Belvaa Mer's eyes flung wide open. She didn't jump up on alert or even feel herself sweating. Awoken became used to strange dreams after a time. Instead she slowly eased herself upwards from her bed and reached over to the nightstand. A soft glowing terminal appeared at the wave of her hand, illuminating the room with a dim blue hue. Various icons and menus appeared but she sought something dull. The time.
12:46 A.M. (Standard Earth Time: UTC+03)
It wasn't too late. With another wave the hologram was gone and she sat upon her bed in the dark. Faint shimmers of light danced upon her silver skin in the dark as if they were reflected by water. This dream hadn't been as bad as some others. For as long as Belvaa could remember she always had vivid dreams, but sometimes they were more than that. It had been hard to tell the difference between a vision and a dream at first. From experience she noticed dreams tended to make less sense and visions had a trance like calmness to them as if she were awake while watching them unfold. You could never forget visions. This one was hard to tell the difference between though.
It had been months since the Gap, yet it still haunted her at night. The carnage of the struggle had been horrific and for most of the battle they had been losing. The retreat back to the city walls had been the most demoralizing part. Seeing the Fallen climb the walls in vast numbers with a city of civilians' right behind her ripe for slaughter...that hadn't been the worst of it. It was the sounds. The roar of the alien horde surging forward, the screams of death, weapons firing, explosions from ordnance. Many of her nightmares were just twisted versions of those sounds and images but somehow worse. Lord Shaxx never rallies a counter offensive, their morale is never bolstered to charge forth and push them back, and the city is sacked and burning.
Thankfully reality was occasionally better than nightmares. Occasionally. Sometimes it wasn't even related to the Gap. Once she had dreamt the Fallen were stalking her in tunnels of a ruined human city. Her Ghost had been destroyed and she wouldn't revive again. Without her Ghost she couldn't see in the dark and her Light felt weak. As they tore her apart she woke up terrified, conjuring up a blast of solar energy that created a small hole in the wall to the neighboring Guardians quarters. The Titan there only laughed about it and she has been friends with him since.
Belvaa felt as if she couldn't return to sleep but still lowered herself back down onto the bed, gazing at the ceiling with the bright blue eyes of an awoken. Her thoughts drifted to the Titan she had seen. Some dreams had been of others facing the Fallen. Sometimes they were long dead comrades, other times it was of complete strangers. What she had seen stuck with her. It had been so detailed she decided it had to have been a vision. None she previously experienced had ever lasted that long. Why? It seemed so insignificant, a newborn Guardian struggle after revival. Had it already happened? Will it happen? That Titan had been exceptionally pathetic. Maybe it held no meaning and the visions were as random as dreams. She felt sorry for the man, being brought back to this cruel world just to experience more hardship. A blessing for others. A curse unto oneself.
If the Titan really was in the dead zone, he would have a difficult time reaching the city. Shaxx's Red Jacks that cleared and held ground for the newly formed Crucible hadn't even ventured that far. As sad as the thought was, Belvaa couldn't do anything for the doomed man. She had no ship, was inexperienced, and had no idea where or when the vision would happen. Maybe it wouldn't exactly unfold as she saw it. If it did…his Light would be snuffed out before it could grow, a fate given to many guardians she assumed. An insignificant event that couldn't be stopped.
Light, guide him to safety. Darkness, turn an eye from him till he's bright enough to notice.
Prayers would do little, but it's all she had to offer. They are all countless others have had. The state of the City after the battle has been turbulent. Some rejoiced at the victory, some mourned their loved ones. Others like herself worried about the future. Their solar system is a massive place in scale for themselves, but just a tiny little speck on the map of the universe. With enemies everywhere out there, how could they expand and reclaim anything if they could barely hold one city? She had no answers, maybe someone would. The world seemed to be run without understanding it, trying to drove people insane. Tolrand, and now Osiris...his exile left her feeling torn. He had been an upstanding guardian after the Battle of Six Fronts, commended by Saint-14, but he delved very deep into trying to understanding the darkness. The things he said were speculation at best, but it made her wonder about the Speaker and the Traveler itself. What was the darkness?
Belvaa held her hand up in front of her, watching the dim light dance across her skin in the darkness. Her kind were said to be born of both the Light and the Dark during the collapse, changed by some event were the two forces clashed. If that was true, was she evil? Did the forces keep each other in check? Many questions she had asked herself time and time again came to mind with one common theme: she had no answer for them. Maybe that's what drove those warlocks to madness. Maybe she would go mad as well thinking about answer-less questions. Not being able to fall back asleep sure wasn't helping. Slowly she rose once again and stepped down from the bed.
"Wisp?" she called out in the dark room.
There was a moment of silence before a flash of blue light manifested the Ghost in front of her. "Yes?" He questioned, sounding groggy.
"I can't sleep anymore. Would you like to accompany me outside? I think I want to find a quiet terminal to sit down and read."
"I'll just stay here and keep powered down if that's okay." Wisp answered, too tired to sound like his normal cheery self.
"That's fine. You just have my clothes, so..."
Her Ghost beeped more alertly, "Oh, sorry! Yes." It drifted close to her and showered her in its blue light. Slowly something appeared around her form until her attire was solidified out of transmat.
"Thank you. I guess on occasion we can leave these out like normal people," she joked and adjusted the robes on her now covered self.
Wisp gave a sigh and shook his shell, "Well, now I'm up. Might as well come with you."
