Again thank you so much for reviews! A big, big thank you for GencoOliveOil for asking the questions that needed to be answered to make this believable...well as belivable as Lost can be! Also to my regular reviewers AdulterousWhore and QueenOfHyperbole :)

This is a bit of a filler and showing how Sawyer got to where he is.

There won't be another chapter for a while as I have exam week which is going to be hell, I'll try and get another one up soon but it may be a while...

Thanks again and remember how much I love reviews!


The sirens deafened him as they sat in the ambulance, hurtling toward the hospital. Juliet lay on the bed next to him, her eyes flickering yet seeing nothing as the paramedics seemed to dance around her. Sawyer gripped her unresponsive hand tightly as small words punctured through his daze.

"Femoral Artery"

"Too much bleeding"

"Have to find the source"

All the time his eyes never left her face, they'd been through to much together for it to end like this.

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Kate dragged him away just as the structure disappeared down the chasm, he still feel her fingers around his wrist; hear her voice in his ears.

"James" Kate bent down beside him and put her hand on his shoulder. He looked at her, his eyes dark and emotionless; only she called him James, they'd never called each other anything else than their real names, she'd felt to need for any terms of endearment and he only teased her with 'blondie' or 'barbie' knowing she was irritated by blondes being considered stupid. To Kate he was Sawyer, always had been.

"Sawyer" he snarled back at her "My name is Sawyer, not James" Kate withdrew her hand like she had been burnt and Jack pulled her to his feet and coughed uneasily.

"Sawyer we need to get moving"

But James only looked at his hands, "Juliet" he whispered.

"Come on! Come on!"

He head snapped upwards "Juliet?" his voice was raised and he started toward the hole in the ground.

"Sawyer" Jack yelled after him, when James didn't respond he ran after him and grabbed him by the arm "James she's gone"

Sawyer turned slowly on the spot and lifted his eyes to glare at him and in one swift movement punched him hard across the face. Jack dropped to the floor with a groan of pain; Sawyer towered above him for a moment ready to strike again... but then came the flash of blinding white light.

It seemed to compress him, pushing from every side. He yelled out in pain and fought against it, he found it was getting harder and harder to breath. Then, as soon as it had started, it was over. They fell to the ground, panting. Looking frantically from right to left he saw Kate curled a few meters away from him, Jack sprawled on the floor, Hurley rubbing his head, Jin swearing in Korean and Sayid groaning in pain, Miles was barely moving- only the rise and fall of his chest showed he was still alive. Sawyer straitened, lifting a hand to his face, all the blood was gone, and his scratches, bruises, disappeared- he had lost all of his injuries. He raised his head to look around once more and it was then he caught sight of two others, Locke and Sun. He leapt to his feet "Sun, John!"

Both raised their head wearily and their eyes widened at the sight of them. It was Locke who spoke first "Where...where are we?"

Suddenly a torrent of meaningless words hit Sawyer from behind and Jin raced to his wife's side, embracing her and kissing her- sending a numb feeling through James and he turned away, unable to watch. He spotted a man standing in the corner, he stepped out and the light flooded him.

Jacob

Jacob watched them all with a smug expression, overly confidant, it made James want to kill him on the spot- he thought he had resolved everything, but Juliet was still stuck down there, and he wouldn't even be able to bury her properly. "The Island is finished with you" his dark voice caused everyone to turn and look "We will return you to your old lives, you should know you cannot change time" James watched as Jack looked away, so, both he and Kate where the reason he would now be alone, Juliet had died needlessly.

"You will be placed on a raft out at sea; you should be rescued soon afterwards. Tell them your plane crashed, you may say the truth about the island, it will never be found. I have eliminated all criminal charges against you; you will of course have plenty of publicity...deal with it as you wish.'

James was just about to speak when Locke spoke '"What about the other survivors, from the other crash?"

Jacob sneered "The Island will do with them as it wishes, this is the reason you can go free and if I were you John, I would go with it and not try to return here"

James then began to feel the compressions begin again "Wait!" he started to yell "What about..." but Jacob has disappeared and the world spun around him before fading to black.

