A/N - This is one of the longest chapters so far, it was also the one that I seemed to rewrite the most. This is the part that most of you were waiting for. Jane returns. So what happens when he does... well you have to read to find out. As always if you have any questions and comments please leave them. I'm happy to hear any feed back. If I can't get the next chapter up by Thursday, I would like to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.
Jane was about to give up, maybe he was wrong and the answers he was looking for weren't here at the graves of his wife and daughter, which if true would mean he spent a week looking for answers where they weren't.
Lisbon would be jumping for joy, if she knew that I finally got something wrong. Jane thought with a chuckle.
Jane's heart then started to ache at the thought of Lisbon. He so much wanted to see the petite senior agent, a feeling he hadn't felt since his six month plan to catch Red John a year and a half ago. He knew that he couldn't move on - especially with Lisbon - unless he found out the answers of how he could.
After he left the cemetery Jane drove to his house. When he entered the house it didn't seem as depressive as it did when Red John was alive. It was starting to get late, so Jane decided to sleep at the house. He climbed the stairs to the bedroom that he and his wife had shared, and where Red John had massacred his wife and daughter. The bedroom was exactly as it had been after that faithful night. A single twin mattress sat on the floor against the wall that had Red John's signature blood drawn smiley face in his wife and daughter's blood.
As he sat down on the mattress Jane allowed his thoughts to turn to Lisbon. How he would like to tell her that he loved her and not have to act like he never said it. Before Jane could think of anything else, he fell fast asleep.
Jane woke in a cold sweat the next morning. The reason was that he had been visited by his wife as he had slept. In his dream, because surely that's what it was, Angela had told Jane that - after all the years he had blamed himself for her and their daughter's death - he deserved to be happy. Angela also told Jane that he shouldn't be hiding behind his wedding ring, that it was okay to move on with another woman if that was made him happy.
After Jane had gotten dressed, he then picked up his wedding ring and held it in his hand. Normally he would have placed it on one of his fingers and left, but instead he did something totally out of the ordinary. Jane placed his wedding ring in the inside pocket of his suit jacket. If he wanted a relationship with Lisbon that was more than just friends, he knew that he couldn't continue to wear wedding ring.
Lisbon wasn't kidding when she had told the team that it would take them longer to close cases. It took them a week, just to narrow down the list of prime suspects. The work seemed to be harder and less fun without Jane around.
As the week had progressed the team started to worry about Lisbon, although with Cho's deadpan facial expression you wouldn't think thathe did, because all the senior agent seemed to do since Jane left was stay in her office. She had also kept the blinds closed because she didn't want anyone to see how upset Jane's disappearance made her.
"Cho, take Mister Andrews to the interrogation room" Lisbon said as she and the rest of the team stepped off the elevator with their number one suspect.
After Cho had left with the suspect, Lisbon then turned to Rigsby and Van Pelt. She told the two junior agents to run the suspects bank records and alibi. As the trio of agents neared the bullpen Lisbon caught a whiff of a very familiar smell.
"Hello Lisbon" Jane, who was sitting on the bullpen couch with a cup of tea, when the three agents reached the bullpen.
Lisbon turned towards Jane with a look of relief and anger in her eyes. Relief because he at least seamed to be alright, and anger because he had just up and left without saying anything to her. Almost exactly what he did when he came up with his plan to trap Red John over a year ago.
Rigsby and Van Pelt both said hi to Jane as they made their way to their desks, however Jane didn't seem to notice as he seemed to be staring straight at Lisbon.
The head of the serious crime unit shook her head and walked off to her office without saying a word. After Lisbon had entered her office Jane stood up from the couch, placing his cup of tea down on his desk as he did so, before heading to Lisbon's office.
"What is with the cold shoulder Lisbon?" Jane asked after he walked into the senior agent's office.
"You are not going to treat us like some type of motel, where you can come and go as you please, I'm not going to let that happen" Lisbon replied as she turned around to face Jane, arms crossed across her torso. A look of hurt on her face, which contrasted with the look of relief in her eyes.
"Lisbon, what is the matter?" Jane asked as he studied Lisbon's face for any tell that would point to what the problem was.
