Chapter Three: Hidden Feelings

Willow stared at the familiar figure on the bed, feeling the pain and confusion of the past. It had hurt to lose Tara, and now when her life had changed so much, Tara was back. She didn't know how to deal with that, didn't know how to accept it. With Tara back, her heart was once again going to be at risk. The blond never had to try to get to her. She was the one who healed her after Oz had left, the one who had opened her heart to love. She was also the one who ripped Willow's heart out once more. Losing Tara then had been painful, worse than Oz leaving her, but Oz had helped her through it, held her when she cried. Now it seemed like time had reversed for her once more. Tara would once again be here with her, but this time she was helping Tara.

Willow closed her eyes and took a cleansing breath as she took the seat next to Tara's sleeping form. Buffy and her partner had left earlier after a long argument about Tara's safety. It had taken a while for him to agree with them, too agree to Willow taking care of Tara.

As Willow stared at Tara's peaceful face, she felt her heart break once more, remembering her love for the witch. She remembered the pain of going to see Tara, just to receive the goodbye note. It hadn't just hurt; it had nearly destroyed her. Now here she was once more with Tara and the blond wouldn't know who she is. She wasn't going to remember anything about her, or the love they once shared.

A tear slid silently down Willow's cheek as she felt the pain of that loss once more. She quickly wiped the tear from her cheek as she tried to regain control of her emotions. While Willow struggled with her tears, she saw Tara slowly start to wake. When the blue eyes fluttered open, Willow watched the eyes slip over the room before looking at Willow.

"Who are you?" she asked, whispering the words in confusion.

Willow gave Tara a shy smile and leaned towards her a little. "I'm Willow. We were...close in college."

Tara looked at her confused. "Close?" she asked. "Like friends?"

Willow nodded. "Yeah. We were friends," Willow said, looking at Tara with a sad look in her eyes.

"What happened?" Tara asked, noticing the past tense wording.

"You left," Willow responded, not bothering to give more of an explanation.

Tara frowned at the words but didn't question her any further. She could tell it was still a sore subject for the beautiful redhead beside her. "I'm sorry," Tara responded after a moment of silence.

Willow turned to look into the familiar blue eyes and gave her a soft smile. "You're apologizing for something you don't remember doing?" Willow asked.

Tara just nodded. "I hurt you by leaving. I'm sorry I did."

Willow shrugged. "It's okay."

Seeing the pain still clear on Willow's face, Tara reached out and touched her hand gently. "I'm sorry I hurt you," she said again, hoping to make the redhead understand that she hated hurting her.

Willow nodded. "It's fine," she said, looking away.

Tara frowned, but let it go, still seeing the pain in her eyes. She looked down at where their hands were still touching and frowned. When they touched, she was surprised to feel the spark that went through her when her hand touched Willow's. It wasn't something she would forget lightly, and yet she couldn't remember it. She couldn't remember the touch.

Feeling the familiar sensation caused by Tara's touch, Willow eased her hand away, unable to deal with what the blond's touch seemed to do to her.

"Sorry," Tara said, snatching her hand back as soon as she felt Willow start pulling away. Tucking her hand under her arm, Tara tried to control herself. She didn't remember the woman next to her. Didn't remember her touch, but something about her drew her to the redhead. "I'm sorry," she whispered again, feeling somewhat rejected.

Willow, noticing the expression on the blond's face frowned. "No. I'm sorry. It was my fault. I just...Its just weird seeing you after all this time. It's been years, Tara. You don't remember who I was, and even if you did, you don't know the person I've become," Willow said, looking into the blond's eyes.

Tara nodded, unsure why she felt so hurt by the words. The redhead was right. She didn't know Willow, not the one she supposably use to know, and not the woman that the redhead had become.

"You're right," Tara whispered. "I don't. I'm sorry," Tara said, looking away from the unfamiliar redhead.

A few days had past and Willow continued to make time to see Tara while she was in the hospital. Though they didn't say much to one another, Tara was getting use to Willow's company. When Willow came in one day with a box of pictures of the two of them, she felt her heart break once more at the happiness that was clear in her face.

She could see that she was happy being around the redhead, maybe it was because of the feelings she felt towards the girl, but she couldn't be sure since she didn't know what she felt before with the redhead. Tara watched the other girl smile at some secret memory when she looked at a picture of the two of them hugging each other in a dorm room. She couldn't stop her heart from fluttering at the secret smile, and it made her feel as though her heart was melting.

Being around Willow made Tara feel whole, it wasn't something she understood. She didn't think she ever would understand her feelings for the girl beside her. Willow had said they were friends, just close friends, and the redhead didn't seem like she was going to hide something from her. Tara hated not knowing how she felt about the redhead before. She hated not knowing what the redhead was feeling, what the redhead knew.

After the day passed by quickly, Tara watched Willow walk from the room and frowned as one thought came to mind as the redhead disappeared through the door.

"I love you."

A/N: It's short, I know. I was having a slight case of writer's block. Next chapter hopefully will be better. Please review. It helps when I get reviews.