Disclaimer: I own nothing and no profit is being made. All characters here belong to MARVEL.

So this chapter is going to be done a little differently. Most of it is going to be told from Peter's point of view. I just thought I would mix it up a little. Hope you enjoy…

"I can't do this…"

I can barely breathe as I look out over the sea of people gathered here at Arlington National Cemetery. Up until this moment, it was all just a bad dream to me. He wasn't gone. He was fine and this wasn't happening. But as I glance back to the podium where Sam Wilson, the falcon, is wraping up his speech I can feel my stomach drop. I really can't do this.

Sam's resuming his seat next to me before I know it, "Tony, you have to go up…" he says to me after I refuse to move from my spot. I nod, gripping the cards in my hand tightly as I force myself out of my chair and slowly start what seems like a million mile walk to the podium. All is quiet as everyone stares at me and I quickly have to look away.

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out as I start to shake with the effort of not just completely breaking down right here. I have about 15 cards worth of kind words written here. Stories of fun times and kind things about my friend but I can't bring myself to read the words on the cards. When I do finally manage to speak, all I can say is what is running through my head, "It wasn't---It wasn't supposed to be like this…"

I break. First May and now Steve? I can't even try to control it anymore and I quickly step back from the microphones and look for my escape rout as tears stream down my face…

Five hours later. The Secret Wake:

(Peter's POV)

"Liked what you said up there, Sam…Wish I coulda said a few words myself."

"I know, I'm sorry about that, Luke. It didn't feel right, not having you all there, at the funeral…at the wake afterwards."

"Damn, ain't nothing' about this feels right."

I sigh and let my head fall back against the wall behind me as I listen to Luke Cage and The Falcon talk about Steve Roger's funeral. In the days since I last saw Tony the world seemed to fall apart all over again. Captain America was dead. Luke was right there was nothing right about any of this.

"I told Tony and his people to give me Harlem and leave me the hell alone. With all that's happened I think he just might…" I begin my eaves dropping again when I hear Tony's name brought up by Falcon.

"You see him at the funeral? Couldn't believe that.."

"It was weird."

I roll my eyes at Luke and Falcon. Everyone is acting like they can't believe what Tony did at the funeral. What's so hard to believe? They were close friends, allies through more battles than I can even probably remember. So why was it weird?

"Yeah, I actually almost felt sorry for him for a minute," Iron fist adds, "But then I remembered he sent me to the Negative Zone. "

I watch as Falcon nods in understanding, "I've got no love for the man right now myself, but he didn't kill Cap."

"He put him in front of the bullets…whether he meant to or not," I hear Luke respond, "Cap lost heart after their face-off…or he'd have never taken a hit like that."

Finally, I find my voice, "No…" I drop down from my perch on the wall and make my way over to the others, "I've been over the footage a thousand times. Cap pushes a cop out of the way of a bullet--saves him--and that's the fist shot. Then the crowd goes nuts and the rest of the shooting starts,"

" He hadn't lost anything, he was still a hero right to the end. After all, S.H.E.I.L.D. had him in those damn Strength- Dampening restraints. It probably took all he had to get up those stair, let alone be able to react the way he did and save the officer…"

The three of them just stare at me for a ling while. I guess me somewhat defending Tony comes as a shock. Do I still think he is a tool? Yes. But what he did four days ago proved to me that the old Tony was still in there. If it wasn't for him, Aunt May would be dying in a Charity Ward instead of getting treatments. I don't really care what they think, yet at the same time I am grateful when Jessica pipes up, pointing out that the bottle of wine we had wasn't going to drink itself.

I remain silent as we make our way over to the table where she has set up the glasses. I grab the fist glass I can and as I study the contents I come to the conclusion that I should go see him. After all, he did tell me to get in contact with him and I have the feeling Pepper isn't going to be able to handle this one all on her own.

Sam raises his glass, "To Steve Rogers…The best of us…"

"The best of us," I chime in with the others before draining my glass, " Well, I know you are going to miss me terribly, but I need to get back to the Hospital."

Luke looks at me sarcastically for a minute, "How is your aunt doing, Pete?" he asks, sarcasm gone replaced by concern.

