, was mainly his coffee, and peace and quiet.
She moaned in annoyance, her head hitting the back of the plush chair with a soft thump. "But that just tells me who you're better friends with. Honestly, which one do you think would win in a fight?"
"I have to work with them both. I really don't want to say." Dick looked around the room shiftily, his eyes flicking to and fro behind his mask as he searched for cameras. Because either the League was setting him up, or the 3ITM club were working against him. He didn't know which was worse.
"Come on, it's not like they'll ever find out." she cajoled, chap-stick-covered lips falling into a persuasive pleading grin.
"Why do you need to know? Are you planning to pick off the weakest?" Dick asked with a hint of sarcasm, sending a half-hearted Bat-glare Liz' way.
"No." Liz shrugged, her college sweater (true to her nickname) crumpling around her shoulders. "If I wanted to pick off the weakest I'd start with Superman. All you have to do is cause a bit of trouble, let him get close, then wave a pink gemstone at him; and I'm pretty sure Batman would be down to after that too. I've thought about this, you know." She pointed a knowing finger at him.
"How do you know about that?" Dick hissed at her, immediately reverting to Nightwing mode.
"Dude! Internet, bro! There is a form of Kryptonite that turns Superman violently gay, and you seriously thought the fan-girls weren't going to find out. Where have you been, we were all over that like six months ago! You need to up your game. There are whole debate forums full of serious fans and crazy fans and I'm pretty sure even Lex Luthor occasionally shows up, so considering you people must monitor his Internet usage to high heaven I really don't understand how you don't know that we all know about the turns-Superman-gay-rock-of-awesome." The disbelief in her tone was almost palpable.
Dick sighed, one hand scraping over his domino mask in frustration. "Do you think you could have a list of all the sites that mention that by the next time I see you?" he asked.
"But then you'll get your Bat-buddies to take them down." she pouted. "Those sites are hilarious."
The Bat-glare intensified.
"Okay, I'll get you a list. But I'm not doing it this week, I'm working on my exams. And I won't be able to track them all down; I'm pretty sure it was on Tumblr at one point, and what goes on there never comes off. And if you and the rest of the Bat-butts take Tumblr down, I will personally unleash the fan-girls on your ass." Liz fixed him with a very stern look.
"Fine," she compromised, "by Friday. But you never answered my question."
"What?"
"Who'd win in a fight?" That was definitely a hidden evil grin behind Liz' sincerely interested expression. He could smell it.
"Green Arrow." Dick ground out, now thoroughly irritated.
"You're just saying that!" challenged Liz. "I need full explanations! Planned out potential fight sequences! Differences in fighting style! Both of their advantages and disadvantages! You can't just say Green Arrow."
"Fine! I'll just say Red Arrow then." said Dick, making for the exit again.
This time he was stopped by Lycra-girl interjecting from somewhere near her comatose fiance in the back of the shop.
"Who'd win out of Wonder Woman and Superman?" There was something going on here.
"I don't have ti- urgh, fine. Wonder Woman." He threw his hands up, only partly in annoyance. They were good, he could grudgingly appreciate that. Didn't mean he had to like it though.
"Why?"
Dick checked his answer, decided there wouldn't be any ramifications, and answered truthfully. "Because she's scarier."
"What about a fight between Black Canary and Flash." interrupted Mark from where he had been dosing. Apparently the spirit of harassing a hero could wake anyone up.
"Why do you think the Justice League spends all their time fighting each other?" This was getting ridiculous. He was ridiculous. He should just storm out.
"I don't." Mark shrugged. "But who'd win?"
"I don- Well okay, Black Canary." Dick answered, backing away towards the exit.
"Who'd win out of you and Batman?" asked Shaun, feigning interest in the conversation just to annoy Nightwing; probably as small-minded revenge for Rebecca.
"I DON'T- I have to go now."
"Hey Nightwing." called Rebecca.
"What?!" he wondered what she was going to ask him. He didn't like that smirk.
"You didn't let me stamp your card." That's why he didn't like that smirk.
Dick handed it over wordlessly, defeated. He decided it might be a few days until he came back here, and he wouldn't make the mistake of snapping at Rebecca again.