Hey people, I haven't forget and I'm still alive.. my life has been.. complicated.. lately but I'm here to post the third chapter, I hope you like it...
Thanks DeJee, always ...
Enjoy!
Chapter 3 Agony
Alice's POV
I never imagined that I would have to live through so much pain and anguish…
It's been eighteen days since we found out that Bella was pregnant, sixteen days since Carlisle told us that this wasn´t a normal pregnancy and that it would be dangerous for Bella... And five days since Bella lost consciousness, for five days I have been going crazy because I haven´t had a single visions involving Bella or the baby and it´s starting to freak me out…
"Alice, you have to calm down a little, it's not good for you or Bella…" as usual Jazz was the one who tried to calm me down (the key word being 'tried'), but that seemed impossible for me lately…
"Pixie, please… you know how much I hate to see you like this, hell I hate to see anyone like this… Carlisle isn´t there anything you can do?"
"I promise you Emmett, I'm doing everything I can, but as you all know, this is not a normal pregnancy and nothing I know is working on her."
I could hear everything that was being discussed in the room, but my brain couldn´t comprehend any of the words, my mind was solely focused on Bella and the baby. It seemed impossible, but I could almost feel the pain she was in, and there was nothing I could do to help her. Not even Jasper´s attempts to relieve some of that pain was working. I felt like I was dying along with my one and true love…
At some point everyone left the room, leaving me with Bella, or at least I thought that we were alone until I felt my mother's hand on my shoulder…
"Alice, sweetheart, please you have to hunt, your eyes are coal black and…"
"I won't leave her alone!"
"She won't be alone, I'll stay here, and I'll take care of her while you go… Alice it won't do Bella any good if you starve yourself to death…"
"But she's dying Esme, I can't let her die…" after those words left my mouth in a barely whisper, I couldn't hold the emotions anymore, I started to sob and Esme cradled me on her lap hugging me tightly to her chest tracing soft circles on my back with one hand while the other was holding one of Bella's lifeless hands…
"I feel like I'm dying along with her mom, I… I…"
"You love her and you need her…" It wasn't that strange that by now the whole family knew about my feelings towards Bella, they all knew how much I loved, how much I LOVE her, but the intention of Esme's words let me know that she knew how deep this love was… "I know honey, I've known for a while now… she is your true mate…"
I didn't know what to say, I was a bit shocked, but at the same time I was relieved, but then again, my brain couldn't dwell on that thought for long, the pain and the fear of losing Bella came back full force and I started to sob again, harder than before. Esme held me once again this time there were no words…
Six more hours passed and I still refused to leave Bella alone even for a quick hunt, Esme and Carlisle couldn't take it anymore and they resolved this by bringing the 'food' to me. I caught the faint scent of blood and I almost went crazy thinking it was Bella's, but as soon as they enter the room I recognize the scent, it was animal, more precisely mountain lion. At that point the ache in my throat intensified tenfold and started to burn.
"Alice, you have to drink this, please…"
I couldn't deny it, not when I had it right in front of me, so I took the thermos and drank it all in mere seconds, when I was finished, Esme handed me a second one, and just when I was about to start drinking, I heard Bella's fingers twitching a little between the bed sheets, I dropped the thermo and turned my head to face my love, her eyes where fluttering for a minute and then they opened…
"Bella! Bella, sweetie how are you feeling?" a stupid question, I know, but my brain was barely functioning so don't blame me…
"What… smell…?"
Crap! I suddenly remembered that Bella hated the scent of blood… "Esme take the blood away, she hates the smell…"
"Esme wait… Bella? Does the smell bother you?"
"I… thirst…" was she asking for… blood?
Carlisle took the thermo that I dropped and I think that either he or Esme caught it, and he grabbed a dipper from the desk behind him. What happened then surprised all of us as by now the rest of the family was gathered at the door frame watching intently. Carlisle filled the dipper with the blood and held it near Bella's mouth, when the first drop reached her lips; she greedily opened her mouth to get more of the red liquid. Carlisle gave her more and more until the thermo was empty, and we all were shocked to say the least at the sight of Bella, her skin looked less pale and she was breathing much better than before.
"Carlisle, what does this means?"