Lisbon had planed what she was going to say to Jane when - if - she saw him again, since the day he had left. She planed to really tell the consultant off, but now that he was here - standing right in front of her - she couldn't get the words to come.
Damn it, this would probably be easier if I wasn't in love with him. Lisbon mused to herself as she felt her heart start to race.
"You" Lisbon said almost quietly and with a hint of sadness as she looked away from Jane.
"Me" Jane started to ask as he tried but failed to read the senior agent's face since she had turned it. Though Jane knew that even if he could see her face, she was not lying, "What did I do?"
"Do you know that when you left, it crushed me Jane" Lisbon replied as she looked back at Jane with a look that said she was about to cry.
"You are talking about my six month plan to catch Red John, though I'm sure the same could be said about my latest disappearing act"
Jane could tell by looking at Lisbon's face that he was right. That was the problem with honest people, it was easy to tell what they were thinking. Jane could read the senior agent as easily as if she were a book.
The pair had never really talked about his six month plan to catch Red John, except for what he told her at the church, or the aftermath of it. Neither really seemed to want to talk about it, partly because both were afraid of what would be said. Their friendship had suffered greatly from not only the plan but its aftermath.
Lisbon never liked showing her emotions, it made her feel weak, she hated that the man in front of her had seen her in such a state before; back when she couldn't remember, even under hypnosis, what she did the night William McTier had been killed. So she looked away from Jane again, before she responded.
"When you said 'Love You' to me the night you pretended to shoot me, I-I couldn't believe it. There you were possibly admitting that you may have feelings for me that went beyond just friends." Lisbon started still looking away from Jane, she really didn't want to look at his face at the moment. Jane saw what looked to be a single tear running down Lisbon's cheek. "I had spent the whole way to Vegas wondering what you meant, wondering if you had meant that you had feelings for me that went past just friends, if we could have a relationship once Red John was out of the picture.
"But at the warehouse when I asked you about it, you said you didn't remember what was said, I couldn't believe it. There was no way your memory palace would forget that. Unless and I quote, 'it was useless information'. The thought that you would have seen saying 'Love You' to me, right before I 'died', as useless information stung. Then I thought maybe you had said you hadn't remembered because you thought that somehow Red John would find out, and target me if we didn't catch him, and I was okay with that." Lisbon added as she looked back at Jane. The look of relief in her eyes was replaced with one of hurt, anger, and sadness. It broke Jane's heart to know that he had caused Lisbon this much pain.
"What broke my heart though was finding out that you had made love with Lorelei, who was a disciple of Red John no less." Lisbon, her voice starting to break, said before taking a deep breath, "I had hoped that when you were ready to make love with another woman, it would have been with someone you cared about, who cared about you. Not a woman who was picked, specifically for the purpose, by your archenemy."
"By someone I care about and who cares about me, you mean you. It's alright to admit it Lisbon, I won't tell anyone that you wanted to be the first woman I made love with since my wife" Jane told the senior agent, knowing that if he had made such a remark any time before that moment, Lisbon would have threatened him with violence. Lisbon just looked at Jane in silence. Since there was no quick denial from the brunette agent, it confirmed for Jane that the thought had at least once crossed her mind.
Damn Jackass, Lisbon thought as she looked away from Jane. Annoyed that she had allowed Jane to find out that she had thought about the possibility of the two of them ending up in bed together, even if she hadn't said it outright. Lisbon had first had the thought when they were heading to the warehouse in Vegas, the thought had surprised her but then again she was still in shock that Jane had said 'love you' to her. She even had the thought even after Jane said that he didn't remember what he had said to her before they faked her death. Once she had found out that Jane had made love to Lorelei, who Lisbon had to say looked similar to herself, the thoughts had seemingly stopped. The thoughts however, started to return after Red John's death.
"I told you that I only slept with Lorelei to get Red John to take my breakdown seriously. I never felt anything for her" Jane replied, knowing that he had told Lisbon the same thing before he had interrogated Red John's disciple alone, or he had thought he was alone, after they had caught her. Jane was slightly upset that Lisbon didn't seem to believe him.
"Saying it and meaning it are two different things Jane" Lisbon replied almost quietly and with a hint of sadness, remembering how Jane had kissed Red John's girl during the last interview he had with her.
