Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot line. And barely even that.

"Sentence first; verdict afterwards."- Lewis Carroll Alice in Wonderland

That girl was a crazy whirlwind of change. She was a tornado and she didn't even know it. I had hated the thought of her, the sight of her. She was beautiful and I despised her because of it.

Then she told me that she didn't think she was even pretty.

I could relate with her, I had felt the same way. I had been insecure, and I pretended to be a self confident, independent, beautiful young woman. But my insecurity was for purely shallow reasons; I had created an image of myself, born from the sameness of my own reflection over the course of eighteen years. What I saw in the mirror was what I saw every day, and eventually my features had become ugly and plain on the basis that they were mundane.

I thought I was ugly because I was bored with my virtually unchanged complexion.

Bella thought she was ugly because of what she had been told by those who were supposed to see find her beautiful, and she didn't think that this conviction only lived on the surface.

She believed she was disgusting on the inside, too.

I was the Rose, rotting on the inside. But Bella… Bella was the Beautiful Swan. And her wings had been crippled before she even learned how to fly.

I am the Queen and I rule this high school. I have no protesters because everyone loves me. They love my blonde hair and my blue eyes and my hourglass figure. They love my pink petal lips and my perfect teeth and my exotic style in fashion. They love how nice I am and they love the fact that I can be a raving bitch.

They love me smart and they love me dumb; they love me from my toe to my curls to my thumb. Everybody loves me, Rosalie Hale. Everyone adores me, Rose. Everyone wants to be me, perfect and beautiful. They are envious and they feel guilty for being envious because they love me. They all want me, want to be like me, want to be my friend.

Everyone loves me; everyone except for myself.

There is one person in this place that hates me. That person is me. When I look in the mirror I see no Rose. I see Thorn. I am a Thorn. I am no beauty and I am no Rose. I don't live up to this name. My parents named me Rosalie, others named me Rose. I was gifted a name without much meaning then cursed with the burden of beauty. I was a flower in bloom, the pink petals opening up to the sun as I reached my potential. And now I will wilt, because my winter is on its way.

When I heard of Isabella, and when I heard of Bella I was ecstatic. Here, again, was a girl with two titles; two names and two expectations. I want to be Rosalie, she must want to be Isabella. I hate Rose; it is the equivalent to Weed. The counterpart to Thorn. There is no Rose without a Thorn. And I was more Thorn than Rose.

And when Isabella told me she preferred Bella, the name meaning quite literally 'beauty', I began to hate her. Isabella "Bella" Swan: the beautiful and majestic Swan. Not an ugly ducking; a paragon of beauty, grace, and majesty.

I had despised her that day.

-~ C ~-

It all began with the patch of blue and a tinge of red framed by the window.

I was looking outside, at the big beautiful sky, when I heard that small tinny giggle. My lips curled up in a smile at the sound, which was so familiar now after a year. It was Alice; my hero's little sister and my baby brother's soul mate. Alice was a good kind. She knew the ups and the downs and she knew that shit wouldn't always run straight. And I loved her for that.

Alice was carefree and wild. Alice was beautiful and loved. Alice was a real soul, genuine and in mint condition. She was a breath of fresh air and a free spirit. Alice was a Rose. I was a Thorn, am still a Thorn. But I couldn't find it within myself to despise her. She was just too lovable. And so was Emmett, my big teddy bear.

Emmett was amazing. He made me feel like a Rosalie, not a Rose, not Thorn. He was beautiful on the inside and gorgeous on the outside. He was all curly black hair, big white smile, cute child-like dimples, and non-green skinned version of the Hulk. He was big and intimidating at first, but his core was soft as goo and warmer than a cup of cocoa on Christmas Eve. He made me feel like I was loved. He made me feel like I was perfect.

And for that reason alone I will always call him my hero. My soulmate. My one and only true love.

He was my Em, the love of my life.

So the Cullens were pretty fricktastic. Carlisle was super awesome as were his children. Well at least two of his children…

As with all things, the family wasn't perfect. It had one dysfunctional member. His name was Edward.

Or, more politically correct, Edweird.

The child was a head case, basket case, mental case, brown leather case on fucking fire. He had some major brain cells floating in outer space somewhere. And he was kind of an asshole. But I was kind of a bitch. So I couldn't really complain.

Well, he was only ever intentionally an asshole when he was around me. Like his siblings, Edward was gifted with outrageously fine looks. He had the face, the sex hair, the apple green eyes, the killer body, the height, and the crooked smile. He was devastating, to certain girls. Not me, I preferred the Emmett type and Em was exclusive. But Edward was the cream al le crème at FHS. To most girls.

Let's underline, italicize, bold, and capitalize that word. MOST.

Although there were a few exceptions. Like Alice, his twin sister, and I, his mortal enemy.

