I skipped down the stairs and sat on the couch and began thinking where the Cullen's kept their clean batteries. I then began to wonder whose shift it was during this hour. After all it was only 11:58pm. I decided that it was Edwards shift and that it would be his fault if I got hurt during this little episode of mine. I meandered into Alice's room to see her dancing around gracefully to some songs on the radio.

"Alice? Where do you keep your batteries?" I asked.

The very small and elegant Vampire turned and looked at me.

"Why do you need batteries Bella?" She asked while turning down her music.

"The remote control for the television is dead. I figured I should replace the batteries." I lied with a confident smile. Alice smirked and then I frowned. I should have been smarter then to try to lie to Alice.

"You forgot that I can see into the future. I know what you're going to do." She said still giving me the 'your-not-so-bright' look

"Is my plan successful?" I asked with a very hopeful expression.

"I won't tell you that. But I will let you know, the batteries are in the closet downstairs. Be sure to grab a brand new one Bella!" She called out to me as I tip toed out of her room so I wouldn't draw any attention to myself.

While in the hallway, I formed my hands into a gun and hummed the mission impossible theme song to myself. I pressed my back against the wall and continued walking down the hallway and looked into every room. Jasper was still buried in his book, Rosalie was painting her nails, and Edward was not in his room. I then did a quick summersault back to the doorway of Jasper's room.

"Psst! PSST!" I whispered. Jasper looked up from his book this time noticing me.

"Can I help you?" He said irritated.

"Is it your turn to watch me? Or is it Edwards?" I asked.

"Technically Edwards. You have not gone to sleep yet. I Bella-Sit you from the time you wake up until 3:00. You haven't gone to sleep so I suppose its Edwards shift." He said shrugging.

"You're sure?"

"Yes! Now will you be quiet? Mr. Darcy is being an ass and I am very mad at him. I am screaming at him in my head. But then again Elizabeth wont corporate much. Oh why must love be so twisted?" He said while doing very awkward hand motions.

"Okay then…you're psychotic. I'm going back to my plan." I said as Jasper waved me away.

I continued doing summersaults down the hallway and held my hand in the formation of a gun. I was tiptoeing down the stairs when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I whirled around and pointed my gun at them.

"Whoa! Bella! I come in peace!" Emmett shouted.

"My name is Kiwi StrawberryTango!" I said while I still had my "gun" aimed at him.

"Well Kiwi StrawberryTango, my name is Captain Bluebeard." He said smiling.

"Captain Bluebeard huh?" I said suspiciously.

"It's a famous pirate ghost." Emmett said.

"Then why are you not talking like a pirate?" I asked pointing my gun closer to his face.

Emmett fidgeted and then began mumbling to himself. My guess was that he was to slow and stupid to figure out how to translate simple English into Pirate's Talk.

"Well Kiwi StrawberryTango, What be th' voyage ye be on?" Emmett asked. I smiled and he could tell I was satisfied and quite impressed.

"Well Em—I mean Captain Bluebeard—I am trying to find batteries to lick." I said with a very large grin.

"Aye! Where be yer scallywag Edward? This will be a mighty fun voyage!"

"I don't know where Edward is. But Captain Bluebeard, I do not think we are properly dressed for this mission!" I cried out.

Emmett pressed his hands to his face and shaped his mouth into an 'O' shape. He then smiled and shouted loudly so it echoed off the walls.

"Off t' Alices cabin! She has a box o' clothes watin' fer us."

We darted into Alices room. And clearly she didn't mind us being there. Emmett picked out a pirates outfit complete with a little parrot that sat on his shoulder and an eye patch. I picked out a black pea coat to go with my dark denim jeans, and a pair of aviators. I put my hair back so I was the official spy.

Within moments, Emmett had his sword out and I had my gun. Together we were the perfect team. I turned to Emmett with bright eyes.

"Shall we gather more followers?" I said with a serious tone.

"Who are ye natterin' about?" Emmett asked.

"Jasper. He could be a Ninja and follow us around." I said.

Emmett glared at me and then began whispering to his parrot.

"Feathers 'n I both agree that we do nah work wit' ninjas. They be filthy 'n dirty 'n I shall nah tolerate them."

"But Captain Bluebeard, what if one of us gets caught by the enemy? We need someone else that can help save the sacred battery."

"Kiwi StrawberryTango. Ask yourself: Are ye a pirate or a ninja. Choose mighty carefully. Ye only get one chance."

"Captain Bluebeard, now is not the time to play foolish games! For goodness sakes! Cant you work with a Ninja?" I begged.

Emmett stiffened up and looked me straight in the eye.

