I do not own the characters of Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor any other aspects of it. At least, so my shrink keeps telling me...and my name is not, apparently, Anno...
Rating: T - The Japanese invented fan-service, then they made a better air-conditioner.
Initial Peturbation MkII
CHAPTER 4 - Hot Angelic Baby
"Gordammant! You didn't even protest!" Asuka scowled at the skinny boy. He frowned in response.
"It's not like I could do anything about it."
The redhead looked away, her face blushing a vivid Ultra Violent. "So you'd prefer to suck up to Misato than to stick up for our rights as Pilots and Children! Pathetic!"
Shinji scowled and looked down at the pavement as they walked. "I don't see why you're so upset."
The girl stopped short, forcing Shinji to stop and turn. "Huh?"
Asuka seethed, her chest heaving as her indrawn breath welled inside her.
"What's wrong?"
"You. Are. An. Idiot." she said carefully and bitterly. She turned about face and started walking in the opposite direction.
"Huh? Hey Asuka, what's wrong?" He jogged a little to catch up to the powerwalking girl. "Hey, school is that way!"
"Go away, Third."
"Ah geez, is it because I didn't agree with you? I'm sorry...I'll try talking to Misato if you feel that strongly about it?"
"You don't get it. You think apologising is enough?"
"I...don't understand..."
"Of course not, you're as thick as the other two stooges. I don't know why I even talk to you!"
"Asuka, just tell me what's wrong! Please..."
She stopped short again. "You knew what I wanted. And you didn't even try to help me get it."
Shinji stared at her. "Is...that it?"
"PROFESSOR IDIOTE!" She pulled back and slammed him with a slap that shocked the skin like acid. Shinji fell back onto the pavement, rolling into a sitting position as he clutched at his cheek.
"I'm...sorry Asuka." He didn't look up as he spoke. The girl peered at him through veiled eyes for a moment before departing briskly.
"What is it you really want, Asuka?" Shinji murmered to himself. It was some time before he stood up.
Touji leaned in at Shinji, who was seated at his desk with a blank expression. "Hey Shinji, where's the devil? You're usually like magnets. Did the honeymoon finally end?"
Kensuke pushed up his glasses as he came over. "Maybe their poles have flipped, like the Earth's magnetic field in 2012?"
Shinji didn't look up at them. "I don't know where she is." he explained bitterly.
"Hmm," Kensuke observed him. "Did you two have a fight? Could it be...?"
"All over!" the two stooges chimed in unison, sporting goofy celebratory grins topped-off with a high-5. Shinji responded by rotating his chair so that he wasn't facing either of them.
"Shut up." he mumbled. If it hadn't been like a whisper, it would have been like a bellow.
"Hey," Touji frowned and moved closer so that he was sitting on Shinji's desk. "Dude. Chill, bro, I was like, kidding and all. You had a fight, huh?"
Shinji refused to turn to face him, but he answered, "Yeah, but I don't know why...crazy girls, they don't make any sense."
Kensuke blinked. "So, that's how it is. Who'da thought it'd be Ikari who'd be the first to experience girl trouble."
"I don't even know why..." Shinji muttered darkly.
"Whoa..." Touji leaned back in shock.
"Wait...were you going out or something?" Kensuke asked.
Shinji smiled coldly. "No, but...I don't even know why...is it worth having friends if it can hurt this much?"
The bespectacles one waved his hands soothingly. "That's just girls, guys aren't as crazy. We're your friends, through thick and thin!"
"Until I'm not an Eva Pilot anymore?"
Kensuke stared at the seated boy. "What? What do you mean? Say it ain't so!"
Touji flicked the otaku's forehead. "You dunce, it was a trap and you failed miserably. Shinji, we'll stick with ya whether you're a pilot or not. Us guys, we gotta stick together and help each other right?"
Shinji finally looked up and gave the jock a rueful grin. "Sure, I guess...and that includes math class notes right?"
The big oaf scratched his back in embarrasment. "Well, it's a give and take thing, ya know...?"
The Third Child nodded, and sighed. "By the way guys, looks like I won't be able to make it to the school trip."
"Eh!" Touji gasped. "That sucks man!"
Kensuke was more cynical. "So let me guess; you, Asuka, Rei and Misato will have no one to hang out with but each other. Shinji, you'd better keep working on getting me in dammnit!"