"Teresa, you really want to know what I meant by what I said before I shot you?" Jane asked knowing that it was time to tell Lisbon how he felt about her.
Lisbon's reply was to turn her head slightly towards Jane. The senior agent remembered the day in question like it had happened yesterday. She had hoped that Jane had meant what he had said.
"This is what I meant" Jane said as he placed a finger under Lisbon's chin, bringing the senior agent's face directly in front of his, before slightly tilting her head back.
"Patrick" Lisbon said softly, her eyes wide open as Jane lowered his mouth to hers.
When their mouths met, Lisbon could feel her heart start to beat faster, and her eyes closed shut. As their kiss deepened the brunette agent wrapped her arms around Jane's neck. Their tongues flicking at each other like they were preparing for a fight, as Jane's hands went to Lisbon's waist, and as their bodies drew closer they could both feel the others heart beat.
Neither of them had wanted the kiss to end, but they both knew that if they didn't get some air they would both die of lack of oxygen. Both felt a touch of sadness when their lips parted, as well as noticing that their were both panting almost heavily.
"Teresa, I love you" Jane said as soon as their lips parted.
"I love you too, Patrick" Lisbon replied, aware that they had both used their first names which was something they rarely ever did, as the pair looked into each others eyes.
Hearing Jane say that he loved her sent Lisbon's head spinning momentarily, she had waited and hoped for this day to come, but never really thought that it would. The brunette then brought her mouth back up to Jane's to resume their kiss.
"Jane" Lisbon murmured as Jane lifted her up and started to carry her towards her desk.
"Patrick" Lisbon murmured after Jane sat her down on her desk, causing some of her belongings near the corner of the desk to be displaced; but luckily nothing went falling to the floor, "We can't do this here"
Jane started to kiss Lisbon's neck which sent a wave of pleasure coursing through her body. Lisbon knew that they shouldn't do this in the office, but a part of her didn't want to stop what they were doing.
"Oh come on Teresa. You can't break the rules just this once?" Jane asked as he laid a kiss on Lisbon's lips.
"Absolutely not" Lisbon replied as both she and Jane caught their breaths.
"I know somewhere we could go" Jane said as a sly smile slid across his face.
Lisbon's eyes went wide as the meaning of what Jane had said sunk in. Her mind was telling her that it wasn't the time nor place to do what Jane was suggesting, but another part of her was telling her to throw caution to the wind and just do it.
"What do you think Jane and Lisbon are talking about?" Van Plet asked her two co workers as she glanced at Lisbon's blind closed office.
"It doesn't sound like Lisbon has shot Jane" Rigsby replied as he glanced up from the file he was reading.
"She could be strangling him" Cho said, neither sounding or looking worried that his boss could be killing Jane as he spoke, as he stared at his computer screen.
"You don't think that Lisbon would actually kill Jane would you?" Van Plet asked, surprised that Cho would think Lisbon capable of causing Jane bodily harm. Sure the red-head thought her boss deserved to give Jane a good punch to the nose, for faking her death over a year and a half ago, but she knew that no matter what had happened Lisbon had still cared for Jane and would never hurt him more than a possible broken nose.
Just after Van Pelt had spoken Jane had emerged from Lisbon's office, appearing not to have been harmed in anyway, though he did look upset. It was the first time the three agents had ever seen him look upset after leaving Lisbon's office. None of the three agents would have never believed what had actually happened between the consultant and senior agent, based on how Jane looked.
"Jane, what is the matter?" Van Pelt asked as Jane approached her desk from outside the bullpen.
"Lisbon said that I couldn't come back" Jane said sadly.
"Oh, I'm sorry Jane" the red-headed agent replied with sadness. Which told Jane that at least she was believing the lie he was telling.
"That's alright Grace, I brought it upon myself, I should have figured that I'd burn all my bridges" Jane started as he stepped into the bullpen and eyed the three agents to see if any of them weren't believing the lie, "I just wanted to say that it was great working with you all"
"What are you going to do Jane?" Rigsby asked.
"I'm going to go back to my motel room and think over my options" Jane replied as he looked around the bullpen, "Well goodbye"
"Bye Jane" the three agents said in unison as Jane put his hands in his suit pockets and left the bullpen.