"I shall nah go on a voyage wit' a dirty rotten ninja. End o' discussion!"

"Well…he is reading Pride and Prejudice. Maybe he would like to be a British man." I suggested.

Emmett raised his hands over his head.

"First ye insist that Feathers 'n I work wit' a rotten Ninja. Then ye suggest that we work wit' a British scallywag?! 'tis outrage! Do ye know wha' th' British do t' us Pirates?"

"No Captain Bluebeard I don't have the faintest idea." I admitted.

"They hang us high above in th' gallows. I spit at th' faces o' British scallywags." He whispered as he got really close to me.

I stood there bewildered at how much in character Emmett could get. But I realized the clock was ticking away and Emmett and I had to act fast to find out batteries without getting caught.

"My apologies. Let us venture down to the closet. I hear they keep batteries stocked inside." I explained.

Together, the two of us made it downstairs by doing back flips and summersaults and then finally we reached our goal.

"X Marks th' spot. Ye do th' honors o' openin' th' treasure chest." Emmett said.

I slowly opened the door and found them. A beautiful square 9 volt battery. Exactly what I had been searching for.

"Yes! Captain Blue Beard! Mission complete." I said smiling. I took it out and stared at it like it was my child or something. I had never seen something more magnificent in my entire life. Emmett high-fived me.

"Well go ahead Kiwi StrawberryTango. Lick th' battery 'n tell me wha' happens." Emmett said.

But before I could, I saw something standing behind Emmett. I knew right away how much trouble I was in.

"Oh no! Captain Bluebeard! Abort mission! The enemy has found us!" I yelled while trying to run away.

Edward was walking up to Emmett and gave him an icy cold stare.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked in a low growl.

"Wha' th' Davy Jones' locker are ye doin'? Yer ruinin' our voyage! I be sendin' th' kracken aft ye!" Emmett said.

"Why are you talking like a pirate?" Edward said getting closer to Emmett and I.

"'tis a lot o' fun. Ye should really try it some time. Unless ye dont like pirates. Edward are ye a Pirate or a Ninja?"

"Shut up Emmett!" Edward snapped.

And then Edward turned to me. I felt a cold spark of electricity. He was going to run after me. I could totally do this. I could do the matrix moves they do in the movies. I could pull myself out of this mess. All I had to do was run like crazy. And then I had to lock myself in the bathroom and lick the battery. Then my life changing experience was completed.

"Bella, Love, put the battery down. I read Alice's thoughts."

"My name is Kiwi StrawberryTango!" I screamed.

"Cut the crap Bella. I mean it. Drop the battery now." He said as he advanced towards me.

Just before Edward could take another step, Emmett threw himself on top of Edward and the two of them were wrestling on the floor.

"Run Kiwi Strawberry Tango! I shall hold 'im off! 'ave that ye dirty rotten Ninja lover! I know ye 'ave always loved Ninjas! Thats why ye love Jasper more than me! I shall send ye t' Davy Jones' locker! Th' Kraken will feast off yer carcass!" Emmett yelled.

I ran down the hallway, flew right past Carlisle and accidentally bumped into him which caused him to drop a bunch of papers.

Edward was still struggling to get up off the floor and I could hear him yell to Carlisle.

"After her! Don't let her lick that battery!"

But before Edward or Carlisle could reach me, I made it safely into the bathroom with the battery in my hand and the door locked behind me. I could hear Edward at the door trying to talk me out of it. He made it sound like I was about to commit suicide. And then, I pressed my tongue to the battery. There was a shock that jolted me a little and caught me by so much surprise, I screamed. I was then giggling out of control and I could only picture Edwards horror struck face in my mind. That only caused me to laugh more.

When I emerged from the bathroom, all the Cullen's were outside the bathroom door.

Edward had a very angry face and Carlisle looked quite amused. Emmett was nodding his head in absolute admiration at my skills. Rosalie and Esme were looking quite confused. Alice looked at me.

"You know he is going to remove all batteries in the house now right Bella?" She said.

"I know." I smiled.

Edward snatched the battery out of my hand and looked me in the eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Edward…I have a confession." I said.

"Bella…?" Edward asked looking concerned.

"Jasper was right. Licking a battery really is a life changing experience."

Everyone laughed except for Jasper and Edward. Jasper was so frightened for what Edward may do to him that he nearly fell over backwards. Edward was trying to make sense of everything. I tried to keep a serious face on, but inside I was giggling insanely.

A/N: Sorry about the Pirate talk. I found a pirate translator online and was having so much fun using it. Also—if you actually want to lick a battery use a clean one because using a used one is bad! (This chapter was written for my friend Anna who inspired me) Whats YOUR life changing experience? Please review!