"Hey Shinji," Touji said suddenly, "if you're not going, maybe you could visit my sister for me? I'll give you the address of the hospital, and the room number and everything."
Shinji looked startled. "Uh w-well...I guess so..."
Hikari came over and tapped Touji's shoulder. "Hey, you two get to your seats. Class is about to start." she commanded.
"Ah, okay sure!" he responded obediently.
The Inchou held his gaze. "Suzahara! Why haven't you got your new uniform yet?"
He held his hands up imploringly. "Uh, I still haven't had a chance to ask my father about it..."
Hikari's severe look softened. "Well, try to remember okay? Now get to your desk."
The two stooges left the third to find their seats as the school day began anew.
Rei walked across the classroom in her usual ghostly fashion to her fellow pilot as they packed up for the day. "Pilot Sohryu."
The pilot lifted her satchel up onto her desk and began filling it. "Asuka. You call me Asuka, okay?" she grumbled.
"Asuka. Are you having difficulties in your relationship with Pilot Ikari?"
The redhead stopped filling her bag and narrowed her eyes. "What relationship? We're just co-workers, alright?"
The albino tilted her head. "It seems the relationship has been damaged, so you seek to deny it's existence in ordet that you will not miss it's absence? However, if you act this way, you will lose the relationship instead of healing it. This is my opinion."
"You know what, First? Shut up. It's not that simple." Asuka closed her satchel with a resolute click and hefted it onto her shoulder. She stubbornly remained silent, waiting for Rei to comment. She didn't. "Oh fine! That stupid baka betrayed me!"
"And so your trust in the relationship is diminished."
"Stop calling it a 'relationship' okay? Saying it like that implies...romantic feelings. We're just friends!"
"What is the difference between the two forms of relationship?"
Asuka held up a hand in frustration. "Ach, I can't believe I'm going to try and explain this. Romance is like...dates and hugs and kisses and chocolate and flowers. A friendship is more like talking and games and laughing and playing."
"So a romantic relationship is the more valuable?"
Asuka hesitated. "Uh...sure, I guess. But it has requirements, you know? Like...sparks and passion."
Rei nodded. "I see. So you are waiting for these requisits to appear before you can extend your relationship based on reproductive urges."
"No way! You've got it all wrong! Stop jumping to stupid conclusions...relationships are too complicated to understand so easily."
Again the blue-haired one nodded, though her stoic mask showed a slight hint of contriteness. "I see. Thankyou for your instruction." she then tilted her head questioningly. "Do you believe that your friendship" she stressed the word slightly, "is salvageable?"
Asuka let a sigh heave through her. "I don't know..." she admitted grudgingly. "I hope so."
They left the classroom to find Misato standing with Shinji meekly at her side. "Ah, there you are Asuka. And Rei, how are you?"
Rei bowed her head politely. "I am well, Captain. I will leave now."
Misato nabbed the First Child's shoulder before the she could leave. "Uh-uh. Rei, you're getting a lift home."
The girl frowned slightly. "That is not efficient, since I don't live near your apartment."
"And she doesn't want to put up with your driving." Asuka hissed, interrupting rudely to annoy Misato.
"No, Rei. With these two happy-absorbing black holes in the car, I need you to liven things up a bit on the way home. So I insist."
Asuka's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. 'Using Rei to liven up the atmosphere? Just how bad are we...?'
Shinji pecked half-heartedly at his laptop. He could hear the sound of the two girls splashing away in the pool, but wouldn't let it distract him. Still irritated at Asuka, he had decided to ignore her, and by extension Rei. It was easier that way.
This did little to make him better at physics.
"Pilot Ikari."
"Hmm?" The boy looked over his shoulderi. "Yes, Rei?"
"You appear withdrawn. Do you require assistance, or is this a symptom of your and Asuka's issues?"
Shinji frowned. "Why can't you call me Shinji if you call her Asuka?"
"Her insistance allowed me to mnemonic her preference versus my normal patterns more easily."
"Uhm...okay." Shinji blinked as if he'd been force-fed a raw cabbage. "Err...what was the question?"
Rei peered at the computer screen. "My understanding of this topic is less than complete. However, I believe that Asuka's knowledge exceeds our own by some margin, and perhaps even that of the Sensei."
"Good for her." Shinji mumbled, being unable to growl in the pale girl's presence.