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They all sat on the plane on the way back to New York. Sun and Jin sat close together, her head resting on his shoulder; Jack and Kate sat side by side, their hands clasped together- James eyes them all with a jealous hatred he couldn't contain. Hurley gently patted him on the shoulder and he turned to eye him carefully "I sorry Dude" Hurley's words were gentle "About Juliet, I know you loved her" James nodded stiffly; he hadn't spoken a word since they had been rescued.

A woman walked in to join them and gave them a fake smile "Well, we'll be arriving soon. There are a lot of press, feel free to speak to them- the Oceanic Six especially will be in high demand but the rest of you" she regarded the other four carefully "You're going to have even more questions to answer about why you didn't return with the others" James snorted, they hadn't been able to help that had they?

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"We've provided you with a settlement" his lawyer murmured to him "You'll never have to work again I'm pleased to say. We wish you all the best Mr Ford"

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James paced up and down the waiting room for the hospital, desperate for news. They had wheeled her in for surgery an hour ago and still there had been no news. He sat down, putting his head in his hands, he'd left Clementine with her grandmother, on Cassidy's side- now that her mother faced jail they needed to sort something out for her and he needed time to think. He lifted his eyes to the clock, he wasn't sure if he could take this anymore.

"Sawyer?" he turned to see Jack Shepherd walking down the corridor, his face a mask of confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too Doc" Saywer shook his hand firmly; glad to have something to take his mind off of Juliet for a few moments. "How's Kate? Hear you're a daddy"

This was the nicest Jack had heard James since they had parted a year ago. "She's good" he beamed "The baby's beautiful...we, we named her Claire. Are you here to see her?"

"I wish" despair crept in James' voice and Jack frowned

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Do you work here?"

"As a matter of fact I do"

"Well, go and tell those surgeons to hurry up"

Jack noticed the terror in his voice and nodded "I will, take this to Kate- her room's just down the hall" Sawyer took the magazines and began to walk away but Jack's voice stopped him "James?" James turned "Who should I ask for"

James gave a half smile "Ask for Juliet Burke" Then he turned and continued walking, ignoring Jack who stood completely still then turned and ran toward the operating rooms. James continued to walk down the corridor, stopping at the door covered with pink. This had to be Kate's room, as he pushed the door open he was confronted with the sight of Kate lying calmly in her bed, a small baby girl sleeping soundly in her arms. "She's beautiful" he said gruffly and Kate turned, her eyes widening in surprise. He hadn't said a word to her since Juliet's death.

"Sawyer, what are you doing here?"

"You can call me James if you really want to" guilt at the way he had spoken to her surfaced and he smiled at her. She looked tired, yet her green eyes sparkled with happiness at the sleeping child with thick brown hair. He knew they still visited Aaron at least once a week so in reality it was like her fourth child, she had another girl and a boy who he had never met. Kate smiled appreciatively at his sincerity "I was here anyway and I bumped into Jack, he said to give you this"

She laughed ad he handed her the magazines "He hates me reading this trash but he still buys it for me" she put the magazines on the table next to her and gestured to the chair, "Take a seat, please. I've missed you"

"Now I don't believe that Freckles" James smiled weakly but he still sat down, in the back of his mind the worry for Juliet was becoming more and more apparent, why hadn't Jack come back?

"Do you name all your kids after the dead?" the sarcasm was evident in his tone, he hated the very idea of it.

"No" Kate rolled her eyes "Jack got his way with Claire but apart from that the kids have completely normal names. Charlotte, she's the eldest and Alexander"

James snorted "Please tell me you shorten those"

"Oh God yes!" she giggled "Their just Lottie and Alex to us"

James put his hand on hers "I'm happy for you Kate, I really am"

She smiled at him, looking him in the eye "I'm sorry James" she paused "I'm sorry I couldn't..."

"It's alright" he said gently "I knew there was nothing you could do anyway. I just..." he hand dropped from hers and she looked stricken. The moment was broken as Jack sprinted into the room, James' head snapped round "Well?" panic evident he stood up. Jack looked up at him and nodded; James barged past him and sprinted from the room. He didn't stop running until he reached her room.

She was lying on the hospital bed, her skin white against the dark blue sheets. She was still fast asleep as he pushed the door open but as he got closer her eyelids flickered. "James?" her voice was hoarse and she reached out a hand for him which he took tightly.

"You have got to stop scaring me like that" his voice was choked and she laughed weakly. He bent down to kiss her "I love you" he murmured "So much"

"I love you too" she whispered.