"Still the same," I manage to get out without my voice breaking. I had hoped that with Tony's funding the doctors could have figured out a way to help her by now. I can't bring myself to say anymore as I turn from them and make my way over to the window, "I will be back as soon as I can." With that I pull my mask over my head and take my leave.

It's raining so hard as I swing through the city and towards Stark Tower that I can barely see at times. It seems like it has taken me twice as long to get here as I drop down onto the balcony of Tony's living quarters. I can't help but to look around myself as I peer through the sliding glass doors hoping he is up here and not down in the shop. I can't see him, but Pepper is seated on the couch watching some show and I knock hard on the glass so she can hear me over all the noise of the TV and rain. She turns and jumps up from her seat when she spots me standing there, "What are you doing here?" I see her mouth as she slowly approaches the doors.

"Pepper let me in! I want to talk to him…"

She's looking nervously at me through the few inches of glass separating us for a while before I hear the lock click and the door open a few inches, "Are you…why are you in that costume?"

I look down at myself and realize that maybe she seems so nervous because I am in my old symbiote colored costume that The Black Cat had made for me. The one I only pulled out on special occasions to show the gloves were off. She didn't know this though. Few did. But all knew I wasn't Mr. Nice-guy when I went to back to black, "It's cloth, Pepper, I haven't gone to the dark side again…though they do have some damn good cookies,"

Lame I know. But it seemed to do the trick and I am more than happy to be out of the rain. Wonder how Tony's gonna like the giant puddle on his expensive floors…

"Why are you here, Peter?" She's like a mother hen as she wraps a blanket from the couch around me. Before I can even answer she is running from the room and I can hear her rummaging for a second before she returns with a towel, "This is so dangerous…"

"Yeah, well I guess you should know about doing things that are dangerous. Like giving me a check for Two and a half million from your account…Thank you, Pepper."

She smiles sadly at me from over her shoulder as she turns the TV off, "It's the least I could do. I was so sorry to hear about May, Peter. We both were I've never seen Tony so upset,"

"Before today that is," I reply, "I really came here to see how he was doing after the funeral. The news won't stop showing it," she is standing in front of me again and I hand the towel back once I am finished drying my face and hair, "Where is he?"

"I don't know he never came back from the funeral. He called when his plane got back to New York but I haven't heard from him since…"

Crap. Tonight isn't exactly the best night for Tony to be wandering the streets of New York with the new amount of mourning, pissed off Cap supporters out there. Plus, If I find him at a bar I am going to have to kill him myself.

"I'll find him," I hand the blanket back to Pepper as well, who looks worried beyond belief, "Don't worry, Pepper, he's fine I know it."

"I hope you're right."

She's staring at the floor and it's then I realize how badly she is shaking and even though I am soaked I step forward and embracer her, "I'm scared," she confess quietly as she wraps her arms around my torso, " What if he isn't ok? He's all I have, Peter, I can't lose him too…"

"Shh, don't do this to yourself. I'll find him ok I promise…and I know things are a little strained right now, but MJ and I will always be here for you too, Pepper."

"I know," She pulls back from me then, wiping her eyes, "I just wish things could go back to the way they were. When we…"

She stops, seeming to be at a loss for words, "When we were all a family?" I ask quietly. She only nods in response, "I do too. And maybe one day, we will be…"

Pepper locks eyes with me and I try to give her my most reassuring smile before I pull my mask back on, "We'll be back soon," I turn then and make my way back into the rain.

Honestly, I hate leaving her like this but I hate leaving Tony out there alone even more. Extremis suit or no any whack job blaming him for Cap's death could find him. But where do I start the search? Where would Tony go…

I drop down inside the wrecked gates of the old Avengers Mansion. It's a sad thing to see this place destroyed, and it's the only place I can think of Tony going if he wanted to get all nostalgic over Steve. I quietly make my way through the yard and stop to peer through the ajar front doors. I can't see if anyone is inside from this angle so I carefully push the door further open. As I step inside I find myself wishing for a flashlight as I pick my way through the wreckage.

Once I turn the corner to what used to be the old meeting room I find him. He's sitting on a desk in the room, his back to me, staring at a picture on the wall across from him. His clothes look just as soaked as mine and I wonder if he had been wandering the streets for a while. I clear my throat and he visibly stiffens, obviously too deep in though and caught off guard,

"Tony?"