Identity

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games

Chapter 4: Nightmares

A/N: Hey everyone! I hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

Peeta's POV:

I feel myself grow more and more frustrated as the days go on and there is no news about my identity. Dr. Aurelius came back and told me one day that there was no match for my fingerprints in AFIS, which is actually kind of good, because it means I'm not a registered criminal.

Still, I don't exactly know what to do with myself anymore. When the doctor comes in the next day, I really hope he has some good news for me.

"Hey Peeta, how are you feeling?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I'm okay; do you have any news for me?"

"The police have put out a statewide search for anyone who has information on your identity. Your picture and basic stats will be posted on local news stations across the state. I'm sure that somebody will see it and be able to identify you."

I nod at the doctor, sincerely hoping that he is correct. It feels so strange to know nothing about myself or my past. I don't know my last name, my age, my occupation, my family members; I don't know anything.

I feel so alone. The only ray of sunshine in my life is my angel Katniss. She will always be my angel because she gives me hope, even in my darkest hours. She is the only thing I remembered before waking up from a coma, and the first beautiful sight I laid eyes on when I awoke.

Dr. Aurelius pats my hand awkwardly. "Don't worry Peeta, I'm sure we will have this all figured out soon."

I only wish I felt so sure…

After the doctor leaves, I wait impatiently for Katniss to arrive. It is still early, and she usually doesn't come in until nine in the morning on most days. I can't wait to see her. Even when I feel at my absolute worse, she always seems to be able to put a smile on my face.

Some of the other nurses are nice too, but none of them compare to my angel. Maybe she just pities me because of what happened, but that doesn't seem like something she would do. She seems too genuine for that.

When it is a couple minutes after nine, I hear footsteps outside of my doorway. I run my fingers through my hair and sit up in my bed, making myself as presentable as possible for Katniss.

And then, Johanna walks into the room. Disappointment rushes over me in waves. I know that Katniss has days off of work, but I was sure that she told me she was working today and I was really looking forward to seeing her.

Johanna's spiky hair comes into view as she flips on the lights. "Hey Peeta."

"Where's Katniss?"

She scowls at me as she checks the equipment surrounding me. "Oh? Am I not good enough for you or something?"

I glare angrily at her. She is very sarcastic at times and I am not in the mood to deal with her antics. "She said she was working today."

"She switched shifts with me. She will be here in the afternoon, don't get your panties in a twist."

I should be angry at what she just said to me, but I find that I can't be, not when I know that Katniss will be here later in the day after all. "Are you two friends?"

Johanna raises a dark brow at me and crosses her arms across her chest. "Yeah, we are. Why do you ask?"

I want to know more about Katniss. I want to know about her life, her past, her family…everything. We have only made small talk so far, since I couldn't exactly tell her anything about me. I know a little bit about her, but I want to know more, much more. "Can you tell me about her?"

Her eyes narrow and before I can say anything else, she closes the door to my room and gets on my bed to straddle me. Her index finger points angrily at my face as she speaks. "Now, listen here, amnesia boy, I don't know what your deal is, but I'm not sure I like the fact that you are obsessing over my friend. Give me one good reason why I should tell you anything about Katniss."

I push her finger away from my face. "Get off of me."

She does as I ask, but then taps her foot impatiently on the floor. "Well, what is your reason?"

I search my mind for a reason that Johanna would deem acceptable. "Umm…I'm really not trying to be a creeper or anything; I just want to get to know her better. She seems like such a great person, and she is the one who gave me hope in the first place. I don't know…I feel connected to her in some strange sense."

Johanna sighs and then pulls up a chair next to me. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

I ask her everything I can think of, and what I find out makes me like Katniss even more. Her favorite color is green, she likes archery and singing, her mother is also a nurse and her sister is in a pre-med program at college, she hasn't had much luck in relationships and is currently single. Johanna rounds out her information by stating that if I hurt Katniss, she will rip my balls off and feed them to me. I believe her.

Cakes. I am surrounded by cakes. Birthday cakes, wedding cakes, graduation cakes, you name it, and they are here. The cakes are beautiful with spun sugar and colored frosting conforming into flowers and other decorations. The wedding cakes are extravagant, tiers and tiers of white icing and fondant, edible sugar pearls, and intricate designs adorn these cakes.

And suddenly, I'm angry, very angry. I take my fist and smash it through the cakes, one by one. I destroy them all, cake, filling, and icing exploding throughout the room. There is only one left, a tall, seven tiered wedding cake. It is the most beautiful cake I have ever seen, patterns of sugar lace and swirls decorate the edges and a hint of pink roses adorns each layer.

As much as I admire the hard work that must have gone into making and decorating this cake, I want to destroy it. I have to destroy it. The sight of it fills me with so much rage and anger. I walk over to it and swipe my finger across the frosting, marring its perfection. It tastes so sweet, sickly sweet, and after that first taste, I knock over the cake. I stomp it into the ground until it is nothing more than a huge mess on the floor. Only then am I satisfied.

I blink and I am in a different room. It is so dark that I cannot see a thing at first, so dark and cold that I am instantly uneasy. That's when the rain starts, but it isn't normal rain, it's not water that starts to fall around me. It's diamonds, hundreds and thousands of little diamonds. They look so beautiful, sparkling as they fall around me. But then, they begin to cut my skin. The sharp edges of the gems scrap and cut my arms, legs, and face. The glittering diamonds continue to fall, lacerating my body. My blood begins to drip from my body and I scream.

I wake up with a cry falling from my lips. Katniss is there next to me, her hand on my shoulder. Her gray eyes are worried and she bites down on her lip. "Peeta? Are you okay?"

I shudder as the dreams come back to me. "I had a nightmare, two actually."

Katniss sits down next to me and takes my hand into her own. Her skin is warm and the contact causes tingles to radiate throughout my body. "Do you want to tell me about them?"

I don't really want to recall the details of my dreams, but I feel like sharing them would help me become closer to Katniss, so I do. "In one dream I was destroying cakes and in the other diamonds were falling down on me and cutting open my skin."

She gasps and grips my hand tighter. "Oh Peeta, that sounds terrible. I wonder where such disturbing dreams like that could come from. Maybe they have something to do with your life and it is your mind's subconscious way of telling you something."

I nod, what she is saying makes sense, but what could destroying cakes and diamonds cutting me have to do with the life I can't seem to remember? "You might be right, but if my life is being reflected in nightmares, maybe I don't want to remember it after all."

"Don't say that. Nightmares happen to everyone, maybe just the cakes and diamonds themselves are a reminder of your life, not what you were doing to them or them to you."

I blink at her. She is so gorgeous and kind, no matter what happens to me, I know I want her in my life. But I'm not sure whether she actually likes to be around me, or if she is just this nice to everyone. "Katniss?"

She smiles back at me as I shift uneasily in the bed. "Yeah?"

I take a deep breath. "Whatever happens to me, I want you to be in my life. Is…is that okay?"

Katniss looks a bit shocked at first, but she recovers quickly and grins. "Of course Peeta, I'll be there for you."

I wish I could kiss her right now. Even just a small kiss on the cheek would suffice, but I know that she would not be very receptive of that. After what Johanna told me about some of her past relationships, I can tell that she doesn't give her heart away easily. That's okay though, because I am more than up for the challenge.

A/N: What do you think his dreams mean? How do you think Katniss feels about Peeta becoming so attached to her? Review please!