I would be the first to admit that Edweird was beyond handsome; I would also be the first to admit that he was beyond the norm, hence the Edweird. He had chicks throwing themselves at him left, right, and center twenty-four seven. And I could count the amount of girls he had ever gone out/fooled around with on five fingers. You hear that? Five.

There was Cindy in sixth grade, total slut. She let him touch her barely there boob.

There was Mel in eighth grade. They made out behind the gym bleachers at lunch for about two weeks before Edweird decided that he was bored.

There was Kate in freshman year. On the first day of school she-er-impressed Edweird with her fellatio technique. And quite thoroughly I heard.

Then Victoria and Edward tried to go it in sophomore year. But he dumped her when they hit the twelve day mark and she ended up with James.

And then there was Tanya at the beginning of the summer. Edweird and Tanya had sex when we were in Alaska for a little vacation. No strings attached; just Edweird being seduced by the super whore and losing his virginity. But whatevs, it had to happen sometime right? Edweird was kind of angry about it though.

No, actually, he was livid.

Edweird refused to talk to Tanya after that. He was a little pissed that she had gotten him drunk and then fucked him while he was just barely conscious. He was such a girl; didn't guys usually celebrate when they got together with a hot chick and didn't have to deal with a relationship? I asked Edweird about it and he had very little to say on the subject other than "Tanya's a wretch-worthy witch. Why the fuck would I be happy about having sex with that bloodsucker?" And he was somewhat right. The ho followed him around like a puppy, hoping for a repeat performance. Her whiny, nasally voice haunted us all in our living nightmares after that horrible week was over.

Tanya was pretty gorgeous on the outside and pretty wretch-worthy witchy on the inside. So Edweird had it down pat.

But Edweird was still, well, weird. And he always would be. And I counted on that to be at least one constant in my life.

But no, she had to change him too.

I was looking out the window, hearing Alice giggle like a maniac, and then I heard a slightly husky feminine voice murmuring below the window. Now, I know just about every chick in Forks and I am very good at recognizing voices. But this voice was completely unfamiliar. And so I looked out the window.

And there was the new girl.

She was short, only five foot something I guessed. She had long mahogany hair that sort of fell in waves near the bottom. There were shades of blonde and red in her hair that seemed to peek out and bask in the rare sunlight that was warming her. Her skin was pale, vampire pale, and I could tell that she had dark eyes. Not sure how dark, just dark. She was slender yet curvy, with long looking legs on her short frame, a small torso and waist, decent sized boobs, and arms that hinted at a workout every now and then.

She was beautiful.

And so, I instantly disliked her.

"Hey Alice!" I called out the window, "Who's your new friend?" I hoped she could hear the scathing tone in my voice. I didn't like this girl, and I didn't trust her.

Yeah, I'll admit that I can be a super bitch.

Alice stopped whatever the hell she was doing and stood up, wiping off grass and frowning at me the whole time.

"Rosalie, play nice," she smiled at the bitch next to her, who's face was blank as a slate of stone.

"This is Bella, Esme's niece, remember? She just moved here from Arizona, right Bella?" The girl nodded her brown head. Her pale face looked like it would have stood out in Arizona, if she was from Arizona.

"I thought it was Isabella?" I frowned at her. Why the fuck did she call herself Bella? Didn't that mean beauty or some shit in Italian? Great, she's pompous and self-centered too.

"It was," Bella said, "but I prefer Bella." Her voice was slightly husky and low, a nice enough voice I guess. Which just made me dislike her more.

"Huh, well then Bella, why the fuck are you so pale if you come from Arizona? Isn't everybody over there tan or something?" She smiled at me in what seemed like a condescending way. Bitch.

"Yeah," she replied, "but I'm part albino." She was smirking at me now. I didn't know if she was being truthful or jabbing at my intelligence, but I preferred the latter. I huffed and yelled out one more time to Ali.

"Well don't let her on my lawn; my parents don't especially like trash in the front yard," and I slammed the window closed on Alice's incredulous face and Bella's indifferent one. I was fuming for no apparent reason other than the fact that she was pretty and pale. But that didn't even occur to me as weird at the time; in my mind, it was all completely justified. And so I stomped down the steps and out the back door full to the brim with frustration and temper.

I didn't even feel guilty until later.

But I didn't go out of my way to see Alice either.

So I took a roundabout way to the Cullen's who only lived a few streets down. I didn't knock or ring the big ass door bell, I just waltzed through the door and into the front room.

"Emmett!" I screamed to the house and general and was answered with a resounding crash from upstairs. I heard footsteps come down the stairs which sounded too light to be Emmett's, and voila, Edweird appeared.

"What do you want Edweird," he grimaced. I smirked.