"I have a theory, maybe the baby is trying to feed from her blood if we give her blood, she will be able to feed the baby without dying in the process…"
"Bella, Bella honey?"
"Alice, you're eyes... they're black…" I had to grin at that, there was the same old Bella, always worrying about everyone but herself.
"I'm ok, but how are you, how are you feeling sweetie?"
Before she even answered me, she moved her left hand towards her belly. I was scared of what her reaction would be so I tried to stop the hand, but it was too late. As soon as her hand touched her belly, she gasped… Her belly now had a baby bump, according to Carlisle, she seemed to be on her 25th week, still her complexion was sickly and her skin was paler than normal…
"How… how long have I been asleep?" she sounded terrified when she asked, and I was just as scared as her, I couldn´t even find my voice.
"Bella, you have been unconscious for five days now, how are you feeling?" Leave it to Carlisle to answer for me. Bella seemed to be in shock, and well we were all in shock…
"Bella?"
"How… I… I… what…" She couldn´t form a proper word and I felt like crying but decided to be strong and went to sit by her side to hold her hand…
"Bella, sweetie, you're fine now, Carlisle is taking care of you, we all are…"
"The baby…"
"The baby seems to doing well Bella, I would like to check you and maybe do an ultrasound if you let me, now that you are conscious again" Bella only nodded and the rest of the family left the room.
I was reluctant to leave her, but Esme grabbed my arm and with a pleading look she asked me to go hunt, she even offered to go with me. I was about to say that I didn´t want to leave Bella, but it was her who practically forced me to go…
"Alice? Please go, I'm gonna be ok, Carlisle is going to take care of me, and you need to feed, I want to see those beautiful honey golden eyes of yours." I swear I could almost feel a faint thud in my chest at the sound of her voice saying that. I only nodded and let Esme drag me out of the room and out of the house.
As soon as we were at the woods, the burning in my throat came back full force, and I focused my senses until I smelled a mountain lion that was near by. After I drank him I felt much better and the urge to go back to Bella's side was too much, unfortunately, Esme had other plans. She grabbed my hand before I can run back to the house, I turned to face her and she chuckled…
"I know that you want to go back, but I thought that we could talk for a bit… about Bella…"
"What about her?"
"About your feelings for her…" Esme's words confused me even more. By now the whole family was well aware of my feelings for Bella, all of them knew how I was suffering with her and how much I care about her and the baby.
"I know… your true feelings… I know that she is your true mate, I've known for a while now…"
WHAT? How could she possibly know? And most important, how didn´t I see this coming?
"Sweetie, it's pretty obvious, at least for me and Carlisle… the way you look at her, the way you caress her hand and her face that's pure love, it's the way I look at Carlisle, or the way Emmett looks at Rose. And I can tell you that she feels it, I can tell you that she loves you the same way…"
"But she can´t possibly know, I mean, she was so in love with… him…" the last word came with so much disdain that I know Esme could notice, but she didn't comment about it.
"Maybe in the beginning she was, but not anymore, maybe she's not aware of her feelings, of this love, because of the baby and everything, but I am sure that if you tell her what you truly feel she will realize that she loves you the same way…"
Could that possibly be true, could Bella love me the same way I love her?
Bella's POV
Right after Esme took Alice hunting, Carlisle started the machine to perform the ultrasound; I was terrified and I didn't want Alice to see me like that. It was surreal and almost impossible how much my belly had grown in the five days I was unconscious, and the fact that I just drank blood… I mean, I was always grossed out at the sight of blood, and now I drank it, like it was a glass of wine, I don't even like wine for Christ sake!
"Bella, are you ready?" Carlisle's words bought me back to reality, and the question here is, Am I ready for this?
"I… I guess…"
"Do you want me to wait until Alice gets home?"
"NO! I… I 'm just… I don't want her to see me like this, scared of what I am about to see on that screen…"
Carlisle was about to say something comforting to me, but right before he could, we heard a knock on the door, and whoever it was, waited for Carlisle to let them in…
"Bella, would you feel comfortable if Rosalie came in?" I turned to the door and after a couple of seconds I decided that I needed someone holding my hand, even if said person was Rosalie.
