School has started, so naturally my schedule will become packed. I'll try to update as often as I can.

On with the fic!

The Darkness of My Bloody Soul

Roxas slouched along the streets of The World That Never Was, his hood pulled over his head. He was feeling particularly angsty today, and decided a walk in the city's perpetual rain showers would ease his troubled soul.

Either that, or make him catch pneumonia.

Roxas stopped against a wall, feeling overwhelmed by angst. He lowered his hood and stared up into the heavens, looking for some sort of salvation.

He quickly lowered his face, rubbing his eyes furiously. Roxas reflected that it wasn't the best idea to look directly into a pouring rainstorm.

Blinking his red, burning eyes, Roxas finally decided he'd had enough. Summoning his Keyblades, he began stabbing himself furiously, trying to end the pain.

"How is this taking so long?" Roxas shrieked in frustration, having stabbed nearly every vital organ he could think of. "I should be dead by now! It's almost like some unnamed power is uncreatively lengthening my suicide until a specific point!"

Just then, Axel appeared from around the corner. "Roxas!" he proclaimed dramatically. "Stop! You Can't Do This To Yourself!"

"What's with the capitals?" Roxas asked, sliding both Oathkeeper and Oblivion into his chest.

"I dunno, I just thought this scene needed more drama," Axel said, shrugging.

He promptly snapped back into character, running toward Roxas in slow motion with a horrified look on his face.

He slipped on a puddle and fell over, proving you should never run in dramatic slow motion on a rain-slicked street.

"Screw this," Axel growled, getting to his feet. "I'm running normally, dammit!"

He ran up to Roxas in ordinary, normal motion, grabbing the Keyblades from his friends' hands. "No, Roxas!" he gasped. "You Can't Kill Yourself! Not Now!"

"Okay, seriously," Roxas grunted, trying to pull the Keyblades away from Axel's grasp. "The capitals are getting annoying."

"You Can't Leave Me!" Axel continued, acting as though Roxas hadn't spoken. "Because…I Love You!"

"Oh, Axel!" Roxas squealed in a very out-of-character way, pulling the Keyblades from his body with a sickening squelch. "I love you too! Come to me, you sexy sexy man!"

The two embraced and kissed passionately.

"Wait a minute, I didn't write some of that! It's like someone took my angst fic and made a parody of it! Well, it didn't work! It's not even funny!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…(snort)…(splutter)…I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"…Forget it."

"So, this was your fic? At least, the basic plot?"

"Yeah."

"There's a lot wrong with it."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"First off, would you mind telling me why you made an Axel/Roxas angst fic in the first place?"

"Well, Roxas angsts a lot in KH2, so he's obviously prone to do that often. And we all know that when someone angsts often, they start trying to kill themselves. I figured Axel saving him from suicide would be the perfect setup to hot sex!"

"You do realize Roxas had a genuine reason for his angst, and that said angst may not be something habitual?"

"…Really?"

"You never considered it, did you? That's just like your type. You see one thing a character does often and assume their entire personality is based off it. Of course it's immediately off to the computer for you, happily writing fics that portray that character as a lifeless one-dimensional shell. You never even take the time to really understand the character, assuming you know them inside and out. That's how all these angst fics start. One character is seen as depressed and preoccupied and writers automatically assume they're emo."

"Well, aren't they emo?"

"No! In fact, emo is nothing but a contemptuous stereotype. No one is emo, they're just seen that way by the arrogant and biased. The term 'emo' is insulting and hurtful to depressed people in general. People get depressed! People get sad! And it's often for good reasons! Calling a depressed person a pathetic, wanna-be goth who's nothing more than an unpopular loser is just about the worst thing you can do to them!"

"Well, maybe calling characters emo is a little harsh. But just think of the synergy of angsty yaoi! Passion emerges out of depression! It's poetry!"

"It's desperation, that's what it is. You're trying to think of a quick way to get to your precious sex, and you hit upon the "saving from suicide" chestnut. You proceed to type out your story, drowning it in dark, angsty prose. You then post it on Fanfiction, thinking how original you are. Which you would be if SEVEN MILLION other authors hadn't already used that idea before you. It's not even confined to Kingdom Hearts! I've seen hundreds of stories with this exact plot, spread across multiple franchises! I swear, it's a sickness!"

"What's wrong with a little repetition? Surely you like fresh takes on a story?"

"Of course I do. Variety is the spice of life. These fics, however, are anything but varied. When I said the exact same plot was in every story, I meant it. You could switch out the names and all of them would be entirely the same. And that's really bad. I have no respect for 'pseudo-fanfics' such as these."

"Should all angst really be different? Don't people generally get depressed the same way?"

"Not the EXACT same way. That's the point. Depression varies from person to person. If you write angst based off of generalities and stereotypes of how depressed people act, it's going to end up as cliché, unoriginal, and making light of depression."

"Oh."

"Why are you making such tortured angst about Kingdom Hearts, anyway? It's a very childish game, filled with Disney icons to boot. It's hardly an appropriate choice. Sure, the second game was noticeably more darker and mature, but not by that much. I also don't understand why there's so much angst about Organization XIII."

"Why not? They're interesting characters to use!"

"Hello? Nobodies? Having no hearts? Having no emotion whatsoever? Rendering the whole point of angst useless?"

"But…but…the Organization can angst! I've seen them do it in cutscenes!"

"The Organization explained that themselves: they're merely using memories and automatic responses as substitutes for emotion. They're nothing but actors; acting out emotions as if life is one big play. If they truly displayed no emotion, they'd all be like Saix, cold, indifferent, and almost personality-less. Square knows that thirteen emotionless shells are boring to watch, so they gave the Organization hints of emotion to establish their personalities. But, of course, in their haste to start their romance fics, fangirls completely forget this crucial piece of canon. I've seen actual, genuine emotion displayed by Organization members in many a fic, not to mention how many times the word "love" is used. It makes me wonder: are these writers really fans of the Organization, or merely fans of them hooking up?"

"Okay, okay. I yield. You win. Let's just move on already."

"To what?"

"My Kairi bashing oneshot!"

"Oh, balls.."

Okay, I'm going to move on to specfic pairings soon. Are there any other general types of bad yaoi I've missed?

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