Well here we are again!
I'm afraid this is a sex-free chapter...no, wait! Normal serVICE will resume in chapter five. But first Reno needs to set his trap...
There is reference to a hard, shiny purple object in this chapter, but it's not what you think XD.
Reno waited until the office was empty and then examined the whiskey bottle carefully. Yup – wasn't going nuts – the tiny mark he'd made yesterday was now below the level of the spirit. For the last couple of weeks someone had been taking his whiskey and then refilling it – not watering it down or using a cheaper brand as far as he could tell – just taking it and replacing it with the same stuff. Why would anybody do that? He thought some of his cigarettes had gone as well, and, weirdly, a half used packet of chewing gum. Made no sense.
Rude? Would just ask.
Elena? Hated whiskey. Could've done it for a joke, but what would be the point of a joke he might not even have noticed?
Tseng? As far from a practical joker as you could hope to get.
Rufus? Wouldn't lower himself. Rufus would just call down from his office and say, "Reno, bring me some whiskey." Besides, Rufus only smoked socially.
Reno grinned. Well – he wasn't a surveillance expert for nothing. It took him all of ten seconds to put a plan together. First he'd need something big and obvious that wouldn't arouse suspicion. Glancing around the office, his gaze fell on Elena's desk and he smiled. Perfect.
That afternoon, when the others were back from their assignments, Reno sauntered over to the coffee machine, as usual, and perched on the edge of Elena's desk while he drank the horrible coffee. Elena looked up irritably from the report she was writing. "Reno! You're in my light!"
"Was the last thing she said, as the shadow of the Reno fell across her desk…" Reno added, melodramatically. Elena sighed, but couldn't help joining in. "So the blonde Turk whipped out her handgun, and before 'the Reno' could respond –"
"Ah, Laney, ain't no such thing as 'before the Reno could respond', yo? So – quicker than thought, Reno disarmed her, and refused to get out of her light until she paid the ransom."
"Which was?"
"Um…" Reno pretended to scan her desk. "A nice shiny purple stapler?"
"No way! That's mine, not company property. I like purple."
"'Kay, what else you got?"
"A collection of old coffee cups?"
"Got plenty of my own, yo."
"Dead pot plant?"
"Hmm. Totally dead, or salvageable?"
"It would need lots of TLC…"
Reno grinned. "Can I order that through admin?"
"No, Reno. Have to provide your own."
"Well – I'll give it a go. Okay – deal."
Reno took the half-dead plant Elena pointed to and carried it back to his desk in triumph. He went to the water cooler and fetched it a drink, pouring the icy water over the little, dried up plant, then cursing as peaty, black liquid seeped out of the base of the pot and all over the file he was supposed to be reading. Elena laughed as he searched the office for tissues. "You need to stand it in something, Reno!"
"Yeah, now you tell me!"
Elena just smiled and leaned back on her chair, watching Reno cleaning up. "Bet you can't revive it."
"Bet I can."
"How much?"
Reno considered. He could use a few extra gil, especially now Shin-Ra was facing possible law-suits from practically the entire planet, all citing the company as a direct cause of meteor and demanding compensation. Rufus was getting twitchy about it – pay was frozen, and everything was subject to cost analysis. Reno grimaced. No wonder Elena wanted to hold on to her stapler – probably had to fill out ten different forms just to get hold of a new one of those.
"Fifty gil?"
Elena scoffed. "A hundred says it's completely dead by the end of next week."
"So if there's even one green leaf…?"
"Yeah. You win."
Reno examined the pathetic specimen carefully. There was a tiny bit of green half way up the stem, and two leaves that had patches of green, if you looked closely. "You're on!" said Reno. "This plant is going to survive, yo!"
By the end of the day everyone, including Rufus, had heard about the bet and had visited the office to examine the plant. Everyone, including Rufus, had placed bets of their own – Rude and Tseng siding with Elena, and Rufus with Reno.
That was the interesting thing about being based in Healen Lodge instead of a huge corporate building: people were forced into much more intimate interactions than they had been in the past. Rufus still spent most of the time in his office or his rooms, but he had to come down to the cafeteria for food like everyone else. There was one TV, one working coffee machine, and one set of bathrooms, not counting the en-suites in the rooms.
Reno, who was naturally a social creature, found the new arrangement suited him perfectly: more people in a smaller space meant more opportunities for mischief. Rude bore everything with his usual quiet stoicism and Elena seemed to enjoy the increased interaction. Tseng made his tiny room into a peaceful, ordered retreat and seemed as content there as he had been in the huge director's office in Midgar. Reno guessed Rufus must be hating it though, especially with the geostigma to contend with.
Reno shrugged, and went back to playing with his plant, carefully removing the dead leaves, and brushing dust off those that remained. He wondered aloud about giving it a name. Rude shook his head, Tseng sighed, and Elena, in a flash of inspiration, suggested, "Leif – because it's only got one good one." So Leif it was.
By the end of the day everyone was thoroughly sick of Reno and his plant. Which was exactly how he wanted it.
The next morning, Elena stared as Reno edged through the door of the office carrying a large, extremely healthy-looking plant, with hundreds of tiny leaves and a mass of little red flowers.
"Reno," Elena laughed, "No-one is going to believe that's the same plant! If you're going to use the old straight swap trick, the idea is - one: use two things that look almost the same, and two: do the exchange unobtrusively."
"Well thank you for the tip from the Beginners' Guide to Espionage," grinned Reno, "but that's not the plan. No – I got this as a friend for Leif. To encourage him. She's called Cammie."
"Oh, right. Cammie. Now it all makes sense." Elena rolled her eyes, as Reno placed the large plant on his desk, carefully.
Again, by the end of the day, Reno had spent so much time talking about the plants, watering the plants, and wondering vocally about their relationship, that everyone had had enough. Reno's plants were an established part of the office already. Reno left the room just ahead of Elena, waving cheerfully at her, and the plants. "Bye," he told the plants. "Now Cammie, you keep watch over Leif for me, yo!"
Elena departed a few minutes later, switching off the lights as she went. The office was dark, except for a tiny red light, blinking away deep in the heart of Cammie's foliage. The camera was concealed inside a wire cage, which prevented its detection by the building's security systems. The lens was tiny – disguised as one of the many red flowers. It was pointed directly at Reno's chair, which he had left pushed in, against the drawers. If anyone wanted to steal his whiskey now, that person would be forced to move the chair to open the drawer. And the camera, with its infrared setting, would capture the image of the thief even in the dark.
Please R&R