KARMA IS A BITCH. (That is first and foremost on my mind.)

HEADS UP: I'm really pissed, accidentally hit "Don't Save" so this is the second time I'm writing this. Maybe I can make it better than it was before, but I'm still really fucking annoyed. Hate it when that happens. (Guess you can call that karma, not allowed to be typing this right now, and I'm doing it anyway, so it gets fucking deleted by accident and I have to start over. What fucking luck…)

Moving on… what I wrote on the original was such:

I hope you guys don't get pissed at me for making this happen, however, I promise there are better times up ahead… Besides just because she dies, there is still Naomi… NONONONONO. I was joking, nobody dying today... :D JUST A JOKE. FOR THE LOVELY PEOPLE WHO READ MY AUTHOR'S NOTES. ;)

But yeah, this is a rough chapter, even though no one is dying…. Enjoy :D

Chapter 4: Wankshot

"Where the fuck is Emily?" Katie started hyperventilating between each word as we stepped into the room. She was freaking out, but it was as if she wasn't even in the room with Naomi; the thoughts in her head were going a million miles per hour screaming at her to run, screaming to her that she doesn't have to deal with this, it isn't her fault this happened to Emily, that she should be able to fucking live her life and move on without having to put herself through this. Nevertheless, she was drawn to the empty hospital bed.

On the bed was a slightly bloody I.V. needle, laying absent of the arm it had been injecting it's fluids into. Naomi picked up the sheets, hoping maybe Emily was just hiding under them, her mind trying to ignore the fact that there was no way Emily could fit between the small space there was in the folds of the sheets and the mattress. A crumpled up ball fell to the ground beneath the overturned table and she reached to pick it up. Blue eyes locked with brown as she bent down, and turned looking under the bed.

"Emily, what are you doing under the bed?" fear was pouring out of her mouth. Scared of this side of Emily, it was never a good sign when Emily did something so strange. She watched Emily's eyes flick to the paper ball between them and went to grab it. Naomi felt the cold small hand wrap around hers, in attempt to get it first. Naomi would have given it to the red-head but she wanted answers so badly, why was this paper crumpled, why didn't Emily want her to see it. She started unfolding it, aware of the brown eyes boring into her skull. Her own eyes went wide when she saw a giant and bold number 'six' on the paper. 'Does she remember our six years together, that it was our sixth anniversary? Is that what this means?' Naomi dropped the ball in shock and looked into her lover's eyes.

"Go away." Whispered the husky voice.

Naomi's eyes went even wider, and her breath got stuck in her throat. Those were two words that Emily could say to kill her without using an actual physical weapon. All Naomi could manage was the small and very simple question.

"What?" The shock was clear in her voice.

Katie now realized Naomi hadn't just dropped something and was sitting on the floor for no reason. She quickly rushed to the floor beside her and gasped when she saw Emily, her arm bleeding from removing the I.V. from herself. Katie looked between her sister and the blonde and had no idea what she should do.

The blue eyes were locked intensely with brown.

"It's all your fault." The husky voice said louder this time, she seemed absolutely aware of the full impact and meaning of what she was saying.

Katie started babbling incessantly trying to calm Emily down, and get her out from beneath the bed. Naomi's mind drifted from her body, she would have passed out if she wasn't being carried by her running feet at a significant speed. She raced out of the room, ignoring the shouting behind her, down the steps, no time for the elevator, out the back entrance and into an alley.

She held herself up, arms stretched against the alley wall. It was no good though; her body was shaking way too violently for her to even fight what was inevitably going to happen. She collapsed onto the ground, her tears cascading down her cheeks onto her shirt and the hard pavement that was dirtying up her jeans. She couldn't even feel the scratches she got from falling, she just sobbed, gasping for air anytime her crying let up for a second. Her throat was exploding the loud weeping of all the emotions that had been whirling up inside her.

'It's come true. My greatest fear has finally confronted me, and I have no choice but to leave. I can't even run from it anymore, I can only go because it is exactly what she wants me to do. I've tried to tell myself everything wasn't my fault, day in and day out, but it's exhausting, and now that she's said it to my face I have no choice but to accept it. You can't ignore the words of your lover when they are so helpless and in so much pain. It hurts so much but the way she said it, I can't help but think that she meant it.