"I will fetch her." The first child turned and dove into the pool before Shinji could protest.
'Is she trying to patch things up for us? I suppose it was better for her that way...' He wondered, peturbed at the thought of Ayanami having ulterior motives. It unnerved him to think he'd contributed to her corruption.
He suddenly shivered when he heard someone approaching him from behind. Someone wet. "So, Third, need some help huh?" Asuka asked, hands resting on her cocked hips, water dripping along the seams of her brightly coloured bikini.
"No." Shinji picked up his laptop and folded it under his arm. Standing up, he walked directly to the entrance without looking at Asuka's wet, swimsuit-clad form. Somehow it didn't allure him right now.
"Hey, you can't leave. Misato told us all to stay right here so that Section 2 can guard all three of us!"
At that, he did turn and faced her savagely. "And just when did what Misato's orders matter to you? I guess I'll do what you want and...defy her for you! Happy Birthday or something!" With that, Shinji stormed out of the room.
Asuka looked on at the doorway as Rei sidled up beside her. "You are correct, Asuka. I do not yet have a sufficient grasp of matters to make informed decisions. I apologise."
She let a hand rest on her fellow pilot's shoulder lightly. "It's alright, baka First Child. Scheisse happens." she sighed. "Baka."
The boy threw his bag onto his bed before rustling in his cupboard for some dry clothes. The floor was wet from where he'd walked in after one of the sudden downfalls that characterised the unstable post second-impact weather conditions. Apparently even modern meteorology couldn't keep pace with the riled mother nature.
He'd just gotten out of a refreshing shower and into his clean clothes when he heard the apartment's door open. His mood darkened again as he left the bathroom.
"Hey Shinji! What's for dinner tonight?" Asuka called out from the living room.
'Oh sure, like if you pretend then everything's going to go how it was before.'
He ignored her and fetched his raincoat from the rack near the door.
"Hey Dumkopff, I'm talking to you." The redhead had walked up and stood by the door. "Where're you going anyway, it's pouring out there!"
"Out." Shinji answered curtly and made for the door after doning the coat. Asuka moved to block him.
"Oh no you don't Third. This has gone on long enough."
"Sure." Shinji's tone was bland as he moved to shoulder his way past. Asuka blocked. Shinji pushed harder. Presently they were puffing and straining against each other in a strangely muted battle of physical wills. Despite her extra height, Asuka failed to make any headway, not that she was entirely sure how she could stop him from leaving short of using a combat move.
"Mmmrr, grrr..." She growled as they struggled unartfully.
Shinji started to get frustrated, and began shoving at her in jolts. Without any good way to counter, Asuka was soon pressed up against the door. 'At least he can't get out with me blocking him from the door like this...owch too close to the handle!' She had actually started to sweat in her exhersions now.
"Ehhhhhhhrrrrrrrrr!" Shinji breathed in frustration. He was beginning to tire physically now, and his resolve started to break.
"Just move, damn you! I...I don't wan't to hurt you Asuka..."
"Then...at least...you're talking to me...again..." She puffed.
That was enough. Suddenly Shinji stopped pushing, and sagged against her. She felt soft sobs shaking his body when he buried his face in her shoulder. Surprised and unsure of what to do, Asuka enfolded his back with her arms.
"I'm...sorry..."
"I...it's okay...it's my fault, I don't know why I got so upset..."
"I was just so sad...I need you. I need you to be my friend again...I don't want to be like I was before."
"I know. Maybe I was a little mean, huh?
Shinji lifted an arm and punched her shoulder. "You bet you were!" he laughed/cried.
They stood like that, especially awkwardly on Asuka's part, for a few minutes before they got control. Asuka carefully walked Shinji over to the couch and made him lie down, and went to the kitchen to boil some water. "You want some tea? I sure do." She called gently, slightly mockingly.
"S-sure." He replied. Asuka smiled widely.
"You realise that's the first time you've stuttered in three days? I'm glad to hear it!"
She was gratified to hear his weak chuckle as she reached for the tea tin. A few minutes later she walked back to the couch to hand Shinji his teacup. "You better yet?"
"Uhm, yeah."
"Good. Now maybe you can tell me where you were going." Asuka said as she looked at his now discarded coat lying on the floor.
"I was going to visit Mari."