"Nothing Rose. And I was here first seeing as it is my home. So I am under the impression that it is you who wants something and not I. Pray tell, Bitchalie." I rolled my eyes skyward and huffed. Edweird sauntered into the room and plopped down on the floor. Not the chair, because that would be too convenient. Nope, he just sat down on the hardwood floor.

"What do ya think, you moron? I want to see Emmett. Thus my screaming his name up the stairs," Edweird smirked at me and then grimaced again.

"Please don't say Emmett and screaming his name in the same sentence please. There's only so much I can handle," I sneered at him. Poor little pussy afraid of little old sexual references that involved his brother and arch nemesis? Awww.

Yeah. Fuck him.

"Get over it. We have sex and I continually scream his name during. Grow up a little, Edweird. Go get a girlfriend or something, I don't know! Just stop being so weird all the time about it. Jeesh," I slapped my hand over my mouth at that word. Rosalie Hale does not say 'Jeesh'. That word is for losers and geezers, not for people like me. Edweird's smirk verified that he had heard the dreaded word come from my mouth, but he decided not to comment.

Smart idea. He knew how I got about Wooser Words

"Back to the point Hale. Why do you want to see Emmett? I mean, usually you just make him go over to your house, you rarely ever move your own ass over here. Unless, of course, something has happened and/or you need to get out of the house. So what's up Bitchalie? And you have to tell me or I'll definitely maybe mention that you have used a 'Wooser Word.'" I bared my teeth at him. He grinned.

Prick.

But he had a point; I usually had Em come to me. Because Rosalie didn't fetch; she was the one whipping the damn tennis ball into the nearby woods. I stuck my tongue out childishly at Edweird as he sat happily on his hard as rock floor. Then I sighed.

"Well, I looked out the window and saw Alice across the street with some random chick. And then I found out that this chick was Isabella, you know, Esme's niece? But she prefers to be called Bella. Since Isabella is too plain. And I wanted to escape her annoying voice outside my window so I came over here." Not completely the truth, but whatever. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. I looked down expecting to see Edweird still on the floor but he was gone.

What the fuck?

"Edweird?" I called it out to a seemingly empty house and was answered by a door shutting closed. Fuck, that little bitch was off to see the new girl! And I still needed to know where Emmett was!

Fucking Edweird. He always messes shit up.

I stomped out the front door after the idiot and saw a flash of his unusual bronze hair disappearing over the fence. Goddamn idiot! I could see him rushing over fences, through yards, taking the supposed 'shortcut.' I am not taking any shortcut that involves jumping fences. Fuck that.

So I ran around the fences.

By the time I got back to my house, which was about eight minutes later, I was huffing and puffing. But not a hair was out of place and my makeup was flawless (I'd checked with my handy-dandy pocket mirror) so huffing and puffing was acceptable. I saw Edweird crouching by the side of my house, peering around the front towards where I could still hear Alice giggling. I was just about to yell out something but then I got closer.

And witnessed a miracle.

Edweird was staring at the Swan girl. And he wasn't staring at her like she was weird or like she was ugly or like she was just some bumbling idiot who managed to fascinate him with their awkwardness.

Nope. Edweird was staring at the Swan girl like he wanted to eat her.

Haha, this was going to be interesting.

"Hey, loverboy," I whispered towards the dazzled dumbass. He started and spun around, a look of surprise and trepidation on his face which was carefully wiped away. But that longing glint was still in his eyes. I grinned.

"Do you think the Swan girl is puuuurdy Edweird? Do you have a crush on Bella-wella? Do you luuurve her?" I was cracking up silently as I watched the mask stay in place. And then he blushed. I gasped and giggled again.

"You do! You do!" I crowed, "Oh, Emmett and Alice are going to have a field day with this one!" and then before I could say another word Edweird was all up in my grill. I was about to tell him to back off but then I saw his eyes.

You know how they say that the sky turns kind of greenish right before a tornado? Like, it resembles a Sprite can before you get ripped to shreds by 175 mph winds? Well yeah. Edweird's eyes reminded me of that furious storm. That waiting sky and angry green.

Because his tornado sky irises were pissed off.

"You breathe one word of this to anyone," he seethed, "and I'll show them the Picture. I'll do it, I swear to all cracker products in existence, I will." Oh shit, he was serious. Edweird doesn't break his promises, especially not if he's willing to swear on crackers. Edweird loves crackers.

As if to prove my point, he pulled out a few Ritz, popped them in his mouth, and then pulled out it.

The Picture.

Its existence was the work of deviousness on his part and plain bad luck on my part.

I had been staying over at the Cullen's a few weeks after Emmett and I had started going out and we were – uh- a little busy the night before. So when I went down into the kitchen to get some coffee in order to rejuvenate, I was too tired to do any primping. In short, I was a mess.