It wouldn't have been nearly as bad if it had been Katie or Jenna who told me to leave, I could still fight to stay if it were either of them. But if Emily doesn't want me then I cannot do anything but listen. I have no choice in the matter. Even the doctor will keep me away. After this, he'll think I've made Emily crazy, that I'm a liability to her recovery. I guess I fucking am. She said it's all my fault. It must be.'

"Naomi, is that you?"

A man down the alley started to approach the shaking figure. As he got closer he realized she was in no state to respond. Two strong hands lifted her into his arms and carried her out of the alley and into his car. Gently buckling her and kissing the top of her head before shutting the door and getting in the drivers seat. They sat, the only sound between them were the sniffles and cries of the blonde as they made their way to the destination.

When they got there, he climbed out of his seat and grabbed two blankets from the trunk before walking around and unbuckling the girl and lifting her again. Naomi didn't like being treated like so very much but she had great trust in the person she was with and let him do so. She relaxed slightly when she realized they were at her old house, but she stiffened at the thought Emily wouldn't be coming there with her again. The man sensed her uneasiness and held her tighter and turned away from the house she moved out of years ago to get a flat with Emily, now only lived in by her mother and Keiran, and crossed the street to the large and empty of people, grass park. He expertly set down one of the blankets and placed her gently atop of it before settling beside her and putting the second one on top of them.

"Dun worry babes, the cookie munster is gunno make everything all better." He smiled at her.

She smiled weakly to let him know that she appreciated his effort to make her feel better. But despite his attempts the thoughts came back to her and sent her into another crying spree.

'Emily will never be able to comfort me and snuggle me again. And I won't even be able to do it for her, even if I promise to expect nothing in return.'

Cook could sense this pain was much deeper than any of the pain he felt had experienced. He had only heard about what happened a day ago and got here as soon as he could. He knew Naomi would need someone to fall back on when Emily couldn't support her. And Naomi was definitely hard to get through to; he didn't think Naomi would pour her out to Katie. He knew all too well that Naomi wouldn't want to burden Katie even more with her own stress when Katie is going through the same pain as her with Emily, Naomi even felt perhaps Katie was in even more pain than her. He gently pushed her head so that she was lying on his chest, and could help slow down and even her breathing. It took a good hour at least, but it was effective enough for the time being.

"C—Cook. H—ow did you kn—ow to come?" She still wasn't perfect, but he continued stroking her hair lovingly and covered her with his jacket when he saw her shiver. The breeze was getting stronger and the blanket wasn't enough. She smiled weakly again, to show some sign of thanks, and looked at him waiting for an answer.

"You know, my li'l bro, Emily's li'l bro, they talk. I happened to come up in one of their li'l plans and found out about it…"

He squeezed her shoulder.

"I'm here for you Naomikins…"

There was a brief pause where they enjoyed the silence and just sat, watching the wind blow the trees and swings on the playground.

"You know, sometimes you got to let that mind of yours stop splashing about and just let yourself drown. Gotta let someone save you…. To get back again"

Naomi's smile was a bit stronger at his random moment of wisdom. It reminded her of the last time she and Cook were sitting in this very place having a very similar conversation, when she was seventeen. It wasn't the fondest of memories thinking about the reason they were upset that time, 'fucking Sophia', she winced at the thought, but it was nice just sitting with Cook, just being.

"Cook, what if there is no one to save me anymore…"

"Ah, babes, Emily may not be able to save you, but you know… you always uh… have the cookie munster… I'll be your lifeguard…" He said with a cheeky wink. Naomi knew not to be offended; this was just James Cook's way of sharing his vast knowledge of life. It's all just one-big pot of love to him; we're just the millions of pick-up lines waiting for a chance to be heard or salvaged out of some ancient ruin… as he would brilliantly put it.

"I'm scared Cook…"

"Dun worry about Emily, she'll come around… she's just got to learn to swim to the deep-end. She's knows how to swim, but she's afraid cause you can't see through the darkness of the deep-end when you're standing in the shallow end."

"You really stick to your fucking comparisons of life don'tchu Cook?" Naomi laid her head down onto Cook's lap, snuggling into his warmth.

"Didn't I tell you I was clever once?" The blonde could tell he was wiggling his eyebrows without even looking at his face.