Asuka looked at him sharply. "Who is 'Mari'?"
Shinji held his hands up defensively, "Uhm, Touji's sister...you know, the one who's in the hospital...because of me..."
The redhead looked at him speculatively. "You put his sister in hospital? How...?" She looked him up and down. "Oh wait...Mari Suzahara, from the first battle right? For a moment there, my mind kinda wandered." Asuka grimaced, remembering what she'd heard about the incident. She mulled over it for a moment. "You want me to come with you?"
"Uh? Uhm, sure."
"Good. She'll be happy to hear how you've learned to make your Eva walk by now."
"Oh kids," Misato cooed, "time to earn those little paycheques..."
Asuka rolled her eyes as the Section 2 agent bundled her and Shinji into the briefing room. "We got that when these lugs started man-handling us. Are they allowed to do that? Hands off pigdog!"
"Well sure, that's what they're paid for. So, are you two back together now? Shinji take you on a nice romantic date and buy you flowers?"
"Hah! In case you didn't know, we were visiting the hospital. These goons scared a poor little girl half to death!"
"Shinji took you to the hospital...and now there's a little girl there? I know there's a population crisis, but damn you two work fast! Anyway, Rei should be here any minute."
Shinji spoke up, "Uhm, is there another Angel attack? I haven't heard any alarms yet."
"Hmm? No, actually. But it is an Angel emergency. I'll tell you all about it once Rei gets here."
"The MAGI have run through our data network and haven't found anything, Captain." Dr. Akagi said.
"Damn! In this day and age, we still don't even know much about the ground we live on." Misato groused.
"Much of the data we had on vulcanology died with second impact, and there's been little emphasis on that area since. After all, the knowledge is a little obscure unless you're trying to track an Angel's chrysalis floating around in molten lava."
"Oh well, we'll deal with what we've got. What's our likely accuracy rate?"
Ritsuko consulted her PDA. "About 78 percent...not bad considering how little solid information we have to deal with. Most of the fluid theories we're using have never been applied on such a small scale of magma flow."
"Hmmph, it's not particularly good, either. Section 2, where the hell is Rei!"
"Section 2 reports their ETA is two minutes." Aoba Shigeru reported.
"How are preparations?"
Maya spoke, "A scratch coolant rig is undergoing initial testing, and a magnetic enclosure is being built by R & D."
"Good. That D-type equipment better be up to the job." Misato growled.
"Don't worry Misato," Ritsuko said, "the Evas are our most valuable assets. We won't let them come under any unnecessary risk."
Asuka whispered to Shinji, "Notice they said nothing about us pilots,"
"Maybe they mean us as a part of the Evas?" Shinji whispered back.
Asuka gave him a dissapointed glare. 'He's so...pathetic. What am I supposed to do with this dweeb?'
Some time later, the Angel's body crumbled into the molten rock, it's flesh unable to renew itself without the S2 organ's function. The gaping maw snarled once last time, seemingly in vengeful triumph as it swiped at the Evangelion's fragile protection before finally melting into become molten slag. Unit 02 would pay it's it's ferryman's fee as the coolant supply and structural support ceased to be.
Asuka stared at her display in shock as she felt the supply pipes give way and her Eva began to gently descend.
"I'm...lost..." she whispered, sickened as the realisation struck home. Her detached, analytical mind estimated she had maybe thirty seconds of conciousness left before the heat inevitably melted away the Eva around her, eating into the core with insipid heat. No doubt she'd be alive in a technical sense for a couple of minutes more, before the core gave out completely and the life support surrendered utterly, but the time left her for rational thought was much less. No AT field could last long in this environment.
"I have no time left...the spark that burns brightest...Kaji, Mama, Misato...Shinji...I needed more time..." she said into the void, forgetting for a moment the stunned silence of the command crew on the other side of her open communications system.
The young pilot closed her eyes, hugging herself despite the rapidly increasing heat and the bubbles forming in the LCL. Then, she looked up in surprise as a powerful jolt rocked the Eva. In the thick magma, her Eva could feel the long-wave motions of something out there.
She rotated the CT scan even as she absorbed the knowledge that she was no longer dropping. She saw an upside-down Unit 01, mouth clenched shut and armour melting like putty, regarding her with a stony but somehow benevolent stare.
Relief flooded her like a gush of cool broth. "Baka," she smiled. "even here you're trying to be cool."