Greasy, sweaty, stringy hair, big purple bags under my eyes. No makeup which meant uneven skin tone, chapped colorless lips, white pallid cheeks, and clumpy, pale-blond eyelashes. My eyes were crusty with exhaustion, I smelled and looked like stale-sex plus sweat, and I was wearing baggy Emmett clothes which I had found lying around somewhere. Then, just as I reached the stairs, I smelled peppermint. I hated peppermint. It made me sneeze.

A fact Edweird knew all too well.

So I stood at the top of the stairs, gross ugly clothes, hair, and face, poised for the messiest sneeze of my life. I was too lazy to even cover my nose prettily; I figured there would be no one around to care.

It was six AM, after all.

I was dead wrong.

Just as the first snot flew from my nose, just as my lids reflexively closed over my lovely blue eyes, just as my face contorted quite unflatteringly, there was a flash. I saw the red behind my lids and heard the click of the camera button.

Then I heard a chuckle. It soon turned into a very familiar guffaw. I opened my eyes, and lo and behold, Edweird was standing at the bottom of the steps, camera in hand, big ass peppermint sticks in the other, and a cat-ate-the-canary grin on his loathsome face. The captured moment in time was extraordinarily grotesque and potentially status-threatening. I looked like a bum, a mental patient, a…Thorn. And he knew it.

So, even though I had tried time and again to destroy it, the Picture had survived. Edweird had uploaded it and made copies, hid them in various places (and probably even countries), and maybe even put a few in the bank. The only people who knew of its (or their) existence were Edweird and I. I was aiming to keep it that way.

He told me after countless chasing, hackling, throwing heavy objects, and shrieking, that it was a piece of potential blackmail. He knew that I was obsessed with my image and the way people perceived my beauty and he decided to use that insecurity against me. So he thought ahead, and knowing that eventually a moment would arise in which I would have the upper hand, he planned out the process. He got the peppermint, picked the exact location, circumstances and time, and he got the Picture. The blackmail.

His ace in the hole.

My fucking nightmare.

He'd only once ever needed the Picture before, when he begged me not to tell anyone about his encounter with the succubus, a.k.a. Tanya, and it had worked out pretty well. I agreed with ease, figuring Tanya wouldn't be able to keep her whore mouth shut, and I was right. So I had won that round; everyone knew about their little escapade. With a lot more detail than any of us had ever needed to know. Even Dr. Cullen.

But I didn't see any way to gain the upper hand in this one. Unless…

I just don't tell anyone and still antagonize him on a daily basis by myself. Which works out just fine for me. At least I get to see him squirm.

"Whatever," I hissed half-heartedly, "like I would waste my time talking about you when I have so much more important things to do." He smirked and sighed in relief.

"Like fucking your brother." He groaned and his eye twitched in disgust. I laughed.

"Shut up," he put his hands over his ears and turned back towards the street. I leaned around him and observed as the Swan girl and Alice sat in the grass, talking about something or other. I turned to look at Edweird.

His eyes were fucking starry. And glazed over. He had stars in his eyes, stars!

Mayday, mayday! We have a serious motherfucking situation here Captain!

I looked from Bella to Edweird and then back again. If things turned out the way he obviously wanted, and if I was able to help in some way, then maybe we could erase the existence of the picture.

And my reputation wouldn't be threatened.

The way I saw it, this could be a win-win situation.

Edweird's hands fell slowly to his sides as he continued to stare at the Swan girl in a stupor. I giggled at him; he actually looked pretty freakin' adorable as he mooned over her. I couldn't believe I was saying it, but things were starting to look pretty good.

Edweird was looking a little less weird, I was being presented with an opportunity to get rid of the Picture, and Isabella Swan was looking a little less… bitchtastic.

"Your secret's safe with me Edweird," he just nodded at me dazedly, like he was in a dream. And he didn't once take his eyes off Bella or go out into her line of sight.

"Where's Emmett?" he shook his head slowly.

"Football," he mumbled. I smiled. Good. Nobody to interfere then.

"Hey, Edweird, stop crouching. Stand up straight. I want to check something," he followed my instructions, too love drunk to be suspicious.

"Move over a little bit," he did as I asked and I lined him up. And then I pushed him out from behind the house with all my strength. Edweird went tumbling head over heels into the front yard, at least fifteen feet away from the original point.

Yeah, I can push hard.

"Hey! Alice! Look who wants to meet you!" I screamed it out at the top of my lungs and then disappeared into the house. I ran up the stairs, into my room, and peeked out the window at an awkward, nervous Edweird, an excited Alice, and an Isabella Swan who was very obviously attempting to look indifferent.

While all the time staring at Edweird with an expression akin to awe.

Oh yeah, Operation Overlord has begun!

Music: When I'm Small- Phantogram

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