"No Cook, you told me I was clever…" The blue eyes rolled back followed by a deep sigh from the girl's mouth.

"Just let yourself be taught for once babes. You got to heal yourself before you can expect yourself to heal other's without getting hurt. I'll be your doctor, Naomikins."

"Cook, shut the fuck up." Naomi laughed.

"Wait one more," he made his voice extra serious, "You just burn kid, you just burn. And then call me the fucking fireman."

"Oh god." It wasn't long before they both went back to the silence, relaxing, when Naomi fell asleep.

The two sturdy hands picked her head up off her lap and laid her down on the blanket before running back to the house across the street, knocking lightly, hoping for someone to answer, but still nervous. The last time he had been inside was when the cops nearly found him and threw him back in jail. He had made himself disappear after the whole thing with the cops. It was a rush of memories that he had to push away for Naomi now. He was thankful and surprised Naomi didn't have a heart attack or ask questions when he found her. That was the first time since everything with Freddie that she had seen him, it had been six fucking years, and he had missed all his mates very much. He was happy she didn't just flip him off when he found her, even though he knew she was no where near up for doing that.

"What the bloody fuck are you doing here? Came back for your porno's you little tosser?" a scruffy bearded Irishman answered the door, chuckling to himself.

"Already took those out of your desk ages ago Kieran, is it alright if Naomi stays the night?"

"Yeah, she's my fucking daughter, course she can… errr, why isn't she herself asking though?" he had a bit of a worried look spreading across his face.

"She's going through a tough time with Emily, you know?"

Kieran nodded, and Cook continued.

"I came around to see her, and Naomi was a mess, and she's fallen asleep in the park." He pointed behind him.

"Sure thing. I'll tell Gina she's coming. Ginaaaa!"

An older blonde woman came towards the door as Cook turned around picked up the sleeping Naomi wrapped in the blankets and carried her to the door.

"Nice of you to return Cook." Gina flashed cook a smile.

"Yeah, it's been awhile. You want me to put her in her room?"

"That would be wonderful Cook. Are you staying the night?"

"Oh, uh, Naomi and I aren't… she's um… got Emily still, err, ya know?… so I don't think she'd err want that… I mean… uhm, I'm not her uh… type… it's just… we're friends… not with benefits… except that time… but she's clever… so nothing uhm happened… it was once… but never again… err… just… FUCK… I mean not us fucking… not like monkeying kinda fuck… I mean just fuck… like oh fuck, I can't shut up… Fuck sake." he blushed. 'What a fucking JJ moment, Cook. You fucking dick…PULL IT TOGETHER.'

Kieran and Gina laughed heartily at his awkward spewing before she took away his embarrassment.

"I know dear, I meant the guest bedroom. You could use our shower as well." She smiled, only caringly.

"Oh. Right. That would be nice." He said shyly. 'You're fucking twenty-three. Act like a man, not that fucking seventeen year-old tosser...'

Gina shot Kieran a knowing glance before telling him to get a towel for Cook. Cook thanked them and brought Naomi to her room, before tucking her in bed, and kissing her on the forehead. He smiled to himself when she scrunched up her nose.

"Even in your sleep you don't want to wiggle waggle with me do ya…" he laughed. "Everything is gunno get better Naoms, the cookie munster is back and he isn't gunno let nobody else fuckin die on his watch." He swallowed away something deep he tried to not think about. It was the real reason he came to find Naomi, but he wasn't ready to tell her or admit to himself what was really bothering him.

He climbed back down the stairs and into the hallway by the bathroom where Kieran was holding a towel out to him.

"You know Cook, my wife is pretty fucking intuitive."

"Big word, mate." Cook was nervous about what he was getting at.

"Well I didn't teach fucking english class so I'm not explaining it, anyway, she wants me to offer you a room in our big and lovely abode, until you get yourself together, as long as you need, we're hardly home and we could use someone around the house, keeping it safe."

"Er, I dun need that… thanks though…" Cook grabbed the towel and started heading towards the shower. Right before he shut the bathroom door he heard one of his biggest secrets shot out into the open.

"Its shit living in a car, Cook, I've had to before and it isn't fucking healthy."

The man now felt like he was a boy, leaning his back against the now shut bathroom door and sliding down. He reached over and turned on the shower as hot as it went, and let the steam from the heated water fill the bathroom as he cried; just like the little Cook he's never been able to move on from.