"Ikari, a little congratulations would be in order. He's acted against orders to achieve a better outcome."
"I see no need. It was already a part of the scenario. Things will unfold as they must."
"If you keep acting like this, you'll lose more than his amiability. You'll lose his respect, and we can't afford that. Not yet. Just because he's a part of the scenario doesn't mean he can't affect it's outcome."
"His affections are not of my concern. His power to affect the scenario is minute."
Fuyutski sighed, then stood up. "Shinji, this is sub-commander Fuyutski. Well done."
"Uh, thankyou sir!"
"Very good, Pilot." He sat back down. "A stitch in time, Gendo."
Gendo's mouth distorted into a sneer. "You always were a soft touch, professor."
"Have you got some tissues ready, Third Child?"
"I'm not as bad as you think, Asuka. It's not like I'll lose it all at once."
"I think you underestimate me."
"Huh, it's not like I havent seen you or Rei before."
"But this is a little different, Shinji."
"Oh whatever! Show me what you've got then."
Asuka came around the partition. Shinji's jaw dropped, and perhaps a little blood did pool at his nostril after all.
"You like what you see, nein?" the posing girl did a little twirl to provide a fuller view to her audience.
Shinji blushed bright red as he tried to look away, but lacked the willpower. "Uhhhh..."
"I didn't get to try this bikini at Okinawa, but at least here I can wear it in the hotspring. Nice, huh?"
"Uhm...y-yeah..."
"Oh, go cool off. Hey, I wonder if Rei would wear a bikini if I took her out to buy one?"
It was too much as a trickle grew to a stream. Shinji bent forward, catching the blood pouring from his nose in his hands as best he could.
Asuka let out a sigh. "The Great Third Child is prone to nosebleeds at the slightest pressure. Who'da thought? C'mon, let's get you cleaned up." she reached over and took him by the shoulder. Her proximity did little to alleviate his problem.
"A-Asuka..."
"Aww, what's the matter? You don't like your reward for saving me?"
"I...geez, what do you want me to say?" Shinji sweated.
She smiled sunnily. "You're so much fun to tease..."
Misato watched the two teens with a sly eyebrow arching over her still youthful features. "So, how long do you think repairs will take?"
Ritsuko reclined on her deck-chair. "Unit 01's armour will need to be stripped down completely, most of it will probably have to be recycled. About sixteen percent of the outer organics will probably have to be regenerated too. Unit 02 is in surprisingly good shape, though I'm still expecting some toxins from the absorbed burnt flesh. The batteries will need replacing, along with half the sensors. In any case, you'll have two operational Evas in six days, less if we have to, and all three within ten."
"Good. Prioritise Unit 01 so we've got at least one Eva if we need it. " Misato necked a large dose of beer. "Man that feels great after a day like this."
Ritsuko followed suit. "For once I can agree. Still, it's not as if we were in the hot seat today. How those kids recovered so quickly is beyond me, especially Asuka."
"Oh, they've got other things to occupy them." Misato grinned. She could hear Asuka lecturing the boy from afar.
"Ah yes, the resiliance of youth. Funny, but ever since Shinji arrived I've had to think of myself as 'old'...I certainly can't kid myself that I'm still young with them around." Ritsuko touched the mole on her lip with the frosty bottle.
"Hah, believe me I know what you mean...multiplied. Shinji's so naive I want to pinch his cheeks and hug him to death."
"It seems like maybe the Second Child would like to do more than that to him."
"You think? Nahhhh...they're both way too young for that. Still, we dirty old hags can make fun of them, huh?"
"And dream too...innocence lost..."
Misato took another long sip and looked up at the sunset sky. "You were always such a sentimental drunk."
"I am not drunk! And watch who you call a hag!"
"Hey, sorry. Hmm, wanna hit the springs? Just make sure you get the right one - we can't afford to lose a pilot due to blood loss!"
"I would've thought he'd be immune by now after living with you for so long. Still, maybe he'd benefit from seeing a real woman for once..."
"Oh sure Rits, a fake blonde will change his outlook. C'mon, the last one nekkid has to pay for the drinks!"
Asuka sidled up to Rei before class began. "Hey First Child, didja miss us?"
"No."
"Right...but you're glad we're back?" the Second Child asked with a resigned aire.