Jane knew that his lie was flimsy at best, but it wasn't like he was trying to catch a murderer or anything. He knew the plan was full proof, and nothing would go wrong, unless Lisbon couldn't sell her part. Though Jane had confidence that she could.
When Jane reached the area where the elevator and stairs to the upper floors, including his attic hideaway, met he took a step towards the elevator. As he did he looked over his shoulder and when he was sure nobody was watching, pivoted towards the stairs and went up them.
Lisbon exited her office a few minutes after Jane was thought to have left the building. She entered the bullpen and walked to her three agents who were still hard at work trying to solve the case.
"Does anyone know where Jane was going?" Lisbon asked, sounding annoyed even though she wasn't, as she held out Jane's cell phone, "He forgot his cell phone in my office"
"He mentioned that he was going to go to his motel room" Rigsby replied as he looked up from the file he was reading.
"I can call the motel and leave a message to have him come back for it?" Van Pelt asked as she started to reach for the phone on her desk.
"No," Lisbon started, hoping that she didn't sound to eager, as she looked from Rigsby to Van Pelt, "I'll take it to him, there is still something I want to say to that ass"
After telling the three agents to call her if anything came up, Lisbon then left the bullpen in the direction of the elevator.
"Anyone else find Lisbon's reaction to Van Pelt offering to call the motel Jane's staying at a bit odd?" Rigsby asked the other two agents who had shrugged in response.
When Lisbon reached the area of the elevator she checked over her shoulder before turning around and heading up the stairs.
"I was starting to think you weren't going to come" Jane, who had already taken off his suit jacket, said when Lisbon entered the attic. Lisbon had to admit that without the suit jacket, Jane looked a few years younger.
"Oh, and why was that?" Lisbon asked as Jane went to the door and locked it.
"I was afraid that you would chicken out" Jane replied as he turned around to face Lisbon.
"I almost did" Lisbon replied as she thought about how on the way up, she had almost lost her nerve.
"Well that wouldn't have been any fun" Jane said before he placed a kiss on Lisbon's lips.
The brunette agent felt her legs go weak again as their lips met. She then laced her arms around Jane's neck as she started to return the kiss.
Jane then lifted Lisbon up, the brunette wrapping her legs around his waist while her hand started on the top button of the vest, as he brought her over to the makeshift bed her had created three years before.
"Patrick, are you sure this what you call a bed, is safe?" Lisbon mumbled as she finished unbuttoning Jane's vest, which then fell straight to the floor.
"Well there is the cold hard concrete floor" Jane replied as he fumbled with the buttons of Lisbon's dress shirt, wishing that the senior agent had worn a shirt that was easier to get off.
"This thing is probably better" Lisbon started, thinking that the bed was probably better than the floor, "Though if this thing falls apart and I get hurt, I'm going to beat the snot out of you"
"What is with the violence Lisbon" Jane replied as he lay an open mouth kiss on her neck, which caused Lisbon to emit a low moan in return.
After divesting themselves of the rest of their clothes, in what seemed like seconds, Lisbon laid down on the bed with Jane getting on after.
When their bodies met for the first time without clothes on, it sent a sensation of warmth through her body like a slow burn before a raging inferno. The sensation felt so good to her that it drove any nagging thoughts about how they shouldn't be doing what they were in the CBI, out of her mind.
Jane then placed a kiss where her cross necklace would normally rest. The sweet gentle kiss causing her heart rate to pick up. He then started to place kisses down her torso, stopping right before her naval, then retracing his path back up.
A moan escaped Lisbon's lips as she felt Jane's hand brush her bare breast, while he laid a kiss on the brunette's neck. Another moan escaped the senior agent, as Jane rubbed a thumb over her breast, while he continued to kiss her neck.
They looked into each others eyes, chests raising and falling quickly, and saw that neither of them had a look of regret about that they had just done. Both of them just wanted to stay and enjoy what they had just done, but due to the fact that there was no space on the bed; and because of where they were, they couldn't.
Jane almost fell to the floor as he climbed off the bed.
"Are you alright?" Lisbon asked, trying to suppress a giggle, as she sat up, swinging her legs over the side as she did.
"I'm alright" Jane replied as he looked at the still naked Lisbon, the thought of starting another round of love-making with her passing though his mind. His eyes then drawn to the scar near Lisbon's shoulder, that marked where Van Pelt's late fiancé had shot her.