Naomi got out of bed and stretched. Looking into her mirror she realized how badly that rest was needed. Her face looked so much more refreshed than it did yesterday, not that she was really feeling any better on the inside… She looked into her old closet and found a skirt and shirt that were decent that she had left behind when she moved, and changed into them. After having a banana from the kitchen and giving her mum a hug and kiss she asked one of the biggest questions floating around her mind all morning since she woke up.

"Where's Cook?"

"He stayed the night, think he's smoking on the porch." Kieran muttered from behind a large open newspaper.

"Thanks." Naomi headed out her front door and was greatly relieved that he hadn't disappeared on her, again. Cook could feel her relief radiating off of her.

"Still here babe." He said as he blew out some smoke, playing with the spliff between his fingers.

"Cook, how did you know about Emily… you haven't spoken to any of us in six fucking years… we thought you were in fucking jail or dead or some fucking…I don't know… you just fucking abandoned us." Here we go, Cook thought. He decided to only answer her first question, because really she had asked about four or five and he didn't like any of them, they were extremely complicated and full of reasons that would bring up his hurt…

"The Fitch boy is friends with my l'il bro. Word got to me, so I came. I only actually found out early yesterday morning…"

Yesterday….

GORDANMCFUCKU: Wanna hang out tmoro? Found awesome new spot 2 chill other day

JFITCH1: can't mum wants me home, freaking out

GORDANMCFUCKU: ? what now ? u ain't wearing lady clothes again r u?

JFITCH1: FCK U. that was one time. HOLY SHIT FORGOT TO TELL U. EMILY in HOSP

GORDONMCFUCKU: bollokuwankshite! HOW?

JFITCH1: She got wankshot by a bus

COOK-SPLIFFINJR: Shit. Is her face all fucked up?

JFITCH1: Dunno. Bitch Mum won't let me go C her.

GORDONMCFUCKU: dayum. U shuld sneak out

JFITCH1: No car, no $$$ for bus. Cant.

COOK-SPLIFFINGJR: I could ask Cook to take ya

JFITCH1: that wuld be fuckin ace

GORDONMCFUCKU: take pics if she's bloody

JFITCH1: fuck off she's my sister

COOK-SPLIFFINGJR: COOK! I have an adventur for ya!

COOKIEMUNSTUR: EY mate! Told ya 2 only msg me if emergency, not 4 a fucking advntr

COOK-SPLIFFINGJR: IT IS . James Fitch needs a ride to the hosp

COOKIEMUNSTUR: y?

COOK-SPLIFFINGJR: Ems got wankshot by a bus

COOKIEMUNSTUR: the fuck does that mean…

COOK-SPLIFFINGJR: hit. really badly.

COOKIEMUNSTUR: this isn't funny shit li'l man.

COOK-SPLIFFING JR: not joke.

COOKIEMUNSTUR: what hosp

COOK-SPLIFFINGJR: i think the North End one… u gunno do it?

COOKIEMUNSTUR: ill go C Emz. mayB take fitch kid l8r… pce.

COOK-SPLIFFINGJR: HEY! That waznt the deal!

COOKIEMUNSTUR: was NO deal, go to bed bro, past ur bedtime

COOK-SPLIFFINGJR: FU

COOKIEMUNSTUR: thanks for the info. Gnite. Or morn. Wtvr it fukin is.

Well. Thank you for reading this chapter. (by the way it did come out better than I had written it the first time… still… that sucked.)

Err, Hope you enjoyed the new addition of Cook to the story… Although I'm still deciding how important I should make his role, I'd promise not to take away really from Emily and Naomi but I think it would give a nice addition to the story…. Lemme know!

Furthermore, for those of you reading my other story, I've thought about the "bang" for it over my break and I'm still not positive about it, but I'm going to start writing it tonight and see what happens. I'll probably upload it tomorrow, tonight it you are lucky…

ANYWAY. Now for the Thank yous.

1 cookie if you read it all, 2 cookies if you alerted it, 3 cookies if you fav'd it, 10 cookies if you reviewed it, and a million cookies if you got someone else to read it. ;]

Hell yeah. I own a secret cookie factory in my basement so keep those reviews coming and Ill ship em on over. –Shira