Disclaimer! I wonder what would happen if I did own Crisis Core? ... *mind wanders*

Fact Four: Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you, may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

You. Are. A. Dumbass.""

"I'm a dumbass."

Elena tucked her hair behind her ear so she could get a good look at me. It kinda felt like being scrutinized by a dinosaur.

…

More specifically, a Velociraptor. (You know, the little midget dinosaurs that not only tear you apart, but make fun of you in the process.)

"Do you honestly think that Cissnei was pissed because you didn't jump off the diving board? Because you fell?" Femi-Nazi said with her hands on her hips. (Dear Lord, she's going to make some unlucky guy one naggy wife.)

"Well, when you put it like that…" I started, rubbing the back of my neck. Elena groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Like I said, you're a dumbass. No, you're worse than that. You're just stupid. If brains were gold, you'd be poorer than Ron Weasley, and that's saying something," she said with a dismissive wave. I blinked at her.

"… You did not just use a Harry Potter reference."

"Screw shiny vampires; Hogwarts is where it's at," was her reply. "But that's not the point. The point is that she wasn't mad because you fell. She was mad because you fell trying to impress her." I just blinked at her again. Elena brought her face to her palm and shook her head slowly.

"I knew you were stupid, but this…" She sighed and looked up at me. "Alright, Fair," Elena said as if it was some kind of nasty foot fungus. "If you want to make things right with Cissnei, you should realize that girls don't call guys, guys call girls." A light bulb went off in my head.

"That's it!" I screamed. "That's why she won't talk to me! Because I have to talk to her first!" I picked Elena up in a bear hug. "Elena, you're a genius! Maybe you aren't such a Femi-Nazi after all!"

"What did you call me?"

Oops.

A/N: Anyone else think that Malfoy has some great one-liners? (Sure, he's a Slytherin, but Moaning Myrtle said it herself; he's bullied, too, and he feels insecure, too. Beating on the Golden Trio is his stress ball.) I should start a running tally of how many Twilight and Harry Potter references I can stick in these things. Well, until next time, my lovely harem~~ :D