Rei considered for a moment. "I am glad that my friends have returned. Your presence here is necessary and I personally benefit from this arrangement."
Asuke nodded, somewhat satisfied. "Y'know, I did some research and found out something interesting. You should have pointed ears."
"I am not a...demonic messenger."
"You're half alien, aren't you? Yeah! Half Vulconian, with blue blood and no emotions."
The albino frowned, "I do not think so. My blood is red."
Asuka tried to hide a grin. "Yeah yeah. I was just teasing, you know. But apparantly there was a pre-second impact story character who was an alien and had no emotions, reminded me of you."
"I am not a fictional character."
"But do you dye your hair? You don't, do you? What about contact lenses, or are your eyes really red?"
Rei looked as close to offended as the redhead had ever seen her. "I do not modify my appearance beyond washing and wearing clothes. I do have my hair trimmed at Nerv at regular periods." she said, almost sternly.
With a laugh, Asuka shrugged. "That's pretty cool...talk about individual, you don't care what anybody thinks of you. If you weren't such a lap-dog to the Commander, I'd think you're be a rebel. Too bad, huh?"
"I do not wish to rebel against the Commander."
"No, of course you don't. We all have to have something to believe in, right? For me, I believe in myself. You believe in the Commander." Asuka stopped when a thought occurred to her."I wonder what Shinji believes in?" she pondered.
"I do not believe that he had anything to believe in before your arrival. Now, it appears that he believes in you. That would be appropriate since the causality loop is shortened. I believe that my belief in the Commander is similarly bolstered by his self-belief, although I am not privy to his opinion on this."
Asuka nodded, amused by her friend's verbose thoughts. "Hmm, you're a philosopher alright. Are you going to study it at University when you grow up?"
"I...have not thought of my future beyond Project E."
She sighed loudly. "You kids have no concept of 'future', do you? I swear that is why I surpassed everyone, much more than my natural talents. You, Shinji, everyone. You're all push-overs, not interested in moving forward until you're forced to. Pah!"
"To attempt to manipulate fate is...sacriligious."
"Sacriligious? I had no idea you were religious! Well, that explains a lot."
"I was indoctrinated with Dogma as it related to Project E. It provides a framework for my life's directions and actions."
Asuka's eyes widened in comprehension. "So that's it...is Commander Ikari a religious man? Is that why he sent Shinji away, somehow?"
"I am not privy to the Commander's spirituality or his decisions outside of Project E. However, I do believe that he believes the indoctrination he bestowed on me."
"Hmm...Shinji doesn't know much about his father, you know. I wonder if he'd be interested in your religion?"
"I do not know. He has expressed interest in the Commander before, however. Your assertion may be true."
"Okay, eloquent philospher, I'll let him know. See you around, Socrates."
"Goodbye, Asuka."
Author's Notes:
It was noted that I haven't changed Asuka's personality - she's still a real bitch at times. That's deliberate; same Asuka, slightly different attitude to others and in particular to her fellow pilots. Keep up the criticisms, they make me think! Arigato to all reviewers!
I know, I know, still no real differences in the story. Truth to tell, I can't wait to get to the 13th Angel...thats when my ideas REALLY kick in. In the meantime, well, let's look at interactions and motives.
/ Omake #4 /
"I'm sorry, but we're simply not compatible." Asuka sighed.
"I mean, you're easy enough to live with and you're quiet and shy, but that's not enough reason for me to put up with you all the time, you know? A girl's got to have space."
"Urk..."
"You keep Misato under control, but even so I think our relationship can't be based on mutual respect."
"Uhrm..."
"You're all the same, you men. You're all trouble, and you're causing me no end of it. Sorry Pen-Pen, but I'm getting you booted out! So see you around, Feathers!" she commanded the penguin imperiously.
"Asuka, why are you talking to Pen-Pen?"
"Just sorting out my feelings, Third Child."
"Uhm...right..."
"Forget it Shinji, you wouldn't understand." 'There's only room for one man in my life.'
"Yeah...sure. Any requests for dinner?"
"Less fish, more real meat!"
"Well, I'll talk to Misato about the food budget, then..."
"Humph." 'Luckily for you, you don't make 'man' status, more like 'slave'. Therefore, I guess you can stay.'
Poor Shinji...
Re-Copyright 2008 (Re-writes in good faith accepted however.)
-fin-