"You can come in Rose…" As soon as the words left my lips, she opened the door and walked towards the other side of the bed, she almost looked hesitant and a little sheepish, I was grateful for her being supportive, so I took her hand and in a barely audible whisper I thanked her, she only nodded… "I'm ready Carlisle…"
"Alright then" He carefully took the bed sheet and with Rose's help they lifted up my shirt, I hadn't even noticed I was wearing, I suppose that with my huge belly none of my clothes fit me anymore, so I was wearing one of Emmett's old shirts… Then, he put the cold gel on my belly and started, the first images appeared on the screen, and the strangest thing happened then, just when Carlisle was moving the thing, it was like the baby knew that we were trying to see him/her, because in that same moment, a tiny hand appeared on the screen…
Alice's POV
Finally we were running back to the house, and I had a quick vision about Emmett wanting to talk with me, I couldn't see what it was about, but I knew that he would do what he could just to talk to me…
As soon as Esme and I stepped into the backyard of the house, Emmett was there waiting for me with a very serious expression on his face, something I wasn't used to.
"What is it Em, I don't have much time, I want to go to Bella…"
"I know that Al, but I was thinking something that could help us when Bella gives birth the baby."
"Emmett if you are thinking on what names she should choose, it can wait…"
"Is not that pixie, please…" Ok now I was intrigued, I never in my live with the Cullen's ever saw him like this… "Ali, I was thinking that when the Bella starts labor, it will be really hard for her, I mean she's already weak, and it seems that the baby is consuming all of her strength. What if she didn't make it? What if she…" I knew what he was getting at: What if she dies?
"NO, she won't, I won't let her die Emmett!"
"I know you won't Alice, I won't let her either, so I was thinking that maybe we… you can turn her… and before you freak out on me, I'm not talking about you biting her… I was thinking that you can produce venom and put it on some of Carlisle syringes and when she is in labor if it's necessary you can inject your venom so you can save her…"
This was the craziest idea I ever heard from him, but at the same time it was brilliant, it could work, but I needed to ask Carlisle how I could do it. And I also had to ask Bella if she wants to be turned. I knew that she wanted to before all this mess started, before my stupid brother messed things up, but now, now that she is going to have a baby, maybe she changed her mind…
"Alice, please stop being so anxious!"
"I'm sorry Jazz… I can't stop thinking that maybe now she doesn't want to be turned anymore…" I would be devastated if she decided to stay human and leaves us once the baby is born, that she will leave me.
"Please Ali, I hate to see you like that, I'm sure that Bella still wants to be one of us, all you have to do is ask her… C'mon Pixie, cheer up and go ask her now, she's with Rosie, waiting for you…"
Emmett and Jazz were right, all I have to do is ask her, besides, I still see her as a vampire whenever I try to get a glimpse of the future, only the images I get now are blurry as if something or someone is blocking her.…
Almost without realizing, I started to walk at a human pace towards Bella's makeshift room, when I reached the door, Carlisle softly touched my shoulder as not to startle me…
"Alice… Bella is doing better now, she drank more blood and she is feeling a bit better. I also wanted to tell you that I feel the same way as Esme, about your feelings and please know that we support you no matter what decision you make at the end. Though I honestly hope that you tell Bella how you really feel about her… after his little speech, he gave me a fatherly hug and gently pushed me towards the door…
Rosalie's POV
After recovering from the shock of watching Bella drinking blood, we all went back to occuping ourselves with whatever we were doing. I was waiting outside the room for the right moment to drag Alice outside and take her hunting, but fortunately Esme beat me to it. I knew that it would be extremely hard for Alice to leave Bella, even for a few minutes, so when she looked at me with pleading eyes; I understood what she was asking of me.
I knew that Carlisle knew I was outside, so as soon as I heard him asking Bella if it was ok for me to come in and heard Bella's answer, I stepped in the room and grabbed one of Bella's hands. I could see the turmoil of emotions running in her eyes, starting with fear.
When Carlisle finally started, the first thing that came on the screen was a tiny hand, then others blurry images appeared when Carlisle decided to stop Bella and I turned to him, both with worried frowns I had to ask.
"Carlisle, why did you stop? Is something wrong?"
"No, it's just, Bella, do you want to know the sex?" Bella's eyes lit up a bit at the question and it almost seemed to beat the fear I saw there a few minutes ago. She just nodded to Carlisle.