The pair walked out from their temporary room in the tower. After the Gap it was the only tower left. The others had been located in the outer city and had since been abandoned. Belvaa heard talk of refortifying those areas soon; however, it was doubtful people would live in them as they once had. The inner city was now exceptionally crowded with makeshift shelters popping up to support the new residents. Wisp floated to her left, a soft static buzz emanating off his shell as he moved with her. Ghosts each seemed to have their own personality, no two she had ever seen were exactly alike. Once they found a guardian, Ghosts seemed to develop their individuality at a much quicker rate. Some even modified their outer shell to reflect what they do or who they are. Wisp had taken on a silver color, much like her own skin. Every now and then he recreated the shimmering effect of her skin on his body, typically when he was happy. He had also modified the pointed ends of typical Ghost shells and instead had much rounder tips. Made him look almost like a toy. For Ghosts he was rather cheery and didn't take things as seriously as many other people. He had the annoying habit of humming to himself as he flew around. Thankfully he wasn't doing that at the moment.
She wore robes that were gifted to her after that battle and still wasn't used to the new field weave. It felt good to wear but she had decided to leave the helmet off to feel some air. Her white hair was knotted in a bun on the back of her head for comfort and ease. She could have cut it to shorten the length for the same effect but didn't quite like that look. Awoken weren't too common in the tower, but weren't rare either. A good portion of those who had fled earth came back at the tale of safety under the Traveler, but they had done so changed. Some found her appearance unsettling, others just seemed to stare as if she were a puzzle trying to be solved. If that were true, she herself didn't know how to.
"Your stride," Wisp said suddenly, "It's different. You seem confident and sure."
Belvaa's pace slowed down as she turned to her Ghost, amused. "Really? Because I feel none of those things."
"Ever since you were officially adorned Praxic and given the Cormorant Seal you've been like that."
Belvaa shook her head, "No, it's not that. If anything, I've been different since Twilight Gap."
"Well, yes," Wisp yielded, "But that was different. You were distant and sad. I won't lie, it made me want to have the ability to cry. Once the order acknowledged your actions in the battle, you changed again. Still distant, less sad. You trust in yourself more."
Her gaze drifted to the bond she now wore on left arm. The metal encircle around her was a coppery gold. A blue hologram of two eagles back to back with wings and talons outstretched shone from the top end of the bonds display, along with a pattern of connected blue circles wrapping along the length. The Seal read, "Only the wind beneath you," She remembered. It had been her desire to join the Praxic Order for a while, to stop worrying about the unknown in the world and instead help it. During the retreat from Twilight Gap to the cities walls, a force was organized to cover the majority of fleeing army. Commanders across the field had gathered Titans and whoever else volunteered to stay behind. Belvaa volunteered and was paired with two Titans from the Stoneborn Order. Each hastily assembled fire-team spread out across the field with one thing in common, each one had a Ward of Dawn. A tactic developed at the Battle of Six Fronts, the guardians became a living wall. A squad of guardians for a Ward, linked together to feed off each other's Light in battle. Fallen ordnance rained down on the Wards as the majority of the forces retreated to safety. When they realized their weapons wouldn't bring the Wards down, the Fallen charged. They held, threw the Fallen charge back, retreated, created another line, held. Slowly but surely they fell back, keeping the Fallen busy.
It worked for a time. When the line began to falter and guardians fell in battle…things changed very quickly. Fallen swarmed through the holes in the line and began to surround some of the fire-teams. Soon it became a fight for their own survival, those that could retreated to the cities walls. That had been terrifying. She had been ready to die her final death with those Titans, holding off any of the Fallen that entered their Ward. One of them typically would grapple with those that charged in, leaving it vulnerable to the others to finish off. Many Fallen fell in creative ways due to the closeness of the combat. It was a bloody ordeal that should have killed her. Inside the Ward, however, gave her an armor of Light that her own field weave could never hope to replicate. Blow after blow rained upon her inside the violet sphere and she still stood, a song of radiance burning around her, feeding her Light to her comrades to replace their Wards when they dissipated. They had made it to the city and were granted a moment to rest, cut short when the enemy began to scale the wall. Many had been able to make it to safety at the cost of a few. A great deal of those that covered the retreat perished, those that hadn't were honored. The Praxis Order had welcomed her saying she exhibited true bravery and shone brightly on the battlefield and had gifted her with the Seal and a set of armor, the Cormorant Line. In reality she had been terrified and felt the Stoneborn's were the only reason she survived. Before the Gap she had rarely faced any enemy.
"I don't feel that kind of confidence in myself." She told Wisp.
"I never said you feel it. Look, even commanders have doubts and fears in battle. The difference from them and a coward is they don't let it rule them. You fought and survived, that was more important that your emotions. You still had those, but they didn't stop you from acting as you needed to. Everyone is their worst critic. So even if you don't feel like you've changed, maybe subconsciously you have."
Belvaa smiled at the Ghost, "Maybe you're right. I still don't feel seasoned like a veteran, but I held my own."
Wisp chuckled, "Don't forget, you also had me. I did like half the work."
"Oh yes! I could never forget how you brandished your gun and mowed down wave after wave of Fallen."
"You know me," Wisp joked, "I needed more corpses for my throne."
They made their way in the base of the tower to an elevator and rode to the top. Up there it was always beautiful. The clear polished stone floors, the sky overhead, and the Traveler, hovering over the city quietly. Often you could find others staring at over the railing at all times of the day, still majestic every time it was observed. At night, she liked to look up at the stars. The tower always had the best view of them. It made her think of what was out there and put the scope of everything in perspective. She thought about herself as an awoken and the people in the Reef she knew little of. She thought of Light and Darkness. As a Praxic, she was supposed to focus less on questions and more on action. Beholding the night sky above her made those questions hard to ignore. Still she stopped gazing and instead found an access terminal off to the side where lush green plants grew and began to read of the happenings in the City. Wisp began to hum softly to himself.