A wave of guilt washing over him, because it was his fault that she had been wounded. Had he not been so wrapped up in wanting to catch Red John, he would have seen what the person that was sent to get Hightower was really up to before it was too late. Maybe, like the others, he didn't want to think that the man Van Pelt was in love with was a Red John disciple. No matter how he looked at it, it was his fault that she had been shot.
Lisbon followed Jane's gaze to her scar. She had a feeling, and the look in his eyes proved it, that Jane blamed himself for her getting shot. They had all wanted to get Red John, they all wanted to exonerate Hightower, and they had all made the same mistake; but Lisbon knew that Jane took what had happened harder than the others. It broke her heart to think that Jane blamed himself for what had happened.
The brunette took Jane's right hand in her left, and brought it to her scar.
"Jane, you weren't at fault for me being shot. You know that right." Lisbon told Jane as she looked into his sad expression.
Jane nodded his head that he understood, but the Senior Agent knew that he was doing it for her benefit. Lisbon then brought her right hand to Jane's cheek.
"I mean it Jane" Lisbon started as she held Jane's gaze, "Cho, Rigsby, and I all saw the same thing you did; and we all came to the conclusion. You have to stop blaming yourself"
If there wasn't a Red John connection to her shooting, then Jane wouldn't be blaming himself. That was unless he was the one that shot her, or had caused the shooter to pull the trigger somehow.
Lisbon removed her and Jane's hand from her scar, leaning forward as she did so to kiss Jane. Just then Lisbon's cell phone started to ring. The brunette then realized that her phone had gone off a few times while Jane and her were making love.
"Crap" Lisbon said after their lips parted.
The brunette lowered her forehead to Jane's chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne, before letting a sign escape her lips. What she wouldn't give for just a few more minutes to be with Jane like this.
"Duty calls" Lisbon said, placing a kiss on Jane's chest before looking up into his eyes, and could tell that he felt the same way she did; they didn't want to part so soon.
"Sheep dip" Jane replied, borrowing one of her phases, which caused a smile to cross both their faces as he allowed Lisbon to hop off the table.
They both threw their clothes on, Lisbon a little more quickly then Jane as she was obviously expected by the team. The senior agent then threw her now messy hair into a bun.
"Ah Lisbon" Jane said as the brunette agent headed to the still locked door.
"Yes Jane?" Lisbon question as she turned around to face the blond consultant.
"You may want to leave the collar of your dress shirt up" Jane replied, getting a quizzical look from Lisbon, "you have a hickey on your neck"
Lisbon started to blush and quickly turned the collar of her dress shirt up, hoping that it would cover the bruise like mark. After Jane unlocked the door, they both left to head back to the Serious Crime Unit's bullpen.
"Cho, where are we with Mister Andrews?" Lisbon asked the Korean agent as she and Jane walked back into the bullpen.
"I was letting him sit on Ice for a while" Cho replied, referring to the police tactic of letting a suspect sit alone in the interrogation room before questioning, as Lisbon picked up the case file and handed it to Jane.
"Good, where are Rigsby and Van Pelt" Lisbon asked, referring to the two junior agents and former lovers.
"They went to follow-up a lead" Cho replied, as he looked at his boss.
"Ok, I'll be in my office" Lisbon said before walking off in the direction of her office.
"So how did you do it?" Cho asked Jane, who was now sitting on the bullpen couch, reading the case file, "How did you get Lisbon to let you back on the team?"
A smirk crossed Jane's face as he recalled what he and Lisbon just did in the attic. Of course Jane wasn't going to tell the truth to Cho, even though Cho wouldn't tell anyone anyway, and since Cho was no fool the lie he is going to tell had to be very believable.
"I told her that if I ever pull another disappearing act without telling her, that she could shoot me on the spot." Jane said as he continued to read the file, " That is if she could find me"
"Yeah right" Cho replied in his usual tone which made it had to tell if he believed what he just heard.
Lisbon opened all the blinds, a smile tugged at her face when she caught a glance of Jane as she did so, in her office promptly after she entered. Sitting down behind her desk the thought of Jane and her making love up in the attic seemed unreal. It felt like it was all a dream.