"It's a girl. She seems to be growing faster now…"
"What does that means?" she asked with a worried voice
"I'm not sure, I'm trying to establish a due date according to all the records since we found out, and I don't want to go ahead without studying a bit more, but so far I'm guessing that she will be born in less than two weeks…"
"Are you serious Carlisle? That's… that's impossible…" I was shocked, in less than two weeks Bella would be in labor… in less than two weeks, she could…
"It's supposed to be impossible for a vampire to have biological children…" she said in a low whisper
"I'm sorry…" was my weak attempt to calm myself and apologize for my outburst.
"As I said before, I don't want to jump to conclusions not before I have looked at these latest results.
"Thanks again Carlisle, for everything you and your family have done for me…"
"Bella, you are family to us…"
"Not anymore, not after… he left me… again…"
"Bella please understand this, you have always been part of this family, and no matter if you and Edward are not together anymore, we all love you the same if not more…"
I knew what those last three words meant, I knew, and I suspected that by now the rest of the family knew as well, that Alice was deeply in love with Bella. I guess the only one who doesn't know yet is Bella herself. I only hope that Alice has the courage to tell her before the baby is born.
After a few minutes, Carlisle left the room and Bella and I stayed in silence, still absorbing the information we just got. Then I heard Alice downstairs talking with Emmett. I heard everything, and I was not the only one suprised that my husband had come up with that idea, but I hope it would work.
Then, when Alice was about to open the door I could heard Carlisle's voice and I just knew that whatever Carlisle had to say to Alice that it was something that Bella had to hear, so I went to open the door slightly telling Bella that Alice was here. I only hoped that I was right and that it were the ones Bella needed to hear and she did hear them…
Bella's POV
I didn't know exactly how I supposed to feel after Carlisle told me that I'm going to have a baby girl, first I felt excitement then came the fear the same fear I felt before. I'm not afraid of my baby girl, I'm more afraid of what could happen that I won't survive the birth… But what I scared most is the idea of loosing…
"Are you going?" I felt Rose walk away and I got anxious
"No, I'm going to open the door, I heard Alice…"
"Oh" I couldn't understand why, but hearing that made me feel so much better… I waited until Rose opened the door and we could hear Carlisle's voice talking to Alice…
"…I feel the same way as Esme about your feelings, and please know that we support you no matter what decision you make in the end; though I honestly hope that you tell Bella how you really feel about her…"
What she feels about me? What's that supposed to mean? Does she hate me because I'm breaking up her family with all this mess? God, how could I be so stupid, of course she hates me, I made her favorite brother run away, I caused her parents to lose their first son…
A couple of minutes later I felt Alice taking my hand and when I looked around I didn't see Rose it was just Alice and me. I didn't look into her eyes, I felt ashamed and I tried to take my hand back but she wouldn't let me. I didn't want her to hate me, and I didn't want to cry in front of her but that was a very difficult task, more so when her beautiful golden eyes were gazing at me.
"Bella, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"
"You don't have to be here Alice…" and the worst part of it is that it came out with a very trembling voice and the first tears ran down my left cheek.
"Why, Bella? Do you want me to go?" I stayed silent I knew that if I tried to talk again I would start crying. "Bella sweetie, talk to me… please tell me why are you crying"
"I don't want you to hate me…"
"Hate you? Why would I hate you Bella… I… I love you…"
When I heard those words from her beautiful lips I felt complete for the first time in my life…
What happened next took me by suprise
Alice kissed me…
Her lips touched mine so softly…
The feeling was overwhelming, but in a very good way. And as suddenly as it started, it stopped…
"Bella, I love you… I could never hate you because I'm in love with you… I have been for a long time and I can't spend another day, another minute holding all this inside of me…"
"I…"
"You don't have to say anything right now Bella, I know that you don't feel the same way, and I don't want to force you to say or feel anything… I know that the timing is bad with the pregnancy and everything, but I just…"
I stopped her rambling by putting a finger on her sweet lips… "Alice, sweet Alice, I love you too… I've realized that what I feel for you is so much more than just friendship. I've known since you came back to me… I love you Alice…"
You know, I hate being like this, but I kinda need to know if this is worth to keep going... so please, I'll be grateful if you take a few min to leave a review...